Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3512. page

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Super easy and you can find the stuff around your house or at any store. Just add a fair share of blood (red) on the shirt, and you're good. Just make sure you have a name tag that says "Shaun" on it.

>>17714129
And just to be clear, don't actually bring a cricket bat.

>>17714110
Don't wear masks if it's a normie thing. Just do something simple like a pirate or something that doesn't require a mask.

here is a sure fire way to find out if a girl likes you

>ask her on a date
>make it known it is a date

if she says yes, great. if she says anything other than yes its a no.

if she says
>oh im just so busy lately
and refuses a solid reschedule, its a no.

if she says
>OH ID LOVE TO BUT I JUST GOT OUT OF A BAD RELATIONSIHP AND NEED TIME TO MYSELF
its a no.

>>17714078
I don't want to fuck up a friendship though, I got rejected literally 3 weeks ago, and she knew. She even asked if I still liked her. I'm almost expecting a "no" from her. Would asking her roommate whom I'm friends with if she is "annoyed" by me be a good idea? I trust her to not tell her something like that.

>>17714089
There is no friendship between male and female.
Hell, there is no friendship between female and female.
Girls are not capable of understanding what friendship means. It's sad, but it's true.

>>17714058
Naa

My room is pretty small

>>17714069
Do you crawl over whoever is staying in your bed?

Or is it just you?

>>17714043
Run for office.

>>17714043

Take a ride on society's underside. Rid yourself of pretention for a while on your own personal rumspringa of sin. give it a bit, then see how you feel about it.

ask yourself, honestly, why you feel the way you do about things. realize morals and beliefs are totally arbitrary, then if you still want your old morals, take them back with no regret or doubt in your mind about how you feel.

honestly. life is short. take a ride.

>>17714064
society's underside? that's not a place in the way you are thinking. that just described impoverished areas.

I shouldn't have to tell anyone this, but there are very immoral people *everywhere.* I could be exceedingly immoral in any position at any time.

I'm not sure why you would tell me to do a bunch of things that I'd feel bad about, though.

>>17714028
Talk to the father face to face. Obviously try not to be a creep and talk like an adult. You don't have to complain, just tell him that his daughter is 17 and she can make her choices without his dad. Even if this is bullshit try to convince him on that.

or

You could wait 5 FUCKING MONTHS so that she gets 18 and can tell her father to fuck off.

Typically parents like this are control freaks and don't stop. I suggest ending the relationship, wait until she's 18 (controlling parents won't give a fuck if she's 18 but worth a shot), or talk to him face-to-face (probably not best idea since controlling dudes tend to be alpha male try hards).

Can't do shit until she's 18, but even then it might still be difficult depending on how extreme her dad's willing to go.
My dad was similar, he always thought I was a slut, even though I'm still a virgin to this day, and was hyper protective about dudes since I sprouted boobs at 12.
He made my life hell, and practically impossible to date, but after I turned 18 I reminded him legally he couldn't tell me what to do anymore and if I wanted to go spend time with my boyfriend alone I was going to.
Ball was in his court then, he could either disown and kick me out, or accept I can make my own decisions. Thankfully, he wasn't that psychotic and decided to trust me a little (but still accused me of being a whore every second he reasonably could.)

You're going to be calling her dad's bluff when she's 18. If he decides to completely cut her off in hops she'll come crawling back to his control, do you really want to be the one supporting her? You're young. You will most likely break up eventually, the chances this girl is "the one" is next to nothing. But if you're the reason she has no connection to her family any more, I'd hope you'd feel at least a little responsible for her well being.

I think the responsibility is more on her end right now. She needs to be the one to put her foot down with her dad and remind him she's not a kid and him controlling her is ruining her relationships. If she won't do that, then your options are to deal potentially as long as it takes for her to become financially independent, or move on.

>>17714016
This can happen again. Think about that.

>>17714016
lmao your life sounds like a romcom

Don't trust anyone who would play with you and try to make you insecure. There are good bitches out there. You gotta be patient <3

If you find it annoying, you should mention it to him. It's pretty normal to pick up gesture and expressions from the people you talk to, especially if you're close, but you make it sound like he's really obnoxious and always has to tell you something beyond what you just told him. You should really call him out on it, don't let the things that annoy you build up.

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>>17713991

Your boyfriend is kind of shitty. I can't really put my finger on exactly the trait that it is but he's just irritating. It kind of sounds like he just always wants to be the center of attention, like no one around him can have any issues, concerns or life stories that take precedence over his.

Like, on its own its not something I'd say you should end your relationship over but if I had to interact with someone like this on a regular basis I'd set them on fire.

He is who he is. If you can accept it and find ways to work around it, stay with him. If its driving you fucking nuts then leave him. He isn't going to change.

>>17713991
I kind of think it's weird, personally. Obviously all of these things could be seen to be fairly normal but in context if he does this often it sounds like hes saying something that's a more exaggerated version of what you said. Maybe he wants all the attention on him? You should have a calm discussion about this.

>>17714249
Lmao dude she's lying so she doesn't have to explain why she doesnt cum when you're fucking her. she isn't attracted to you enough to orgasm and is most likely cheating on you. Sorry you had to find out like this.

>>17714256
Meant for op whoops

>>17713911

your penis, especially if oyu are circumcised, will only occassionally feel a rush of pleasure. for hte most part (for me anyway) what feels good is the orgasm. edging is fine, but i wouldnt want to end with edging.

massaging your penis does not feel as good as say, massaging your back, which can be constant pleasure from start to finish.

the womans vagina is more like a 'back' in that sense. it experiences pleasure jsut from stimulation, it is like a vagina massage. its the reason something like a vibrator causes such good sensations.

eating lick of your tongue on a vagina can feel great, but if someones sucking my dick it doesn't really 'feel good' until i orgasm.

imagine if everytime you had sex, it felt like a back massage. wouldn't be such a big deal if you didn't get to cum too, yeah?

the reason women and men are different is literally because we are different. they do not have penises.

evolution wise ours were built up that way becuase the orgasm is what releases the seed. ergo, if we have too much pleasure before orgasm, we wont ifnish, and thus wont reproduce.

women meanwhile need it to feel good so they are less likely to FIGHT against sex in the wild.

thats why a female orgasm deosn't leave them exhausted. its why they can have a couple or and even different kinds.

using the word orgasm for both male and female climaxes is probably a reason why people get confused. they deserve different names imo becuase they are not the same thing, the same way that a sneeze feels great and amazing and satisfying and leaves you feelign spent but isn't an orgasm.

>>17713892
As a man, you have to bear in mind that your feelings count for absolutley nothing. They're a bit like your nipples - we only have them because male and female foetuses start out the same, but they don't serve any real purpose. As a member of the dick owner's club, the world doesn't care about how you feel, so you shouldn't either.

The absolute best thing you can do is get a job. That's 50 hours a week where you're not thinking about your problems because you're too busy, and at least five evenings a week where you're too tired to think about them. Before you start to make excuses, remember that the world doesn't care, so you don't either. Getting a job will let you do things like move out and buy a car, which in turn will get you out of the bad enviroment you're in and get you mixing with new, positive people. Doesn't matter what job you get, as long as you own it. If you work at Burger King, be the best onion ring maker in the entire company. If you work in a supermarket, win the "cashier of the year 2017" award. If you clean toilets, clean them twice as fast and three times as well as everyone else who works there.

There's no easy way out for you, and your only real option is to just nut up and get on with it. You're perfectly capable of doing it, you just don't know it yet.

thanks for reply !, but working sucks ! i dont wana sell my mind and soul to be best at fliping burgers or cleaning toilet, i need some kinda of goal in my life i need to undstand what is worth doing ,so it would motivate me. I red sotries about what people think before they die most of them think about things they could have done and didint do. i dont wana end up like them but i just dont understand what to do , iam fucking damaged by this fucking life i have...

>>17714032
Just take a burger job for now, it will keep your mind focused on your well being. Then you can make more permanent plans. I'm in the same situation, I know working drains you more than you already are, but if you stop trying you'll be in that bed forever. Then when you're old you'll regret letting your family hold you back and you'll just be resentful. Start right now, go for a walk.

>Literally not knowing how to eat something, how to think about food, because I don't know the evolutionary history of the development of my throat/ stomach mucus

This comes across as some sort of shizo thing via how bizarre it is but then I know nothing

>>17713899

Existence is paradoxical
Existence is contradictory
Existence is unreasonable
Existence is dual
This is the truth of existence
But the truth beyond that
Is that this duality
Is an illusion
Existence is an illusion
And as part of this illusion
We feel lonely
When we know we are everything

I am not trying to mock you right now, rather I am adding to my op

>>17713880
Uh, have you thought of visiting a shrink?
This strikes me as schizo/add/ocd or something. I mean, this level of intrusive thoughts is not good at all.

>>17713852
Get surgery and move some of your remaining fat to your chest, because flat chicks are fuckin grosssssss.

>>17713852
None. You look pretty good.

OP are you a guy?

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>>17713847

Because that would shatter her image of you into a thousand tiny pieces, each piece a reflection of the idea that you're a big ol' bitch

>>17713847
She and her new bf will laugh at your desperate pleas.

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>>17713847
Smoke pot and jack off thinking about her. For fucks sake go crazy insane. Shove your toothbrush up your asshole.

In yer dreams

>>17713835
I will tell you once I got one of them pinned down for marriage.

The autistic girls on 4chan, like me.
And the incredibly obese.
Think about it OP, every person who's a virgin is one for a reason. They're going to be damaged goods in some way. I say that from experience.

>>17713823
Talk to your landlord, and send him pictures. They most likely have a clause in it that allows them to evict if not properly caring for the property. Work with them, and see what they can do.

Alternatively, tell him to hire a weekly maid or you'll hire one and sue him for the reimbursement.

Last suggestion I can offer is to call his parental figures (if he has some) and talk to them. Tell them the maid bit, explain your frustrations and how many times you've talked to him, and try to work something out.

I doubt you're going to get anywhere with being subtle about it though.

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>>17713823
the rest of his room

>>17713836
The first two were things I was actually considering so I am going to try first. And yeah, being subtle is what got me into this mess. Every time I do actually call him out on something he gets super defensive and somehow pins it on me. Fuck my life at the moment.

Thanks for the advice anon

Please guys, i need some light in this shit.

ANONS PLEASE

Do something, and don't do nothing. Even if you do the "wrong" thing, you will have closure.