Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3508. page

>>17715522
There is a third alternative to cheating or breaking up, which doesn't seem to have occurred to you.

Date non-exclusively. It is perfectly legitimate to be close-friends-who-date, or to do what used to be called playing the field. Go out with people, get as close as you both wish, but acknowledge that you are both doing the same with others. When and if you find one you want to be exclusive with, you break off with the others.

If you break up, don't except them to take you back. Especially if it's just so you can fuck other people. Of course it's not technically cheating, but it's still kind of a stab in the back. Even if they'd forgive you, they might find someone else.

>>17715622
>Date non-exclusively.
I doubt it will fly if you ask someone to be non-exclusive after a year-long relationship.

>>17715649
>If you break up, don't except them to take you back.
Yeah I see that 100% so I'm unsure how to avoid that, but it seems that's impossible.
>>17715622
Since we're both young I don't want either of us to miss out on the experience of others' affection and polygamy sounds like the cheap way out of trouble. I figured if we had a pause in our relationship the heart grows fonder or it's a test of time.
We've already been in a long distance relationship this whole time, though, so distancing ourselves wouldn't be difficult either. Keeping in contact until both of us are more situated to come back and I don't want them to get sick with the oneitus bug this hard.

>>17715514
You have put your finger on the single most difficult part of creative writing. Most writers, whether of fiction, drama or (especially) poetry, want to affect the reader emotionally. The how-to is the essence of the task.

Try to identify the emotion as clearly as you can. Then try to think about a situation - a visual picture - that would evoke that emotion. Then ask yourself how the people in the picture got there, working out the "back story". Then tell the story from the chronological beginning (which might in fact be the last thing you thought your way to).

>>17715626
Thanks man, writing out those steps actually helped me quite a bit. I have several basic ideas as to what write about now, so now I suppose I should think them through in more detail to see if they work.

>>17715514
OP, I don't know how much time you have on your hands, but you should close read some good novels and see how they carry out the emotional effect.

To give you some tips:

It's all about analogy.
You're going to have to figure out why you feel this way and writing going to help you travel through your though she and emotions. A story is like a map that you create as you explore something.

Read up on the fundamentals of aesthetic and efficiency.

Just start writing stuff. And it doesn't have to be reflections of this feeling you have. Practice with some other, easier feelings you have.

You probably don't want to hear this but writing that truly has the ability to evoke strong emotion takes years and years to develop the skill to compose. Do your due diligence and and you'll get there.

Lastly, nobody is going to teach you writing but yourself. Everything I said here is tips or whatever but it's ultimately meaningless unless you find your own way.

>>17715468

>What's so bad about me? Am I ugly? Am I scary? Am I boring?

We have no idea.

>Why don't people like me? Why don't girls like me? Why do they all leave me and cheat on me?

We have no idea.

>Is this not enough for women? To be loved?

Yes, it is.

>Don't women want love?

Yes, they do.

>>17715473

^^
what this anon is trying to say is that in your inebriated state, you've given us no context to your problems so that we can be helpful.

>>17715477
Why don't girls or women love me. And why don't they seem to end up actually loving me every time they do

Why can't they just love me as long as I love them

It takes me ages to get over them. I always think about them and miss them so badly as I go to bed and every daydreaming moment of my mind. I only really loved one though but she's the one who cheated the most

Why can't it just last, and when it ends why does it take so long to find another girl to hurt me?

The problem is you can't be perceived abusive to people under your care.

the perception is what would sink you, it wouldn't have to be between you and someone else. a third party could get the wrong idea just by over hearing you

>>17715437
In front of customers, of course one should keep their cool and never raise their voice to berate another employee, I know.
I understand that part.

But in general, when no customers are around, would it be all right?

>>17715445

nope

if you goto general manager, and start dropping f-bombs on the other managers, that not only could cause problems with the workers, but it undermines your manager's authority to direct those workers.

Ok, I can give you some advice about this because I'm in his shoes. My sex drive has gone down immensely due to stress and depression. My ex girlfriend hated me for it because we barely had sex cause I just wasn't ever in the mood. It hurt our relationship a lot.

So talk to him about how he's been feeling, if his mental health is alright and or if he's over worked. Bare with him and things will get better. Communication is key.

Yea talk to him, and make sure that you aren't putting on weight

>>17715391

So when you tell him you want to have more sex he says what to you? No?

Even if his sex drive isn't the best right now due to whatever reasons he should be catering to your needs anyway. It's not like sex is a chore, it feels fucking great, get him in the mood more often and he might bounce back.

Touch him and stuff to show you're ready to get it on, be playful. Maybe he just doesn't think you're seductive enough anymore and it's gotten routine. Does he initiate when you guys do have sex or is it always you?

>>17715377
Get some cough medicine, vitamin C, and drink lots of water. Why don't you want to go to the doctor?

I feel too awful. I appreciate the reply, though, thanks.

>>17715377
Stay hydrated.

>>17715350

Okay here's a question, how many women do you approach/talk to face to face, in person, everyday?

>>17715350
Well - what do you want? Are you good enough to get that?

>>17715350

>Daily "women sucks" thread.

I've heard women complaining about the same thing, but anyway like >>17715357 are you worth o quality woman? or you're just hoping to your undefiled princess to jump in your arms?

i want to hijack your thread

if you find a good one yes
if you find a bad one no

that's pretty much it...it can be a very helpful relationship in the right circumstances though, speaking from experience. why not try it?

>>17715319

Because i want to know first how helpful a psychologist can be, i want hear from someone's else experience, don't want to waste my time and money.

im not really sure what moral beliefs would make you turn down sex. 'god is watching and would disapprove' or something? i'll never get that...

but it sounds like you're having second thoughts too.

why not just let yourself have what you obviously want...

Not exactly second thoughts more of looking for an opinion.

I do believe in God but that's not what I want to really discuss.

I just feel like wanting something and lusting after something are different things. If we're talking about what I want, I want someone to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

I just want to know if waiting is considered the "right" thing to do.

>>17715382

"right" depends entirely on the moral foundation you live your life.

only you can decide what that is.

now if you're asking if its right by some other standard, like society, thats a bit more complicated

File: 1466169529173.jpg (436KB, 1182x966px) Image search: [Google]

436KB, 1182x966px

h-help how do i get that good feeling of life back?

This is real life. Welcome, Anon.

You're tired. Its ok, it happens.

Did something recent just drain the last bit of energy out of you? Whats going on?

>>17715310
>Basically, I have no friends and thus have no one to introduce me.
Make friends first. You're going to be unstable in a relationship if your girlfriend is your only friend.
I'm not trying to be mean, but it happens a LOT.

What sort of girls do you wanna meet?
And also gonna agree with >>17715329
You gotta make other friends. My boyfriend was my primary friend for a long while when I moved to a new city and it fucking sucked.

>>17715329
Replace girls with friends in the OP, same issue.

>>17715337
I'm into tomboys if that's what you mean?

>>17715295
This is what I would tell my 19yo self; there's no magic pill for getting motivated. Just keep in mind that if you don't do anything now, a decade later you'll still be trying to accomplish the same things like self sufficiency and discipline. I'm 28 and haven't even attempted to get my drivers license.

>>17715295
Go to college or get a job, just get your life moving, even if you don't have it in you, pretend you do.

>>17715365
So fake it until I make it?

File: 16d.png (275KB, 638x421px) Image search: [Google]

275KB, 638x421px

Switch sisters but of course.
It's a gamble, I know, but you have to ask yourself this: do you want a family or a GF you adore? What is more important to you?

And that lack of satisfaction with the relationship with your current GF might one day show up and you will lose everything. And then you might regret not taking the chance.

>>17715896
Is it even acceptable for someone to date their sisters ex?

File: 1454182898407.png (808KB, 1080x1059px) Image search: [Google]

808KB, 1080x1059px

>>17715901
Who cares?

Dude gross

What the fuck bro I was gonna make a sandwich

Il take my chances

File: KIMG0057.jpg (1MB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2560x1440px

>>17715269

File: KIMG0055.jpg (1017KB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

1017KB, 2560x1440px

>>17715271

Giorgio