Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2511. page

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L2-B-aluCE

>>18052318

I often think I'd like to try this

>Is meditation the answer?
While I tend to encourage anyone to do meditation under any circumstances you shouldnt expect wonders. In the long run it would definitely help, but it definitely won't turn you into an exemplary member of society by itself.

You can't wipe the slate clean, that only works for computers. What you can do instead is change what you have. The brain is changing constantly based on your circumstances, experiences and ideologies (look up neuroplasticity). According to your own words your current state is insecurity, self-destruction etc. You can't simply delete all that (well some people claim they did it, they spontaneously changed their whole lives and personalities, but it's unverifiable and usually involves a lot of mysticism, so even if it would be true you can't replicate it). What you can do is that you can slowly change the way your brain works. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, it's fucking hard. Especially for someone in your position, since you'll keep trying to sabotage yourself. You will need to be smart about it, you will need to keep an open mind and you will need willpower. You will need to believe in something. A God, a person, an idea, human kindness, change, whatever. But you must have "faith". This is more important than I can explain.

What you must also keep in mind is that all change comes from within. It's your own mind that ultimately decides how and what to do, feel or think. External factors will only offer you opportunities and disadvantages, but they don't have complete control over what happens inside your mind. This is where meditation comes in. It will teach you how to maintain and enrich your positive and constructive thoughts and emotions and how to acknowledge and accept the bad ones without loosing yourself in them.

I suggest you read the following books, preferably in this order:
You are not so smart by David Mcraney
The power of habit by Charles Duhigg
10% happier by Dan Harris
Happiness by Matthieu Ricard

Take the offer. You'll feel better after having the experience, it'll make you better for next time when you're with your own girl.

And damn dude what a cool couple they're down for that lmao, and you get to fuck her??

>>18052223
Take the offer, you'd regret not doing it more than you'd regret doing it.

If you're shit you can write it off as being uncomfortable to the situation of another dude being there. Do they know it's your first time?

>The first time always is
Gonna stop you right there. That aint true, unless you MAKE it true. If you go into it thinking "I'm gonna suck" then you will, because you chose to suck.
If you go into it with more confidence, you're far more likely to give her a good time, even if inexperienced. Sex is weird, every person is different, there's no way to really have "experience" all around, you just have experience with that person.
I was with a dude who was well experienced recently. Guess what, despite fucking a hundred girls before me, the first time with me was a little awkward. The reason it wasn't bad though, was because despite poking me in the wrong places a couple times (hell, he even accidentally hurt me), he played it off every time. He went too deep, I yelped and pulled back, he stopped to make sure I was ok. I took a short breather to recover while we laughed it off, kissed, worked back up to it. He wasn't freaking out, he didn't lose his stride, he realized "Oops, I fucked up a little. Oh well, this shit happens, she's ok, lets keep going"
Even if you mess up, it's going to be ok so long as you're cool man.

In this sense, in this circumstance, yes you are likely not going to be as good as your friend. Not because you've never banged before, but because you've never banged /HER/ before. He will know her body much better than you, because he's done her before.

Personally, I wouldn't do this if I were you. You don't sound like you have the confidence to pull off a 3 way, and thats ok. You're not even really an adult yet. You're a teenager. It's fine, take your time man. Sex with someone meaningful is always better than a hook up anyway

Sure, let's hear a vocaroo sample.

Though honestly I don't think your accent will be deterring. I too get off put by a pajeet accent, but I don't mind European accents. I think it's because the Indians tend to mumble a lot. If you speak and annunciate clearly it should be fine.

>>18052175

Google guides for English phonology and phonological awareness, learn what actually happens when producing English phonemes and practice. Most likely your pronunciation will only improve once you start to post your videos, so it's good practice all the same as long as you're aware of what you're doing.

However, in the global world the varieties of English are quite common and RP is becoming a rarity, so you have nothing to really worry about. As long as you're understood and the content of your videos is relevant, the audience won't much care about your accent.

>>18052175
Speak the language as much as possible, dont think when you speak. Practice makes perfect.
also >>18052185

make a dummy facebook or instagram account and sign up through that

>>18052160
This.
Honestly I made a secondary fb account from the get go because I didn't trust tinder not to post anything or take my info off facebook and use it shittily.
And because I didn't really want random strangers finding my fb page that easily and stalking me out without me even knowing.
Later on when I tried tinder again, since I realized I had to be logged into the secondary fb on the app in order for tinder to work properly (and it got annoying switching over back and forth) I just used my real account because I trusted it more after using it the first time.

The only real benefit to using a "real" fb account is the "mutual friends" feature. Though personally I found that to be a negative. People can just see I have a mutual friend from my profile, hop on facebook, search my name in that mutual friend's friend list, and find my account to creep on all without ever even swiping me. Just seemed weird to me. I digress.

If you do make a secondary fb, my only suggestion is to go and like some pages on it. Music you like, tv shows, etc, because tinder will then show it when someone sees your tinder profile that you both liked X band's page. Gives you some connections.

>>18052182
I don't have a facebook, just a dummy Facebook for bands and shit, so I would use that. But I hate that you need to have a Facebook for tinder. Not op btw. But it fucking blows.

>>18052089

Set up separate places for studying and free time. I never study at home, but go to uni library and vice versa. It takes some time to set up that routine, but it's worth it. When I have deadlines I spend 6-8h at the library during "work time" and then come home for off time. It helps to set the mood.

>>18052105
That sounds like a great idea. The library's a bit too far from my campus building, but there's a study area for my department in its grounds. I feel silly not thinking of that sooner.

One thing though, what if I can't reach that special place for one reason or another? my course requires me to draw stuff with clean sheets of paper and the study area isn't all that clean.

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Look into consciously building habits around your addictions.
Find a cue in your existing routine (returning from classes/finishing dinner) and do the tiniest amount of work possible, without excuses. Then push yourself to keep at it as long as you can, and give yourself a reward (a heartfelt fist pump or the like should be good enough).
While you are at it, avoid cues to your old habits. Turn off your phone, move away from PC and consoles. Move your work to library.

I think they can if it's temporary and you have a solid basis of having dated them without distance as an issue beforehand. It's not really a sustainable relationship in my experience so it needs to have a deadline (i.e. a light at the end of the tunnel) and you need to have built up the relationship a lot so that there is still something there for all the ways the distance will chip away at it.

Otherwise, I wouldn't bother.

>>18052046
Long distance isn't super easy to handle, but if you're a strong couple it won't ruin you or make your life terrible.
In general, if you were meant for each other, one of those couples that are great together, you'll work long distance.

You have to make sure you see each other often (once a week, since your distance isn't all that big would be ideal) and you have a plan to be together in the long run. You have to make sure you're good at communication, trusting and you have a full life other than your partner.
If you have these things going for you, it'll work.

>>18052054
This.

I dated a girl I met online. She lived in TX, I live in OR. We did the LDR online thing for a year, but the entire time, she was making plans to move to OR to be with me and also go back to school. So she was saving money, making the arrangements, etc. It worked out for us. I mean, we broke up 2 years after she moved here, but that's of no consequence now.

So basically, yeah, unless one of you is actively working to close the distance gap, and soon (1 year or less), you're wasting everybody's time.

>>18051969
OP it's really not that bad. 14 year olds nowadays look 18 if not older. Plus theres younger you could've jerked off to. Seriously, get over it

That's not a big deal. I'd be more worried about voices in your head telling you things. That's not normal at all, even for someone riddled with guilt.

>>18051969
>How to live with myself?

Step one: don't do it alone. Go for help and therapy. If you can't pay it, ask friends and family or look up non-profits that might offer help for free/cheap.

The best way to keep the fake voices in your head at bay is by getting real voices with you. Ask for help. Good luck.

>>18051955
The idea is a good one and you're a great person for this but I would consider staying with him and reading him the stories, just a thought :/

>>18051964
That's a nice idea, but I don't want to make it creepy, since I don't know him all that well. I was thinking his dad might read to him, if he's too weak to read himself.

>>18051955

Keep it short, simple and motivating. "Every hero has his hardships. Maybe these books will inspire you while you beat yours" or something of the sort.

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Nigger ill tell you what a no-no question is.

You got a important deal break interview in the morning and it is midnight. You can't get sleep for shit as much as you try and then the time comes you shower get ready suit up and boot up when you get there you have 3 people interviewing you at the same time you have a surprisingly good autopilot and are able to answer everything correctly and even manage to impress them but then the question of "what are some of your achievements" comes up and you take a short time to answer it briefly unprepared for the follow up from 1 of them taking 10 minutes to explain to you that it's alright to have small things as achievements then you ask. YOU ASK. YOU ASK THE FUCKING NO-NO OF FUCKING NO-NO QUESTIONS.

>"can we please move on to the next question?"

I almost killed myself. Still lose sleep over that interview.

>>18051945
you should take this as a warning and never see her again. This is how unsuspecting guys like you get killed.

>>18051945
I usually ask something along these lines in the first date or two. It's amazing the way some people sperg out (like this girl did) and reveal themselves. Saves you a lot of wasted time.

Why do you think literally everyone at mcdonalds is high?

>>18051942
Drugs aren't an option

>>18051951
Yeah I don't doubt that. You could work out a lot to make yourself feel better.

My thoughts are that children are for when you have 'completed' whatever your lifes work is.

Pretty much you need to get all the shit done that you wanna do before you have kids, but once you have kids THEY are the priority and all your dreams and goals are gonna come behind theirs.

Most people just have kids because they think its what they are 'supposed' to do, and then end up feeling unsatisfied and unaccomplished because they didnt lead a fullfilling life before becoming someones caretaker.

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>>18051903
I'm 25 and in a similar position except that I want children and we've decided to get pregnant. Most people want children for narcissistic reasons, and I think at important to vet those factors in yourself. Once you have kids, you SHOULD do everything in your power to provide them with skills, tools, and good development so they can become the best man and woman you could imagine. You are giving the world a human - it deserves a really, really good one.

The pros of having kids are the joys of family, and having a hand in the future. If you have nothing of value to offer the future, you can offer something of value in a well raised and intelligent child. The pros of having people who will take care of you in your old age, provided you are a good and loving parent. There is also this extra special bond of "becoming a family" with a long term partner. I am biased, OP, but in my mind, pros outweighs the cons of "not living my own life." What do you really do that is so precious? Watch Netflix whenever you want and "travel?" There are more nuanced ways to grow and learn as adult than the "child free" way of the life the media is pushing.

Make as many as you can safely emotionally and economically raise, is how I view it

>>18051792

Have you ever asked anyone on a date?

>>18051792
Reflect on your overall personality. You may be unapproachable or an asshole so you don't get relationships.

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>>18051792
Sometimes my dude, people can look at you and smell desperation. I'll give you a list of what women find attractive in a man:

> Have a job, doesn't matter what
> Have a life, your own friends etc
> Give them space.
> Be a gentleman when you are together.
> Be cleanly, bathe, deodorant, the basics.

But most importantly, don't get upset when they go for other ventures; you're both human and everyone has different tastes.

Source: I'm a bartender at a pub, and a nightclub. I see similar shit all the time.

Got to the psychiatrist and improve your Japanese des.

Take it from a 164cm shit skin living in a white country.

If I can do it, so can you.

Also, fuck the psychiatrists no one knows yourself better than you. Take time to sit back, relax, see what problems arise in your ahead and think of ways to solve them.

>>18051773
I'm not usually a proponent of 'though love'. But brother, this is some serious victimisation.

Stop seeing yourself as this helpless victim. No one has done a harsh thing in your life, and possibly that's the harshest thing that's actually happened to you.
I hope you realise how MANY people that's in the exact same predicament as you? They aren't bothered by not stereotypically fitting in. So what fucking excuse do you have?

>>18051772
Try adding animu and mango stuff to your profile

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I have adapted my profile to appeal to her however she may think I have shit taste... the one thing she doesn't mention is what she wants in a potential partner... That's what's got me on my tip toes.

She's not even fat though, eh? She's got that sort of nice clear smooth skin and god her eyes just make me realize how fucking corny I'm being. She's shorter than me and certainly slimmer but I'm not an obese fuck. I've seen friends of mine capable of fucking the hottest chick in class plenty of times and still find a relationship right after that lasts for a while so I'm sure my bear-like build won't matter so much.

If It doesn't happen then yeah there's many fish in the sea but this one means something to me already bros. Shit I wish i could talk the talk naturally but I'm a social retard in the female relations department which is stupid because I'm a disgustingly good liar.

>>18051825
For good measure, make your primary photo a picture of Kirito

>>18051768
>pizza pockets

>>18051768
>He plays as alliance if that helps.
it does. get him a dildo, make-up and some womens clothing

>>18051805
Look i dont know jack shit about this game and sure hes probably playing the faggot side but im trying to do a memorable gift here. Please can you help me?