Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2506. page

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Sorry, this will be a little long.
Basically, I'm 22 and about to get through college without ever having a significant date, relationship, or even friendship made. Ideally, I really want something serious, something romantic. I've been trying my hardest for a long time, but I'm too picky, I have certain things I'm looking for and I just can't settle any lower on. Out of these 4 years of constant searching, I've only met a handful of people I was interested in, but they didn't have any interest in me. That's fine, I'm not whining about it, I've rejected lots of people I didn't have interest in too. Thats just the way the cookie crumbles.
Then I met this guy. He didn't want anything serious, but I was just so unbelievably sexually attracted to him I decided to take him up on the casual sex offer. I've known him for about a month now, we've only met up twice. I talk with him very casually on snapchat, but it's usually just small talk.
Last night though, shit. Valentines day is always a shit show to me. I lose my damn mind, basically I got trashed and sent him a bunch of very self depreciating snaps. I know he was a little weirded out about it because the friend I was with was snapping him to, and he sent something to her like "Man she's really drunk and sad right now" not knowing I was with her.

I basically just want to confirm, I blew it right. He's not gonna come back even for a handjob anymore right? If you were this dude, would there be any way for me to redeem myself?

Fuck valentines day man. It just turns me into a little fucking nutball every year, idk why. But I'm honestly fine the rest of the year.

>>18052221
>"Man she's really drunk and sad right now"
That's not much to go on, but my gut reaction is that he cares about you as a person. So hope is not lost.

>but I'm too picky, I have certain things I'm looking for and I just can't settle any lower on
I know this feeling.

Why would a woman not be a feminist?

>>18051769
Yes

Is your anxiety tied to not having felt sex or not being able to attract a woman? If its the latter, you'll just waste some money and feel shit afterward.

Yes. But don't buy a cheap one.

By how fast they are at learning

by how much i like them

There's different intelligences

For.me it's how fast they learn, how adept they are at problem solving and also how skilled they are at handling their emotional climates. As well as being honest about everything including failure and successes, being able to analyze what went right and how to repeat that and what went wrong and how to improve and not repeat the mistake.

Because society taught you to feel that way.

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>>18051503
This.
>>18051498
Internalized homophobia.

I never really had a problem with being gay because I fucking love it so I can't tell you how to overcome it. Being gay is an incredibly beautiful thing though. Maybe you'll reach a point in your life where you can love yourself. Or not and you can continue to be a self loathing bitch. Whatever works for you.

>>18051503
Did they? It seems like pro gay propaganda is everywhere you look.

At one point I used to date girls, but as I understood women better it became harder and harder for me to be attracted to them. Sex became a chore. I feel like now I understand women completely, and it would be essentially impossible for me to ever love one. I don't know if I could ever love a man, but I do know I could at the very least more likely put up with their bullshit. Also everyone I've ever admired has always been a man, everyone I've ever trusted has been a man. I can hardly even form friendships with women just because I know how full of shit they all are.

I have a pretty terrible relationship with both parents and have lived alone for years. Despite this, I still trust my own father more than my mother; my mother at least is a born bullshitter and basically a whore.

>>18051510
I have no doubt I could fulfill the task of reproduction. I do intend to have children one way or another. Millions of gay men have done it in the past, many will do it in the future. It's being married with a woman and that kind of lifestyle I don't think I could ever really deal with. Reproduction is really, just mostly mechanical and a matter of finding a willing surrogate.

>>18051518
This is just as stupid as statement as "Being straight is an incredibly beautiful thing." It's just fucking, don't pretend it's any more "beautiful" than taking a shit or eating breakfast.

>be sad
>cry some
>try to think about other people
>focus on her negatives
>try to be happy for her even though you yourself are unhappy
>do this for 5-6 months
>start feeling a little better

That's as far as I got

>>18053798
This

I got blackout drunk for a couple days and went on a roadtrip for no reason after I stopped being hungover, it worked out ok

>>18053780
>Makes sure food's always ready, takes care of all my shit without me ever having to tell her, goes out of her way to make sure I don't have to worry about anything
After a long day of being what sounds like your maid and servant she probably just wants to be by herself and relax. I guarantee you she doesn't feel sexy.

>>18053786
I kinda understand that and I've asked her numerous times not to slave herself away for me.
I couldnt care much about that stuff but her reply's always something along the lines of 'you don't really love me so you wouldn't know but i like to show my love and don't believe in shallow i love yous'

>>18053780
I've read a number of "Ask _____" columns in the paper so I feel prepared to answer this

If she still has sex with you, next time do something different. Remember when you were together for the first couple years and you couldn't be seperated? Think of that, think of the intimacy and start making out like teenagers on a couch. And keep doing this, over and over until it's normal. Some experiments have found that by forcing intimacy, it can become normal again.

>>18053775
The fastest way to earn money is a job. Nothing else pays more per hour.

>>18053776
Can I get a fake job?

>>18053784
a what?

yet you're looking for validation, beta ass bitch

>>18053772
Validation for what? What a useless comment

>>18053783
>>>
For stopping hanging out with friends, posted as a statement in /adv/ retard.

money and difficulty are always issues.

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How do you know what you want to do? Fuck man, do something relative and see if you like it!

You want to be a film director, get a bitch boy job serving coffee so you can see what it's about.

Entry level jobs for what you want is where it's at! They pay garbage, but experience is priceless.

Generally, people will enjoy things they are successful at. Of those three things, given you have a lot money, the safest bet is lawyer. Go to college, work hard, pay your way through a fancy law school, boom you're a good lawyer. The other two depend on how skilled you are, unless you are fantastically rich, you can't just buy success in making movies or clothes designing. But may be you are fantastically rich.

>>18053660
Just go to community college and take a survey semester and see if anything strikes your fancy. If not take some time off to work. It's what I did, now I'm not so lazy, but I used to be.

you'll probably go to college. I went and it was a mistake, but I've recovered just fine. if there is a job that you think you can stand to do all day with adequate pay and benefits do that now.

>>18053682
what job would you reccomend. Im no good with preasure and dont wanna do labor

work for free

that is a tough one, good thing not every job needs experience. keep looking you lazy shit

Connections.

But also, luck. Or just keep spamming your applications out until someone at mcfats gives you a chance.

>>18053475
sounds like she either likes you or thinks you'd be a good orbiter. Depends on how adamant she is about staying with her boyf

>You must be 18 years old to use this website

>>18053498
>im 21, shes 24

sad i know.

pt 2


>See her at party I was DJing at
>Lots of girls flirting and dancing with me
>She gives me dirty looks
>Her best friend she went to the party with starts making out with a random guy
>Think it was my ex, go inside disgusted
>See my ex babysitting a drunk person who was puking
>She stays by their side for the whole party
>She messages me after the party "You were fine, I didn't mean to give you dirty looks. I just wasn't expecting to see you there."
>Tell her no worries, would like to meet up and see her sometime in the future
>She doesn't respond
>She dumps her rebound a week before Christmas

final pt

>January I start using social media more. Posting pics and videos of me enjoying myself at parties and concerts
>Her friend tells me she was surprised how good I looked and happy I was
>She is tweeting about me weekly and tweeting about love and relationships and shit
>After three months of not speaking (last time was when I told her I wanted to see her) I message her saying I realized I was being crazy temporarily after the breakup. Was stressed out because we broke up a month before I got the promotion I wanted. Told her I was gonna ask her to move in with me and go on more vacations. Told her I never cheated on her, just over-reacted and wanted to cut ties with her. (I question if saying I wanted to cut ties with her made her think I'm shutting the door on her. I didn't spend much time re-reading the message before sending.)
>She reads it, doesn't respond. Tweets lots of hearts and smiley faces immediately after reading the message. Retweets some quote about love maddening the mind.
>Strong feeling she misses me, wants to see me too, but she is giving me radio silence.

So that message was about a week ago, no response. After she read my message she stopped using social media completely. hasn't posted anything since, which is unusual for her. She was posting selfies every few days.

Am I over-analyzing things? She's giving me super strong signals that she misses me, but I reached out to her and got no response. Is she testing to see if I'm going to chase her and show weakness? or am I supposed to send another message basically restating that I want to see her? I feel both have a 50% chance of failure. If I didn't say enough, and my message wasn't clear enough in saying I'm leaving the door open, then I'm screwed if I stick with no contact. But if she is testing me and just waiting to respond, sending another message might turn her off.

Please respond, this shit is driving me nuts.

She dodged a bullet. You sound fucking nuts.

>> set realistic goals
>> set realistic timeframes
>> work everyday on goals
>> ?????????????????
>>profit

>>18053466
The stuff I want isn't small goal based it has to be a routine. I need to workout and lose weight, I need to get my teeth whiter and cleaner, I need to clean my skin up. Basically its all goals that need to just be drilled into my life to better it.

Like I need to lose weight but I have hot pockets for snacks I drink soda still and think nothing of it.

>>18053507
What part of what I said doesn't apply to you?