I'm really conflicted here, so some insight would be helpful.

My thoughts are that children are for when you have 'completed' whatever your lifes work is.

Pretty much you need to get all the shit done that you wanna do before you have kids, but once you have kids THEY are the priority and all your dreams and goals are gonna come behind theirs.

Most people just have kids because they think its what they are 'supposed' to do, and then end up feeling unsatisfied and unaccomplished because they didnt lead a fullfilling life before becoming someones caretaker.

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>>18051903
I'm 25 and in a similar position except that I want children and we've decided to get pregnant. Most people want children for narcissistic reasons, and I think at important to vet those factors in yourself. Once you have kids, you SHOULD do everything in your power to provide them with skills, tools, and good development so they can become the best man and woman you could imagine. You are giving the world a human - it deserves a really, really good one.

The pros of having kids are the joys of family, and having a hand in the future. If you have nothing of value to offer the future, you can offer something of value in a well raised and intelligent child. The pros of having people who will take care of you in your old age, provided you are a good and loving parent. There is also this extra special bond of "becoming a family" with a long term partner. I am biased, OP, but in my mind, pros outweighs the cons of "not living my own life." What do you really do that is so precious? Watch Netflix whenever you want and "travel?" There are more nuanced ways to grow and learn as adult than the "child free" way of the life the media is pushing.

Make as many as you can safely emotionally and economically raise, is how I view it

>>18051911
>>18051915

These sort of just highlight my issues with having kids. If you decide to have them, then they're your responsibility. If they turn out as good people, it's all due to upbringing and if they turn out as fucked up messes, then it's also my fault. I just don't feel ready at all for that responsibility of having another person's life and success depend on me. It also takes 18+ years to raise a kid, so plenty of time to screw up somewhere. I'd like to think I'd make a decent parent, but I can't be sure, so is it wise to risk it?

>>18051903
22 year old guy here. I hope to have lots of kids.

Pros: Raising children well is one of if not the most important things you can do as a human being. All good, well rounded people I've met consider it a rewarding experience. You are affecting the future in a positive way.

Cons: It's a huge investment emotionally, financially, and in terms of time. You and your SO will lose some freedom for the children's sake. You'll have less time to play video games.

>>18051937
The fact that you've obviously put some thought into it and are humble and worried about screwing up probably makes you a better candidate for being a parent than many people.

>>18051950
CONS: Sometimes they never fucking grow the fuck up. Sometimes they need money forever. Sometimes they expect to move back home every 3 years even when they are 30. Even when one has great judgment, one has such poor judgment it costs you THOUSANDS and HEARTACHE and MISERY and never a moment's peace. Think hard about this. I'm a mom and talking about the daughter I wanted more than anything. I don't know where we went wrong.

>>18051992

Probably because her mother is in her 40's/50's and posting on fucking 4chan, that would be my guess. How can you even be here at that age?

I love how people w/ out kids are so quick to analyze the pros,... like they have a clue.

Like kids or not, realize that the act of having kids LITERALLY sentences them to a life of adversity.

I've watched a LOT of couples have kids way too early, and then they spend the child's life trying to compensate for aspects of parenting that they DIDN'T anticipate and are ill equipped to handle.

What's more, let's assume stable parents (income, resources, savings, etc). that child is inevitably going to interact with - and assimilate abhorrent behaviors from - the children of otherwise insufficient parents, who's poor impulse control makes them the popular/admirable kids in the social hierarchy.

And that doesn't even take into consideration the kids from broken/foster homes, potentially with violent/predatory behaviors.

>>18051915
This, esp the bit about narcissism. There's this curious phenomenon. Where the most drugged up skank will get knocked up by her drugged up Tom and suddenly (thanks hormones) think they're the Virgin Mary. Then they spend 6-12 months self righteously virtue signalling, Tom takes off, and the kid gets taken by child services in the end. Sorry, jaded I guess.