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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4683. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Have any robots ever been to prison?

Is it like how it's portrayed in the movies?
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
Yeah. When I was working as world leader of the yakuza and controlled the cartels I went to prison for 500 years. Shit was cash I'd beat people all day long and then fuck all the female prison guards. Must have had probably 500,000 cigarettes at one point
>>
>>37678240
Robots don't go to jail, or if they do, they get beaten to death for having cp. Failed normies go to jail for anything else
>>
I did a year's time, turned 18 in jail while sentencing was being determined then went to prison (the crime was serious enough to charge me as an adult).

It's pretty similar. Your race matters a lot. What movies fail to capture is how oppressively boring it is 99% of the time with the other 1% being when scary shit happens. I saw a guy who sexually assaulted a girl get beaten to a pulp, was so gruesome. Nobody hates the sex offenders more than other prisoners.

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convince a poor ugly neet kv that life is worth living
23 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
>>37678208
Got vidya, got hot cheetos? You are literally living better than a medieval king.
>>
>>37678230
always hated vidya, probably because my parents only ever let me play pokemon silver as a kid.

never had a hot cheeto either.
>>
Life is worth living in Ember's Ghost Squad.

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Is this the female version of a big penis?
132 posts and 21 images submitted.
>>
Being skinny/peitie

That's the only thing I can think of that MOST men would prefer.Men unlike women are willing to date almost every variety of female out there
>>
>>37678176
women will fuck any man with swagger and money.
>>
Nope, because only the virgins on /r9k/ care what a vagina looks like. A tight pussy would be the equivalent, but as you already know tightness has nothing to do with labia.

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Who's the wageslave now Mr. Goldenberg
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
4 years? Really?
>>
>>37678092
You're a cumlord, Harry.
>>
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>>37678092
How did he manage four years of that?

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>omegle.com
>"What do you wanna talk about?"
>tags: suicide, depression, sad
>brittle people talk about their feelings and why they want to die
>slowly convince them that i care about them
>help them direct anger outwards,
with no particular target

>cultivate the beginnings of homicidal ideation
>convince them that it isn't a good thing to talk about
>make them paranoid about what will happen if someone finds out about their thought crimes
>smile knowing i've done my part to make the world a better place
21 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>spend hours talking to someone on omegle
>they give me contact info and ask me to message them
>I don't
>>
>>37678103
you still invested yourself in the convo for ''hours''
other person is clearly the winner since you're satisfied over something that dull
>>
Lets make this a robot omegle thread! Put your interest as r9k in omegle!

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How do you shave with these things?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>>37677996
Men uses razors, real men use straight edges.
>>
>>37678019
Here's another dope who thinks that everything you see on Art of Manliness is real.
>>
>>37678019
Why would you use some wanky old timey shit when you can use a safety razor?

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I'm feeling pretty down today, post pictures, quotes, or songs that makes you happy.
11 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>37677929
>post pictures, quotes, or songs that makes you happy.

Here's something neat.
>>
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>>37677929
I just got myself some matcha tea and ate cheese, biscuits and walnuts for breakfast. I had vivid dreams last night which involved dragons, titans and ancient evils stirring beneath the surface of the world. It was almost like I was watching an action movie or playing a really cool video game. I wish I could describe the scenery of the titans' secret sanctuary to you. The way that the moonlight and stars danced around me as I beheld a map of the cosmos.

Now I'm about to get to work and I feel like I could write up a storm. I have Electric Youth playing in the background (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DSVDcw6iW8) and I have a good feeling about today.
>>
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They love the laughter
And they love the living,
The Moomins

Believing is caring
And sharing and giving,
The Moomins

They're always happy
And always at play,
The Moomins are having fun
Day after day,

The Moomins,
The Moomins,
The Moomins.

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Why is it when I masturbate I cry the past few months? I don't do it that often, but when I do jerk it even if I am in a happy mood, I cry and become miserable and alone feeling after. I just want to make it stop. Does anyone else feel this way? Is something wrong with me? I know I am generally not very happy but this seems too much. Could it be stress? Any help is appreciated honestly.
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>>37677892
Also if it helps I am a caregiver to my mom full time now. I don't have much time for myself at all anymore. If that could affect it I would like to know. That is only thing that has changed majorly.
>>
No one? :c bumpppp.
>>
>>37677892
Fine, Jesus Christ, I guess I'll bite. I'll ask only because it's relevant to the advice I may give: Male or female?

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Getting a gf sounds kinda shitty. Maybe the cuddling would be nice but:

>have to give up my lazy life style
>she will expect you to stop doing nerdy shit like playing vidya and playing 40k
>sex is literally just busting a nut in a soggy hole
>have to tend to her needs
>have to pay for her shit

Garbage if you ask me. NEET life is a blessing.
36 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>37677735
I agree. I think about how much work getting and keeping a gf would be. Nah senpai. I'll just jack off
>>
Same. Even if I was in love with a girl I don't know how comfortable I would be with somebody being physical nearby all the time
>>
get a fwb. I'm doing all this but with a girl who has a BF. Getting all the nice stuff without having to pay for shit

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>clearly feel more and more apathetic about more and more things
>don't want to do anything anymore
>most of the stuff that used to interest me I now care very little about or just don't care about at all anymore
>most of the stuff that felt fun and made me feel good are now bland and just don't do it for me anymore
anyone feel similar?
what has just lost its luster for you, anons?
21 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37677693
Yes. It's called depression op. Video games aren't as fun as they used to be, and that's all I've ever really enjoyed
>>
>>37677720
>Video games aren't as fun as they used to be, and that's all I've ever really enjoyed
same.
>Yes. It's called depression
is it actually?
>>
Depression isn't a meme, and it doesn't go away. No one will ever believe you, if they do they'll treat it like something they've seen a thousand times or try to outdepression you.

>>37677720
Video games have just gone downhill as a whole.

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Hey, SupremeGirl here, I am the Elliot Rodger fan that posts a lot about him on here. This post is different. I have been dealing with a lot lately with loneliness and depression. I feel very unhappy with life. I am wondering if anyone can give me some advice to be more positive and to help myself get out of this. Loneliness for me feels like torment.
98 posts and 12 images submitted.
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>>37677685
No problem lady. If your feeling lonely why don't you move on to randy stair?
>>
I am not into killers. I just feel for Elliot because I feel loneliness like he did
>>
Darn, I thought you were gonna say you were gonna go take one for the team and prove girls can do it too. Lame.

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I'm so lonely. I've literally never been cuddled before.
82 posts and 17 images submitted.
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>>37677602
Me either anon. Never cuddled. Never kissed. Turning 26 this year.
>>
I can't even imagine cuddling with a girl, is it just laying in bed together? It sounds really nice, I think I'd prefer it to sex, but I can't imagine ever having sex either.
>>
>>37677648
It's like a hug around her waist, from behind her, that doesn't end until you wake up or get hard.

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This is my oneitis. You have three (3) seconds to say something nice about her.
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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She looks like Miss Piggy.
>>
Her face is scuffed
>>
I want you to imagine your oneitis walking into a frat party and getting raw dogged successively by Chads. She asks them to wear condoms and they just laugh and spit in her face. She does nothing because she's having fun and likes being noticed by high value men.

Then I want you to imagine Chad sticking it up her butt while she yells in pain for him to stop. Chad slaps her, and tells her to bite the pillow. She obliges because pleasing Chad is more important than consent.

Consider the possibility that you will never have a comparable sexual experience with her.

Tell me how you feel.

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you can't actually solve this without going beyond the rules of the game
114 posts and 56 images submitted.
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This isn't hard though. I think you might just be retarded.
>>
>>37677473
not this shit again

origami
>>
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Pretty simple actually

how tall are you

5'0
43 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Originally??
6'2"
225lbs
>>
>>37677458
5'8

At least I live in a shithole where I feel above average.
>>
>>37677458
Between 5'11" and 6' but I tell people I'm 6' tall and never been questioned about it. It's not tall at all but I'm surrounded by spics and chinks so I feel like Hagrid in comparison.

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