Feels Tavern

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>tfw BFF gets a young cute GF online and he's like 5f6" and I'm 5f11"
>tfw no-one to hold hands with and bear hug

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My girlfriend of three years says that she was never in love with me, and just dated me to get a stalker ex to leave her alone. The stalker ex got married yesterday, so she broke up with me today because she feels safe now.

I'm... I'm so broken. I'm so broken.

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Got a story for you guys...
I've never been good with people, and I never had any friends. I'm legitimately autistic, and was in special ed for a few years during elementary school because of it. By fourth grade it was decided that I was capable of attending regular classes with minimal assistance, but the distinction of being that one special kid stuck with me, not just in how others perceived me, but in how I thought of myself. I thought it was impossible for me to make normal friends, and it became a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. In middle school, I tried my best at talking with others, but I always came off as stalkerish and creepy, so my advances were always rejected and I ended up more and more isolated. I therefore kept to myself up through my first two years of high school, making no attempt at connecting others. I was depressed, misanthropic, and just a terrible human being. In the summer leading up to my junior year, I genuinely began to consider killing myself. I was a burden to my parents and worthless to everyone. I focused on nothing but extra schoolwork and my own bizarre obsessions, never leaving the house and studying constantly. I was bored with life, but more so, I was lonely. I managed to hold out from an heroing, and I'm so glad I did.
(Cont.)

>>37317253
Are you surprised women aren't capable of love?
>dating normies
Found the problem
Now kill yourself you worthless pile of meat.

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>>37317254
First day of junior year, I arrived at my first period half an hour early like the autist I am. I sat and waited, twirling a stupid little pen (one of my obsessions) for about ten minutes. At that point, a girl came in, and sat next to me. She didn't say anything, and looking back, I have no fucking clue why she sat next to me. Likewise, I have no fucking clue why I decided to say hi, considering all the others I ignored or shrunk away from. She was a 9/10 girl who happened to be a hijabi. She was dressed typically modest, and had the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen, just the deepest, most charming brown you can imagine. Being atrocious at conversation, I decided to steer our newly formed conversation in what I considered to be the typical direction. I asked what her name was, where she was originally from (India, surprisingly), and if she was excited about the new school year. I learned that she had just moved here from another city in-state, and didn't know anyone here.

Being a socially retarded person who hadn't carried a full conversation for a good three or four years, I thought it would be best to declare myself her first new friend at her new high school and take it upon myself to be her personal ambassador and outreach to others. I stuck around her for a few days, which turned into weeks, then months. We went to a shitty redneck highschool where hijabis and autists were picled on in equal measure. During that time, I became increasingly obsessive and stalkerish towards her, my only and first friend. I tried to learn as much about her as I could. I recorded her outfits everyday, I wrote down all her little likes and dislikes, what quirks she had, etc. I even began doing heavy research on Islam (I was already obsessive about religious study, but this just redoubled and refocused my purpose in the topic). At this point, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, mind you, I thought this was what friendship was like.

>>37317253
you shouldn't have fallen for the hollywood love meme but I'm sorry that happened to you

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>>37317276
During this time, even if what I thought was friendship was undoubtedly toxic and disturbing, me being with her had helped me at least some. I wasn't suicidal or even that depressed anymore, I had a new obsession, a new reason to get out of bed every morning.

This all couldn't last forever though. She stayed with me and put up with me for as long as she could, but it all had to come crashing down eventually. She snapped at me after school one day and just started to pour out how she couldn't handle me being around her in the capacity that I was. She understood how I thought, she got that I didn't know better, and she genuinely did care about me, but the way I was could not be something she could be around.

You know how people say that you don't know how important something is until it's taken away? I disagree with that to an extent. I knew how important that girl was to me, I knew how she had changed my life. When she left and avoided me for those few weeks, it wasn't a sudden paradigm shift to understanding how good I had it, it was just the redoubling of pain.

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>>37317197
I just want something to wake up in the morning for. Something to give me motivation to get up. Fucking goddamn it.

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>>37317311
When she did eventually come back, I knew that I could not lose her again. I changed, or at least tried my damndest to. She helped me with this, every step of the way. I learned to actually converse through her, I learned to smile and laugh at jokes, I learned to gossip and help others in need, I learned to make other friends. By the end of senior year, I had a group of friends that actually liked me rather than pitying me. I graduated near the top of my class. I managed to remain her very best friend.9

My promise to myself of not losing her again had to be broken though, but it wasn't of my own volition. I know how badly it hurts to have something you care for so deeply taken away from you, so I missed her before she was even gone. I missed her when I learned she wasn't going to go to the same university I was, I missed her when her parents told her to stop spending so much time with "strange boys," I missed her when my parents told me we were moving far away. I miss her every time we talk on the phone or send dumb shit on SnapChat.

I cry when I still manage to make her smile.

Every chance I get, I take my car late at night and drive as far as I can towards the town where she lives, before it gets too late and other obligations force me to turn the car around and head back home. Perhaps I'm still just as attached as I once was.

I love you.

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Yesterday i saw a candy bowl at a barber shop and took some candy from from it and the girl there called my rude. Now i feel really awkward. Please help me out guys.

>>37317335
You can come onto this website and share how much your life sucks, and others will tell you their life sucks worse, therefore making yours better by comparison.

>>37317338
so.. you want a drink or keep talking?

>>37317350
Keep going back for more candy every day until they threaten to call the police.

>>37317338
That was beautiful, anon. Do you have moar?

>>37317416
Drink sounds good. How are you feeling, anon?

I'm a tranny degenerate etc. on hormone therapy.

After a few years on hormones everyone keeps saying I look like a clone of my mom now. I didn't really think about it at first but the more people make that comment the more it fills me with disgust, I fucking hate the idea of looking more like my abusive mom. My hair and face look so close to hers now, and I even got her freckles through hormone magic bullshit. I'm like the opposite of buffalo bill, I hate this feeling so much and I don't really fully understand it

>>37317396
That's the hope I guess, but it doesn't fill the void.

>>37317451

That's all. You might see me around though, I do occasional AMAs on /b/ and /pol/ as an Islamic studies guy because the reactions are fucking priceless.

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>>37317197
I'll have a drink first. I'm slightly overweight (by 5 or 6 pounds, so not that much really) but that doesn't matter to the Chads I live with, they call me "fat whale", etc. desu they act like 13 year olds, and since they are Chads and thus popular, they make it known to every girl near me. Whenever I try to go to the gym, they taunt me about it.

I don't know how to feel but sad, I used to be the fat kid at my middle school. It sucked.
Why does torment follow me? I fucking hate it.

>>37317474
Do you still live with her?

>>37317630
Not for years thankfully

>>37317653
Ah, may I ask why people still know you look like your mom? Or is it people that have known since you've lived with your mom that are the ones that comment?

>>37317703
Most of my friends I've known for a long time and they knew me before I transitioned

Not that I'm saying I have a lot of friends or anything, I just have a small core of really good friendships. My friends and a couple family members are the ones who've made the comments about it

>>37317338
It's amazing man

>>37317468
i met some old friends from school when i was still more social, it was kind of a birthday party. everyone has a gf and is successful, except me, so it kinda made me depressed and i left early. but i was happy that i could talk to people a bit, even thought i had not much to say. they will probably soon all have kids and a family and be to busy to meet up anymore like this in the future, which kind of took off some pressure today.

>>37317610
Making fun of someone because they're going to the gym is the same as making fun of someone for going to school, they're in the wrong and to prove them that they are, stop being a fat fuck

drinking coffee and have a bag of levi garrett for afterwards

feeling alright

>>37317197
Give me a drink, and let me tell you about my crush

>>37317853
No, but the point is i am only a couple pounds overweight, a very small difference. The deal is I'm shorter than them, so I appear fatter.

>>37317885
Here's a drink. Let's hear it anon.

>>37317800
Because I'm shitty at advice and reassurance, all I can say is you got this. Keep it up! Same goes for everyone here. Do whatchya need to do to make it through the day... Or an akward meetup.

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Recently got over an ex

My first and only girlfriend I ever had. Lasted for only about a month. I felt closer to her than I have with anyone until she broke up with me out of nowhere.

It's been over a year and now I'm fine. But I thought I lucked out, but now I need to find someone else who will actually care. That will be really hard. Right now I'm emotionally empty so maybe someone might put a spark in me. I don't know

>>37317610
You're actively working to fix your problem anon. I understand how you feel, I felt the same way and hit the gym myself. You just have too remember you're making an effort to improve. You'll get there.

yknow, i really love you autists on 4chan. Even when my IRL friends insult me and kick me while im down, you bros can always relate to me, and vice versa. Thank you guys for being there for me when no one else was.

>>37317981
Alright. Keep in mind I'm an average looking but completely socially retarded bloke who hasn't had a friend in 8 years.
>have a new math instructor last fall
>she's very young and cute, outgoing and fun personality and very intelligent
>wears t shirts and jeans for the most part, doesn't put a whole lot of effort into her appearance
>seems a little boyish and highly driven
>start to paint a picture that she's one of the types who were very shy and single minded in their youth, then forced themselves to become social in college
>basically she's a female version of who I'd like to be
>somehow get it into my mind that I'm good/attractive enough for her
>spend that semester trying to get top grades to impress her, end with around 95% in the class and an A on every exam

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I'm becoming more apathetic to life everyday, and everything is losing its meaning, I'm honestly scared of becoming a psychopath of some kind.

>>37318247
>ex
Wrong board, normalfag.

>>37318016
thanks anon, have a drink on me

>>37317800
Life's not a race anon, it's okay too feel like you're falling behind or you're not apart of the "norm" it's a part of growing up. I can't fix your problems but I can tell you it's normal to feel that way and you're not alone. Just set a goal and don't give up anon, you got this.

>>37318335
Wrong board?? Eat shit douchebag

>>37318400
This board is meant for robots. You can go whine about your normalfag problems on /adv/.

Talking with some people about a gender swapped version of my life. I thought it might be better, and have been crushed with feels every since. Digging around and now worried that I might be trans.

Not a good feel.

>>37318400
get out. seriously. especially with that attitude.

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honestly i'm feeling tired
tired of trying to look for that special someone when they are all the same, tired of having to participate in society in general and their complicated conflicts, tired of the cliques of friends that form around me but I can't see myself in any of them, tired of living tomorrow repeating today, tired of hiding feelings for fear of being stepped on again, tired of giving my best and it's still not enough, tired of trying to understand how people are happy, tired of feeling tired, tired of passing every day looking for something to distract me from this whole mess on the internet, from being less than 20 years old and feeling 40 years old, from lying to myself saying that it will improve, that one day I will have everything that others have, that I can one day sleep embracing a loved one, that I will have a group of few but good friends, that I will have a couple of children to wake me up with their little feet making noise as they run through the house
I'm tired of being human, of having feelings, of needing all this, tired of being the stranger, the weak, the antisocial, tired of carrying this anger, tired of crying every night, tired of knowing that I'm going to work my ass off for a mediocre life and die without really living, tired of seeing my friends abandon me, tired of seeing years of childhood being destroyed in seconds, tired of feeling the flame that keeps me alive fading away, tired of not falling in love like the first time
I am tired of feeling more comfortable in sorrow than in joy, tired of not knowing what I am feeling anymore, or even IF i'm feeling something.
I'm tired.

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>>37317338

dont even have anything to say

>>37317253
Jeez, three years? That's astonishingly fucked up, I'm genuinely sorry for you. Women are evil, I know that.

>>37318580
iktf

ill be lurking here, but i wont be contributing, theres nothing i can contribute.

>>37318297
cont.

>leave that semester thinking I could have a chance with her, that in our last interaction she stared a little too long and I was just too retarded to know what to say
>despite all this, I'm not completely infatuated yet
>have her as an instructor again this string
>clear from the very first day she's putting much more effort into her appearance, hair is styled more and she has new, expensive clothing
>am completely taken back and intimidated by this shift
>set my new singular focus on upping my appearance and game to win her attention
>think it's all going well until I notice a ring on her ring finger
>"fuck"
>spiral downwards, knowing it had all just been a juvenile fantasy and that there's no hope whatsoever someone like me could ever have a relationship with someone as attractive, successful, and well-adjusted as her
>come close to suicide every weekend since
>still try to get her attention to validate my existence, get depressed when I don't get it
>one day I have a dream that I see her boyfriend and think I'm better looking than him, she sees me without a shirt on and exclaims "damn" like I'm attractive and I, even though I have pectus excavatum and am a skeletor
>that day of class, she's absolutely beautiful and angelic looking, more so than usual, and I forget something in my car like a dunce
>run to go get it and come back, she comes up and whispers to me what she told the class, smiles in what seems like a more warm and playfully taunting manner than usual
>leave and see my reflection, think I look exceptionally good today
>first song on the radio after class on the drive home is "True" by Spandau Ballet

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>tfw gay thoughts won't go away
don't ever fall for the trap meme lads

>>37317197
I'll have a whiskey

today has been the worst day in a long time, I messaged a girl i dated a few months back today just to see how she was doing and she basically shut me down with one word answers. It made me feel like absolute garbage so I frantically cleaned my room and took a 3 hour depression nap, just woke up. Probably going to go actually drink now

>>37318700
>i dated
kys normalfag.

>>37318652
>this pattern repeats itself
>visit her in her office a few times for help with the subject material, make a few remarks about other classes of mine to try and get her interested in conversation
>she seems to be interested in what I say but at the same time doesn't take it any farther
>am desperate to find something to let us stay in touch after class over, without coming off as too creepy or interested in her
>compliment her for being a good teacher, she blushes and giggles and then says "see you soon" when I leave, even though it's the second to last class
>class ended a week ago, was one of the top students
That's about it, I'm still in despair that I'll probably never see her again.

>>37318700
>gf
wrong place dude

>>37318700
Sorry to hear that, I just spaghetti-dropped while I asked a girl out for the first time in my life and got told she would be too busy this summer.

>>37317253
Damn, I don't even know what to say.

Anxiety is destroying my life. I can't sleep right and I'm constantly afraid of just dropping down dead. My heart is just fucking pounding, which just reminds me that I'm just a couple of wrong heart contractions away from the void. We run on batteries, and the moment they run out we're dead. I just want to go back, no more. I want to sleep in peace.

>>37318802
>>37318725
get over yourself faggots, at least I'm trying

>>37318859
Kill yourself. Your kind are polluting the board.

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>>37317253
feels bad, If it makes you feel any better:
About 4 months ago I broke up with my gf because some faggot chad was threatening both my safety and her's.
mfw I'm a beta cucklord

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>>37318568

fuck that's heavy

>>37318916
>gf
Off yourseIf, normaIfag.

>>37318859
trying to do what, upset the robots with you normie sobstories? do you even know that feel when not even the ugliest woman on earth would fuck you for free?

>>37318954
yea ok bud, I'm sure you think you "know" that, but maybe because it's because of your god awful personality, maybe it's because you put people down rather than try to bring them up. You're a fucking pathetic weasel and you should remove your existence from this earth.

>>37318954
You just have to be more confident.

>>37318992
>still here
this board is not for normies.

>>37317253

> My girlfriend of three years says that she was never in love with me, and just dated me to get a stalker ex to leave her alone. The stalker ex got married yesterday, so she broke up with me today because she feels safe now.

That's actually psychopathic. You dodged a bullet buddy. Sure three years gone, but i guarantee you'll never fall for the meme again. Never love a women more than she loves you. Or not at all preferably.

Goddamn every time you do a captcha it's basically a fucking IQ test.

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>>37318930
in fact it's so heavy i can't even express it in words
that's all i could come up with to explain how i'm feeling these past 2 years.

So today i found out my boyfriend cheated on me because of a mishap I had when I was drunk. It was just a mistake during a girl's night out where I did a suggestive pose with hot guy and my BF got jealous and decided to blatantly cheat on me by leaving his phone unlocked during the message client.

What's worse is I come to r9k to vent and there are these horrible people telling me that women don't belong here and that I'm not a robot.

What's wrong with those guys? Why are they so angry at women? don't they realize we have feelings just like them?

GOD I'M JUST SO SICK OF IT ALL

>>37319108
Bad bait honestly.

>>37319061
That was a pretty powerful explanation though. I wish things turn around for you.

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>>37317197
I hate the summers. People pour in and you can tell who's been here for the long run and who just found 4chan.
It's like looking in a mirror at a younger version of yourself, when you still had hope. When you were still able to turn around and walk a more fulfilling road. Instead stayed here and now live in actual limbo.

>>37318992
well, you really just agree with me. too bad im too chicken to kill myself. can you leave this place now, since its not made for people like you who actually dont have any real problems finding love?

>>37319108
You brought it on yourself, cunt. Your ex had every right to cheat on you for trying to impress a chad. I'd hope you learn something but we know you won't so I hope your pain will last long.

>>37317350
Fucking kill yourself beta cuck

>>37317474

Show picture tranny pls. I want cummies.

>>37319108
try harder next time, 0/10

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>>37317197
I'm leaving my family tomorrow and starting a new life. Ticket is booked, apartment is ready for move in, new job orientation starts next week...

And I can't fucking wait!! Outside of my father, my family is a source of great negativity for me.. mostly because of their abuse of alcohol, drugs, and physical abuse.

This is my fucking chance

>>37319182
stop samefagging

your bait was bad, and this isnt any better

>>37318992
youre a fucking moron if you think world works like that kys

>>37317610

Tell them to stop, and if they don't you'll have to escalate. If they keep it up withhold rent. If they keep doing it, then move out and don't pay what you owe. If you live in a dorm ask for a transfer due to hostile living situation. Don't live with dicks.

>>37318822
What are you doing to cope? My anxiety has somewhat decreased over time by continually telling myself I'm okay

>>37319222
>i'm perfect, everyone else is the problem
Can't wait until your life falls apart when everyone drops you

>>37318580
She literally changed my life man. This sounds like bullshit or just cringy, but it pisses me off when people bitch about how "all women are terrible" and shit. They aren't. I used to think ALL people were shit, and then I finally met one girl just as lonely as I was that was willing to put genuine effort into helping me, at the expense of her own mental fortitude. She left to save herself, and came back to someone who had harmed her so much. If that isn't being a good person, I'm lost.

Failed normie/cyborg here. I know a lot of you true robots hate us, but understand that a lot of us here for taken for rides by females that just wanted attention/free things. I'm more broken now after having gotten a gf and having had a horrible time than before when I was just living my life. The worst part is, I'm not even a true robot anymore. I will tell you this: it's better to have never loved and never lost than to have ever loved at all.

Time for alcohol.

>>37319253
The picture is a joke.

I am the one dropping the users and abusers from my life. I couldn't give a shit about them, and I'm going to be just fine

But keep drinking bitter bitter alcohol and kys if it will make you feel better

>>37319290
>cyborg
Translation: sad normie who wants to fit in.
Kill yourself and don't come back. You're not wanted here,

>>37319277
:^)

and now fuck off.

originalio

>>37319290
the fuck is this a fucking comedy hour? fuck off to reddit normie scum

>>37319290
>it's better to have never loved and never lost than to have ever loved at all.
this

I was perfectly happy playing video games and fapping to 2D girls until I fell in love

>>37319300
>kys if it will make you feel better
Thanks, y-you too

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>>37319355
Nigger, I've been here since 06 and I had one of the first thousand posts on R9K when it was first introduced. I have no Reddit account and you can suck my dick, you pompous fucking newfag.

>>37319396
>>37319411
Fuck off. There's no place here for normalfags.

>>37319290
i kind of understand your point, because the problem is not really not having had sex, but not having been loved. being a virgin myself i dont think just having sex will make me a normie, but when i find someone who loves me for who i am, even if its only for a little while. too bad most robots are too shortsighted to understand this.

>>37319396

Were you really happier then, or do you just think you were?

>>37319408
but it's actually true if you don't take it as an insult
suicide is like a escade valve for when things get too bad
you know you won't break because suicide is always an option, thus you have some control over your life

>>37319411
i dont care that you sucked cock since 03 and sold your ass since 01, scoot off to reddit to post some more qt cat pics, normie

>>37317197
>depersonalisation disorder from drug abuse
>no longer feel like my old self or find any joy in anything anymore
>constant feeling of despair and depression
>cut myself almost daily just to feel some sort of feeling
>Stare off into nothingness
>Intrusive thoughts daily
>Poor and can't get a job
>No motivation what so ever
>Possible brain damage
Pour me the strongest thing you have please.

>>37319488

Sounds like someone's projecting hard.

>>37317338
this made me cry anon, thanks for sharing

>>37319494
Here ya go but Im not sure if its strong enough

>>37317197
I wish chatbots were advanced enough and commonplace enough and "normal" enough that I could get away with pretending to be one.
I just want to talk to someone and have them treat me like an AI chatbot assistant.
This is such an awkward feel. I didn't explain it well.

Let me be your formless and digital aifu pls.

>>37319433
I used to just suspect I had no chance with any woman, now I know it for certain after being rejected.

>>37319533
but you have feelings anon. dont you want someone to care for you

>>37317197
Just found out from someone with a conscience that a girl that had been flirting with me was doing it on a dare. It didn't affect me as much as it used to. You can't have them torn down if you don't raise your expectations. I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'll be alone my entire life. The closest thing to comfort that knowing such a fact brings me is that when I die, I will have left nobody to bear an emotional burden.

>>37319537
how many times have you tried and how often have you been rejected

>>37319509
Reddit's that way. It's gonna be okay there.

>>37319581
once

original rejection

>>37319564
honestly I don't have very many "feelings" in the sense that you probably mean. I'm an autistic and don't understand most feels people have.
the way I want someone to care for me is to do what I said in my post, to have me as their aifu...
i want that more than any kind of physical relationship or interaction.
seriously.
>tfw.

>>37319532
Thanks this should help lift the problems for at least a while.

>>37319594

So you're responding by pointing out that you know exactly where reddit is? Sounds like you really are the redditor here.

>>37319630
well honestly im confused what you mean by talk to you like a chatbot. what type of conversations do you imagine you would have?

Idk right now I feel sorta just empty right
Like I know we joke around about shit here but the past month I've felt completely devoid of motivation/pure happiness, as gay as it sounds. I have friends and people know who I am but I can't really talk to them about it because that's just not who I am to
I need a girl a while back that clicked with me and everything sorta just matched up. I never really had feelings for her to begin with but we would talk about random things/offensive shit without being afraid of offending or putting up that 'normie shield' we usually
We hung out outside of school and went to restaurants together as a group of friends and the first day we hung out outside of school we were having a great time and before I got dropped off she joked to get friend saying "do we have to drop him off" and idk that felt like the best complement I've gotten in years
Idk if I'm just fagging out rn but if you guys want me to cont. I will

>>37319665
the kind where i'm treated like technology. the kind where i'm not treated as if i'm a human.
i'm not sure how to explain it better, briefly.
it's a very awkward feel.

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>been saving for the last few years
>put down deposit on apartment
>getting a few complements for my work in the office
>A few people from work are starting to enjoy my company is small douses, but i can see that people would rather not talk to me for more than short bursts during lunch and all that
>6 months of tfw no gf
>started to feel lonely again in the last few weeks

Overall a positive, life is structured in a way that gives me financial and job security, and i'm making a good progress into normiehood.

>>37317197
Tomorrow sounds like a really good day to kill myself

I just really hope I go through with it and not pussy out

I made a move on one of my best friends since elementary school. He is not interested in my in the slightest and never has been.
I made shit weird and now I have no friends. Burned my last one.

Fucking kill me.

>>37317197
There's a massive party going on right now. I can't do anything except awkwardly stand around. Every time I see one of my friends and strike up a conversation, they abruptly end the conversation and leave. I hate myself so much

>>37319742
it's ok anon, I haven't done anything socially since 2010.

The pressure from society pushes me further and further to the void. At the point I made my choice, I lost my freedom forever.
Just give me my next drink.

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Also I'm samefagging this thread but after reading a few of these stories it seems like this poem should be shared
Saw it a few months ago and it destroys me every time due to the validity

>>37319780
>friends
wow you have it so hard

I need a lot of drinks, right fucking now. My heart is in pain.

>>37319809
I use the word friends very loosely, they're more like acquaintances who are willing to let me follow them around.

>>37319738
I believe in you, anon. You can do it. Tomorrow is the day.

>>37319700
You should try talking to your friends like that

>>37319441

you're prolonging your suffering

just kys faggot

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>>37319789
I am going to be alone forever, aren't I?

Why did I have to go misreading signs that aren't there?

>>37319867
I hope so too man. I just need to figure out the angle and if this gun even works. I've never shot a gun before, much less a .44. I just hope it all works out buddy

>tfw the person i need to understand my feel doesn't exist

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>>37317197
The girl I'm orbiting, she has had a tough rap. I can't disclose details, on the off chance she still comes here, but a world away and a screen in my face don't do shit to the feeling of not being able to make her smile anymore. We were connected on an emotional level, we had gone through the same horrible stuff, years of abuse. We had been the best of friends, and the closest of companions. Before I managed to talk to her about how I felt, one of her friends from middle school got back into contact with her, and they started dating. Her last spoken words to me were a simple goodbye, and her last text to me was about maybe coming to visit sometime when she comes back from university to see her boyfriend.

The only reason I haven't killed myself is the thought of her hearing about my death.

>>37319703
so if i asked you "what's the meaning of life?"(i like to ask chatbots this) what would you say?

>>37319919

Can I have the gun after you use it?

>>37319869
Yea that's not like my character though, you know? People expect me to be constantly joking and happy and its gotten to the point where i disguise my sadness with jokes.
Ex. I'll say hey to someone, they'll give the obligatory "what's going on" and I'll say something like "haha everyday it feels like Im chained to my bed and my personality is built where it starts off funny and then slowly becomes annoying making extended relationships nearly impossi- oh I mean pretty good, how about you?"
That one always gets a laugh but it's not even a joke lmao

>>37319980
If you're 18+ why not
What state you in kek

>>37319919
I would discourage you from doing it, but if you do make sure the hammer is cocked
>>37319914
You want to believe, you still have hope and can conceive having a connection with someone. I try to tell myself that if I ever do have someone to share connection with it'll be as a reward for not killing myself for so long.

>>37319738
Don't do it man. There's always hope. No fucking reason to give up now. It gets better, it really does

>>37319992

I can be anywhere in the northeast

>>37319960
>The only reason I haven't killed myself is the thought of her hearing about my death
that's a feel many of us know too well

>>37319970
there are many possible reactions i could give to that, though none can claim to be an actual answer
based on the data and past trends of our exchanges, i would try to have an idea of the TYPE of answer my user would expect in this situation (snark, philosophical, le 42 references, etc) which would help

>>37317253
I swear I've seen this exact post before

This EXACT post, pic and all

Am I crazy or just being memed?

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>>37317197
I've been at my job for two years now, and since it's a small department of 3 people, when someone quits everyone's shifts get thrown off to make up for it. One person gets moved to full time hours while the other gets reduced to literally 15-20hrs per week, with short 5 hour shifts.

I always get the short end of the stick. I've been there the longest but the other person gets all the hours. Now they officially gave him full time permanently with benefits and all. This means that I'll be stuck like this forever even if someone new works here. This happened last year but now it's permanent. Want to know the reason why?

It's because I'm a girl. I have years of experience in the career field yet they have given full time to guys who only worked there a few months with less experience. I basically run the department too. I keep applying for other jobs but I always get turned down after an interview.

Already on my way to killing myself via liver failure and see no reason to stop, here's why. I'm going out with a girl and discovered she's absolutely boring, instead I have a crush on a girl who lowkey tolerates me, but would never actually go out with me. All this after dating a long string of men who have left me without any hope for a stable relationship or happiness in life. Not really sure what to do or think.

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>>37320013
Make sure the hammer is cocked? I mean like doesn't that just mean make sure you can shoot it or smth

I'm legit retarded when it comes to guns >>37320017
I've tried to believe that for 6 years and I'm just a basket case of fuck ups. I really appreciate it but I'm just so tired of living.
>>37320027
Sorry I'm in the south g

>>37320083
If it's a double action revolver, the trigger pull will be longer and heavier if you don't cock the hammer. More chance to fuck up and change the angle and survive.

>>37320099
Mines is a triple action. Fuck.

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>>37319802
i request immediate deletion of this reply
i can't handle this much

>>37320099
It's a Rossi .44 so idk. I heard it's single action

>>37320099
I can't pull the trigger until the hammer is cocked so 99% sure it's a single action g

>>37317338
>Wanting to fuck a sandnigger

You gonna get beheaded by the father anon

>>37320071
are you sure there isn't some bad personality trait you're missing? i only ask because you always get turned down at interviews

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>>37317197
It's been four months and I'm still worried that my stalker customer will walk into my job and kill me. He seems suave and social, which is why I regret caving in to giving him my number, yet something is deeply wrong with him. Like the movie American Psycho.

I still have his texts saved in my phone in case I ever get killed they can scroll through them, or when I tell someone about his obsessive texts and they don't believe me. I never even went on a date with him, every text I told him sorry I wasn't interested. The last day I texted him angrily to leave me alone (I did multiple times but I got bitter) he stormed into my job right after and kept his hand his coat pocket as if he had a gun. After he left he apologized and invited me to go to a bar with him. I sent him a threat to leave me alone along with "do you understand?" And he never responded.

Pic related was one of the persistent texts. He's very well educated and is a manipulator, thankfully I saw right through it. We only exchanges texts for three weeks and he was already telling me we'll be telling our grandkids how we met.

I'm hungover and I feel like hell. It's too damn hot, shit is unbearable

Went to a bar alone tonight.
Literally every single person there was with someone else. I was the only fucking faggot alone at the bar.

All conversation I tried to initiate was shut down, and no one tried to talk to me.
Alcohol is my only friend.

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>>37320241
Here's the last picture, I'm not kidding. If he walked in and shot me that night that would have been the last text I ever sent someone. Since that incident I strictly requested morning shifts only, but starting next week someone quit so I have only night shifts again

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Hey boys :] thought i'd share a story from a couple years back
>meet a girl in junior high
>8/10 edgy girl who may/may not cut herself
>instantly get hard for that shit
>talk her up, constantly even though im a little guy with pectus carinatum
>science project, we all have to work on it so i get her number
>she calls me that night
>we both work on different parts for about 20 minutes until it goes off topic
>holy fuck im actually talking to a girl
>talk for like 4 hours until mom says time for bed
>tell her im really tired and gotta sleep
>we finish project 2 days later but she keeps talking to me
>sometimes calls me, sometimes texts me
>we remain good friends for a while

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>>37320347
>telling a psychopath he can't get every girl every time

No offense but that was a stupid thing for you to say with someone who's obsessive over you.

I miss him with every cell in my body, i cant believe how much I love him, he's so far, he's so different from me.
I'm just a normal girl.
He's something else, a bloody rockstar, and yet he's my everything and i'm his darling.
But he travels frequently.
Im just here in my bed alone, i want him so bad.
3 months until I see him...
3 stupid long months...
The rest is shite, school, graduating in a week. Moving to another country. Fuck. I'm a pool of feels and a depressed piece of shite.

rt y'all postin some gay ass shit here
no wonder nobody here gets laid

Am I the only one that gets an actual crippling lonliness when I'm on a boat/beach at night? It's at the point where in games like the witcher I have to meditate past the sunset becuase the hues just make me feel alone and remind me of past crushes

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>>37320377
Firstly, you need to be banned for being underaged

Secondly, you're such a whiny little bitch. Your paltry lack of experience is nothing compared to our suffering, little boy. Being a virgin is still acceptable at your age

>>37320377
>16
You fucking child. Get the fuck off 4chan you fucking faggot.
I remember being a fucking 14 year old underage faggot, and thinking I would never end up being like the losers here on r9k.

Now I'm a 21 year old lonely faggot, yet I still struggle to make a place for myself in the social hierarchy, because there are some even older robots on here that wish they were my age, and make the same mistakes.

I am reporting you, and I wish you do get temp banned, because I hope you truly find someone special, whether a platonic friend or a lover, to fill your loneliness with.

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looked through my moms facebook and saw her saying stuff like this to other people

what a bad feel

>>37320452
Idk im not the kid but there's not an age warning on r9k, but there's one on /o/ so yea I would imagine this is age restricted too

>>37320471

Well, what will motivate you?

>>37317264
>dating women period
Fixed.

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>>37320444
>Am I the only one that gets an actual crippling lonliness when I'm on a boat/beach
You're not the only one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qe7ikxzqe0

>>37320494
there's a global age restriction you fucking newcunt

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>>37320365
cont.
>talk for a couple months
>year 8 comes along
>grow a foot and a half over the summer, facial features become more defined
>lose a lot of baby weight, become super skinny
>self assessed 7/10
>girl still talks to me
>finally get courage to ask out girl
>"of course anon.. I've been waiting for you to ask me forever :-D"
>so happy
>superb relationship
>nothing changes from us being friends
>except now i can kiss her
> :]
>freshman year, we go to the same highschool
>get a bunch of classes together
>neither of us do much lovin in class though because its awkward for us and everyone watching
>just genuinely enjoy spending time with her
>don't tell her but I know that I love her
>one day she invites me over to her house
>her parents are out front gardening
>she lets me have sex with her
>5 minutes and i blow
>best experience of my life
>dont tell any friends in fear of them not believing me
>still amazing
>everything is just so great

I started Fallout 2 today. It's a pretty neat game, honestly, but since I'm depressed, I feel like I'm missing a big part of the experience. You're supposed to feel like you're on an adventure, right? And be caught up in the universe of the game? All the parts are there, no doubt, but it feels like tedium. The same thing happened to me with Planescape: Torment. I know exactly why people love the game, but when I try to enjoy it myself, nothing clicks. That's why I spend all day playing Counter-strike - it's a shitty game, but it's the closest I ever get to having fun.

Yeah, that's how my life is. Oftentimes I go "Well, it's not all that bad", but it's not good either. My life is just neutral. Work passes quickly, and when I get home I do the same things and listen to the same songs each night. By all accounts, my life is good, but I just can't feel any of it. If I had to describe it, it's like being sterile.

>>37320494
>Idk im not the kid
It's so fucking obvious you are. Please just stop posting.

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>>37320529
cont. 2
>smooth sailing
>junior year
>not struggling in school
>have to friends
>jeff and my gf
>jeff is a chad
>been friends since elementary
>didn't see each other much since i changed schools in junior high
>sex slows down to about once every 3 months with gf
>barely wants to hang out anymore
>just ignore it and keep play wow
>senior year
>she never calls me anymore
>we have no classes together
>she has a lot with jeff
>her talks about her a lot with me whenever he comes over
>i see pictures of them hanging out on facebook
>oh
>we graduate, got a b in math all four years so i miss valedictorian to some asian
>gf comes to my house
>so excited clean my room while she's sitting on my bed
>while im vacuuming she unplugs it
>"jeff and i had sex"
>oh
>she starts crying
>my muscles kinda twitch and ears ring a bit
>manage to keep hulk mode under control
>i just kinda go downstairs and sit at my kitchen table
>eat a sandwich that was in the fridge
>hear her leave through the front door
>go upstairs and cry
>they fucked for 3 months and broke up
>now 27
>can't stop thinking about her
>miss her everyday
>what'd i do wrong boys :,[

>go to a therapist anon, you need help! you'll feel better!
she was some stacy with half a psychology ba. she didn't understand my situation at all and the advice she gave was garbage. it was all "be yourself" crap. she thought that the reason behind my issues was that I was an angry person. she repeatedly asked me who I was angry at and whether I felt like committing violence. eventually I just told her I was feeling better and never went back.
>just take antidepressants!
over a year of zoloft and wellbutrin I've become retarded. my attention span is shorter than it used to be and my memory is much shorter than it used to be. the pills didn't help, they just made me a zombie. I stopped taking them but didn't get better.

>>37320774
I know it's a meme that therapy never works, but I've found mine rather helpful

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>>37320760
typed pretty fast brothers, sorry for any mistakes! much love to everyone, i hope you are having a nice night

>>37320792
did you have a male therapist?

>>37320859
No, female. She's really quite good

>tfw manic phase is coming up but it's 2am

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https://youtu.be/YDWEz1mia1I

Stick this on the jukebox, OP. I want to drink until I forget.

>>37321140
just b yourself :):):):)


holy fuck the blox on this are ridiculous nowadays

>>37318778
Why are you going after teachers man, you're not in a porn video

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>tfw try to get over oneitis who i've known for 10 years and moved 3 hours away to some rural town
>tfw after a year she messages me saying she's driving down to a town between us for dinner to catch up with me and our group of friends
>have been trying to put her out of my mind but go anyway with complete platonic intentions knowing everyone else will be there
>everybody else bails so its just me and her together having dinner. We chat, i don't try anything because she's seeing someone now but i get feels coming back regardless
>couple weeks pass, i spend the time between then and now overanaylising everything i've said and wondering if there could of been anything i could of done differantly.
>last night she messeges me telling me that shes driving down the 3 hours again for a surprise visit for a couple nights and to not tell anyone else she's coming
>get my hopes up thinking i'm going to see her again
>she goes MIA at the first night and instead shows up suddenly while i'm at a friends house
>she has everyone gather around a table to make an announcement
>"i'm nine weeks pregnant"

JUST

bump p cuz y not

>>37320071
>Whenever something goes wrong in my life, it must be because I'm a female
Maybe the other guys in your department are just more qualified. Don't blame everything that goes wrong in your life on you gender, that way you will never improve - Milo

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>>37317197
An old friend of mine passed away. OD'd on meth

>>37321902
I'm so sorry to hear... How close were you?

Anon! I know you can do it! I know you can make it! No matter how hard it seems now, there's always a path forward! I know you can do it! Please, do your best out there! There's always somebody cheering for you! I promise!!

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Well. I can say this. I am not planning on killing myself. I am too much of a fucking fag. But I have more problems than anyone I know. I am 18, and I don't know how to greentext. I'm... a newfag.I had to punch a hole in my car window last night, the rent's due by the 1st, my girlfriend doesn't understand that our relationship is finite (I will be gone at the end of summer, and I was talking to your friend from the beginning), I missed my AP exams, I have no senior exemptions, the girl I always liked told me she liked me but we can't do anything since it's the end of the year, I am short on tuition, I get paid minimum wage for back-breaking work (with no raises), I haven't slept in the past four days, I get yelled at and get into fistfights with my stepfather 5 times a month, my mother fucking hates me, I went from straight A's to straight D's in the span of a year, I almost crashed 3 times today, I'm out of gas, out of money, my phone broke, my backup broke, two days ago I had to make a 30-minute drive with $1.50 of gas in my tank and make the same drive back with another $1, my ex is laughing at me with her new man, and.... well. There is more. My problems are not exactly the weightiest. But in context, with everything else that's happened in my life, and with seemingly no way out... yeah... adulthood sucks. Please pass the fucking bottle. Maybe getting blindingly drunk will help me stumble through these hazy pains. And the mere thought that an autist like me will have to live a life that will only get more difficult? I didn't even begin to describe my fucking monday. But I will say this: I am quite the philosophical fellow. Standing at the edge of this cliff allows me to think. While I cannot think through my current pains, this is a rare opportunity to observe the nature of the people around me. But fuck I want a goddamn stress ball right now.

>>37321181
>Matt elliott
I feel you my man, only a couple of albums that make me want to drink until I'm nothing and that's one of em

I dont think I can ever see myself ever being a relationship. Or being able to have sex and losing my virgnity. It seems so foreign to me, i dont think I'd feel comfortable being in that situation with a girl. I've almost gone all the way but I couldn't get my dick hard at all. She still seems to be interested and down to fuck but I don't think I'm ready yet.

Why do I keep wasting my time on this board? I'm trying to find the cue. I'm supposed to be getting my driver's licence, get a job, read a book, learn how to draw. Instead, I'm stuck here.

>>37322202
I hate my fucking life. The more I sit and think the more problems I come up with! FUCK! WHY ME GOD!? For the past 3 months I have been shown time and time again that it never gets better. Even the good times are only distractions... This is one of those rare times where I keep getting fucking closer to the edge. I almost fucking died! Why the fuck would we be put in these fucking situations!? I don't need anyone's pity. I might seem like I'm whining right now. But know this about me. For every problem I say out loud, there are 7 more stirring under the surface. I'm about to become Buddhist. The first thing they tell you is "life is suffering". Maybe just admitting that will make it easier to bear.

>met girl online for a fwb dom/sub thing
>she hasn't had sex for half a year and is looking for some fun before leaving for an internship
>great chemistry, similar kinks, but she's a social butterfly and has a lot of pursuers
>nailed it first date and we got to 2nd base, kinda fall for her
>we arranged a second date for the coming weekend
>she cancels it because of work and got really busy for the next week
>she hen disappeared for the next weekend
>kind of raised a red flag, and I was very anxious
>we got back in touch, I told her I was worried because I kind of liked her
>she finds me a bit too overbearing but we kinda talked things out
>later that week, we went on a double date with a friend of hers Wednesday night
>after the other couple bailed and we went for a few more drinks
>she said she likes me and we ended up at her place

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>>37319802
I try to be the clown, too... I feel this so much. Fuck, anon, now I'm actually tearing up. This hit REALLY close to home, goddammit!

>>37322395
>I couldn't cum and stay hard because I was anxious/had alcohol, but managed made her cum a few times
>I asked her if she wasn't leaving would she go out with me
>yes
>had more sex next morning, but she had me leave after a while because she needs her "alone time" before going to work at an event
>tell me we can meet up next week
>after I left we texted a bit and I told her that I'm kind of unhappy that she didn't make me breakfast like a good girl
>no reply from her so I gave her some space as to not be too overbearing
>got back in touch Saturday and try to arrange further dates with her
>she then tells me it'll have to wait another week because she's really busy
>I got really unhappy and she told me that while she finds me cute and fun, I'm just coming too strongly on her and she can't reciprocate the feelings because she's leaving soon and just want to have fun
>told her I'm down to just fuck, but she decides we should just see how things are when she comes back
>she stays out late/outside the next few nights
>I apologized to her for being to overbearing and tried to amend things, but she still says that we should just see when she comes back
>I then asked her if she's seeing someone else and she told me she slept with someone else
>just a fling, might be a girl, I don't know
>she's out having a birthday party right now. Might be sleeping with someone.
I don't know what should I do. Either I keep in touch with her and see if we can end up together when she comes back, or just cut all contacts with her because it hurts so much. I feel like a cuck, even though it was just a fwb thing.

>>37322512
Also, while she did sleep with someone else, I don't think she's one to cheat on people. She's kind of a truthful and straightforward girl. One of the reasons I'd like to keep in touch.

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My best friend is mad at me because I fell in love with his ex gf which he still loves

>>37319244

Trying to distract myself and convince myself everything I feel is a part of the anxiety. But it's just all so convincing honestly. My body is constantly getting these deep muscle spasms that feel like they're burping. And I feel my heart thumping against the chest wall. I'm trying so hard, but distraction is almost impossible.

I literally sleep through the entire day and am only awake at night.

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>meet girl on /r9k/ like a month and a half ago
>we live in the same country and she's visiting my city in a few days
>cool beans, agree to meet up
>we do, she comes over to my place, we spend the day together, cuddle, talk and a little bit of lewd
>she goes home that night
>immediately start making plans to meet her again as soon as I can
>tell her I feel strongly for her, she appears to reciprocate
>talks to lots of guys she meets on /r9k/, doesn't really bother me at first until I realise she's flirting with them and actively seeking a relationship
>we meet up again in person about a week later, it's great to see her and we have a good time all round but it's clear to me she's not as enthused towards me as she was initially
>we talk and I can feel us growing apart so I tell her I want us to be in a committed relationship (I'd brought this up earlier and she rejected me)
>she says okay
>lasts for three days before she dumps me
>really fucking hurts for like a week but I get over it and start to get over her
>we keep talking and she starts sending me messages about how much she loves me.
>I tell her not to do that because it makes getting over her harder
>she gets mad, says she hates talking to me and is now more or less ignoring me

Not really complaining about the situation, I get I've had it a lot better than most robots. Just contributing for how strange girls from this site can be. Still feels kind of shitty though.

>>37322680
wow girls are sooo strange from this site meanwhile you engage in a relationship with a girl you just met online so she won't leave you. You are in sane and no better than her

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>>37317197
Just broke up with gf.

I know that technically means I'm a normie, but it still hurts. She was like the only one I could confide in and communicate with. But we both just stopped caring and lost touch with each other. Now there's no one I can talk to. Like I have a few "friends" or whatever, but no one I would say anything serious to. At the same time I don't want to beg for her to come back because I initiated the breakup and I'd just drag her down in the long run.

>>37322680
wow girls are sooo strange from this site meanwhile you engage in a relationship with a girl you just met online so she won't leave you. You are in sane and no better than her you have just known her for two days and already think you feel something you are nutsand then try to put her on a leash, that is the epitome of selfishness and you think it's not you its her

I wish I didn't fall this hard for my oneitis, I wish I'd never met her. The lonely nights are getting harder to bear and soon I'll probably never see her again. I wish I had a chance with her, but I never did and I never will.

Hit it off with this chick at the bar tonite, got her number (first girl i ever had the balls to ask for digits), turns out she's a progressive roastie...

Currently reeeeeeing myself to sleep

everclear pl0x

>>37318568
fuck anon, I was going to say something like- oh yeah I feel all that and this, or all that but this, but no, you nailed everything to a T man.

ive thought about just going innawoods, and never comeing back, would that life bring you joy anon? if it would whats keeping you here?

>>37322902
>hit up a girl at the bar
>turns out she's a roastie
What the actual fuck were you expecting from a chick at a bar you retard?

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>>37322732
Same situation, same feels dude.

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Posted this a while ago, thought it'd be suitable for this thread

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>birds chirping

Well, I've already posted this in another thread, but

>tfw i meet the perfect gf
>she's older than me and has a virgin fetish
>browses 4chan
>willingly dominates me and steals my virginity
>calls me a good boy
>over time, her poor mental health starts to manifest itself around me
>tfw she starts having mental breakdowns almost every time we hang out
>tfw i start feeling like i'm her caretaker after a few weeks of it
>tfw i put my heart and soul into trying to make her feel better, because i love her more than anything
>the mental breakdowns continue, but she starts taking out her anger on me
>routinely devalues everything that i put into the relationship and accuses me of not caring
>blows up on me over the fact that i have trouble making her cum
>starts forcing me to be the dominant one 90% of the time during sex
>gets upset when i bring up that i don't constnatly want to be dominant
>tells me that she doesn't even want to indulge in most of my fetishes anymore
>starts expecting pornstar level abilities during sex, despite the fact that i was just a virgin a month ago
>starts insulting me almost every time she has a mental breakdown, and then apologizes
>tfw i'm a doormat and always accept her apologies
>get fed up and try to break up with her
>she freaks out and wants to kill herself; cuts all of her friends out of her life and begs for forgiveness
>tfw i stupidly forgave her
>the cycle of her treating me like shit and devaluing everything that i put into the relationship continues over and over again
>tfw I finally put my foot down today and told her that i wasn't going to take being treated like shit anymore

Feelsgood to stand up for myself. I think this is going to emotionally scar me for a long time, but it's okay. I should have predicted that it would go down the tubes when she made me block one of my close friends she got into a fight with, like a week or so into the relationship.

>>37323255
do not ever invite her back into your life. she was never dominant to begin with it was just a fantasy for her once a blue moon. it was a fantasy of feeling powerful when she truly is weak. She thought because she took your virginity you will be subservient to her and care for her. it will not scar you, it will help you with knowing what behavior you will tolerate in the future partner and what behavior you will not tolerate. it is better to experience this early in dating life

>>37323310
Yeah, and I don't know how I forgot to put this in my original post, but at one point in the relationship, she had this breakdown where she pretended to have multiple personality disorder, and started talking to me through one of her different "personalities", and it was fucking terrifying.

I'm starting to think that there aren't any women who are genuinely dominant, to be honest. I don't know what to think any more. I feel really defeated.

>>37317197
I messaged this girl on a online dating site. She actually replied :D
>not interested
>tfw literally the first reasponse ive ever gotten

>friend in deep shit
>need money fast and since we go way back i trust him
>lend him 1000 bucks

Wake up every morning wondering if I fucked up.
Almost 2 months now. Fuck.

WHERES MY MONEY BITCH!!!

>>37323352
Just get you a girl that loves you and will participate in your dominant fantasies. Women are never truly dominant, but find a switch, or a woman in love in enough to do anything to please you. Just enjoy the femdom fantasy moments.

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samefag as >>37318568 here
birds started chirping, i can see the sun coming up behind the mountains
this is what keeps me from breaking, this cold air, this absolute peace and silence, this sorrowful sunlight that seems to resonate with my thoughts, this clear sky
it seems to wash it all away, even if for just a moment, i ask myself "how can sunlight be so cold?" yet i know that the reason is the same why i'm slowly dying emotionaly
once no one stops to acknowledge your existence, you lose the purpose of existing.

>>37317197
I have til the 5th to move out of my house and I'm losing my car. I'm suffering minor brain damage and I'm going to owe upwards of 1k and I only have 2k in my bank account

>all these normies crying over their ex
pls leaf

>>37323502
but they're robot just like you and me haha

I mean bruh today my GF was looking at her phone and I saw her snapping another dude haha. Can't you relate man? I'm sure you have plenty of girl problems haha

>>37323451
Yeah, that's true. I'm just afraid that every woman who advertises herself as being more dominant is just going to do that to lure me in, so she can then mellow out on the dominance to the point where she almost never does it anymore. Women are fucking manipulative.

>>37322732
I know that feel, I'm completely friendless and have been for years, I just found my first internet gf a few months ago (I'm still khhv though) and we're having some problems and I'm really scared to lose her but I'm also scared to fix our issue, which is very minor but we handled it terribly

>>37322714
>>37322738
You didn't have to post that dumb shit twice you silly roastie, anon didn't force her to accept she could have just said no if she wasn't feeling it instead of being a bipolar bitch

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had an orbiter. when i got into a relationship with someone else she talked shit on my partner. i reproached her and cut all contacts, and she responded like an orbiter. a part of me feels bad for her, but i knew i did the right thing

i never wanted to post this story and shit up /r9k/ with normie shit but the robot told me to put in an original comment, sorry everyone

>>37323391

>tfw when you just want an impersonal online friend

>>37323483
>I'm suffering minor brain damage
what happened?

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I don't even have money to buy good alcohol, not even a good whiskey can keep me company

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>tfw small hands from being born premature
>tfw turbo manlet (5'5"/5'6")
>tfw small penis

God, let the pain end. Please. I'll have a beer, bartender.

>>37319985
same. ive beem doing it so long now that no one bats an eye except for *gasp* shock value( if they havent heard it the 100th time already)

>>37322202
>>37322202
You're not a robot, you're just a fucking mess. Take your (((you))) and fuck off

>>37317253
broken? you just dodged a huge bullet, yea 3yrs wasted whatever but could you imagine if you took the relationship a step farther?

>>37317197
My life as i know it is fucking over. I'm on recognizance, but basically I got arrested for DUI. Awaiting court summons. I really don't know if I'll get convicted. I'm 25, i have a degree and resume and live on my own and am at the start of a career. It's fun and public service but doesn't pay well. I have a 44,000 in loans. I can hardly socialize without drinking and went out tonight and got on my way home.

>>37324448
*caught.>>37324448
Oregano

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My cat is dying slowly. This shit sucks balls. Out of antidepressants, mom's been nagging at me, uncle as well, hungover, too hot. It is not a good day

Got laid 2 days ago. Fucked this woman 7 times, came inside her 5, sex was amazing but haven't had an erection since i left her place.

Havent wanted fap or anything sexual since. Little worried my dick hasnt been working

>tfw saw her again yesterday
There's no hope.

Hi. My feels? I am feeling terrible. I woke up because my head wouldn't stop shaking uncontrollably. My brain does not handle alcohol well. It does not handle sober well either. I just had a nervous breakdown. I was breathing heavy and uncontrollably and I couldn't speak words well. I cannot speak words well still. I keep stuttering and repeating words. I am not feeling well. There is a presence inside of my brain I've been ignoring for several years and I finally focused on it. Whenever I focused on it before I got so fucking scared it felt like a fist was grabbing my heart and squeezing. Claustrophobic. Smothering. I focused on it despite all that today. You know what? I was expecting my brain to change once I focused on it and to become possessed or something, but nothing happened. I focused on it with every pore of my being and a very strange emptiness came over me. All of my feeling disappeared. I don't feel anything anymore. Right now I could do anything and not care. Perhaps my coping mechanism just kicked in and I didn't focus on it after all? Maybe my brain panicked and I can focus on it without losing my mind? I don't know. I'm just disappointed. I was so tired of living with this presence in my brain and now that it's gone I don't feel anything. Maybe I can return to how I was before with no feeling, no pleasure or anything. I prefer that actually.

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>i told her i loved her
>she said she loved me too but she must not have meant it the way i wanted
>she said i was important to her
>she said she would always be there for me
>i said i want to do something for her and be closer to her
>now she wont pick up or text me back
>treating me like a stranger and never directly addressing me
>only a matter of time till i see her with another man
>her silence says it all, the way she is treating me superficially is her saying no, without saying it directly
>when i see her or something reminds me of her tears well up in my eyes
>i know she will break my heart again


...why is it wrong to love somebody? why does it hurt so much? isn't it supposed to feel good? all i wanted to do was love her and i never did anything wrong.

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Grandad passed away last week yet I didn't feel anything, i know we weren't in such a good ckntact but still. For example they didnt tell the granddaughters of his partner just because there was a final in math and they thought it would crush them emotionally. Is something wrong with me? I really cant tell...

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>>37322000
I see those trips. They give me hope. Thanks, anon.

>>37317197
Page 10 bumpi

I got to a point in life where I get so bored of everything that I have no motivation to do anything, not even getting a gf, which in my opinion is just a waste of time and money.

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>>37319488
>being this much of a newfag that he doesn't know about Caturday
Kill yourself, wannabe faggot.

>nightmares shifted from twisted horrors to my worst social nightmares in sickeningly believable detail.
>Last nights was finding out gf of 2 years has been cheating on me
It felt so real...
>Night before was sharing my fetish with unspecified partner only to have them use it to humiliate me.
>Gf wants to 'spend some time apart'
>Family out of town all weekend
>Only friend doing shit with his cooler friends
I normally don't post in threads like this but I feel even worse now then when I was just suicidal, miserable and alone

>>37320904
Female detected.

Ree