Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6616. page

>>16586022

To cut a long story short, she developed a crush on this guy, and I found evidence that they were planning on cheating. She lied to me about quite a few things and maintained the lies for a long time. I caught her in them and she finally admitted it. We've had alot of talks, trying to work through this and move past it all. I have evidence and its abundantly clear that they haven't physically done anything, and that according to her she doesn't love him. We decided we needed to get out for a while so we spent the week together out of state, and this past week has been great. She was the first to comment that it felt like things were getting back to normal for us.

We returned to our individual homes on Friday, and I found out that evening that they met up at a gas station (in public), to talk about their feelings for each other. One of our agreements was that she was to cut all contact with him except work related stuff while at work. Yesterday while she was at work I sent her a message telling her that I want her to think long and hard about who she wants to be with and what she wants in life. I met her immediately after work and told her that I have more self respect than to keep dealing with this shit, and I deserve to be with someone who can actually communicate effectively so this never happens in the first place. I told her I wanted to know who it was going to be, me or him. She hesitated for a moment, then told me she couldn't be with me. I shrugged, and she said she wanted to talk about it. I told her there wasn't really anything to talk about, but she tried anyway. I quickly caught her in another lie and told her that. I told her that that exactly is why none of what we've been trying to do to fix this is having any effect, because she just can't be honest with me. I told her to get out of the car, and left without another word.

(cont.)

>>16586029

Later I got a text from her dad, that shit had hit the fan. When he found out originally that his daughter was messing around with a married guy behind my back, he fucking blew his lid and told her that if she didn't want to be with me that's alright, that's her choice. But a scumbag like that wouldn't be welcomed into their family, and if she made that choice he would more or less cut all ties with her. I think she thought he was bluffing, because immediately after I left she brought him around for her mom to meet him, since her mom and dad both hated him at this point and she was trying to convince them he wasn't a bad guy or something.

Her dad beat the ever loving fuck out of him.

I think it's finally hit her how big she fucked up, and she's regretting it. She's practically begging me to take her back, and I told her (in nicer terms) to fuck off. I've been talking with her dad through text for a while. While he loves his daughter, he's been on my side through all of this bullshit, and has told me before that she pretty much deserves this. I asked him about it, and he said they had a long talk and it seems like it's genuine. It's finally hit her how big of a mistake she made. I don't know what to believe, since before this happened, she was lying to me about it all until the very end.

>>16586033

I've been doing some thinking about it, and my idea is to talk to her about it today. I'm going to explain to her that she literally chose a crush she barely knew over our relationship, and that I can never forget that. Tell her that if she's being honest about this, she's got her work cut out for her. I'm going to have us take a week or so and have her come up with ideas on her own of what she feels our relationship needs to be fixed. Then we sit down and have a long, frank talk. This isn't going to be a kiss and makeup talk, because unless I'm 100% convinced then I'm just gonna cut my losses and block her from everything and move on. If she can convince me that she's actually putting effort in and kicking this guy to the curb, then I might be open to basically starting a new relationship with her, since it became so fucked before.

Is it alright to give so many chances? I've ended previous relationships a lot sooner over less than this, but honestly things had been so good before that I would never have thought in a million years she was capable of something like this. I know now that she's capable of something like this, but is it possible for it to have been a fluke? Or is there anything else I could or should be doing?
tl;dr: we were having some fixable relationship problems, found out my girlfriend developed a crush on a guy she barely knew, lied to me about it, decided she wanted to try a relationship with him, then almost immediately after found out the relationship was over and she might have finally realized she fucked up. When is it worth trying to work out, or just moving on?

>>16585996
Wut? If you and her both don't want kids, what's the problem? What advice do you want?

I can't speak for everyone but I know that I do not want kids. I know I know I know "B-B-BUT YOU SHOULD GIVE SOMEONE THE SAME CHANCE YOU HAD". Fuck that, I don't want an ungrateful brat for 18-20 years sucking up my time, energy, and money. I see young fathers and mothers at my job and they look miserable.

>>16586007
Both families ignoring you as time goes on. Is it worth it?

Where should I move after graduating as a production engineer? I currently reside in northern europe and I'm tired of sandniggers ( mudslimes) and knowing that the government is keeping making life impossible to live here with taxes and bullshit.

Do you think it is wise to pretend to be wise?
Don't you have anything better to do with your life?

>>16585893
Seconding this one

>Is there anything care wise I could be doing that I might of been neglecting
obviously, you're hell on cords.
Just don't use your laptop while it's plugged in.

>>16585808
>don't use your laptop while it's plugged in
Why not, what's the problem with that?

>>16585808
My graphics card only works properly when my laptop is plugged in because the battery can't safely supply it with enough power to work properly

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Faggot

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>tfw no gf

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>>16585907

>>16585693
If you're not passable mtf and have terrible social skills, then being your "true" self at work isn't the right call. Just dress up as a guy and don't add attention to yourself.

>>16585699
I don't pass as a guy, either. It's obvious I'm taking hormones.

>I've been breaking out for some reason
some reason?
>It's obvious I'm taking hormones.

>>16585686
How about striving and living for success just because you want to live better for yourself and fuck anyone who has or will oppose you. That whole living to see people I hate squirm shit is so fucking tired. It makes you into sore winner aka a spiteful little cunt whose just as bitter as a sore loser and no better than them. Turn that rage and spite into something positive. Make it work for you, not the other way around.

>>16585716
Yeah agreed. Op, ppl who do shit for spite or go see others squirm, everybody hates. Everybody can see the insecurity, self worthlessness, and desperation. Its easy to spot.

Let go of the rage and live to be happy.

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>>16585716
This is fine advice.

There's a reason why the ancient maxim "Living well is the best revenge" has endured throughout the ages.

Speaking personally, I attended my 20th high school reunion a few years ago. I wasn't bullied or anything, but I'm doing well for myself- 2 kids, beautiful Brazilian wife, great job, plenty of money... and when I reconnected with some folks from my home town, it was depressing. Many were divorced, seemed unhappy, had ended up as 'townies' with not much going for them, not even a strong familial network.
It seems to me that the only way to really be happy is to pull youself up, rather than pushing other people down. Call that karma if you want.
In the short term, use your dislike for this person as PART of your motivation to succeed, but recognize that you will only do well if you try to make yourself happier, rather than making others sad.
BUT, if, in the process, you live well and they don't, that's a bonus. Fact is, soon as your out of sight you'll mostly be out of mind, but if your name does come up and you're doing well... well, you'll have your revenge. But you'll be too busy being the person you always wanted to be to truly care so much about that.

Although it's possible that this is an extremely cruel joke, it's alarming enough when used by multiple people that it definitely merits further looking into.

At first glance, I would guess that people saying this means you give off an image of someone who has a lot of trouble getting a date, blames women in general for this problem, and is extremely bitter about it. Does this sound accurate?

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>>16585666
>devil trips
OP confirmed for mass murdering supreme gentleman. Watch out normies, he's coming for you

>>16585683
No this not like me at all, the only thing in common I have with him is the fact I'm a virgin at 19.

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>>16585657
this is bait

>>16585660
Not bait, I'm just ridiculously inexperienced.

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>>16585657
no, there's nothing wrong with that. I think. I personally wouldn't even mind being called tootsie bun.
...IF I HAD A GF ;_;

>>16585574
yeah nothing wrong with that

dress how you want OP. follow yr dreams.

>graphic tshirt
sure, that's how boys under 17 dress.

Sure, do it. Be sure you can beat the shit out of him tough, if you can't then just ruin his life by telling shit about him and making sure the rumors spread : that'll weaken him.

I am sorry to hear what happened to you. But I do not think that beating him up would be a good idea.

Find him if you must, but instead of beating him up, press charges. Seek out other victims -there are probably many- and come forward en masse. This will be difficult and embarrassing, but no more than having to explain why you beat him up would be, AND you won't go to jail for it. But he might, and if that happens, he will get far worse than you could bring yourself to do to him.

>>16585568
Have you ever thought about reporting it? Depending on where you live, you may still be able to.

I feel your pain and I'm sorry for what happened. I was raped as a child too.

>>16585508
I wiuldn't worry about it too much, OP. Chances are slim you got anything but a blow job and some sex. Relax a little.

>>16585521

I wish I could, but the past couple of days have felt like one long, drawn out panic attack

Anyone?

>>16585369
>be like sherlock
are you a 13-year-old cumberbitch or what

Obsessively try to insert new vocabulary into your speech and invert your sentences.
Intelligent people will see you as an idiot though.

>>16585369
>sherlock
>wise
Pick one.
>Stuff you can learn to impress others
Wrong motivation IMO.
>eg.speed reading,learning to memorise stuff quickly(would like tips on these).
https://www.google.com
>Basically anything and everything u wish u had learned when u had time.
Pick one and apply yourself.

I don't know how I should come off when I first see him, if I should be cold and straight up "I'm not your friend, I'm (just hear for my sister)" or to just be normal while also distant. I want to let him know that we're not cool. I know if I go around there he'll talk to me like a friend and I don't know how to respond. We got along fine before he showed us all his real colours and eventually went to jail.

>>16585368
Be hones and upfront. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you care for her and that you DGAF about him.

>>16585396
Yeah, she'll reply that they have a child together and he'll always be in her life in one way or another. I know this, if I act like a cunt to him to him straight up it will just be awkward as fuck.

paypal me the cash then kill yourself.
Seriously tho don't do it. Things will get better.

No, it's enough to buy something fun to do though that would make you not want to kill yourself. Like a fun trip.

>>16585249
Buy bitcoin.
Watch it appreciate and buy drugs from deep web.