Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4760. page

>>17331047
men have been wondering this for hundreds of years
you'll learn the same way they did
the hard way
by fucking up a hundred times until you find a girl who likes you so much she doesn't care how shit you are at talking to girls

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>>17331047
> Why is opposite sex socialization not taught in schools?
That's what YouTube is for.

Seriously, this is not hard stuff. You get a million in the bank, you get a Lexus, you get laid. What's the problem?

>>17331047
Because school system is rigid and adapts slowly to such social issues while the problem in this scale is recent and largely unstudied one.


Even as little as 10 years ago socializing was a thing that just happens. Everyone competent enough to put food to his table would be socializing a lot naturally. Be it in school, during hobbies or general life. But all that has changed really quickly over the past couple of years here.

When I was in middle school we did everything in class, group works were common and attendance was mandatory. When I wanted to talk to my friends I would ride a bike to their place, if I wanted entertainment I would ask my friends to come to movie with me or maybe go to their place to play some games. Even video games were played either in hotseat or with several controllers.

If I want to talk to my friends today I will use a phone, you can do most of your school work in the computer from your home and video games are played over the internet with faceless people.

When my parents were working they would have to go to a work place to earn money, when they go to the store they would talk to people who were familiar in their village.

I work from my home in the internet, I live in a faceless city with faceless people too where interaction is discouraged as any time invested is lost in the sea of people you might never meet again.

Women and men had less options because the amount of people they could realistically know and compare the opposite sex to was very low.
Today you can instantly compare other people to literally millions trough dating apps, mass media or social networks.


Simply put the availability of choice on men for women is turning society back towards 1 man for 5 woman standard found in many animals. For men technology allows you to get trough life without meeting a lot of women (or people in general) resulting in lower social skills across the board which again dissuades women from picking outside of the top 20%

I have no fucking idea. Go to all of those stores and ask for help. Good luck.

Nobody is going to be able to tell if you go to Walmart or Target, the quality and design aren't really that different.

If you usually wear pants and haven't worn a swimsuit in a while, watch out for thigh chafing if you don't have a thigh gap. I made that mistake when I went to the beach last week in polyester swim shorts.

>>17331030
>swimsuit
>SEARS
are you 40?
Victoria's Secret/Pink has cute ones for under 100. If you're really looking to save forever21 and H&M usually have matching bikini sets. If you're really into Macy's/Sears type stores target has way cuter ones meant for slimmer and younger women.

>>17331024
You smell like ass.

>>17331062
Can anyone confirm this?

I thought oil build up was a result of overwashing and scalp dryness

>>17331062
Not true, at least not for me...

>>17330994
First off, what are your hobbies? I'm guessing some combination of vidya, comics, or anime but some specifics would be nice. Regardless though this seems like a petty thing for her to concern herself with.

Fashion is a more reasonable complaint. Maybe ask her for some tips.

Sounds like a healthy relationship.

Being socially retarded, fake/super mainstream, or trying too hard to be different/popular/interesting
Idk about cringey hobbies. I guess MLP, religious bullshit, sonic the hedgehog, and Boy Scouts?

>>17330954

unfortunately a great deal of motivation is instrinsic. you have it or you dont. we can give tips or tricks but its up to you to implement those little tips and tricks. and if ur too lazy to stick with the gym, chances are you are too lazy to stick with much else.

but assuming you have some here you go.

you gotta decide if ur cutting or bulking. most people bulk first, cut later. considering you were once more muscular, id imagine the muscles still there just covered in fat. so if i were you id work out to work those muscles, but also cut in the diet.

take one of your meals a day, and switch it out for veggies. you'd be surprised how many calories that cuts out. one meal. you still get your delicious dinner, but if you had a lunch that was like 500 or more calories, its now much less. have half a tablespoon of butter (50 calories) and as many veggies as you like, steamed, no olive oil or any of that. just veggies and butter. its delicious. asparagus and greenbeans and spinach is the best mix imo.

after that, replace the fucking soda with water. i know boo hoo you're addicted, but there is no trick to this. ask whoever you live with to not let you drink soda. dont have it in the house. dont buy it. just stay the fuck away. drinks are an easy way to cut calories cuz you can just have water but you still get your delicious meals.

if you live alone, its up to you kiddo. some people will suggest nasty ass water mixes that give it flavor, but i think just having cold fresh water is the best way.

>>17330986

take a look at what your junk food is, and simply cuti t in half. would you normally eat six cookies? eat three. follow up with some strawberries. would you normally eat two poptarts for breakfast? cut one out, and eat a banana instead. the only dessert you need to avoid at all cost is ice cream. way too many calories

instead, get your favorite berries, and ONE spoonful of cold greek vanilla yogurt. youd be surprise how much you can spread one spoonful across. think of your yogury as a 'syrup'. its not the main course. it should be less than your fruit. just something to add flavor.

goes great with grapes imo.


im currently in the process of losing weight and im also experimenting with the low carb diet bit. i cut out bread and pasta. ill still have carbs when its a rare treat like a dessert, but im experimenting with the claims to see if it helps. im not fat by any means but im starting to put on weight so well see.

Lmao, are you me OP? I do this shit all the time, it's pretty fun and girls seem to like it too. I've been doing it for years though holy shit. I don't think that'll change unless I have a relationship irl.

>>17330943
At this point go cold turkey. Give your modem (and smartphone maybe) to a person you trust for a weekend. Work through what you feel and why you go to ERP.

Is it loneliness? Are you dissatisfied? Do you use it to cope?

I dis this too, a lot. I feel like my ERP addiction is because of lack of self respect and too much time. I've also noticed I tend to do more masochistic and depraving things when my own life is a mess.

I deleted all my accounts that allowed me to ERP and cut contact with roleplayers. Now I'm posting shit like this on 4chan instead, but one step at a time.... I've downloaded self-disciplinary apps, I got 7 goals I need to do each day. Which basically is get up early, take a walk, eat breakfast, work for at least 3–4 hours, etc.

>>17330919
You're a fucking kid.
Get out of your relationship.
If you can't be with the other guy, find someone else.

Open yourself to Christ.

Attend church services(Protestant churches with an appropriate life group for your age range is the best way to start if you've never been to church or followed Christ).

Pray to God for comfort and guidance.

>>17330919
sounds like a fucked situation. you're gonna get your ass blasted by the rest so let's skip that and get to the good stuff

i'm assuming you actually want to solve your problems rather than just leave them be and unfortunately you can't do that if you're dead so suicide is off the list. sucks to face your fuck ups huh?

here's my proposal:
-drop both guys
-do not run away, manage finances with original guy and keep going to class
-apologize for your actions and cope with the fallout by either going to therapy or practicing self-help

>>17330904

what you are essentially asking is

>am i required to fall in love with any girl who shows me interest?

the answer is no. you are not required. love isn't just 'well you're objectively good' otherwise women would settle all the fucking time.

love and romance is about chemistry. attraction is part of that, personality is too, but there is an intrinsic unknown quality... almost like literal chemistry. just the way you two react to one another

i met a girl. she was my type. flawless adorable features, curly hair, amazing fucking ass and boobs, submissive in and out of the bedroom. literally whatever i wanted to do she was fine with and always down to try new things as long as it was wtih me. lived right down the street so it was convenient but was understanding when i said i needed time to do my own thing. i couldnt imagine a more perfect girl.

and yet i felt zilch for her. we had amazing sex and she did all the dirty stuff i wanted in all the right ways, but there was no emotional connection for me. i feel bad cuz i know she felt it for me. trying to use swim trunks i left at her place as an excuse to talk again.


but id much rather chase a much less attractive much weirder much harder to talk to foreign girl who lives an hour away just because there is that chemistry there. that thrill.

you want to be with someone that you are thrilled to see, at least at first.

>>17330904
>Is this normal?
Yes, for Chad Thundercock

>>17330929
>>17330904
But is it wrong to prefer the girl who might not inspire passion but provides a more stable relationship? Seems like that would be the smarter choice in the end.

>>17330899
Why did you post this here instead of texting your friend.

Are you a bot or just retarded

>>17330899

sounds to me like you are experiencing stress because you know you are growing up.

in early highschool you could spend your whole summer sitting aorund in your room just playing vide ogames with your best friend.

and it'd be the best summer evar. now im guessing you're a senior or even in college and are aware that the sun is setting on your childhood and you feel more pressure to make these last moments count. you're doing what you've always done but its not enough.

are you broke? are you boring? if your answer is no, then invest your money in something fun and invite your friends. if they are boring they'll still go if they are broke they are SOL.

what do you want to do if your friends werent broke or boring?

>>17330910
I just finished my first year of college, I was in a bad relationship so I didn't socialize much. I made one friend.

>the sun is setting on your childhood and you feel more pressure to make these last moments count. you're doing what you've always done but its not enough.

Kinda. I'm also kinda stressed that I may of set my career path on something that I may be simply "growing out of" on my way to adulthood (I took programming because of my love of vidya).

But yeah, I feel like I'm wasting my time, I want to be out making the most of this time I have but it's proving difficult. I live in a small town that doesn't have much for a 20 year old to do, I didn't make very many friends in college (college is a 45 minute drive away) so I don't get very many plans with people to get up there and do things.

On the rare occasion I do go out I have very bad anxiety. It make's it impossible to meet new people and I'm noticing it's effect on me in other areas of my life too.

I really hope my love for these things don't disappear though (then again, when I was busy with college work the rare time I got to sit down and game was very fulfilling so maybe it's just the fact it's all I've been doing).

My relationship with my friends aren't the same anymore. I see my best friend on a daily basis nowadays (he doesn't have a job rn and his girlfriends counseling a camp), But some of my friends, it's different now and thinking about it makes me absolutely miserable.

This is without a doubt the most stressful time of my life and I'm not properly equipped to deal with it,

Cont,

>>17330888
your dude's cool with it so stop worrying about it.

doesn't matter what we think. you feel like you made a mistake and learned from it, can anyone ask for anything more?

>>17330923
You're right anon, thanks, I appreciate it

>>17330888
I'd be pissed if my girlfriend was cybering dudes online.

I'd be more pissed if the dudes she cybered online were sending her dick pics.

He's probably a cuck, maybe you should mention how it's bigger than his dick

>>17330881
You should be asking her.

>>17330881
>I feel like im thrusting into her wrong or my dick isn't sliding in and out of her enough or something.

>he actually thinks penetration will give a girl an orgasm

eat her out you pussy
or at least learn how to rub her clit correctly

not all girls have orgasms from penetration

have you tried asking her what she likes?

>>17330871

>this website sucks
>surely other websites would have different kinds of people
>fuck reddit tho

ur choices are tumblr, reddit, 4chan, or a more specialized forum.

>>17330871
What are you looking for exactly? What keeps you in here?

>>17330893
I honestly don't even know why I am here anymore. I go through phases where I browse a board a lot, then I transition to another board. Right now I have been on /pol/ a lot lately and its been an absolute shit show. I'm also not entirely sure what I'm looking for. I guess a website that won't punish me for having an unpopular opinion would be a nice start.

>>17330790

How the hell could anyone take rejection other than negatively?

She had a crush on you and got her heart broken. Give her time to get over it. Perhaps she will, perhaps she won't. At least give her some time, but if you don't hear from her at all and it bugs you, you can eventually ask if you guys are alright.

Even tho you didn't, she might have taken it as "I don't feel attracted to you because you're ugly".

>>17330807
Well, she is overweight. Otherwise she could be decent looking.

>>17330773
>>>/int/

>>17330773
I'm a Pole, and let me tell you brother, there are moments when I feel similarly about my country, but then I remember it's my motherland.

What I think about Russians? Given our historical past it's hard for me to be objective. My grandfather, who was captured and forced into tsar's army, used to say that one Russian is a golden man, but a pack of Russians is no better than a pack of feral dogs. I'm sure loads of things have changed since. What I suppose is a prevalent stereotype regarding Russians (beside drink and steal thing), is the notion that they are usually poorly eductated, put blind faith into their leaders, and most of them have low culture and a tendency to violence.

Alas, many people think alike about polish folks; I suppose we are perceived as rather shitty nationality.

Anyway, I find russian culture - literature, art, folk music - very interesting. I love your language and I'm trying to study it, for the sake of pleasure, if nothing else. I don't know any Russian on a more intimate level than a casual acquaintance, so it's hard for me to say anything else beside that: what I have observed at the university, Russian exchange students are hard-working and serious about studying, rather timid and tend to keep to themselves, but thank god, they know how to party too.

Also, try reading Polish literature: at some point it was pretty much all about tragic martyrdom and god's will.

>>17330833
thanks for the contribution man. Any specific suggestions about Polish literature? I find the idea of believing in fate extremely displeasing, and would like to understand more how a country or a population can come to that.

Regarding Polish people: I grew up in Italy, so I don't know if I'm objective because Poland is very far from us so we don't get a lot of immigration, which would surely lower our perception of immigrants (most of the time, poorer people immigrate, and they are less desirable and pleasant to hang out with).
I think quite highly of Polish people. A lot of them had a strong belief in God (I am an atheist, but I respect their fervor and passion). Also, the Polish guys and girls I've met were all fairly happy and smiling (a feature Russians don't have), and very kind-hearted. I'd say for me they're much above average. Just thought to share this thought to show you that not everyone thinks that Poland is a shitty country. But this is my Italian culture speaking mostly. As I am not very acquainted with my Russian heritage, it's difficult for me to use that one to judge Polish people.

op here. i've considered getting back on adhd medication, mindfulness meditation, cleaning, going out with friends. I always come back here

>>17330727
Uh...you sound really manic and hyper... Are you bi polar by any chance? Anyways, just stay away from that girl for your own good and just chill out. Drink a beer and paint a picture.

>>17330895
I've never really suspected that. I'm hyper because I'm kind of scared of my future i think