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I need some advice and this is one of the few places I know where to go for it.
So my gf is polyamorous while I am not and because her feelings for others had been bothering her for a while I decided to let her date others but I don't actually really feel comfortable with it. It hurts to see someone I loved for so long and who actually helped build me up and love me go on and love someone else. And my thoughts and emotions are having a fun time with jealousy and anxiety.
One reoccurring thought in my head is "She's not yours anymore and you shouldn't be doing the things you did with her anymore" and with that I guess I haven't been trying to do anything sexual with her and I feel a bit sad and try not to do anything too romantic with her and I don't because I feel like she's not mine and that I don't deserve to be with her. Another thought is "You're just a glorified friend" and one other is "She's replacing you". I feel that if I don't do romantic or sexual things she's going to just replace me but I already do feel replaced. I love her a lot and I'm afraid my emotions and thoughts are going to make me push myself away from her.
I don't want to seem controlling or anything like that and I certainly don't want to fuck it up or abuse her but I just don't really like knowing that the one I love is out with another person or persons. It hurts so much and I know that we're probably really incompatible but I want so desperately to make things work. I also feel like my thoughts and feelings are taking quite a toll on my emotional health and self esteem. I feel like a selfish monster for wanting her to myself and I feel like I'm so undeserving of her love. I should be happy because I have her and I'm still in a relationship with her but I just can't be knowing and feeling like she's not mine.
Many have told me that we should break up and many have called me a cuck but I just really want advice on how I can make things work.
What can I do?
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>>17331640
Paragraphs, motherfucker, paragraphs.
This is the absolute worst board to ask questions about anything concerning a non-monogamous relationship.
This board is populated with:
1. A bunch of wounded, angry males who feel a lot of anxiety over self-percieved shortcomings in their romantic life and sex life, and who are boiling with venom in an attempt to conceal it.
2. A bunch of insecure virgin males who feel a lot of anxiety about being virgins in a world where their worth feels tied to their sexual prowess, and who are eager to put down others for being sexual failures on some way so as to draw attention away from themselves.
3. Trolls pretending to be 1. or 2.
4. A smattering of helpful people.
Go ask another board. Here you will only get flamed and flayed by pinheads.
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if it doesnt give you dignity then dont do it.
she wont change for you.
dont willingly lead yourself into a life of unhappiness and shame
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>>17331676
Not really. His last thread had genuine advice from a lot of people, but he doesn't want to leave her.
They just seem fundamentally incompatible. He can't change her, and I doubt he can force his feelings/values to change. That will only lead to failure.
OP, the only way to possibly go about this is to sit down with her and tell her all of this honestly. Tell her everything here that you've told us. And then you both have to try and find a compromise that leaves both of you happy.
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My partner wanks at least twice a day everyday. This has been going on for the two years I've been with him. More recently, he hasn't been able to stay hard or come when we fuck and fool around etc. This means close to all sexual activities I try with him that are in any way spontaneous end with 'I'm sorry I already came twice today' and a promise that he won't wank tomorrow to be ready (ruining the allure of 'spontaneous'). Is this normal fucking behaviour for guys? I really want to tear into him about it but I'm an absolute pussy when it comes to conflict. It's pretty much already started to ruin this relationship so I'm open to everyone's ideas on how to deal with this shit.
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>>17331601
I read something very similar to this except it ended with the boyfriend breaking up with his girlfriend because she was a fat lazy fuck who couldn't bother getting in shape and that was a major turn-off for him so he just stopped fucking her.
So OP (and not that I'm trying to put you down or anything, but) are you a fat and lazy fuck who has recently become totally undesirable to your partner? Is there a reason you can think of as to why he would rather jerk it than fuck you?
>Is this normal fucking behaviour for guys?
I've heard of men who are in comfortable relationships with their female partner but sometimes they just prefer their own hand for a quickie than having to actually fuck another human being. It's the convenience and comfort of it all.
>It's pretty much already started to ruin this relationship so I'm open to everyone's ideas on how to deal with this shit.
have you tried talking with your partner about it
how about mandating that the two of you have absolutely no sexy-times and absolutely NO MASTURBATING FOR THE BOTH OF YOU for a full week?
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If he considers fapping better than sex with you then that's a problem that needs to be addressed
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>>17331610
I'm pretty much the opposite of a fat lazy fuck, luckily. I run every day (something he says he'll always do with me but never does) and whatever I want in my current stage of life I usually work my ass off to get. He's always saying how sexy and gorgeous I am. I don't think the problem is me physically, though my attitude about sex now is a little snarky due to all this.
I honestly think he may be one of those people and for awhile I was content with it. Now I'm not. He's shown me he wants to have sex sometimes but it's almost like he can't stop himself from jacking off. I'm competing with his right hand.
Whenever I try talking about it with him he just promises he won't masturbate again until we have sex. Then, since I'm usually incredibly pissed after all this, I don't have sex with him. Then he usually wanks because I don't want to have sex. I think that no masturbating for a week thing might help, or at least show him that I have a problem with all this. It'll give him a date at least to hold his word to.
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My friend went to AX and grabbed me this picture. In order to ensure it did not get damaged it was rolled up and put into a poster tube. What do I do to properly hang it?
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In the trash
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Acquire poster frame
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>>17331580
>anime
kill yourself
I think I damaged my sexuality with drugs and fucked up porn. How can I restore myself to healthy sexual expression
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Join a kink community. Go down that rabbit hole
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>>17331548
Go clean, from both hard drugs and all porn. If you can stay totally clean for a few months, your psyche should more or less reset itself in that regard.
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>>17331554
I've tried, but I know that this degrading sexual malaise I've found myself in isn't really me. I don't want to hurt and degrade myself anymore, and I'm tired of feeling guilt and shame about myself.
>>17331557
I've tried, but it's difficult to reign in my sexual urges. I need someway to overcome these desires in a healthy way
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Oh shit, /adv/.
About 72 hours ago, I got into a fender bender. Accidentally lightly backed into a car larger than mine (a pickup or a suv).
I panicked for a minute, and split, went home. After kicking myself for acting like a retard, I called the insurance company the next day and reported that my car had been hit overnight.
It's been three days or so since the accident. I went back to the restaurant where it happened yesterday, and they said they didn't know a thing about it. Considering that, I'm not sure the other guy filed a report with the cops, but there's no way to be sure.
So, it's been three days. What're the odds the cops will still get to me?
>pic related isn't my car, but mine has similar damage
>I think the other car had less damage than mine, just a dented bumper
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self-bump, because I have really bad anxiety issues and need some kind of peace of mind
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You deserve this anxiety for being a little bitch and not doing the right thing
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>>17331546
Can someone just tell me what the likelihood of the cops showing up at this point is?
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Last Friday I lost my voice at work. I continued the day the best I could and went to the doctor Saturday taking the day off. I was diagnosed with laryngitis and given 20mg of prednisone 2x a day for 5 days. I had a cold which was a contributing factor. I went back to work Sunday even though my voice wasn't better because we're short staffed. I am off every Monday and Tuesday and tried to rest my voice the best I could. Monday I consumed 2 pints of beer.
I returned to work today and the more I started speaking the worse my voice got and I left at noon. My job is literally non stop talking and I can't do it without speaking. I got a refill of prednisone and I will be taking 3 20mg pills for 7 days.
I've been drinking lots of water and having green tea and honey and lots of cough drops since it started. I am addicted to caffeine so I've been drinking some sodas too, which I know is bad. Is there anything else I can do to shorten this? I really cannot take too many more days off of work, I feel terrible even though they understand and can hear how bad my voice is.
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I still have a cough and congestion and have been taking dayquil/nyquil 3x a day as well as flonaise.
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>>17331515
>how can I shorten this problem
>refuses to rest his voice
I think we can see what's going wrong here
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>>17331527
I can't take multiple days off work to heal my voice, that's not really an option. I work on comission, if I don't sell I don't get paid. I'm using paid sick days now to suppliment this bullshit.
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What will you do if you saw random girl try to suicide
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Join her
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Inquisitor Pegasus (ID: !!x+2ClEYC7KK)
2016-07-06 22:15:02
Post No.17331525
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>>17331507
Tell her that it would be extremely painful
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Ask for sex before she jumps. If she refuses, wait for her body to wash up
Taxidermy is easier than most people thinl
I've been mentally ill since seven years, currently in my 20s.
I've simply lost all motivation, and I feel less and less for every passing year. I've even been to the phsyc-place (live-in), twice.
Both lasting for a few months. First time, I tried to kill myself, ended up on the ER - then forced to that place.
Second time was "willingly", as I felt how I do now.
Difference - I don't feel like going anymore.
There's no point to it. I've recieved all sorts of treatments, from drugs to electroconvulsive therapy, didn't help. More so, I feel like a real vegetable.
I have a huge distrust for the people there in general, and some doesn't even seem to care. It's just their job.
I'm not feeling depressed because of anything currently in my life. I have a good life.
It's just my retarded illnesses fucking with me, and they will continue to do so for the rest of my life.
I just feel so... Tired. Can I keep this up? I don't want to.
Nothing in life feels rewarding anymore. Why should I go through so much pain, without gain?
A part of me wants help. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm sick of it.
Perhaps I should start with illegal drugs, since I'm already eating pills like snacks, which doesn't seem to help.
I just want it to go away.
>Help.
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You need a night at a good restaurant. You're probably just down because you don't eat much/haven't eaten today
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>>17331544
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This is probably a shitty advice but for me, the best thing was to accept it as a game rule. Started being cynical, hating on people and generally trolling around. I could either kill myself or go on doing useless shit, it will end one day either way
Anonymous
Waiting for her to call back 2016-07-06 21:55:07 Post No.17331465
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Waiting for her to call back 2016-07-06 21:55:07 Post No.17331465
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Waiting for her to call back
Anonymous
2016-07-06 21:55:07
Post No. 17331465
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Talked to a girl. We hit t off well. She's smiling and laughing. I ask her to hang out sometime. She says yes, offers her number.
I text, no response.
I call, no response.
Wait a few hours.
Call one more time, leave a message saying "hi, - call me when you're available."
It's been a few days and she hasn't called back.
What do?
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wait more
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She met someone or was just fucking with you.
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>>17331465
Remove the number, that won't go anywhere or at the very least the ball is on her end.
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Let's say your father is a teacher and he's fucking his former student, ~35 years younger than him (and 3 years younger than you). He is divorced with your mom. How would you behave?
No, I'm not a student sleeping with former teacher. Not yet.
BTW. Sorry for my terrible English.
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Why would it bother you? Maybe he's happy with her. Do you know how she behaves or what her personality is? Or maybe they where lonly and hit it off.
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I'm really curious about this story. Tell it, op.
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Don't be jealous anon.
Let your papa get inside those sweet sugar walls and leave nothing but the nuts hanging out.
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Hey /adv/, any polylinguals here?
I am fluent in Spanish and English, but as I'll be a political science major and wanting to be involved with politics, what are some good languages to learn? Italian looks very easy, but I feel it wouldn't be as important as Russian or Ukranian.
Also, do you guys have tips for learning more than one language at a time?
Thank you.
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Mandarin and Arabic. Russian looks to be more attractive these days, too. Maybe Farsi.
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I would avoid taking two languages that are similar on at once. When I was learning french and spanish I would often find myself using french words when speaking spanish and vice versa. Luckily I was still understood most of the time.
I'd look into Russian, Arabic and Mandarin.
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>>17331961
I'll highly consider Mandarin, but likely, it'll be Russian. Arabic is far too complicated for me currently
Do you have any experience with those?
>>17331971
I agree, but I notice there are a lot of words that look the same in the Romantic languages
Anonymous
help motivate me to do yoga and clean and stuff 2016-07-06 21:38:40 Post No.17331398
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help motivate me to do yoga and clean and stuff 2016-07-06 21:38:40 Post No.17331398
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help motivate me to do yoga and clean and stuff
Anonymous
2016-07-06 21:38:40
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please
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WTB that fedora oneitis pillow?
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>>17331402
yes please!
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I asked here at 4chan about motivation and the answer was: you've got it the other way around, you start with something so small taht you don't really need any motivation and you use the good feeling of progress as motivation to do more
I'm looking to apply for a part-time librarian in my college. I don't even have any expeirences from working at library. Has anyone ever work for your college library? If so what was the experience? How good is the payment?
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The pay is going to be lousy. There are a lot of college students willing to work for very little money, and colleges take advantage of that.
It sounds like fun, though.
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You don't necessarily need previous experience working in a library, you just need to show that you can do the job
Asking how much it pays is stupid, obviously it's going to vary from school to school and you should check at yours.
And is there even a vacancy available?
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I just want to do it so I can bang hot college chicks
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I'm really fucking stressed right now.
I've got a shit tonne of work to do.
but every time I try to do anything I get chest pains.
I'm exhausted and either can't get to sleep or can't stop falling asleep.
Every day I get so little done which means I'm falling further behind and then more stress.
Deadlines are looming.
I want to get work done but I keep having meltdowns when I push myself.
What can I do to get work done?
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I'm going to the doctor tomorrow see if I can get some drugs or something.
I tried therapy before for anxiety and shit but this is a whole different color of shit.
It's been going on all year, getting worse and worse.
I thought it was getting better a couple of weeks ago, but then I took the weekend off to relax and that just let me see how fucked I was, when on Monday I got back to work and it was like I was punched in the chest.
No build up, just instantly back to pain and panic.
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Anyone?
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I've never been this stressed.
My undergrad wasn't this bad, work was never this bad.
Im male 28, i was born with a hideous birthmark on the side of my face, ive since had it lasered off and have a normal face now
as you can imagine, this birthmark destroyed my confidence growing up and made dating hard, really hard, i didnt have a real date till i was 24
ive only dated a few girls and it hasnt gone well, i have no idea what im doing and i have no experiance
some freinds told me that its normal to kiss at the end of a first date so on my next date i just went in and stole a kiss from her at the end of the night, it felt weird and wrong, she didnt call back
and on another date a girl invited me up to her room, i thought holy shit this might happen, i ended up giving her a back massage and i unhooked her bra, i tried to "go for it" but she said no so i immediately backed off i actually had a few more dates with her but it never went anywhere
i feel so awful about doing things these girls didn't want
how do you know if its okay to try and advance physically
i want to just ask "hey can i kiss you" but that just sounds so wimpy and not the kind of thing that women seem to like
please help me
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bump spider
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>>17331343
Does there a scar where the laser removal?
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>>17331390
nope its all cleared, i actually look ok now