Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4276. page

Whats the comment.

Plus its not plagerizing if you include a source.

Why would you even risk it? If they catch you you're super fucked, not worth it

>>17442603
You can reword it. What is the context and comment?

Find something you enjoy doing then even if its a little hobby on the side just to occupy time, you don't need similarities to strike conversation with people, its a matter of asking the right questions about a topic, giving the other person to give you more than a yes or no answer and tossing the conversation back to you, focusing on them and asking them questions will make them feel comfortable with you, you want to know more about them "oh they must care about me"

You have a lot to deal with right now (very sorry to hear of your mother's condition) but you also mentioned you have had these issues in the past. Strongly advise you talking with Physician and/or school psychology service (in all colleges and they are free - stress management/student services). You could be depressed with mild social anxiety. There are many forms of depression. Depression isn't like the movies or TV (thinking about suicide/crying/no joy/laughter all the time) it is also about feeling numb, lacking interests, self doubt, being unable to maintain focus or drive. You might also have un-diagnosed neurological issues as well that is at a sub clinical or barely clinical level - and with life issues on top of it - is making functioning at your best difficult right now. Things like ADD etc.. that effect executive functioning (EF). EF has to do with completing task/goals, emotional regulation and internal/external motivation. Medications can help with this (along with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT = thinking about your thinking rewires neuro networks to form better/breaking old behaviour patterns - always should be included with medication) - nothing so hardcore they turn you in to a zombie, but help with motivation/focus and/or mild/moderate depression/anxiety. Talk with MD or NP or school services and just get evaluated - they can't make you take anything or do anything you do not want to. There may be trail and error - if medication does not improve situation after 3-5 weeks, maybe need different med/different diagnosis. ADD, Depression, Anxiety, tier One ASD, Sleep issues etc... all have very similar symptoms (and you can have one or more - they are common comorbidities) and if you are sub clinical or barely clinical it takes observation over time to figure out. You can not take care of others unless you are taking care of yourself. Best Wishes and I sincerely hope you go talk with someone for any thing but to help you with your mom.

>>17442677

Ill keep this in mind, but its unlikely that It will happen, there's no such thing in my college (I am not from the united states tho).

Basically has anyone dealt with something similar. How do I let go of this setback?

Perfectionism is a hard habit to get rid of OP. There's always that work you've done that makes you say "it could've been better this way" but time, resources, and the situation didn't allow you to make it happen that way.

>>17442527
God I know tha I feel.
OP you're overwhelmed but you don't need a permanent break to these problems. Don't judge yourself by failures. you can do this, you aren't only the result of your circumstances. Choose more. Be more

>>17442527

Hi OP,

Certainly do not do anything of the sort. I know the feeling you have because I have had it too. I know it is intense and very real and in no way would I ever think to downplay it.

But you will move past this. Oftentimes it takes effort, but it is definitely worth it. I say this because the same happened to me but for medicine. I screwed up my GPA with a semester that aggressively ruined everything. I got two Ds and an F and ended up with a GPA of 3.6 when I had been at 4.0 basically my entire life until then. I couldn't tell my family because the expectations were so high, and I didn't really have any real friends to tell it to.

But despite that semester and the clinical depression I suffered following it I am happy now. I am in a grad program at a top school doing medical research and love what I am doing. I am 22 now, and that time in my life feels so long ago even though it's only been 2 years.

Essentially, there's a beautiful life ahead of you. I'm not going to lie to you and say it'll come immediately, but it will come. You will know love and other aspects of life that matter more than school. Despite not getting into med school, I have gotten my GPA up and will try again. I personally suggest mindfulness and meditation. It sounds dumb to many people, but it gives you an amazing perspective on life. Also, I would try find someone you can pour your heart out to and openly cry infront of. These things work wonders, believe me.

Wish you all the best

>>17442527

>Just an 18 years old here who no longer have faith or motivation to keep on living

Seek therapy. I'm telling you right now that if you're feeling this at 18 years old you're nowhere near prepared to deal with the bullshit that is your adult life.

You're 18, you haven't even begun to understand what an exhausting experience life can be. I'm in my early 40's and I wish more than anything I could go back and just deal with all the shit I did when I was 18. When I was 18 every thing that happened to me was the most important, life changing thing that ever happened and now that I look back I laugh at how seriously I took everything.

But seriously, if you're considering suicide, go to a therapist. Life has so much more ups and downs to give you and if you don't have the tools to deal with it now your only option is to go to talk to someone who can give them to you.

All of them.

I'm serious.

>>17442523
What exactly do you mean? That none of them hold any particular advantage over the others? Surely one of them might have a larger user base or potential commissioner base. Or maybe some of them frown upon business being conducted on their website? That is why I am here.

>>17442569

I think they are saying that starting out you want to get maximum exposure. The more places you share your work, the more people read it and show it to others, the more people begin to seek you out.

Then either establish in your profile or personal website that you are available for commissioning.

>>17442269
You can't make her like you.
You are kinda creepy hitting on a girl, not getting the hint then carrying on messaging her.
Her not opening your messages is a hint.
If you have never had a girlfriend, that should be the clue that your method of approaching women isn't working.

It doesn't matter if she has never had a boyfriend, she isn't in the same boat as you and she doesn't have any obligation to take you seriously outside of being someone who can't take a hint.

>>17442283
wow...i never thought about like that. I mean i really like this chick. hmm well then. you have a really good point anon...thanks ig

>>17442290
>I mean i really like this chick
Irrelevant.
Women won't like you because you really have a crush on them.
Women won't like you because you compliment them.
Women won't like you because you talk to them or message them a lot.
Women won't like you because you think they are beautiful.
Women won't like you because they are equally inexperienced.

You come across as creepy.
You know barely anything about the girl, but you claim that she is amazing, she told you that what you said was weird, but you carried on anyway.
Be upset about my advice if you want, but being upset helps nothing.

Accept that she isn't interested, move on and try to hone your social skills.
Get a job working part time in customer service if you want to talk to a lot of people.
Join a hobby club if you want to be exposed to the same people with similar interests.
You need to work on your social skills and understanding, you come across as a social retard, but unlike being retarded, it can be fixed.
Good luck OP, you will need it.

>>17442164
Be happy you have a fucking girlfriend

>>17442164
Post her titties and I'll have my guy take care of her for you

>>17443053
Such idiotic and backwards thinking

Talk about it and see if it can't be worked out, stay vigilant and if she doesn't come around save up or borrow money to move out.
Girls ain't shit man there are millions of them and a lot of them aren't worth your stress

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I'm not sure Anon... How do I get a QT Knives Chau? I don't even have an Asian fetish yet she really does it for me.

>>17442310

>you should only be into asians if you have a fetish

this is why women dont like you anon.

can I post?

I just took the last pills they would give me and went to another doctor. Things were fine for the most part, the pain was unbearable at times, but I managed to move away for college to San Antonio. Such a beautiful city in a certain light. I majored in Psych and in a bit of irony, did volunteer work preventing suicides on a hotline. I tried my best. Some I helped and some I didn't. Some would call and I'd be in so much pain that I know I wasn't at my best. I know I could have helped more if it wasn't for my damn back. Those I wasn't able to help haunt me, but the others send emails of a wedding or a new child. That always put a smile on my face.

During this time in college it was rough, but I could manage to hang out with my friends on good days. Even met a girl, every good story has to have a girl. Then however every story has to have the point where things go bad. I took a fall down a large staircase I should have never been on. I was stubborn about using elevators. The pain from the fall was terrible and soon it spiraled into me having to leave college. I begin taking long-distance courses from home. The pain kept getting worse, my gal couldn't take it. She didn't sign up to take care of medical disaster like me. With guilt all over her face, she grabbed her things and left, refusing to even say a word. I wish that I hadn't made her miserable. I hope she found happiness elsewhere.

Now for the kicker as if that already wasn't. I had to change insurances and my current doc isn't on the new one. I had to go in search of a new pain management doctor. Suddenly they wont take me. Some rude lady over the phone talking a mile a minute and trying to shove me off the call as fast as possible says I've been reported to the FDA for seeing to many doctors and getting multiple prescriptions some time a year ago. Thing is, all the doctors were at the same practice, they just always had me see whoever was available at the time. Should be an easy mess to clean up, just gotta call the right people and get the paperwork to the right places.

Thing is, I can't wait. I'm staring at a weeks worth of painkillers, a literal countdown to my death. I'm not as strong as I use to be. I can't go off them again. The pain is simply to much. I am an invalid without them, just a ball of writhing pain on a bed unable to even be coherent enough to watch television or go to the bathroom. I just can't do it. There is no where for me to go. Apparently because of this FDA thing I can't even go to an emergency room to get more. I don't know of any dealers to get it illegally, nor would I even know how to go about that.

My ship as sailed. I'm floating adrift in the ocean staring at the last of my rations. I know screaming for help is pointless, but at this point anything I do is pointless. So take this as a warning I guess, live your life to the fullest and all that poetic crap I can't manage to do at the moment. Respect that you have some control over the direction of your life, you never know when you'll lose that paddle.

>>17442011
>just not like Texas
must have been an injury from a fall or one of the fights
That's pretty Texan to me.

>those I helped send pictures
In my experience they have just tried to tether me to the ground and get me back on the computer until tomorrow morning or some shit. It's about five thousand miles from something I'd send them letters for. What did you do differently on the phone?

>I'm running out of pain killers. I know how to get prescribed more months ahead, but I only have weeks worth of pain killers.
This might be stupid advice, but if you are in truly terrible pain and out of medication, an emergency room should help. They say they don't give benzodiazapines out, but I went in there needing them and they gave them to me.

Would they just give you a day's worth and then leave it up to you?

Threatening suicide works for a lot of things. I threatened suicide to get adequate mental health treatment. I upgraded from practically fucking nothing to mid-top tier as long as I kept saying I would off myself.

Sorry to tell you to take desperate routes. I know nothing about pain management. I'm just a guy on 4chan.

>>17442007
DRUGSSSSSS

and porn doesn't ruin your brain ... just stop watching it and go fcking out and train your body too not only the brain

>>17442023
well yeah duh....
But there must be exercices out there, both physically and mentally

>>17442032
look up "lower brain age"

>>17441892
Get a friend or family member to teach you, or pay for lessons from a driving school. A combination of both is best, pay for some lessons and go out with your dad/older bro a few times a week.

The first step is to not be underaged b&

>>17441892
by driving?

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Bump

>>17441736
No, it isnt bad at all to leave a temp job. That is exactly what is expected out of those positions. Just make sure you give notice quitting your temp job the second you hear back from the job you truly want.

Furthermore no one will ever look down on your resume for trading up, so long as you dont quit that kush job in two weeks too.

>>17441866
The job I'm waiting on is the millenial dream.
>entry level (no experience)
>benefits
>good pay
>good hours/work environment
>tons of room for movement, be it upwards or lateral

I plan to stay here for as long as I can. Once I here back from the other job how long should I wait before taking off?

Put yourself out there, you're probably a naturally reserved/solitary person and realising that might help you understand why you never keep significant social ties with people.

Personally, I felt like I was being overly desperate when I asked other people to hang out or if I asked to be part of things, I assumed that if I was liked then I would just be invited anyway, turns out real life doesn't work like that and I'm not super cool so I have to make the effort.

>>17441709
>putting myself out there
I suppose I should. It just feels like when you're put into a new setting, if you fuck up in the beginning - that's it. There's just no way to bounce back once people already have an opinion about you. Or at least it's extremely difficult.

>asking people to hang out instead of waiting to be invited
Absolutely agreed with you here, and I can think of a great example of this.
I started a new job some months ago. There was obviously some initial awkwardness when I started, but I didn't make any effort to get through it. I just said fuck it and now my coworkers think I'm a dick.

A good looking girl started at the same company a few weeks after me. She went through the same initial awkwardness as I did, but she actually made an effort to get through it. And now she's actually friends with most people in the office, they actually like her.She got pretty much no special attention, not more than me anyways, it was just that she actually made an effort to get to know people, instead of just giving up like I did.

>>17441801

Yeah, well you''ll be suprised how quickly people will forgive you if you make them laugh and go out of your way to be a nice person to be around.

They might give you shit about not doing it sooner but you can tell them you've had a rough family life or something that got you down, fact of the matter is your social skills are shit but not in the way you think they are, you''ll say to yourself youre socially inept but if you make an effort you'll realise that socialising is actually hard fucking work to get right, although it can alleviate things like loneliness.

I spent up until the age of 23 almost all my life struggling to be "part of the crowd" and felt totally worthless when I was sidelined without thinking I did or said anything to cause it. My wakeup call was realising that it was the fact I didn't say anything that caused me to isolate myself, that and I also have picked up some pretty bad habits like not seeing things from other peoples perspectives because im so wrapped up in my own head all the time, but thats a personal issue I have.

People are actually quite interesting to talk to, I remind myself that socialising is a skill just like riding a bike or writing an essay and if you slack on it you'll lose your edge and be rusty at it, so its okay to feel awkwawrd at first.

>>17441676
no you fucking idiot. don't get your dog high.

I genuinely hope this is bait.

then kill yourself already you dumb faggot

>>17441671
Calm down,ippolit.
Youll learn soon that the world is so much more than you can even ask for.

>>17441671
become masochistic and learn to thrive in the pain, don't like physically self harm yourself but feel the warmth of the depression learn to love it, dwell in it, feel sorry for yourself.
It sounds crazy but it works. See yourself as a martyr. Just don't tell anyone you do it or you will seem like a dick.