Existence is a pain for me. Even the notion of breathing and being aware that I'm alive makes me miserable.
Everyone doesn't seem to get it that death would make me genuinely happy.
Worse is that I put on this stupid "reach your goals and limits before dying" standard which kept me from killing myself. I was suppose to be dead around December 2012 or 2013 January.
I was so happy when I set that death timer for myself and then I instantly went into a deep, heart-racing depression when I noticed that I'm still going to have to live for another 60 years.
It's not a normal suicide. I'm not doing it out of bitterness like the rest.. I genuinely want to just die already out of happiness. I'm so jealous of everyone around me dying except me.
then kill yourself already you dumb faggot
>>17441671
Calm down,ippolit.
Youll learn soon that the world is so much more than you can even ask for.
>>17441671
become masochistic and learn to thrive in the pain, don't like physically self harm yourself but feel the warmth of the depression learn to love it, dwell in it, feel sorry for yourself.
It sounds crazy but it works. See yourself as a martyr. Just don't tell anyone you do it or you will seem like a dick.