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Well my relationship is at a standstill right now.
My girlfriend had this guy friend who began dropping his drama onto her. She's always had this issue where when it comes to people who are down-and-out, she would be unable to tell them "no" and felt this sort of obligation to try and help them. The problem being that this has led to people taking advantage of her in the past -- particularly men.
So when this guy showed up, I felt defensive and tried to talk her out of it. I thought he was simply trying to dupe her and get into her pants. But she spent the first half of the year trying to "be there for him." No matter how much I requested otherwise. Some of the stuff I heard happening with him did not make me feel better. Like the parts where he would break down crying; sometimes on her shoulder. Or that he was facing homelessness at the time. Or that his dad dying of a stroke, and his sister in a car crash.
For whatever reason, I rolled my eyes upon hearing those sob stories. I just didn't buy it because what honest-to-God man would let this shit get to him so much? It got too much this summer and I gave her an ultimatum: either drop the guy or lose me in turn. Finally, she relented and distanced herself from him; no matter how sad it made her.
Well, just two weeks ago she got the news that he killed himself. And she's been a mess ever since. Constantly arguing with me. Sleeping at her friends' place instead of here. And absolutely forbid me from going to his funeral with her. It hasn't let up, and we don't get along like we used to. I don't know how to approach her and talk about this.
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>>17448439
>I don't know how to approach her and talk about this.
Apologize. In this kind of situation, you would typically be right but this time you were wrong. This guy was actually in a bad place and actually needed support.
She's angry at you for not letting her be there for her obviously mentally ill friend and now he's dead. He's dead and she feels like she wasn't there to help him because of your jealousy. She's grieving now and that process requires that you not be there. I can imagine just looking at you would infuriate her at this point.
You fucked up. You fucked up real bad.
>because what honest-to-God man would let this shit get to him so much?
Also, seriously? What honest-to-God man would let his sister dying in a car crash and his dad dying form a stroke get to him so much? What kind of idiot are you?
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>>17448459
A man should be able to pack up his baggage and leave it somewhere else. I don't care how tragic your life is, you're still a puss for succumbing to it.
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>>17448490
You're a complete and utter idiot. I can see why she's upset with you.
Anonymous
Old crush brings out my beta personality from the past 2016-08-10 21:25:09 Post No.17448367
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Old crush brings out my beta personality from the past 2016-08-10 21:25:09 Post No.17448367
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Old crush brings out my beta personality from the past
Anonymous
2016-08-10 21:25:09
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Hey /adv/, I need more perspectives on this.
Some backstory: I met this girl when I was 16 who was a few years older than me, and she was amazing, beatiful, funny, smart, a 10/10 redhead with green eyes who loved and was awesome at acting. Let's call her E. But back then I was a white-knight gentleman, immature, had little to no game, and my jokes were well... appropiate for someone who is 16 but she didnt laugh and hell, I even had braces, so nothing ever happened the few times we spoke and I would come back cringing afterwards almost everytime. We only saw each other a couple of times then never again for years.
That was 4 years ago and now I've changed, I'm more mature, I'm funny in a smart way, take some care of my image, I'm friends of everybody and I've even had sex with 3 girls since starting college this year, my confidence is through the roof and it shows.
The thing is I ran into E again a few weeks ago, and our first conversation went pretty well, but since then the times we meet each other at parties at college or with mutual friends I feel like I'm back to being the way I was 4 years ago and get nervous and that she still sees me as "that kid". What's wrong with me? What's this quality she has? Is it her kind look and smirk she has when she talks to me? This has never happened to me before with anyone I've ever known in my life. What do I do guys? Thanks for your patience.
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>>17448367
Dude it sounds like your just over thinking it and being worried about what she will think of you. When it doesn't matter at all what she thinks
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I find myself assuming the "persona" of the person I used to be whenever talking to old acquaintances.
As in I'm more meek around old friends and family.
So I don't talk to them all too much anymore and am a new person with new people.
That's just how it is.
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>>17448726
Are you spending much time thinking about what to say?
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When are gay thoughts just that, thoughts?
And when are they something more?
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>>17448332
>when are they something more?
i guess when you act on them and have gay sex
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>>17448332
Most people have gay thoughts at some point in their lives. It becomes more when they're elaborate fantasies or active plans on how to bang someone of your own gender.
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I sucked my first cock a couple of months ago. It was at that moment I knew that it wasn't thoughts. So I guess when you act on it is when it becomes something more than a thought. I enjoyed sucking the cock and I would do it again. I really enjoyed the salty taste of pre cum in my mouth. And when he jizzed in my mouth I ate it. No regrets
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Is wearing long pants in summer "trying too hard to be cool"?
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>>17448325
only if you're actually doing it to be cool, I guess.
if you're doing it because you like wearing pants, then it's just other people being picky and judgy because they can't understand why someone else would dress different than them.
I wear pants all year round. I don't really like shorts anymore.
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>>17448325
not really.. i know tons of people that wear "long pants" in the summer. i personally dont like wearing shorts so i will normally wear jeans
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If you're worried about looking out of place, khaki or some other light color is summery whether short or long.
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Has anyone else noticed that Tinder has dried up for them? Last year I was drowning in women. Now I can't even get them to give me the time of day.
Wtf happened?
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>why can't i get laid through tinder again?!
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>>17448304
I use it for dating. I had several relationships off of it, one of which was about a year long, but when I came back everything is different.
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Anyone?
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Going to prison. Its only a 366 day stint in medium security for drug possession and misdemeanor battery. Ive got my business running by itself at this point, so when I get out money/employment/housing won't be an issue at all. And in fact, I have a decent amount of money saved up now. When it comes to being sexually assaulted or gangs or any of the basic prison memes, I can woop ass pretty decent and I have spent time in county before so I have some street smarts I guess. Also its notax security, I'll probably be with a lot of fellow """"""non violent"""""""""" drug offenders like me.
But what the fuck do I do while I'm in there? I heard you can get a TV and Xbox in prison if you have the funds, is this true? Read? Work out? How the fuck do I entertain myself in prison?
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>>17448243
Not max*
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It really depends on the jail that you go to but the myths that you hear about inmates having cable TV and video games and things like that are typically not true at all. I'd suggest picking up reading. That's one of the best ways to kill the time while you're there. You also have a job too so that'll kill time. It's not like you're just sitting in your cell all day
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> I've got my business running by itself at this point
Implying some greedy druggy douchebag isn't good to take over your operation
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Hey Anons, I'm going to undergo ECT/EST to treat my depression. Any of you guys tried it? I really want to hear your opinions on it.
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>>17448206
Probably won't make much of a difference unless you first address the cause of your depression, rather than just the symptoms. If you go through ECT and, best case scenario, it cures you of all your symptoms, the underlying cause of your depression will still be there and it'll just come back. This is also one reason why antidepressents don't work on most people. While they might suppress some symptoms of depression, the cause of the depression will still be there.
We tend to have this paradigm where people think they can just take a pill for their mental disorders. Depression doesn't typically work that way. While I know nothing about your situation nor am I in a position to offer you any advise over the internet, I would recommend a seeing good cognitive behavioral therapist if you really want to do something about your depression.
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>>17448206
My father went through it, he is still an insufferable cunt.
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>>17448233
Thank you for the feedback, Anon, I really do appreciate it.
>Probably won't make much of a difference unless you first address the cause of your depression, rather than just the symptoms.
Yeah, I figured as much. I was banking on ECT as a last resort.
> I would recommend a seeing good cognitive behavioral therapist
Have done that but I haven't gotten much improvement from it. If ECT doesn't work, I'll this route again with a couple of different doctors.
Anons, I'm a fat non attractive girl in a dire need of money. I can't get a regular job or any gig right now despite looking really hard.
What I can do to earn some cash? I know there are girls selling panties or shoes, does it even work?
Pls help
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what state?
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Get drunk, your problems will fade away anon
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>>17448157
I'm from eastern europe, anon
>>17448164
I don't have monies for that booz, otherwise I would
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What are some jobs that are easy as dirt to find with just a high school diploma (I'm a college student but haven't graduated yet), even if they're shitty?
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retail
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call center, gas station, fast food, retail, diner
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>>17448023
Graphs with no labels trigger me
Warehousing, janitorial, certain technician jobs
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My third semester of college starts in a month and I'm terrified.
I'm in for programming, everyone in my program says third semester is the hardest by far, and I'm just not sure if I'll be able to handle it.
I've had motivation issues all my life. I rarely ever feel any drive to be productive. It nearly killed me my first year and I'm really worried about how it's going to effect me now that things are even harder.
I'm in a rush to fix this, I have a month to fix a behavior that I've had for my whole life and I just don't know how thats possible
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Do something every day for a month and it becomes a habit.
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>>17447965
So what should I do to "practice" being productive. I'm on summer break in a small hick town with fuckall to do
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Okay, so here's my situation:
>Call a local gas station within walking distance for a job.
>Manager says she can give me a job immediately.
>Go there, fill out job application, W4, let her scan my driver's license, etc.
>Tells me she'll call me when they have available hours
>Never get a call
>Call her
>Tells me they aren't busy enough
What can I do about this situation? Did this woman do something illegal?
I have since found a much better job since then, but I feel like this is a fucked up situation that needs to be dealt with. IO tried calling the company that owns the station, the customer service woman was trying to weasel her way out by saying "well, you have a job now, rite? So, like, what do you want us to do about it?"
Does this count as fraud? Should I get a lawyer involved?
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change of heart? I wouldn't look too into it. For as many times a job flakes on the new hire, think about how many new hires flake on the job?
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>>17447974
Yeah, if it was just an application and an interview, I'd forget about it.
But I gave this woman my social and my W4. That's what has me worried.
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>>17448008
usually your social goes on the application just the same, and your W4 is just so they can tax any hours you might've worked appropriately.
Anonymous
Will I ever be excited again? 2016-08-10 18:17:57 Post No.17447903
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Will I ever be excited again? 2016-08-10 18:17:57 Post No.17447903
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Will I ever be excited again?
Anonymous
2016-08-10 18:17:57
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Piece of shit people displaced me out of the time of my life, put me in a long ass period of torture and bullying. When I came out, I had no emotions left and I fuckin feel nothing.
I remember missing people, I remember loving people. I feel none of that anymore, and it fucking sucks. The only time I feel something is when I like a girl, but they don't like me back. Will I ever be excited about life again? do people who lose excitement in everything ever get it back? any examples? all i want to do is just find some grass and lay there. Also, I feel so afraid of doing anything now, Get these weird headaches too. Feel like I can't handle being alive anymore honestly. It feels like a drag and painful.
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I'm right there with you anon.
This is a question I'd like an answer to as well.
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>>17447903
>>17447934
The only way for people like us is play this shit with our lives in the line.
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>>17447903
I don't fucking know how much you (or the others here) have been through, but you will probably start feeling something again.
I remember how I was 3 or 4 years ago. The best moments in that period were coming back home at night slightly drunk and laughing to myself aloud in the empty streets. I was coming back from a night out with some "friends" I couldn't trust as friends, trying to get myself like some girls that I found stupid just to feel involved. Being drunk, I could see how it was all fake, pathetic, and funny indeed. It felt good.
But going back to the present, you DO have chances to get out of it. I didn't suffer what most of the people would call heavy bullying, but I was litterally left alone and betrayed (those petty betrayals in high school) by every "friend" I knew, among other things. Today I managed to get myself a girlfriend. And I do care for her, I feel she's important, even sometimes it's difficult to remember. I'm not finished talking. My two cents are going to continue in next post.
Anonymous
Artistic Existential Crisis 2016-08-10 18:10:32 Post No.17447883
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Artistic Existential Crisis
Anonymous
2016-08-10 18:10:32
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There have been times when I get ideas in my head for music styles and approaches to music and then I discover an artist who does what I had been thinking about and I feel like anything I try to do is just me copying them. Listening to them more actually makes me think I'll copy them. Any advice on what to do?
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Listen to a wide variety of music and steal your favorite parts from all of them so you can combine it into your own thing.
If you focus too narrowly on one or two artists that you like, you're going to sound like a copy of them more often than not.
The easiest thing to do is to make music in the genre that you are most comfortable in, meaning the one you have listened to the most and understand the best. Then you can throw in some outside influences into that style if that's what you wanna do.
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>>17447883
Learn. Listen broadly, and listen deeply. A lot of your early work is going to be derivative, no matter how hard you try to make something original. It's only through practice, exploration, and developing a thorough understanding of music that you'll finally stumble across something new.
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I wouldnt worry about that too much. Like in writing, no music is totally original. The best pull inspiration from others, adding their own to it. You could take the style of the band and create something new. You could try to add your own unique flair. You might remove elements. Just have fun making music - worry about the end result, not anything else.
Anonymous
How to get my Ex-Girlfriend back? 2016-08-10 17:43:25 Post No.17447828
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How to get my Ex-Girlfriend back? 2016-08-10 17:43:25 Post No.17447828
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How to get my Ex-Girlfriend back?
Anonymous
2016-08-10 17:43:25
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Who here has experience with girls? Help me get my ex back
>be me and her, (our first real relationship)
>I'm her first kiss, first everything except sex which we haven't done
>relationship was great, I always done cute things for her, she tells me she's not used to being treated so good
>learn more about her, how her parents split up, she has low self esteem and maybe depression because of it
>she tried to end it before and push me away, saying I deserve someone better, but I reassured her she's my girl and I don't want anyone else.
> Month later she actually broke things off with me, almost out the blue and she gave me many different reasons but I suspect most were bullshit
Present Day: Broke up about 2 weeks, We still talk and she knows I still want to be with her, but one day she is telling me she just doesn't care anymore and doesn't wanna be with me, and the next its different. I mean if that was true, she wouldn't keep talking to me, messaging me first, me being the last one she speaks to at night, wearing my hoody like 24/7, or when I suspect anything she gets upset and tells me to stop getting funny.
I got sick of this the other day and felt like I was getting walked on so I had to lay down some truth. Told her I'm sick of her moody ass attitude, the shit she says that hurts me, and if she doesn't pull her head out of her ass soon I'll be moving on for good, because I just want my girl back. She was a little shocked, and suddenly started apologising and saying how she knows she's been moody, she's been really stressed lately with work and things at home, and she knows I'm trying my best to put up with her. But then another day rolls by and it's just back and forth you know, petty arguments, me wanting to be with her, her telling me she doesn't want me, etc.
What do I do people?
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find a new hoe that will suck your d and let u put it in her ass.
but that's just me senpai
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You're never going to get her back. She doesn't want to be with you and things are going to get worse and worse if you keep talking to her. Leave her alone and try to stop thinking about her.
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>>17447828
Dude she's an ex grilfriend lits just get real
that's a pussy go round attraction
was the ride really that good?
yeah sure everyone round you will say so because your the stupid fucker still on that ride that fucking parks gotta still sell tickets you fucking sucker!
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A little background. 26 years old, only have been in one relationship and was a short one. Was willing to try again but I'm currently starting to bald and it's not something I'd desire to anyone.
It gives you so much anxiety like you wouldn't believe it
Anyhow here's the clutch of the thing; Alopecia is basically treateable by either A, Minoxidil, which is a drug that restores the blood flow and helps the hair grow back but doesn't restores miniaturized hair. And apparently it ages the shit out of your skin, so there's that
And there's also Finasteride, which basically inhibits the amount of DHT your prostate produces, by inhibiting the 5-α-reductase enzyme, which in turn, at the LONG run, gives you sexual disfunction (in a 7 year study, 62% of the guys out of case study got the side effects, which include, erectyle disfunction, low sperm count, and like 12% got penis shrinkage).
Tl dr; Do I go bald, do I make my skin look like shit, or do I go sexless but with hair? What would you do if you were me?
Here are the studies by the by
http://europepmc.org/abstract/med/1373779
http://www.goldjournal.net/article/S0090-4295(98)00094-6/abstract?cc=y=
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3481923/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4069023/
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Probably go completely bald. It's better than balding imo. I luckily still have a head full of hair but bald looks better and I guess some girls see it as a confidence thing.
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(I'm woman lol) Go full bald. It's not that big of a deal. The kind of people that would criticize your baldness would also criticize anything else they can. There's no escaping them. There's tons of people that wouldn't mind (me included), it's about you as a whole person, not the amount of hair you have/don't have. Cheer up man.
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"Sexual dysfunction was assessed in the 17,313 PCPT participants who received finasteride 5 mg during a 7-year period. Finasteride increased sexual dysfunction only slightly even at 5 mg dosage (which is much higher than the 1 mg administered in pattern hair loss) and its impact diminished over time. The authors concluded that the effect of finasteride on sexual functioning is minimal for most men and should not impact the decision to prescribe or take finasteride. A recent review of the available literature too arrived at similar conclusions.[12]"
I'm not sure where you got that 62% number from but it's grossly wrong.