Is it normal that I haven't had a decent conversation with a girl for 4 and a half years?
>>17440946
No not really. At the very least you should have had a conversation with one. Go to a library or grocery store and see if you can find something in common. Or maybe find one with similar interests on social media and start from there. Hell she doesn't even have to be from around your area. Also a lot of girls play MMOs.
>>17440960
Just doesn't seen to cut it for me though. Im cool with my bros, but a female gets me all jumpy and paranoid. Is this fucking autism?
>>17440970
Don't diagnose yourself with autism. Hat word gets thrown around too much. Most guys aren't comfortable around women especially new ones. You just need to have a I don't give a fuck attitude around them. It's like anything else the more you are around them or talk to them the easier it will be. Don't look at them as another species they are just people. Don't get me wrong they are pretty different from guys as how they think and you'll never figure them all the way out so just hang that up. How old are you and have you ever had a girlfriend?
Be me, on Omegle because bored as fuck. Talk to a blackscreen claiming to be a girl for about 3 hours about our personal lives. Talks about things way too specific and detailed to be some old creep in disguise, I figure. Sends me a link to a picture of her, normal girl. Then I reverse image search and it is showing up on every single jailbait site on the web, including here. Tries to play it off, then leaves they can no longer deny it.
I am still not sure it was some old guy jerking off behind the camera, or they were a really, really involved liar. Am I a fool, or did they just decide to send a fake pic?
They sent you a fake pic, they're probably either hunting you down on social media right now or were hoping to add you on social media to spread through to other people.
This is a pretty common thing. People scrape photos from other people and pretend to be them to spam ad links and other such nonsense.
Maybe she's just fat
>>17440855
My thoughts exactly
Guys what can i do to make someone i hate in school either
*Drive him away forever from the school without knowing it was me
*make his life sour enough where everyone hates him(without knowing it was me again)
any LEGIT ritual/curse is appreciated
none of that is possible without going to prison or the never ending boiling shit in hell. start meditating and fuck society. you think competing is going to make you feel better; your just another rat in the maze. drop the fuck out and learn how to be as happy as possible with minimal effort. lifes easy when you JUST LET THE FUCK GO
>>17440791
Ok first all you say, in school so you're clearly under age B8 get the fuck out.
Secondly, you need to know the person, what he fears, what he likes, dislikes his hobbies his movements how does he go to and from his home and work/school. You map his patterns find out what he's interested in.
Then break it down, find ways to slowly dissemble it, cause kinks in the chain cause obstructions and problems for his smaller problems then work up. this wont happen over night this will take a long time maybe even years.
But ask yourself, Is it really worth all that effort?
>>17440791
Go die in a fire OP, that type of person is what I despise the most.
Is intelligence determined by your genetics? I mean, there are so many traits determined by genetic e.g being tall, having good bone structure, good teeth, muscle insertions etc.
If your intelligence is determined by your genetics, what's the point of trying to learn particular subject if you just can't do it, no matter how hard you work at it.
Also it seems like people who get dealt with shitty genetics, never achieve anything in life, they have shitty jobs, shitty relationships, and this generation seems to hate mediocrity, everywhere you go, you see ad's be successful, stop being poor etc.
What's the point of trying improve if your improvement is limited by your genetic ability, and your whole life, like 90% depends on how lucky you got on genetic lottery.
>>17440627
I don't think much at all, unless your genetics mangle your mind at birth.
The brain is trainable insofar as intellect.
People born into shitty families have 2 real options, when you consider it all.
Option 1, stay in their environment and contribute to the cycle by falling into the same mistakes as others. Or Option 2, overcome the environment by learning from and understanding the mistakes and failures of others in their environment.
You see it all the time. Siblings trailing each other into failure, many times making the same mistakes as the one before them. It's easy to say "wow, bad genetics." Truth of the matter, they are all likely just lazy thinkers who don't understand you don't have to make mistakes to learn from them personally, you can also learn from other's mistakes.
It's not only genetics, it's genetics + environment. In case of intelligence environment includes what activities you were exposed to as a child, as well as your diet.
/sci/ has lots of productive threads about IQ
I am 25 years old and I am currently employed working front desk at a hotel. I usually come in early when asked and stay late when asked which is about 8 times out of the 11 days i work in 2 weeks. But no matter what I do they always find something that I did wrong,even if it's something very minor I'm pretty much sick of it. Yesterday was my day off and one of my coworkers didn't show up to work so they called me in I showed up to work and worked the night shift, I only had about 4 hours of sleep and forgot to take out some stuff for breakfast. Now the manager wrote a complaint on a log book that they have here and my general manager is going to see it in the morning and he's probably going to give me s*** about it. I kind of just want to quit but on the other hand I do need money and I don't know how long does it take for me to find another job especially in this small town. So how should I go about this should I just suck it up and look for a new job and then quit or just quit on the spot in the morning because I kind of had enough of this s*** already. (At work currently)
Not sure if you could say this to your boss, but they asked you to come in because they needed help and you showed up immediately. If they want to whine about something you did wrong when you had no warning and no sleep and showed up to work, fuck them. I would find a new job before you quit though.
>>17440569
Yeah bro i know. Hopefully I can find one asap
>>17440552
Talk to the manager, sit them down (record the conversation on your phone if legal in your state) and lay out your position.
1. You are a hard-worker.
2. You are dependable, and always show up to do your job.
3. You are so dependable, you freely cover shifts for others without complaint.
Address the actual problem, you are having to work extensively because others are not being held to the same standard as you in regards to their work, which is affecting your performance on the job due to lack of rest.
Stress that you love your job, you're more than happy to cover shifts when needed, and you are more than happy to address any performance issues that are direct result of your duties. Then stress it is important for others to schedule you appropriately and not abuse your willingness to be a dedicated employee.
Then, deflect and ask for a raise, and go over the list again explaining why you deserve one.
Hello,
I'm a 23 year old guy, I have my own place, plenty of money, but since I moved to a new city, I have no friends. So I wanted to ask has anyone had experience going to clubs alone? Is this a good way to meet people?
I live in Europe and mostly listen to electronic music so that's the kind of places i'll be visiting.
Tips? Experiences?
I moved to a city when I was 21. I used to go out to drink and latch onto groups of people. I was a lot more aggressively outspoken, over confident and irritating when I was young and I think I needed to be for this to work.
I found that students were best because they've moved to a new area and were already looking to meet new people and indulge in new experiences, though you've got to put up with listening to the same conversations about babies first super theories of everything and most of them move away eventually.
I'd say that all these years later while I met everybody I pretty much know during that period it wasn't that successful and in hindsight kind of cringe worthy at times. These days I'd rather express my self confidence in what I am and can do rather than what I can say and think I could do, but maybe that is normal for young people in the process of becoming.
The ones who I know now, came from making the leap from acquaintance to friend and for that to happen you've quite often got to offer up some social capital of your own. Maybe you've mutual friends, interests, skills, hobbies etc.
You've got to put quite a lot of hours in with somebody to start to form a friendship where you can actually be vulnerable and have disagreements and things which strengthen the friendship. In a club setting you'll get a little time every other week or so and it'll never progress and they can always just say fuck off bro.
For me it was music. I played quite a few instruments, had a ton of equipment and could run sound, record and repair things. I jumped at any chance to play with, record with or for, put on bands, help out with gigs, events, festivals etc in the local scene. Kind of tough crowd though because so many aloof trendy people who seemingly can afford to just be critical because they are king of a scene by virtue of looks or talent. Also so many chaotic weird dangerous people who have no idea.
But even so, a not bad 10-15 people who've stuck around.
>>17440554
I'm good at getting people to hang out with me after we've already met, it's just that I've pretty much never been in a situation where I'm meeting people alone, it's always either friends of friends, merging with other groups on a night out, etc.
Here I'm in a town I don't know with people that I don't know, it's just very strange and somewhat intimidating.
>>17440628
Well I used to smoke which helped because you can usually talk in a smoking area and plenty of people aren't put off by someone striking up a conversation.
I used to just ask people how their night was going make some small talk and introduce myself, ask them if anything is going on later and just move on pleasantly enough.
Eventually you run into people again and ask them again how it is going and especially if people are drunk sometimes they'll latch onto you and introduce you to their group. Sometimes people are assholes and use the fact that you aren't with a group of people against you to try and make themselves look funny or clever, but that is not that difficult to deal with if you are actually funny and socially capable enough to pick up on any dynamics within a group because occasionally that will prompt others in the group to take sides and later on you find a reason to catch up with those people.
What country and city? I've been to some cities where there is almost a festival vibe going on at all times and as such it is really easy to just join groups and strike up conversation. Was in Barcelona earlier this year and it was easy as fuck to just join a random group and ask for a cigarette and talk about the evening and what people are into.
Met five different groups over the week and went to dinner with three of them, drinks for another and talked shit for ages with another and got a strong vibe that a girl was into me and that was the pretence.
so this asian girl starts up a flirty conversation with me and i run with it to see where it goes. we exchange numbers and met up for drinks. she seems like shes trying to hide her nervousness or maybe we just have no connection. anyways i asked her why she talked to me and she said i could be her chance so im assuming shes isolated and needs someone to encourage her so i stick with it.
we organise to meet for lunch today and everything seems fine but she doesnt reply to text and lunch slips by. an hour later i say "it hurts more to ghost someone. youll see when it happens to you". she texts back immediately saying shes sorry she was busy writing a 1000 word essay she doesnt have time for lunch. i already know this is a shit text but just give her the benefit of the doubt; maybe shes real nervous? i say "ok bu please just tell me whats going on".
i call after dinner and shes saying everythings fine lets meet up for lunch but im pretty sure somethings not connecting well between us. i cant tell if shes just nervous and inexperienced or too nice to say how she really feels about me. should i end this or kee persueing her?
shit test not text
>My Whole Outlook On Life Is Based On 4Chan: The Post
>>17440493
ok wally
How do you bring yourself to complete a task you're nervous about? What makes you "take the plunge?"
Mine's about a girl that I kinda awkwardly stopped talking to as we got closer because of multiple reasons, but don't let it limit you to social matters.
I'm more interested in your advice on not procrastinating, taking dangerous plunges, not playing it safe etc.
I've heard just about every schpiel out there, the only one that ever kinda helped me was "you miss every shot you don't take."
Pic unrelated it's just The Cure.
I think it helps to understand what stress really is. It's our built-in fight or flight system. Nothing more, nothing less.
I deal with some anxiety and stress too, but at the end of the day, if I don't have a lion or tiger staring me down and ready to go for my jugular, I ignore the stress. It helps to focus on positive outcomes, and not the negative shit.
I hate standing up in labs giving instruction to students on campus (and I have been doing it since my freshmen year) but it has always been so rewarding. Literally every holiday I have other students getting me cards, gifts, and always have people asking to take me to lunch or just bringing me coffee to show their appreciation. A simple thanks has always sufficed with me, but so much more has come from it. And to think, every single semester I start getting anxiety about it, but it's not like I was training lions.
everybody has different strategies I guess
one simple way is to just approach things that make you nervous in an entirely logical way
because most of these kinds of fears are inherently illogical and any fear that is based in sound logic is probably one you should be heeding anyway
so lets say you're afraid to tell a girl how you really feel
well just think this girl might seem like the whole world to you right now but the reality is she's merely one human being out of 7 billion
so what are the chances that this one girl is so special as to be 1 in 7 billion?
the worst that could happen is rejection
and then what are the chances that every girl in the world would reject you?
even if you spent your whole life doing nothing but repeating this same process with every girl in the world you would never get through them all and you would never suffer a worse fate than rejection
so you might as well get started now right?
>>17440457
Your example was pretty spot on, just being from a small town it seems scarier because I've never really met a girl like her and i have kinda low self esteem, so after our first date she gave me 2 or 3 "busy" excuses and I instantly figured she thought I was a loser.
I was too scared to ask her how she really felt and now it's eating me up, but you bring up a good point. I'll be moving from here soon so it's not like I'll be around her forever, I'd at least like to get to know her more.
It's been like 2 months, sending a text out of the blue is kinda what's scaring me now.
Hello everyone, hope you're doing ok. Several weeks ago I came across some test about OCD, there was this question if I get taboo sexual thoughts, yeah, I get some crazy thoughts sometimes and it doesn't even have to be sexual, thoughts like what if jumped under a train and stuff like that, but it wasn't even bothering me and I thought it was normal, but this test said that I'm suffering from OCD, so I freaked out and started researching and found that there was this thing called intrusive thoughts and it's normal to get them from time to time and if they're not bothering you. So I was fine. But the thing is, the stuff that I read about intrusive thoughts stuck in my head, like some guy who said that he had a friend who was afraid that he might abuse a child. And now this thing thing keeps popping up in my head, especially when I see kids, I don't necessarily get particular thoughts, it's more like this theme about abuse and I don't really like having this and especially the idea that it'll keep showing up in the future. I wasn't really comfortable discussing this thing with a therapist so we just talked about OCD and he said that I don't have it. Now I'm afraid that I damaged my psyche because of reading about this thing. Or maybe I'm fine and I'm just overreacting? I should probably get busy again, I was depressed for a while now and I didn't do anything for more than a month, just lying and watching tv or browsing reddit, reading about mental issues and how to get out of depression, I didn't do anything towards my goals, didn't do hobbies, didn't look for a job, I don't feel like the person I once was, I'd really love to hear some encouragement, I don't want to hear about mental illnesses or therapists anymore, just some comfort and reassurance. I was was so happy before July and then all of a sudden I became so sad, started reading about mental issues and became so confused and even more depressed. I'm really sorry for rambling.
Try another therapist. And ideally another more. If you get the same outcome, chances are you don't have anything.
This kind of things can come and go. I'd suggest a blood test (if you can afford) to see if you're hormonally right and nothing's fucking you up.
As for OCD, I do not know. The spectrum is INMENSE, and most people have one of the traits but by a small amount. So don't beat yourself up too much.
If you do get a positive OCD by one of those therapists, then you got treatment or drugs for it. No matter the outcome, you got posibilities, so please try to work on those
It is all in your head m8, whatever you beleive you perceive, fear is a concept you create in your mind, it is not real.
even though you're reddit scum i feel for you
Help.
I noticed my butt started hurting a couple days ago after I wiped with toilet paper and it's been persisting ever since. I notice a small pea sized lump on my anus. I'm going to go see a doctor but what could it possibly be? Tumor is the immediate thought that comes to my mind but I'm only 20 and I live an active and healthy life.
Pls help
>what is a prolapsed anus
just push it back in. jesus.
Haemorrhoids. Easy. You should get some cream from your doc or something
Just clinkers.
he will give you hemorrhroid cream
Chili pepper juice got on my dick and I'm on fucking fire help
>>17440239
Dip it in milk, or use lotion.
>>17440239
But how?
>>17440243
Good man
>>17440258
>Feast on chili peppers
>Forget to wash hands
How does one get enough self-confidence to approach new people at uni, how's it done?
everything you do needs to be in support of yourself; even your thoughts. if your stuck in a mental loop thinking this and that and shoulda done this and god im so stupid STOP that is the reason you have no game
Have sex
by doing it anyway.
i know in your twisted little 'MUH CONDITIONS' world you must find that to not make sense.
but you're wrong.
you can read about all the techniques you want but until you take that pencil to paper, you have no idea what drawing is actually like. social interaction is just like anything, you gotta do it to learn it.
the reason you HAVE CONFIDENCE in yourself to talk to strangers is becaue you
>talked to strangers
>saw that literally nothing bad can happen from just striking up a casual conversation
>and therefore there is no reason to avoid doing it
confidence is literally just a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
and as long as you beliea feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
and if you KNOW that the worst thing that can happen is you walk away and your life is exactly the same as it was a half hour ago, then there is nothing to lack confidence in
i hate everything about it. just surfing their websites looking for my next alma mater makes me literally suicidal.
HOWEVER, since i have autoimmune disease and therefore 0 (zero) physical stamina, i have to get some sort of education. NEETbux won't cover the bills. i'm also, reportedly, fairly bright, which should be a plus but in minimum wage type jobs i tend to zone out too much which in turn effects my work performance, which, coupled with my health problems renders me virtually unemployable. it doesn't help that my coworkers find me weird AF.
is there work for self-taught programmers? or is the market totally saturated. i know a lot about math and computers but i'm not interested in further formal training. should i just suck it up and go? kill myself?
>>17440114
>is there work for self-taught programmers?
Not really, unless you have experience to show that you know what you're doing
>>17440119
isn't this why people do open source projects?
>>17440246
Somewhat, but that involves knowing the right people
Not sure if I want advice or just venting this shit. Sorry english ain't my first language.
>Met girl on tinder like a month ago
>She's on my state only for a few weeks.
>She broke up with her ex b4 arriving here.
>Whatevs
>She's pretty amazing, we get along really well, love, butterflies and all that shit.
>Red flag 1, she parties more than me (Ok I'm not that outogoing) and gets drunk
>During this time her ex still messages her and wants to return with her.
>She leaves past thursday and will return next week
>Yesterday she met with her ex to clear things up, she talks about me, he goes apeshit and makes her feel bad
>redflag 2 they met near to her house or something like that
>She's sad but claims no regrets and still wants to be with me.
>Today her ex messages me on facebook, threatens me and tells me to leave her. I tell him to go to fuck himself.
>She says he sent her sshoot and says sorry he's an asshole whatev
>She wents to a party, she's on whatsapp with me all the time until 20:00
>At 21:00 i get voice message from her cell phone, it's her ex saying she got drunk and he took her to her house. Pretty sure her house was empty at this time so they fucked ofc, I listen to it until 22:00
>Again tell him to go fuck himself (well he already fucked her so :/ )
>He replies on his facebook at 23:50, still no reply from her.
So.
1.-She accepts it was her fault, I ditch her
2.-She claims rape (Tbh in my book it's still her fault but I'd like to be supportive but leaving her still, does that make sense?
3.-Now i really want to piss of this guy but staying with her in order to accomplish that seems too much.
So, thoughts /adv/?
c'mon at least tell me I'm an idiot or something
Or should I take this to /b/?
Why are you obsessing over a woman you met on tinder and barely know?
Yes one month is barely enough time to know anyone.
Unless you love this kind of stuff, all this stupid drama all just for one confused girl is not worth it.
>>17440096
Jumping into anything with a girl that just got dumped/out of a relationship is the stupidest thing you can do. You will be used to make them feel better for a short period of time as they pine for their ex, then after she's done with you move onto the next victim.
Hey /adv/icates.
I decided to drink wine, started watching a sommelier documentary, and began to think about this girl I knew who wanted to become a sommelier. I remembered that her birthday was in August, but couldn't remember what day. So, instead of going with my gut and just asking her, I checked her Facebook and it turns out that it's today.
Should I wish her a happy birthday, straight up, or go through the dishonest "wat day is ur birthday? Omg today? No waaiii!" bullshit?
She's dating someone, so it doesn't really matter what she thinks of me romantically, I just want to be a nice friend. [spoiler] At least I keep telling myself that. [/spoiler]
plz help
I'm to autistic to figure this out.
ROOOOO HELP
I'm austic and intoxicated.
There's no reason to think this much about it, m8. If you do, you'll just be another notification on her Facebook. If you don't, nothing will change.