Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3989. page

It'll never end. You'll be 80 years old masturbating to your female friend.

>>17523834
I am that friend, and I didn't think you would bring this to 4chan of all places

You've started associating her with orgasms. As long as you continue to think of her, this will continue to be reinforced.

If you want to break out of it, actively think about something else. Even if you still slip up at the end, you are making progress. Try to hold thoughts of other people in your head for longer each time. Start to disassociate her with sex and orgasm.

>>17523805
You'll be fine, most of college isn't applicable to the real world since most of it is either outdated or not relevant.

All a degree does is prove to an employer that you can see a long difficult task to the end and that you may have some relevant knowledge.

>>17523823
cunt that isn't the point, he wants to learn it

>>17523805
stop using the internet for a month. seriously. go longer if you can. if you can do that you probably won't want to come back for much. reduce your reliance on your "external memory," i.e. planners, wikipedia, notes, etc., and start using your built-in one. use it or lost it, my friend. if you want, you can try intentionally creating a system of synesthesia to use to aid memory recall. research the method of loci. in terms of non-artificial memory, i.e. the kind of memory that isn't a skill you can learn like the MoL is, you're basically fucked. using it more might bring it up to baseline if you raped it with constant internet novelty and relying on googling things instead of trying to remember them, but you're pretty much capped by your genes. unless you aren't. I don't fucking know, I already have an inhumanly good memory.

if you want to go the chemical route, get some modafinil. learn the symptoms of ADHD and go to a doc or psych who's liberal with his prescriptions. ask around to find one. repeat ADHD symptoms and acquire modafinil. I'd recommend going with whatever he tells you about first for a month or so. you can just flush it if you want. next visit, tell him you stumbled across this med called modafinil and explain why you think it would be useful for your symptoms. enjoy your godly memory.

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>>17523805
By teaching the material to someone.

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>>17523769

This happened to me, I somehow had conjunctivitis. My eye was puffy and itchy. It was also blurry and there was green goo, it burned too. If you start experiencing more symptoms like that, go to a doctor, trust me.

>>17523788
it isnt itchy nor blurry and what the fuck there could be green goo? also check em

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kinda looks like swelling from an allergic reaction. it'll probably go away on its own.

very unlikely you had a stroke and it doesn't look like that lol but can you smile like normal?

>>17523763

its not your fucking problem and you cant fix it. move on.

>>17523767
I think it is my problem

I've lost two jobs in a row because my boss wouldn't pay me a legal wage
it's an endemic issue in my community

and also I think it's my duty to stand up for people who are being taken advantage of

whether or not I can fix it, that is a more complex issue

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you haven't explained shit about how she's being taken advantage of.

"i should totally be paid more because i work hard and sacrifice a lot" is not a legal case.

what's she being paid, and what's minimum wage where you live?

>>17523745
You don't stick your dick in crazy, son.

If you had brains, you'd pull the eject handles immediately. But something tells me that you aren't going to do that.

You want to spend your life cleaning up a crazy bitch's messes and dealing with her crazy shit, that's on you.

kick her out/dump her.

And don't worry about her, some dumb white knight will come along and pick up where you left off.

You need to look out for yourself.

>>17523896
>But something tells me you aren't going to do that
You're right, I'm not. "Don't stick your dick in crazy" isn't very helpful advice. Say for example it was my brother or sister. What advice would you have then? Dump them on their ass on the curb and tell them to get fucked?

>>17523716

lie through your teeth. "i never fucked her. why would i do that? you're my fucking roommate. jfc"

>>17523732
>>17523732
honestly this

just pray that he doesnt check her texts or she shows them to him

if he starts to wallop on you call the police and steal his shit while he is in jail

>>17523732

Flat out deny that it happen or act shocked?

>>17523708

I feel like weed is so harmless on the surface that the person has to really want to stop themselves

I'm 24 and have smoked weed every day since I was like 15. I'm in grad school and weed's worst effect on me has probably that it makes me somewhat forgetful about small stuff and not very punctual. My major is pretty "weed friendly" you could say though

despite my avid marijuana usage i would never recommend someone else to use as much as i do

>>17523708

im high rite now

>>17523708
Some people just crawl into a bong and that's it.

I have a friend that started smoking weed in college, he graduated and then was a pizza delivery guy until his 40's. Now he's a night manager at a chain restaurant.

IDK why, it wasn't like he was abused or anything, just a regular suburban kid who got good grades until he married Mary Jane.

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guess adv doesn't vape. also why are my pics always upside down or sideways.

>>17523683

i vape but have no advice. put the juice in the box and press the button. get nicotine. end.

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>>17523726
it's harsh and tastes bad. cleaning it out and changing the coil fixes it for like a few hours then it's back. i'm burning through coils like crazy and it's getting expensive.

lol honeymoon period wore off that fast? You're fucked.

Have you gained weight or doing something that might make you unattractive?

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>>17523681
>what op has to look forward to

Sorry OP, you got fucked man

>>17523655

Maybe talk to your wife instead of this message board?

"Hey honey, we haven't had sex in 4 months. What happened to us? We weren't like this before. I want us to have a good sex life. What can we do to fix it?"

it's just not that fucking hard

Quit being a fag, seriously though if you have to ask how to be cool then you are an inherently uncool person. Stop worrying about it and just do you

>system is gone

I don't think there usually is "THE GUY" at college. Maybe some 6'4 football star that everybody likes, but still nobody really gives a fuck.

I've noticed that the real world doesn't really have "popular" people. Just some celebrities, politicians, musicians, and actors. Everybody else just blend in and mind their own business.

>>17523650
>How do I become popular and an all around cool guy?

That's a really shitty goal, and you should feel shitty for having it. Just do what YOU like to do, WHEN you like to do it, and don't EVER apologize.

If you're really good friends then you should probably tell them but that's the kind of shit that makes you lose friends desu.

>>17523644
Holy shit you're retarded. Do you think they're going to try to be more cognizant of your feelings? Do you think they'll be careful about jokes because you tell them you're a pedo?

No. They're going to be disgusted by you because you are disgusting. If you have not yet acted on your urges, go see a shrink who specializes in these issues. If you have already acted, eat a bullet somewhere nobody will find the body.

Don't tell your friends, but do talk to a professional if you feel that at any point you could ever act on it.

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>>17523631

I heard eating pineapple can make guys cum taste sweet and a girl's pussy taste sweet, and apparently smell better. Try it out

>>17523631
would it be her eating habits? I'm pretty sure if all she ate was junk food she wouldn't smell that great.

>>17523678
organic everything. traditional Korean cooking also

>>17523513
laser hair removal or IPL hair removal are your best bets.

lemon? kek. if you're fair skinned then bleaching the hair can work i guess? some girls do that for their staches.

>>17523513
Whitening creams
There's a lot of controversy around using them but honestly people just get freaked out because of the name, they're totally fine, all they do is fight excess melanin production and even out your skin. You can use them anywhere that gets darker because of inflammation

>>17523535
can't or can't?

>>17523465

If you can pull it off, I'll be impressed.

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>>17523465
>videogames
>hobby

kek

>>17523465
get lunch or coffee. chat.

go back to your place after to play your man-child vidya.

have that one roommate come in that is a superior version of you and much more attractive and have him and the girl talk.

shrink away as their sexual tension grows.

>>17523456
talk to them like you would your sister.

an attractive sister that you want to fuck.

makes it much easier.

>>17523456
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeBiXBic3sE

>>17523456
you meet a slut and say whatup its nice to meet ya
id like to treat ya to a faygo and a slice of pizza
but im broke as fuck, and i dont get paid til the first of next month
but if your like to join me, i was about to roll this next blunt
but i aint got no weed, no phillies, or no papers
plus im a rapist, and a repeated prison escapist
so gimme all your money
and dont try nothin funny
cuz you know your stupid ass is too fat to try and outrun me

works every time, guaranteed