Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3985. page

>>17525312
no periods or PMS

Age better

Go where I want when I want by myself with basically zero concern that people will take my solo presence as an invitation for sexual advances.

>>17525287
> cont

- fast forward to today
> i had a few dates with random girls off tinder
> they were all disgusting in one way or another, I didn't want to see any of them again
> miss her more than anything
> want to desperately see her again
> based on the fact that she got her own place etc, I assume that her troubles with being able to stay here worked out for the moment, so the one thing that stood in the way of us having a relationship might not be relevant anymore
> not sure though, obviously

so, here's my question:
is there any way i contact her again without seeing desperate, clingy etc? How should I do it?

so basically

>in love with a girl
>she doesn't want a proper relationship
>man up and tell her that you do
>cut all contact as a result

you just gotta start again, anon. if you truly had something other than romantic attraction, becoming friends again will be awkward but worth it.

>>17525297
>is there any way i contact her again without seeing desperate, clingy etc? How should I do it?

either be up-front and send her a text along the lines of
>"I'm so glad you're okay, not sure what I would do if I lost you"

or
>"Oh, you got your own place now? So you're not going to leave the country anytime soon?"
which heavily implies that the conflict that ended your relationship is over and mgiht resume

Increasingly-worried-self bump

me and a person met online when myspace was still a thing, we developed feelings over it all after years of talking, phone calls, picture swaps, all that jazz without human contact. we stayed as best friends. when we started seeing each other in person, we developed deeper feelings, but couldnt do anything because we had partners at the time, so we kept it mutual.

One point, we were both single and started dating and had a nice time together while it lasted.

Moral of the story is don't rush it, see each other if you are serious with each other. It has to be the right moment, and right now, it isn't.

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>>17525503
How do I tell when it's the right time though? I feel like it might be now, he definitely trusts me, he's just a bit hesitant due to past relationships ending really poorly.

>>17525236
you're willing to give her random peoples numbers but not just give/lend her 35 bucks. the fuck dude? just get lunch from her a few days in a row, or get lunch from her once and give her a big tip.

if she's genuine you'll be able to tell, if she keeps nagging you for money tell her to fuck off. it's pretty simple and being some what decent sometimes over something so trivial isn't that big of a deal.

>>17525293
>you're willing to give her random peoples numbers but not just give/lend her 35 bucks. the fuck dude?
This. How fucking awkward must that be?

>>17525236
op here sorry if i didnt explain myself in the phone numbers, there where numbers of people that lend money they work lending people money but at high interest rate shits like 10 to 20%

>>17525230
>a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z were here
A tatto that would sum up her life

>>17525230
as a girl, anon, let me tell you i think you sound pretty cool
you seem calm, reflected, open to being wrong but not willing to be pushed over.

what that tells my womanly instincts is that you're a long-term kinda guy, which is definetely very important to any girl who is going into a relationship with you.
some girls don't want long-term. some girls think they do and realize their mistake when they are already married with a kid on the way and golden retriever hairs all over the car seats. we can definetely tell when a guy is "for real", as they say, and contrary to popular belief some women are just as scared of that as some guys are.

My official and completely untrustworthy diagnosis is that you are with a girl who doesn't know what she wants, or isn't ready for what she wants. she's either going to stick with you for years and years or yo-yo back whenever the single life leaves her longing for stability and comfort.
She knows you're "for real", anon, but you have to look inside yourself and figure out if she is.

>>17525265
>She knows you're "for real", anon, but you have to look inside yourself and figure out if she is
wow, not OP but thank you fem anon. I agree this is her way of alerting you she is wobbly and can be used as justification to bail

he's with you until he finds someone better

He just wanted to fuck, he never wanted anything long term. He most likely found another at his home country, I mean cmn on you're not this oblivious to the world are you?

>>17525210
> comes back to my place a month later for 3 days. Best weekend of our life
This is where it went wrong. you assumed feelings for the both of you

>>17525118
don't think much about it. I work at a retail store our managers drill it on our head to be NICE to everyone especially the qt girls

>>17525125
>>17525125
I do work at a retail store too, and i know how it works. It's not about her being nice to me, because i'm used to this. It's not the fact that she was nice to me, it's because for the first time since really long i felt like chasing somebody (normally i go on dates with girls just to "stay in shape").

>>17525136
well asking her out at work might be creepy and could backfire
try see if she has online dating profile on okcupid,pof
also look for her on tinder.
You could always just drive back to that place at a similar time and set tinder to girls within 1mile

>>17525105
>Anyway, how do normal people get a job?
Ask somebody with a job to fix your resume
and kiss ass at the interview
OMG IM SO EXCITED TO DO THIS JOB OMG OMG

T.guy who makes $30hr teaching tennis to rich brats

What are your qualifications?

>>17525110
Thanks. This actually happened recently and I'm currently waiting for the company to call me.

>>17525034

Caffeine, a quick jog and a cold shower.

>>17525034
Cocaine.

caffeine is good, but if you don't get some carbs you'll be tired and jittery. Have a cooked breakfast. If you cook it yourself, the cooking will require you to stay more alert and will wake you up more.

>>17525003
>Am I wrong to feel this way?
Not at all. You can't really help how you feel anyway.

>My twin sister, who's been like my best friend all my life, thinks I overreacted to the situation and is refusing to talk to me. Parents feel similarly apparently, and even my now-ex chewed my ass out over it when she came back to get some stuff she had at my place.
They're upset because now all future family events are ruined. They just want you to give in and get over it, and because you aren't, they're choosing to blame you over your brother. He sounds like shit, to be honest.

>I genuinely don't love him or consider him family anymore, and I'm not sure if there's anything that could ever change that.
He clearly doesn't care about you either. You don't do that to people you think of as family, no matter how strong your urges are. You show restraint and respect.

>About a week ago I caught them in the act.
I'm sorry, OP. That's fucking horrible. If you don't mind reliving the memory for a moment, what were their excuses? Why did they think that this was okay?

>>17525003
What a fucking shit family...

>fucking your girlfriend
>Hits you when you find out
Jesus, if you don't punish your brother badly you deserve being walked all over like this

Also
>Family siding against you and refusing to talk to you
>Because you were angry at your girlfriend sucking your brother's dick

What kinda family is this? This is some sitcom tier shit.
I'd sincerely move somewhere else and start life anew, leaving these people behind completely, but not before breaking the jaw of your asshole brother and cutting all contact with that sloppy whore you call a girlfriend.

>>17524989
Now 2 weeks ago i had enough, the net has been shit since my brother moved in which was in july. After playing a ranked game and having to deal with 200-2k ping because our download and upload is so shit 10/1. I got so mad, because i lost the game, others lost because i had a shit net and could barely play, it was my fault and i hate it. In fit of anger i took my teacup and threw it on the ground i then walked out of my room and i said something around this i cant remember what i exactly said " whos downloading, im fucking tired of having shit net, why the fuck cant you just upgrade the net you can get twice as better net from x service for only 10$ more why the fuck do we have the lowest and cheapest deal when we are a 5 people in the house who uses the internett, even youtube videos makes the net shit. They gave me no respond other then " im not downloading or uploading anything" So i went back to my room. After that i decided i had enough, if they arent atleast answer me, or giving me any respond im just gonna stay mute and not say shit to them like they did.
This happend 1 week ago on a thursday, after that i never said a word to anyone in my family. I pretty much ignored then existance, id only go out of my room 3-4 times to just for bathroom or drinks/food. Now 3 days later which was last saturday, with me ignoring them and they ignoring me i felt pretty shit im not going to lie. None asked me whats wrong why do i ignore them. Or why did i decide to suddenly to lock myself in my room. Or whats wrong, i just simply got ignored back.

>>17524990
Which got me sad, which turned into anger when i found out everyone left for a party with some family friends and left me nothing. So i took 2 dinner plates and 1 small plate threw it on the floor to let out the frustration i had, i aint gonna lie but for the first time in my life, doing something and not giving a fuck of the consequences felt really really good. Like id been a scholar boy my while life, ive always been that "happy,non rebel kid" So for once doing something that actually negativly impacts someone, but not caring about what that person thinks felt really good. Also took some cake mix and spread it on the floor.
So i did that, they became angry, i just sat in my room not giving a fuck and every time i was online and the net went to shit i would just stamp 1-3 times . Now we can skip 5 days later, which is today on friday.

>>17524996
. After doing the ignore/stay mute for a week i had the police and health care personell knocking on my door, they wanted to know whats wrong and they wanted me to open up the door so i could talk with them.
Like wtf? they dont want to ask me whats wrong, but they send other people? What is this, am i living in a apartment with other strangers? am i the crazy guy.
So i ignored them, they said they would destroy the door (which made me not respond at all) I mean lets be real, how often do you have the police breakdown your door. Not to mention the weight it would carry when they found out they broke the door because this guy decided to not talk with his parents for 8 days because he wanted to upgrade the net plan.
Anyhow, they broke down my door, put me on the couch and asked me. Now everything i said is pretty much what ive written in the thread so far. I ignored them because they ignored me when i asked to change net plan. I also looked into it myself but im unable to change due to the address already being bind to another company and id had to cancel to get a new one.

So now here's where things get kinda shittier. Became friends with this girl from work. Never really talked a whole lot until we had a break together about a month ago. Been talking almost daily since. Innocent and friendly conversations. Nothing too flirty. I did notice that she was staring at me quite a few times but didn't think anything of it. One day about a week ago we both had a day off. So she asked me to go with her for her first tattoo. She got her tattoo & immediately after she wants to go get milkshakes. Cool. Then she invites me back to her apartment. Literally watched bobs burgers for like 3 hours. Went out that night with her and a few other coworkers and had some drinks. Took her and another friend home and that was it. Last night I was texting her about her new apartment. She asks me if I could help her move and help build new furniture. Sure, I'll help. Then she all of a sudden starts talking about how she needs a cuddle buddy for her new apartment since she'll be alone. I deliver lame ass joke. And then she says that if I was single she would love to cuddle me. She said she's afraid she is gonna mess up my relationship. Continues into her telling me that I'm her type and that we connect really well but she respects my relationship with my girlfriend and doesn't want to hinder that. Problem is, I kinda have the same feelings toward her.
So there's my shitty situation friends. What do I do?
TL;DR. Have a girlfriend of 3 years. Coworker explains that she likes me. Can't tell if I have feelings towards her or if it's just a little crush. But I don't wanna ruin the professionalism between us at work.

Self bump.

>>17524991
Bumping again for desperation.

I live with my mom BTW (no not underage)

Only a regular weed smoker would seriously consider an idea this stupid.

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>can do anything in life
>choose to be this stupid

She doesn't love you and is just emotionally confused. She said that for you to keep talking with her because she doesn't want to lose you.

>>17524909
Yes, many people can but it's twice as ephemeral.

Women cannot love

You basically have to let it completely cripple you before you get over it.

>>17524993
Expand on this please?

I had the same problem and I'm still on the process of overcoming it. What I did was wake up and just say to my self with a smile its going to be a great day. Also as the day passes don't you will see other people or things that make you feel even worst but what you need to do is force your self to look at the positive side of not having that girlfriend, car, money or whatever. You also want to get in your mind that your living in your world and since is your world, your the boss