Anonymous
dealing with not being unique 2016-10-12 03:46:40 Post No.17661792
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dealing with not being unique 2016-10-12 03:46:40 Post No.17661792
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dealing with not being unique
Anonymous
2016-10-12 03:46:40
Post No. 17661792
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/adv/ can anyone help me out with the feeling of being not "unique"
I think I finally figured out some of the reason why I feel depressed and sad lately. but It seems like such a childish reason. So much so that it's making me more sad when I think about the reason.
anyways, the reason is because I keep coming back to the conclusion that I am not "uinque" I am merely a drop in the giant ocean of people out there. all of my aspirations and dreams that I want to be in life don't rely on me being exceptionally skilled or being even the best looking guy. but I figured out that I aspire to be unique, a one of a kind. however, I also figured out that I'm not that special nor unique, and there are literally a billion other people who are either like me or are me but better.
is it wrong to be sad because of this? I don't exactly know how I can deal with this realization. honestly, I've felt like ending my life is the right call, after all, the world will keep spinning even if I die, right?
please help /adv/.
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pic with haruhi not related
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>>17661792
There's only one of you dipshit.
How you feel can't be wrong.
Your opinion of the world and how it functions seems to be the problem - from my point of view. If you want to change, start there. How do you see the world and does it conflict your feelings.
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>>17661830
> If you want to change, start there
it's not that I want to change. I just want to be unique, I don't want to be an "NPC" if that makes sense.
think about it this way. the people that you've met that go right out of your head the moment that you're done talking with them. I don't want to be that person.
at the same time this conflicts with my value that fame and tranquility cannot coexist. to that end I don't wish to be famous, or even well known. I just don't want to be another face in the crowd.
even typing all this now seems so childish. but damnit it's true. you or I don't really matter in this world. in 50 years unless you've done something to really fuck up humanity no one will remember you. in 100 years no one will care that you existed.
I understand that the relief is to live my life the way that makes me happy regardless of how I will be remembered. but there's something about not being special or unique that really gets me.
like I said, it's not even about being famous, its like not being the main character, its like being an NPC.
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I have a female friend that I'm really attracted to. But I've always tried not to get too close, because she had a boyfriend and so obviously I didn't want to make things weird by expressing any desire for her. I just found out a couple of days ago that apparently her boyfriend dumped her like 3 weeks ago and I just never heard about it. So when I heard the first thought that popped into my head was "oh holy fuck I have a chance now." The question is: how do I not fuck this up and get friend zoned or worse? A big part of the problem is that I'm a kissless virgin with literally zero relationship experience, so I have no idea what I'm doing or how to proceed.
Help me, /adv/, you're my only hope.
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>>17661746
best learn to read body language br0. If it's all good do whatever is natural. What do you enjoy about her? Hanging out? Go do something you both enjoy. Talking? Take on intimate date. boobies/vajay jay? Solicit secks.
but what do I know, also kissless virgin.
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are you okay being a rebound fuck?
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>>17661769
Speaking of taking her on dates, how do I do that? I guess I should mention the only time I get to see her is at a mutual friend's house who always has a bunch of peeps over on Saturdays for hanging out/vidya games/etc. How do I ask her to hang out outside of that without being a complete derp?
>>17661801
probably
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>Be me
>Last night at party
>girl compliments me on what Im wearing
>I just sit next to her and put arm around her and she fucking leans into
>I was incredibly drunk so I thought she was just being friendly
>holding my fucking hand
>just cuddling at this point
>party gets shut down by cops
>walking her up the stairs holding her hand
>hug her goodbye and get her Snap chat and She follows me on Insta
I barely know her and I think I love her, what the fuck do I do? She was with another guy today as well and Im too much of a pussy to snap her if Im not drunk. What the fuck do I do
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>>17661738
Chill, you just met her. It might not be love just yet. That might sound harsh, but I'm trying to stop you from getting hurt on the off chance that your feelings aren't reciprocated. However, send her a Snapchat. Just something silly or just something saying hey, once you get past the stage of actually sending the first snap then you'll feel a lot better and everything will feel more natural. I'd you really think you might be in love with this girl then you have to do it.
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>>17661738
>I barely know her and I think I love her
better get it boy it's probably the last chance your autistic ass is going to get.
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Congrats OP, you've found yourself a girl who's into you! Just don't overplay your hand, be confident and aloof, invite her out on a date and -- oh wait I didn't read that first part.
>>be me
Yeah, you're screwed, anon.
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I want a way out of loneliness. Not the mediocre way of interacting with one another as an neighbor or stranger. I want a good friend, a girlfriend. Someone who feels me. I don't have anywhere to go with this. I wanted to share.
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It's going to have to start with your run of the mill interactions with people. There might not be a lot of success and it might be hard to find the right people, but that will only make the relationships you do eventually forge that much better.
Strong relationships take time and effort, anon. If you just get yourself out there it'll happen.
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>>17661754
bit young indeed. i'm 25. Don't worry about it till you are dying.
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>>17661754
Don't worry, you're still young. I know how it feels to see other people happy in relationships around you, but just wait. When you meet the right girl it'll all be worth it.
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I just vomited on my bed and floor.
What do?
pic unrelated
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that chick's shorts go up to her belly button.
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>>17661755
They're called high waisted and its very in this season
t.fashionista
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>>17661762
lol it goes up to her belly button.
I need help /adv/.
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years tomorrow. When we first met, he told me pretty quickly he was broke because of porn addiction but getting help for it. As time went on, he stopped getting help but cut back on paid porn but in the process, my self confidence went down. We communicate a lot so we have discussed fetishes and everything in between.
Throughout this whole thing, we could easily go months without sex unless I bring it up and we fight about it. He watches porn as soon as I am out of sight and so by the time I get home, he doesn't want to have sex and if he does initiate sex, it's very robotic.
I fucked up and started sleeping with a friend. I have no feelings for him apart from the sex is amazing, he makes me feel so sexy and wanted. He gives me oral, which my boyfriend never does. I always give my boyfriend oral sex and he never tries to return the favor. My boyfriend is rarely horny but my friend gets insane boners as soon as I am near him.
I love my boyfriend so much but I can't stop resisting my friend. I never know when my boyfriend is going to be in the mood for sex so I have sex with my friend only after my boyfriend doesn't initiate sex. I leave it up to him to initiate because he told me he feels pressured if I initiate, so we leave it up to him to get things going.
Everything is great between us apart from this. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop this thing I have going on with my friend. I have a normal sex drive and if he would just have more sex with me and be willing to experiment and let me open up sexually to him, we would be a great couple.
Things are getting awkward with my friend because he started sending me flowers and I have to hide them or throw them away. He told me he loved me numerous times although he knows I love my boyfriend and not him. I don't know what to do. I wanted to be enough for my boyfriend but after 5 years of this and the fact I keep finding porn is breaking me.
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You should dump him purely based on the fact that he's retarded enough to go broke from spending money on an easily acquired FREE resource.
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>>17661692
At the time, he was living off his parents and in uni. Basically, all his money went on porn because he had nothing else going on in his life. It eventually became an addiction.
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you should break up with him.
you should let him know you were sleeping with a guy friend.
>he makes me feel so sexy and wanted.
>but my friend gets insane boners as soon as I am near him.
you should also realize that the reason girls have guy friends is because of this and they all try to keep it a secret.
I don't think I'll ever be able to handle a committed relationship. Just thinking about shutting down all other possibilities because i have to stay loyal to one person sounds depressing.
Well i just one day magically find that one person who makes me loyal? I know this sounds childish but I like having crushes. It's fun.
Im romantically involved with a guy long distance right now but I can't stop thinking about being in a relationship with a guy in my rhet class or a guy in my rotc class. I need advice plz
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Bumperino. Plz respond
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Poly is a thing, but it's pretty shitty to get into more than one relationship if the other people aren't aware and ok with it, which many aren't.
That being said, why do you commit to relationships if you want to be with more than one person? Why don't you just date people and drop them if they want to get serious and become exclusive?
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>>17662099
This is the first "relationship" ive ever been committed to. I put quotations because we have never been on a date, or kissed, or done anything like that. But we do seem to be in a romantic monogamous relationship.
Ive been asked out a couple times and i feel like that i already commitment. I always say no because i prefer the chase over them actually returning my feelings.
Hey, /adv/. I'm a long-time lurker, first-time poster, and I desperately need some advice, and I don't have many friends to confide in, much less to give me even semi-rational advice.
My (ex?)-girlfriend and I got into a big fight about two months ago, and we mutually agreed to take a break from each other. Around a week after that, we ended up getting drunk and ditching her friends to have sex (not something we regularly do, can count on my hands how many times we've done it in the past 3 years). Woke up the next day and we made another mutual agreement to never talk about it, and we went on our merry way. But something clicked in her I guess, and she's started being a lot more affectionate than before (she hasn't said the L word since we 'took a break', though). We've been talking and stuff, but have refrained from spending any more time alone with each other.
Well three weeks ago, I met a girl that used to be friends with my girlfriend (our relationship isn't public, and it's not something we really bother ever mentioning to people because she (18) is in high school, and I (19) am in college, so it gets confusing to talk about). For the sake of the story, I'm calling my ex(?) T and her former friend L from here on out. After meeting L, I mentioned her to T, who became super agitated, so I haven't mentioned L since then. But L and I have been hanging out nearly every day, just playing video games and talking about life and stuff. WELL, L and I ended up sleeping with each other while she was housesitting for her parents last week. We haven't talked about it since, but now we've been a lot closer.
And this leads up to my predicament. T expressed that she wanted to get back together just a few hours ago to me (haven't replied or posted anything anywhere since). A mere 5 minutes ago, L called and said she wanted "to be more than friends with benefits, or whatever you call this", and asked if she could take me to dinner (I'm a fucking beta, please kill me).
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Man up, DUMP T and get with L, she sounds sweet and genuinely into you. All the best.
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>>17661640
Meh, it's obvious your ex-gf sees you as valuable now that you proved you can get other girls.
Ditch her, it's an awful reason to go back with someone, along with getting dumped by a new boyfriend and go back with the old one to cope with loneliness and failure.
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> oh nooo 2 girls love me wut do I do
fuck off Chad McNormie
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>assigned homework problems in prep for the test
>go through the steps in my head while looking at the answers and the steps to get there and feel in agreement
>don't do any of the rudimentary calculations
Is this enough or do I need to grind through all the heavy calculations? I feel like I know what I'm doing but I don't want to be cucked tomorrow if I realize that for whatever reason I am unable to go through the "number crunching" part.
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Grind, grind, grind.
I didn't do that and now I suck a dick. If you feel being "cucked", then it's definetely something wrong out there.
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>>17661599
At my Uni, every professor ever has told me that looking at an answer key will never be enough. You need to be able to set up a question and do all the work to finish it.
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If you are "unable" to do the number crunching now dont expect to be able to magically do it at the exam.
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Need some serious advice here guys. I just started a job as an accountant at a new company a couple of months ago and have been training under the controller to do the various tasks. Today, the controller and another coworker in our group went out for lunch and according to the other coworker, he said that he smelled alcohol on my breath today. This is totally baseless as I haven't drank for days.
Here's the kicker, the controller has cancer and part of the reason why I was hired was that he was taking reduced duties (working half days and taking weeks off at a time for treatment) and they were short staffed. I suspect he's paranoid about me edging him out of his role and he might be doing this as a result. Or maybe the cancer is fucking with his sense of smell, I dunno...
I've considered that the other coworker is stirring up shit, but I don't thinks that's likely due to my assessment of her personality so far and the fact that she wouldn't have anything to gain because she and I aren't directly competing for a role. (I'm a CPA like the controller, whereas she's more of an HR/Payroll person without a CPA).
There is also another person above us (VP, Finance) who've I considered talking about this to. Not sure if I should atm and pretend that I don't know about the accusation. It's not like the controller made an official complaint, though office gossip of this nature can be damaging to reputations. Although if he does say some shit to the VP of finance in the future, it's on record that his credibility has been questioned if I do bring it up to the VP.
I'm thinking I won't do anything or say anything for the moment, but I'm pretty pissed off desu. What should I do?
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Good luck mate, because he's been there longer than you he can be a lying sack of shit and have it fly. If you bring it up or make it a battle you'll lose, if he wants you to lose, you'll lose. You can't fight this shit without being dirty. Do you really wanna fight dirty with a man with cancer though? Your call.
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You better start recording your conversations.
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You could always just wait it out... He won't be around much longer
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Hey /adv/ quick question is "Antagonisingly" a word for example "Anon antagonisingly greeted me". thanks
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>>17661555
Antagonistically is a word, that means more or less what you're trying to say. Have you heard of a dictionary my dude?
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>>17661555
One quick google search will show you that it's not a word. Dafuq is wrong with you?
It's "antagonistically" like this anon said>>17661969
however if you're writing a story or something, I wouldn't use that word. it sounds dumb in that sentence
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What the others have said. When you're using antagonistic as a descriptive, you use "antagonistically"
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I need your help bros. My girlfriend broke up with me last mid-August. A month later in mid September we had an amazing reunion where she kissed me twice and kept hugging me, etc. Later in the month we met up again, I got another hug and we had an equally amazing time filled with laughter, smiles, etc.
I'm trying to meet up with her again but it's proving tricky. She says she's working until closing, which is 10:00 PM on the weekend that I wanted to hangout. I then told her that any day is fine, but she told me that this week she's going to be busy with moving out of the house...On her weekday days off I'm taking it.
So, I'm thinking about sending her this message:
"Hey hey quick update: apparently the restaurant doesn't close until 1 AM on Fri/Sat, and until 12AM Sun-Thur. Family in Aloha is letting me stay overnight anytime too.
But before you'd be up for that...Any next time you're available for me, would you enjoy being a food critic for a vegan meal that I'd prepare at your place?"
It'll update her that closing time is fine due to the restaurant hours, AND it'll show her that I've changed, by learning how to cook since we've broken up.
Should I send that, or wait for her to reply THEN update her with that? We last time on Friday night - should I wait until Thursday to send this?
Halp! I'm 26.
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>>17661547
Also should I CALL her and tell her that instead of just text her?
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>>17661547
Here's our text conversation
I'm blue, she's orange
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>>17661584
She's keeping you at arm's length. She gave you an excuse and then another even more vague excuse when you tried to press for a future commitment. If she really wanted to spend time with you, she would've countered with something else (another time, another activity, etc.)
Don't put too much stock on the kiss and hugs and smiles etc. There's always going to be some part of you that misses your ex and that may even be expressed when you come into contact with them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to make the conscious decision to get back together with you.
If you really want to try for it anyway, always call instead of texting when in doubt. Having a phone conversation puts someone on the spot and you come off as someone confident and not afraid to have an actual conversation. Tons of texting and messaging = you're insecure and want to stay behind the safety of communicating where you don't need to immediately respond or think on your feet.
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How do I salvage this situation?
>Pic related
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Oh my god op, I'm sorry.
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>>17661557
Is it really that bad?
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>>17661546
Never mention 4chan irl
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I am a diagnosed schizophrenic and lately I have been stealing money and drugs from my family. They keep saying if I continue my behaivor that they will send me away to a state hospital. I am not doing well in school and I am very depressed. I am fat and stupid and I don't have any friends. I am ugly don't have a girlfriend and no hobbies that I'm good at. All I do all day is drink water and smoke tobacco. How do I pull up my bootstraps and get my life together. This might sound like a stupid question, but I've been like this person for my entire life and I just want change.
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>>17661536
This site is 18+, piss off.
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I need someones help
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study more
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browse adv because I love helping people
I do it for months / years
feel good about it
how do I do it professionally?
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>>17661529
Five to seven years in grad school, then a post doc and the EPPP.
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>>17661529
Kill Ann Landers and take her place.
She might be dead already, I haven't checked.
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>>17661537
Kill Ned Flanders.