Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 230. page

>>18687522
continued:

I'm afraid to ruin my friendship with my best friend either by trying to make it a relationship and it fail or by withdrawing and her thinking I don't like her etc. I feel like it's going to come to a head one way or another. I just don't know how to rectify the situation. I'm not going to do anything with her unless she is single first and foremost. The reason why I'm writing is I feel like their relationship is coming to an end. So I'm afraid it will come up soon. Feel free to ask questions to give better advice. I'll reply asap. Thank you

>>18687527
escalate OP. Sleep with her as soon as possible. I've been in a similar situation as you. I never escalated with her and things inevitably disintegrated. I never talk to her now. I miss her dearly.

The truth is that you are going to lose your best friend if you do nothing. Your 'best friend' may as well already be gone. You want her to remain in your life? you need to romance her.

I never did what I should have when I was in your situation and every day I wonder what could have been.
its been nearly 4 years now since everything fell through for me

>>18687540
thank you for your reply.
I'd lie to say I've not considered what you mention here. At my birthday this year she was like on my couch posing sexy af and winked at me when she caught.... let's call it "looking" and kept eye contact til another friend walked me away lol. But you're right, if she wants romance she could stop talking to me if I don't do something...

It's either management, systems analyst or cabling and networking then? Database design? Sql? Anything?

Good luck getting something then. Start looking now and find out what you actually like to do. Took me a good 1.5 years to find something even though I had plenty of personal projects related to my interests.

Programming is easy and if you don't have it in you to teach yourself you may as well start selling drugs becaus nothing you do in life will be any easier than writing the retarded programs your school gives.

Sounds like she wants to go back to the first line of your post.

>>18687419
She probably just wants to be friends/fuck again??? why did you cut her off though. you know what this whole thing is weird why were you getting drunk and watching porn together if you weren't planning on fucking.

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>>18687430
I don't wanna say it's common, but in my experience with women who were just friends, sharing/recommending and talking about porn was pretty normal

you pity fuck her

jk just be a good friend

>>18687315
Why do you want to be invited to do it again? That sounds a bit odd. Like, you're using them being screwed up. Don't bother then.

>>18687315
Check in with her often. And i mean OFTEN. Even if you think you're going to be annoying (don't over do it though obviously). Don't wait for her to post a status or wait until its too late and she has done something bad. If you actually show you care and tell her, hey, please talk to me before you feel like doing so and so then she will see you as much more approachable. Show you actually care about how she's doing and that you're worried. Ask her often how she feels whether she has texted you or not. Be very proactive and supportive or you may actually make things worse by being another person who leaves her.

Source: I am a sad girl myself , sick of opening up to men for them just to leave/not actually give a shit.

I dunno, depends on the relationship.

But I can tell you what will happen afterwards. The dude will start thinking "ooh, possibilities for sexy time?" and then he'll start steering all conversations in that direction. He'll ask for more photos and video chats. He'll tell you you're sexy more. He'll ask you to flash him. He'll ask you to travel to his town.

Not that it's bad, but be aware that it's no indication of how much he cares about you. That stuff is going to happen that way regardless of if he likes you back.

do eet

though make sure he/she is of you preferred gender

>>18687272
Lol I did this and he ignored the messge completely and continued being a dick. Do not reccomend

>addicted to the most fucked up porn/fetishes you can imagine

Like what?..... I got a problem with an Amazon/Giantess fetish, I don't understand why I do but it sure as shit turns me on

>>18687221
>Like what?
I also want to know this

Time for a positive change in your life.

Start by changing your attitude. None of this shit is easy but only you can help yourself. No one else can do this for you. The sooner you understand this isn't easy the better. There is no easy way out but on the brightside, once you aknowledge a problem you are half way there to solving it. There is only SO much shit a person can take. How much more are you willing to put up with that?

I can't go into detail about everything. Try to set some goals and improving your life objectively. Start fitness, start a diet, start money mamagement, try working on some people skills, improve your hobbies, learn something new, read a book.

Yes this is very general but they are ideas. If you need a fren my skype is NeuroPhen. If you feel like you need a fren or wanna talk more you can contact me, if not try looking for personal development programes and definitely try volunteering. Helping others is a decent way of helping yourself too.

And most importantly of all, CUT THE WEIRD PORN. It's only messing with you and your sexuality. I'm not saying go for the nofap meme but definitely cut off weird porn.

Being cynical is just going to make you miserable.

Hopeful and naive all the way down.

>>18687051
Do not intentionally weigh the inner aspects of yourself, this will lead to ceaseless fracturing and chaos within your soul. Return to the uncarved block and view your own internal aspects as part of an interdependent spectrum.

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Bump

Okey oppe here goes

I can understand your situation as I myself have experienced a very similar sentiment. This for me happened in high school and was bullied a fuck ton for being the recluse video game kid, but I always wanted to be happy.

One thing I am completely sure about is that my situation improved once I started analyzing it. I tried to think down to the bottom of my problem. I had a "why am I like this" approach. And I really started thinking. I had confidence problems that really hurt me a lot, and while comparing yourself to others is bad, this is exactly what helped me. I tried to understand why other are doing well and why I (think) I'm doing bad.

The more thought I put into this I understood that having the right attitude and people around you can really help. I had an old childhood friend to rely on to try and get out more. And I tried to draatically improve my attitude. There is no easy way out, and only you can help yourself. Sure you can fake it til you make it but it will only ever get you so far, so to instill a positive attitude in yourself you need to start to genuinely believe it.

You need to think long and hard about what you value in life. I love vidya too and it's still a part of my life. But things that I loved about vidya I started to incorporate in my personal life. I like the companionship, so I started working on my people skills and making friends. I try to pick people to make great friends, people I can relate to and care about. To relate it to vidya, all these aspects you like about video games you can through work and time, translate to real life and you will hopefully in time feel more happy and fulfilled.

Also try to experiment with activities and hobbies because there are things you probably don't know you like. Like games? Wanna get better with people? Why not try a board game club?

>>18687194
Also when you try to accomplish your goal, try to think about your motivations behind it. The more logical and clearer your reasoning is, I think the easier it will be for you to stay on track with your goals because you will have already thought the implications through and now you understand how positively pursuing your goals can be and how detrimental it can be to not do so.

This sounds a little vague, but for example, I wanted to get /fit/ to feel better about myself, improve my self esteem and be objectively more attractive. These are pretty grounded reasons as to why I did it and reminding myself has helped me stay on track.

I've been to dozens of festivals, none of them have had sniffer dogs. You should be safe, op

If they arrested everyone trying to bring in drugs. Who would be left to attend???

>>18686985
Just do it all in the parking lot right before you go in...dumbass.

Catch the flu yourself.

>>18686937
No

>>18686961
It's inevitable.

You need to get off the internet.

If she accuses you of rape just call her a whore. It really works.

>>18686929
have sex with cute leopards instead. They can't say no!

>>18686769
It's the yandere effect. You have self esteem problem and are afraid you can't hold a relationship. that's why you are attracted to someone you will love you without compromise. Never start a relationship with such a women. I did the mistake twice. Do something in order to get some self worth and this "fetish" will disappear.

>>18687063
Like what?

>>18687934
All sorts of things m8. In my case I started getting /fitlit/. Been lifting 3 years and doing Kyoukushinkaiken Karate. At the same time I started 3 years ago getting /lit/. Mostly philosophiical stuff. A good body, some skill and knowledge will boost your confidence. Now I'm turned on by girls that aren't that easy to get. Don't forget to leave that NEET life behind you if you are enjoying it. Enjoyment doesn't make you a better and stronger person it's struggle. Become a wage cuck and enjoy your job.

But why?

>>18693884
If you want? Kinda looks fucking stupid to be honest.

>>18693889
Why not. It is more unique than getting a tatto from a stranger, because when a friend does it it adds meaning.

A smiley face because he is lacking skills for something else. On my arm because I don't think I should hide it and also it could be a conversation starter.

I can keep going .

>>18693722
I have successfully had an online relationship that graduated to IRL and am now married to her.

What form of online interaction do you have with her? MMO? social media only? What distance are we talking about? Across the country or states away?

Be honest with the online girl because if you are growing distant she won't know why. It'll hurt less if you tell her. You should probably try to be with the irl girl.

>>18693730
we live in the same country, and we mostly message each other through facebook, though we used to skype almost every day

>>18692230
What does your bf do that makes you excited to be with him?

>>18692230
Girls, Tell me your sex fantasy

>>18692264
Cucking you.