Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1942. page

>>18209037
If you are calling her a goddess, you are still beta.

The only thing I couldn't conquer was my anxiety about meeting her. It was always her who wanted to meet and I would find ways to delay because despite our calls and video chats. I was scared that she would reject me and then we would be done, and the thought of losing here hurt. Ultimately, she would always find a man and push me out of her life for a while. I couldn't blame her. I was some pussy who had nothing to offer except obsession.

This last time though, things were different. I had the means, the drive, and the confidence to meeter her. She was missing from my life for too long and I had too many regrets to let this go again. I love this girl. Physically, she is perfect and suits my tastes, but my connection to her is fucking spiritual. She could look like a sack of potatoes and I'd feel the same way.

Now, this isn't some unrequieted love, or maybe it is, but she played her part. I cant believe the things she said to me about her feelings for me, the depth of or conversations, or the dirty things that she did and said. I felt wanted. She acted as though she truly wanted me.

Yesterday, she told me that she was intimate with another person, and wanted to explore that. Her attitude toward me changed and I dont know if she is really sorry, or anything at all, for that matter. She gives a dozen excuses at once and I don't know what is real anymore, all I know is this pain that keeps me from working, sleeping, fucking breathing.

Maybe I was never her type, and shit just got too real. Maybe she is just a sad, broken girl. Maybe she is scared of me being disappointed. Maybe she is just a whore. All I can think about though is how much I care, how beautiful she is, and how good it felt to actually be wanted. I believed her. How can someone do these things? how can she come back into my life just to destroy me. I'm getting older and older and more lonely and every fucking time I get to a good place, she fucks me up.

My flight is still booked for thursday. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be a creep. That's not how I want this story to end. But I have to look her in the eyes and make her deal with this mess. If she cant love me, or wont love me, I need to see that. I need closure. I cant live my life waiting for the next time she comes around. I cant live my life loving her the way I do. This hurts so much more than it ever has before. I want to scare her away. If im not good enough for her, she should see it, so that she wont want to pursue me again. Or maybe I just want to have coffee with her, make her a tangible part of my life so that I don't feel like some asshole who gives way too much credit to a girl with no feeling toward me. And i'm embarrassed, because once again, I bragged about this wonderful gilr to my friends, coworkers, family, andd they are all wishing me luck. I cant face them with this truth.

I try to imagine what could happen if I went, and I can romanticize it all I want, but I'm probably going to end up sitting in a hotel room in her hometown crying without ever seeing her face. I'm just crazy enough to do that.

>>18209010
You need high SAT scores (2200+). Also, it helps if you have some sort of documented engineering achievement (for example, creating something and having an article written about it), or if your a minority (required test schools are lower for certain groups)

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>>18209025
ty

You need a 'catch' to get into these types of schools nowadays. Valedictorian, perfect SATs, and notable extra curriculars are NOT enough. People who get into these schools have: started their own volunteer organization, played clarinet with their local orchestra, created an app with thousands of downloads, created a new business that gives shoes made of tires to Africans, immigrated from a war-torn country, etc.

In terms of clothes there is no general advice. Depends on your job, age, taste, budget and the occasion. A general advice on (tuxedo/)suits, be willing to pay serious money, resist the cheap off the shelf combinations, they always look as cheap as they are (material as well as the shitty fit). For most occasions (except superconservative sectors like finance), all you need is a fitting (taylor fitted) suit jacket, cloth or denim pants, leather shoes, a matching shirt and some accessories like a decent belt. Don't take my word, for it, wear what you want to and what fits the occasion.
Oh and olfactory wise: Don't use eau de toilette/perfume in combination with a scented deodorant and/or scented after shave(only pre/early pubescent teenagers and some oddball foreign "cultures" should do it). Good eau de toilette can be expensive but a bottle of good stuff will last. Rather use too little than too much of your perfume, your nose adapts quite fast and you stop smelling your fragrance but trust me, if you apply untill you smell it again, others will probably faint in that cloud you're leaving. It actually happened to me once during a meeting in China. For some reason, the client's chinese CEO had literally bathed himself in what appeared several perfumes, used at least 3 different aftershaves on his pubes (he didnt seem to have much beard to shave) and resprayed with all deodorants he could find in the building. After sitting next to him for 20mins my vision literally got blurry and I started seeing stars.

>>establishing contact: (depending on age/

THE SHY GUY SLOW APPROACH
Next, when youre out (doesn't matter where), don't avoid looking at people, in public transport don't avoid looking at people...
Just letting that cute girl over there know you noticed will make initiating a conversation much easier (don't stare at her, let her catch you looking a few times) . Your cheeky "dammit she saw it" smile !without looking at her! will set the tone for your approach.
Seriously, don't stare her down, just check if she starts glancing at you aswell.
[If you're really lucky and she already took interest in you, she will return your smile and maybe even allow eye contact for a bit. ONLY IN tHIS CASE: Initiate a straighforward conversation, introduce, ask her out, get her number.]
STANDARD BUSINESS
In most cases getting a phone number/date with high success rate bit more :)
Anyways, now it's time to find your courage, walk up to her and just say "Hi..uhm...excuse me... could you tell me [insertrandomquestion]"(don't introduce right away) and ask for help/advice/whatever. (If you're not shy you can just walk up to a person, ask for a lighter, directions, opening hours of the place you're at, pub transport schedules, be creative and try to ask a question she can answer!

The idea behind YOU asking HER for something will make your approach much more comfortable for your target. By asking her for help you're giving her control of the situation while justifying your approach. Also: Her helping you makes her brain reward her with an instant shot of dopamin(the happy/satisfied/comfty hormone) and she might even initiate a further conversation with you out of curiosity. (Depending on what you told/asked her ofc)

>>good, you're talking:

Now tell her you're new in town or you don't know your way around and if she can recommend any places for meeting people. She might name some places and you can continue asking stuff like which place to go on which day of the week, general music/scene at place x, any upcoming parties etc.
Great, you just found out where she will probably spend her weekend. (Her subconscience makes her automatically sort the list of places she mentions by her preference). If she has to "think" like:"places to meet people... uhm... well I think you cold try X" she focused too much on the meeting people and the order will not be right. No problem though, you can always ask here where to go for a good drink or dancing or her "secret tip in your city".

Keep the conversation alive, if it dies down it is probably time for a "planned apology" and a quick and dirty introduction, kinda like "...well thanks for all your help! ... oh I am sorry, totally forgot... I'm <Mike>"
By introducing you will get her surname as a bonus.
Now is your turn to make a subtle compliment "wow that's a beautiful name" but don't stop there, don't wait for her to react to your compliment.(making compliments in this humble and spontaneous way adds to credibility which also triggers a bit more dopamin in her brain)

They shouldn't be asking you to work during your interview. That's fucked up.

Dress well, nicer than diners at McDonald's would. Be extra polite, more than the average McDonald's cashier.

Show them you are willing to actually put some effort on and they'll fucking love you. I worked a shitty retail job for five years, but I actually put in effort and management loved me for it. Made the job much easier.

>>18208803
Yea, NZ laws allow for employers to do trial periods. short ones like mine are unpaid but longer ones are paid.

i feel like a shirt and tie would be over the top ? Im going to have to go into town and buy some clothes anyway as all i own is scruffy band march and jeans. So if anyone has any recommendations of specific cloth choices that would be sweet.

Yea, im willing to put in an effort, im trying to save money to move city, i want a retail / customer job so when i move i can hopefully get another one.

>>18208873
If you dont own a shirt and tie and some slacks, absolutely buy them and wear them to the interview. The interviewer will know you are taking it seriously, they won't knock points off for dressing well.

You fucked up OP. Meanwhile I was thinking this is gonna be one of those white x muslim love stories that always go bad. I think your situation is much better. Dont tell her and cover your tracks.

>>18208819
I don't plan to. But seeming as how this other chick went to the same university, I'm worried it'll get down the grapevine. Everyone knows I'm in an LDR with this girl, and that I'm moving down there. It's a pretty small school, just hoping there's no common connections

>>18208783
humans are impulsive and emotional. sometimes we do things without thinking of the consequences in the long term, just to fulfil our emotional needs in that moment.

you need grow yourself into a more selfless person so you wont cheat again.

>>18208782
How do you know you have high T? If anything, during losing fat, your T production should go down.

Post start fat bmi and stop slim bmi and how long you were unfattening yourself.

And balding is mostly genetic unless you are in anorexia mode.

>>18208841
I know I'm high t because of "primary and secondary sexual features" and kinda high sexual drive, It's part genetic I'm sure but I can guarantee It's above avarage.
BMI is 24.5, but I have a wide build.
I've had a lot of stress from the uni and on super low carb which gave me high cortisol.

My body hair grew like a motherfucker when I began to lift weights, eat more fat, and test increased.

Can't you get your relatives or friends in your homecountry to help you with the documents, maybe give them instead of you. If you gotta finish some administration fast in your homecountry knowing a few people can speed it up.

>>18208793
Everything is done in person only.
And the only question is how to leave EU.

You dun goofed. You knowingly broke the rules. Now you will need to face the consequences. Next time learn to do your visa stuff correctly. Your chances of being caught leaving the EU and deported and banned are high.

Your only possible hope is getting married to a EU citizen fast.

It's just sugar.

You probably shouldn't act this preachy. I understand it's coming from the right place, but you started sounding like an annoyance to your brother and that probably has damaged your relationship a bit.

Most people don't react well to being preached to, especially if 1) it demonizes something they enjoy and 2) they percieve the other person to be an hypocrite, and you crossed both boxes with this.

You cannot make your brother stop drinking cola, it's just not happening. If he ever wants to, he will, but in the meantime you shouldn't nag at him about it because it'll accomplish literally nothing.

You also didn't talk about any symptoms he might show. What specifically are you worried about, and why do you think you have cause to worry ? Depending on his age its perfectly normal to only care about sweet things.

>>18208745
There's about 30 grams of sugar in a 0.33l can. So roughly 10 grams per 100ml. Meaning there's about 150 grams of sugar in a 1.5L bottle. I know it's just sugar. But an unhealthy amount of it.
>>18208747
He's 23... I reckon I phrased it wrong. I didn't bluntly tell him. Stop drinking the poison juice. I just told him I was concerned a bit about how much of it he drinks every day. And that diabetes isn't a fun thing to have.

I'm worried about his health. Diabetes, risk of heart disease, getting properly overweight. I fear that it'll be too late when he figures it out himself. And I always stop when I get the feeling that he's like yeah whatever bro. And then tell him it's his life, but I'm just concerned.

They're not drawing your cunt, they're focusing on the form of your body, that's the point of you being naked in the first place.

Do whatever you need to feel comfortable as long as your curves and general anatomy are exposed, it's fine.

The whole point of drawing nude models is to appreciate a real human body. Shave or don't shave, they don't care.

Just trim nicely if you are too insecure about how it looks. Pubic hair are more desired when it comes to art. Remember that you're not doing porno here but to be part of helping art students to draw in details of the human anatomy.

I suspect you're as dumb as a pile of bricks but I'm intrigued: how do you plan to scam them?

seems like you would be an obvious suspect in this scam, with limited opportunity now that you may or may not have been fired by a third black guy

1000 dollars is not worth the potential complications of it being brought to light, the risk / reward is completely skewed against you, don't do it.

Think about how good the rest of your life is aside from this decision.

I'm assuming you were doing something illegal?

Was it $1500 USD in currency or commodity?

"Hey guys i made a horrible decision which resulted in shitty consequences, BUT I WONT ACTUALLY TELL YOU THE REASON AND MY DECISION BUT PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE REGARDLESS OF MY LACK OF INFORMATION

Fucking moron, hope you end up losing more

>>18208600
https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLFfM65xLnO-GGdbO5yYuQvaKOhG6j1Ih7&v=Bsyplaii9p4

>>18208600
By playing multiple roles obviously, and generally not worrying about this shit.

>your true inner self
It doesn't exist. "You" is just a clusterfuck of external factors, previous external factors that shaped how you perceive new ones and a bit genetics sprinkled it. All this "finding yourself" crap is just navel gazing that doesn't lead anywhere.

>>18208600
by not repeating the same fuckin long ass sentence both at the title and the paragraph

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Down one of these badboys every day

>>18208532
they should have called that sunny c, all it is is crushed yellow war heads dissolved in water.

You only need like 10 minutes of direct sunlight in a day to get your vitamin D.

>>18208451

I am going through a breakup and I can tell you that texting that person back is a bad idea. Here's why:

the relationship isn't the same and the more you text the more you cling to the past. it just fucks with your head after a while.

her reasoning is pointless and most likely just some bullshit. it will never help you to move on or move forward from the breakup.

I texted my ex multiple times trying to figure shit out when she dumped me with flaky reasoning and it did nothing for me. it just made everything worse because you wrap your mind around it and focus way too much on it and you'll convince yourself the relationship was perfect.

She's not feeling it now, she's not going to start feeling it later. Shit's over. You can't get her back. The quicker you accept this the quicker you'll move on. Texting her will not bring anything positive, not even closure. It doesn't matter the reason. She's no longer interested in a relationship with you and that's that. You're delaying your healing process.

Let that chapter of your life come to a close. Change up your shit. Go different places, meet new people, exercise more, and become a different person. Get rid of your old self that was with this girl.

Girls only change their mind about a guy if they start feeling some sort of envy when thinking about him, so when they discover he had something they did not know about before hand (money, muscles, any sort of attractive skill).

You have precisely 0% chance of changing her mind by hanging around her like a sad puppy.

>>18208445

Chew gum, eat sunflower seeds, anything to satisfy the urge to eat.

>>18208453
>eat sunflower seeds

This is awful advice. Seeds and nuts are the second highest category in calorie dense foods. The only thing above it is strait up eating fat and oil.

The trick OP is not to stop eating but to eat more low calorie foods. Stock your fridge with vegetables and eat them all throughout the day.

An entire pound of cabbage is only a little over 100 calories and will fill you up.

>>18208463

You chew them for awhile then spit them out, dingus