Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1936. page

>>18210053
Nice blog. Upvoted.

>>18210067
No opinion?

You will lack from theoretical background /mathematics if you choose this way.

If you are content developing with just programming then go ahead.

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Maybe he really just wants to be friends. Not much you can do about if he doesn't make a move first.

>>18210120
perhaps not even that. He might as well just tell me he is not interested :/

>>18210145
You know, maybe the awkwardness comes from the expectations of both of you.
From my experience, you should just sit down, eye to eye, and call things by their name.
No "I want something more", just "I want us to be together, let's see if it works out, and if not, I'm sorry". Something like that, you know.
Be as honest as you can possibly be and ask him to be honest.
You want to be with him, you do not want an illusion of being with him.

You will never know if you won't be honest.

>>18210005

confidence is not some all encompassing magic that applies to everything.

the man who is confident he can get the girl isn't always confident that he can pass the test, get the promotion, make the dive, or whatever you want to fucking apply it to.

the truth is that you are being sold a lie that things all boil down to 'confidence'. at its base level, its true, but there is not some all encompassing element to it.

what are you good at? be confident in that. what are you bad at? being confident in that is not going to work, people know what you are or arent capable of, and when you aren't capable of something but are confident about it, its just called arrogance.

you can have confidence in outside sources. for instance, social rules. a lot of betas act like simply talking to someone is going to giet them some sort of demerit on their personal record. but even if it goes embarrassingly wrong, you dont see those people ever again., they forget about oyu in an hour, or a day at most, and what happened literally didn't matter. so there is no reason /not/ to talk to new people.

the only time it sticks is if they actually like you and work to see you more.

tell us what you want to have confidence in and we can try and break that down but confidencei s literally just the belief in the truth of something. without a truth its just arrogance.

after I got my first well paying respectable job my confidence really increased

you should try that OP

>>18210030

this is actually a different kind of confidence i didn't go over in the post above.

like i said, confidence cannot be all encompassing, but it can be compensating.

people who seem to have all encompassing confidene don't, they just don't sweat the areas they don't have confidence in because it doesn't matter. they can be confident in the fact that they are still a person of value based on what they do have confidence in, so not being able to do certain things isn't a worry.

how about you just dont plagiarize ?

>>18209992
I haven't plagiarised, a previous student's work is showing as being really similar to mine even though I have no idea who they are.

>>18209989
>renumerate
Trips or GTFO.

Usually nobody responds to me, but I'm trying anyway. Maybe I just need to vent. I'm probanly doing it wrong, sorry.

>1
Neglectful, yes. I think he cared, but he couldn't show it. He wasn't a bad man. Still he never supported me in anything and never even really talked to me.
>2
Not controlling. Too coddling. Didn't set any boundaries at all, so I still have problems respecting other's boundaries.
>3
When I was a teenager, yes. It didn't feel good at all, like many say. I needed it to feel bad. Everything was going too well and I didn't feel like I didn't deserve it. I felt like hurting myself would be what I deserved. I still do it, but nowadays I only burn myself with boiling water etc.
>4
I was actually diagnosed bipolar 2. Funnily enough, I'm an artist. I take lots of medication to be even able to function, but I'm glad to have them.
>5
Oddly enough, when I was a child, someone held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me. He didn't even want money, he just did it for fun. Since that day I'm really afraid of what humans can do. Before the medication I could never sleep more than two hours, flashbacks of this and several other minor events (phone terror etc.) haven't made life easier.

Seems like I really needed to went.
Well, my advice would be, if you're bipolar, take your medication, even if you don't want to. It might end up saving your life.

And my question would be: how do you connect to other people?

>>18210013
Nevermind the typos please, I'm really tired. Will be going to bed now, maybe someone will even respond, that would make my day

>>18210013
I sure hope you're still here. I was at the gym.

>1
Same here. Guy's got aspergers probably.
>2
Interesting, I guess I sometimes have some fo the same issues.
>3
Hmmmmm.. it's an outlet for me. I loved it. I'm 20 now, did it mostly when I was 19.
>4
Glad to have what? The feelings? The medication? I'm type 1 and I hate it too, but I guess it gives me 'special powers'.
>5
Phone terror? Please do tell.

That's good advice, I try to make sure to follow it as often as I can.

Very... hard. I know a lot of people, a lot of people know me.. but the emotional part is often not there. I have a few friends I really care deeply about, I have my moments of caring, I've been in love like once (that failed not of my own fault but because of some accidents, she like(s)d me too but something came in between). It's really, really tough and my life is something very surreal.

File a restraining order. Give the cops a good reason to lock him up next time he tries this shit.

Since the cops took him you have proof of the threat. Get a gun or a dagger, both are ideal for females because they don't require much strenght. Pepper spray is hard to use in close range, you can get in the spray cloud yourself and if he's tough he might partially shrug it off.

And be ready to defend yourself. If you pull a knife to him, stab him on his face if he makes any move towards you. Move your arms fast and hit him where it will make him stop: eyes, lungs and even a deep cut on his arm might get him in shock from all the blood pouring out.

>>18209914
This is when you call the cops, OP.

>>18209861

are you BITTER about your future or just comfortable being single?

look if you're single and miserable about it, then it probably is worth trying to compromise despite what you say.

that being said, if you are happy being single and dont really mind, then theres nothing wrong with that. not everyone wants to date, and not everyone wants to settle down, and its okay to be in the middle, having flings here and there but not jumping on any girl who is willing to settle for you like the rest of the masses tend to do.

the problem here is that you seem to be talking about it rather often if your parents and friends are irritated. if you're happy being single there is no reason to talk about it too often, and especially not in a bitter way.

but from what it sounds like you do want all those things and are just being whiny about the costs.

figure out which it is and take the lesser of the 12 evils.

if you are super fine being single but people just bring it up and force a talk about it, then that is your cross to bear. unfortunately there is no perfect life and no matter what you do, there is going to be some consequence. a consequence for single people is others often telling them they need to date, and often being left alone when those who do date end up with less time for platonic friends.

the best you can do is seek out like minded males for long term friendships and simply don't engage when people want to talk about how you are going to 'die alone'.

frankly theres nothing really wrong with dying alone imo.

>>18209870

Well, all of my friends and my parents knew me as "that guy" who always wanted a relationship or was always talking about girls, or was always dating girls, or always had something going on with a girl that I could talk about, to suddenly a complete, grinding, halt. It's not that I talk about it a lot, it's just the absence of it from my life that's so sudden for people. And it's not like I stopped finding women attractive.

So like, it's weird for my friends who go out with me and we'll be like "oh that chick is hot," and they'll tell me to go talk to her, and I'll outright refuse - sometimes I'll go into the "you guys know I don't want to see anyone blah blah blah" conversation, but I've been trying to cut it down to just a concise "no," so I don't get accused of talking about it. But they all I know I haven't had sex in almost three years, and have made out with one girl in that time, and they have no clue why I've given up and imagine I can't be happy.

And I wouldn't say I AM happy, but also the few dates I've been on have been mediocre to bad, and have reminded me how much I hated my last relationship with every fiber of my being.

With my parents, it's more pushy and I guess I just get more aggressive. I guess everyone figures there's something deeper behind such a huge personality change.

>>18209888

there is. its a pretty deep change, but that doesn't make it bad. but if you aren't happy thats probably why people are concerned.

ultimately its like i said, even if this is your ideal sitaution that makes you happy, its still your crosss to bear.

im permasingle and love it. stopped dating three years ago and feel so free. but my friends comment on it all the time. one time i just texted my friend 'IM SO LONELY SEND HELP'

and he got all smug like
>OH BEING SINGLE ISN'T ALL ITS CUT OUT TO BE HUH?

i was literally at home for the last week with strep throat and bored becuase i couldn't do anything, not because i was single.

but this is what we deal with in exchange for such freedom so its a fair trade.

>>18209821
Ask her to hang out at your place for a game night.

>>18209821

dinner and a movie at your place.

>>18209835
>>18209839
Good advice. I'll try that, probably going the movie route

>>18209793
Probably nothing to worry about.

>>18209793
if you did its just best to relax and enjoy it

have fun, the owner will probably tell you later.

>>18209815
>>18209852
Ok thanks.

I feel like I've traveled to another dimension made of love, and also my mouth is really fucking dry.

>>18209743
>about two months ago, i met a guy on Tinder.
>I feel like I want to spend my whole life with him.

You're an idiot.

>>18209743

regardless of where this relationship goes, its a good lesson to learn that any fantasies of permanence are just that, fantasy.

imagine if you sat down and took two bites of a really delicious meal and then unironically said 'i want to only eat this for the rest of my life'

a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts. romance is the most fragile of human relationships.

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what's the problem with that? i know it's kinda cliche but i know what i feel like. it's enough time for me to get know this person

>>18209703
Okay, here's what you do anon: Chill the fuck out.

It's been a few weeks. What the fuck are you trying to push so hard to get some sort of commitment out of her?

>>18209722

>i've never been in a relationship before

>>18209741
Well if you think pressuring girl with trust issues into sex will speed the things up, you are probably right. She will break up with him in no time.

What do you want op? Fast sex or long relationship? Ask her on dates and make sure she knows you like her in both romantic and lustful way. Fap in the meantime or get easier girl.

>>18209687

you should never stop job hunting until they tell you that you have the job

>>18209687
Have you called them? I've gotten jobs I thought I did terrible on because I showed I really wanted the job.

>>18209689
Of course not, but what I'm trying to gauge is whether there is any hope for this job still or if I'm dead in the water after this long of not hearing anything.

>>18209675
Why do you need someone to escort you to a well?

>>18209675
It is almost same as asking girl out on a date in this case.

You find your balls in a freezer, attach them back where they belong and use the courage to take the action.

Chances of it being honey trap are low. Scam is like 50%. Try to get yourself into strip club first.

Bruh I've been in this game for 10 years and it's easier than ever

Not gonna type out the tldr here but just email me (it's my throwaway) and I'll give you the DL

Put 4chan in the subject so I know it's you

[email protected]

>>18209538
You just need time to cool off, and something constructive to do. There's no magic cure.
Go outside and do something physical, that might help.

You have to forgive her if you ever want to begin to move on. If you hang on to the anger it will stunt you emotionally and harm your health. Whatever she did, it's in the past now. Imagine 15 years down the road you're still resenting her and she's moved on and all but forgotten about you? In that case she "wins". Just let it go. I know it's hard but you have to let it go for you.

>>18209564
Ty for reply. I just feel burnt as fuck. I go to all my classes, I study, I go to the gym, I go out on the weekends. I just can't fucking stop being pissed.

miss spelled, i am in tokyo.

citizen of tokyo, japanese.

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>>18209508
Sup Hiro, in terms of a working holiday (say like 4-6 months) are there actually any jobs that foreigners can do that aren't english teaching?

>>18209508
Is teaching english my best chance for a job in Japan? How much do you need to have for a basic entry level job in any workplace?