So I'm in a little bit of a pickle. TL;DR: I want to move

File: 15400298_1283870848302657_5639982418402848263_n.jpg (32KB, 606x630px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 606x630px

>>18298807
[2/2]
It took 15 hours nonstop for us to finish and when we finally get to their new place, he begins acting even more stressed and panicky, then suddenly starts asking me for $200 saying it was part of our deal. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about so I told him I didn't have that money for him and he immediately lost his shit and started packing old books and dvds to sell for rent money I guess he didn't have. I have no clue what went on with him and our last house but it apparently wasn't good, his communication has never been the best.

The vibe was weird at that point and after he took off to go to the record store or whatever to sell his shit, I left to go to work and I didn't hear back from him for a week despite calling. When he finally did call back, he sounded nonchalant at first but suddenly broke down over the phone saying he had no money, lost his job, had to get a night job at Walmart and that his wife has some disease that the doctors say is 'terminal' but he didn't specify what. The gist thru his sobbing was that he isn't doing well and needs me there for emotional support as he put it and couldn't describe how much he missed me being there.

I don't honestly know what to make of a lot of this. My dad is a known exaggerator and constantly plays the victim and surrounds himself with people who are also victims, so I don't know how much of what he's saying is accurate or what is just fodder to guilt trip me. After I talked to my mom about this, she said his actions aren't surprising, that I should "do what I think is right," and has let me stay with her for the time being until I get settled into a new apartment. But I don't know what's right. I can't shake the guilt and the sound of my own dad crying over the phone is still echoing in my head. I dont' know if I should go back and help him out or of I should keep myself out of that environment for my own benefit and I could use some outside advice here.

File: 1467667819270.png (314KB, 360x478px) Image search: [Google]

314KB, 360x478px

>>18298811
bumping for advice :s

bumpin ons more time

>>18298807
You should move out. He is an adult, and you shouldn't be forced to care for him. I'd reccomend that you live somewhere nearby, so that you can regularly visit and aid him. He is your father, and you shouldn't abandon him, but he needs to grow as a person and become independent. Usually it's the children that need to learn this, but it sounds like your dad never learned this, given how you described him.

>>18299314
This - you're not financially responsible for your father, especially you're barely at a point where you can be financially responsible for yourself. He's probably gonna have a hard time, and you can be there for him emotionally, but try to recognize when he's trying to use emotions to guilt-trip you into giving you money, which sounds like it's going to happen a lot.

>>18298811
>the sound of my own dad crying over the phone is still echoing in my head
Oh boy, I wish I'll never get to hear that.

As for the thread, I don't know, maybe it's cultural but I wouldn't let my dad like that. Deep down, you know that it's wrong (otherwise you wouldn't make this thread), especially since he took care of you (I hope?). However, you could try sending him to a therapist and in the meantime try to avoid enabling his shitty behavior at all costs. Put some solid boundaries (and be firm about it) : a "your house, your rules" kind of thing.
Also. When the vibe is weird and you feel something is off, confront him, and tell him that it will only get worst if he doesn't tell you at once.

>>18299340
>>18299314
I suppose you guys are right. My mom's choice of words for him and his wife were "spoiled brats" so I guess you're right. It's just a strange feeling to see your dad behave that way. My mom's never been one of those to just sit around and bitch about their ex, but she's mentioned before why she left him and it was for reasons like this. Dad on the other hand has not let go of the divorce and still regularly talks about how she left him and "destroyed his family" so I think there's a lot of shit going on in his head that he can't figure out.

I think that's what's bothering me the most, his complete lack of awareness of what's hindering him.

But at the same time I agree with >>18299370
saying that it would be best to confront it. Of course he took care of me, he's my dad, and he did his best but he had his priorities when I was younger. He never kicked me out of the house but it was clear his main focus was his new wife (who's 20 years his junior).

>>18298811
Move to the opposite side of the country

Your dad's a crackhead ok . Quit enabling his addiction. It's time for you to move out and get dicked down

I have an emotionally manipulative father too and fell for his bullcrap and it almost bankrupted me.

Go and live your own life, trust me OP, if you stay there like I did it will do more harm to your relationship than good.

I was on your father's side until the bit about the new wife being a fat smoker.

You're your own man. Fuck them.

My father is an emotional manipulator similarly. Cut ties with him years ago. Feel better for it.

See they agree go get you some dick far away from your dad.

>>18300585
>>18300643
am i coming across as gay or a chick or is it just because I'm OP and therefore a faggot?

Regardless, thank you guys for your input
>>18300612
May I ask what your circumstances were and how you dealt with it? Did you just straight up tell him to fuck off or did you just slowly move out?

>>18300626
Well I don't mean it to be like smoking is the worst thing in the world anyone could do but it just goes with them being chronic complainers and not understanding their own part in their unhappiness, thus they always blame everyone else.

Did your dad try to guilt you into stuff as well? I'm trying to get an idea as to how other fathers might do this to their kids or if my dad is genuine. The manipulation that's been going on since before this is inarguable but jesus, I've never seen him so low before.

File: 1435048459137.jpg (255KB, 1100x1600px)

255KB, 1100x1600px

bumping again

>>18300288
Mate, in the end, it's your decision. Would you regret it or not?
Personally, I couldn't live with the thought that I let my dad go to prison or die for a futile reason. You just need to be firm, don't let him abuse you. But you already see when he's emotionally blackmailing you, right?

Isn't there some sort of social worker that takes care of your money? Try to see if you can force it on him. He won't like it but at least it's a bother in less. Is there a way to take him to a doctor? (psychiatric)