Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1954. page

Do you have something to talk about? Yes? Then start with that. No? Then you shouldn't be trying to converse with her at all.

Nothing is more annoying than someone who starts a conversation with some bullshit like "hey" or "what are you up to?" and then expects you to lead the conversation. If you're texting me, have a reason to text me.

>>18203005
What's an example, we spent most of last night talking about our art, what the fuck do I do with that.

>>18203045
Just tell her that you has a good time talking to her the other night and would like to take her out. Then you know things go well check out some of her art.

>>18202959

>I hate the loud, vocal minority of a bunch of people
>because most of them aren't like that if I were to actually go out and meet any of them
>Instead I'm getting mad at all the bullshit I see on the internet

Stop paying so much attention to social media to quell your anger.

you've got something contagious man

why do you even give a shit. focus on your own life. so what if you get #triggered by the news and don't like to look at "niggers." you're probably caustic as fuck in real life.

and like I said this is just a contagious meme for shut-ins. you don't actually give a fuck about politics you're a roomlord.

also you know this is fucking bait. Jesus Christ you're shameless.

>>18202989
well, that's what you think. not everything that you find pathetic or disagree with is bait.

Yes, one puff of grass and you'll be addicted.....


To cock

To be honest yes
I crave the state weed puts me in
Like sugar

>>18202861

>so basically, I have no idea what weed is

>>18202725
Take allegra you fool

>>18202725

Consult a doctor.

>>18202807

That doesn't answer my question. I'd like to know if it'll go away so that I don't have to take allegra.

Firstly, what was your text? Context would be massive help

>>18202670
She wants to get more cock from people she finds more attractive and'll settle down to you once she doesn't find a better option. She's only confused probs cuz she feels guilty over something (manipulated you, cheated on you, etc.)

Move on dude and don't take/text/call her back. I went through similar shit and it's all plausible deniability through the arse. People who are confused like this don't know what they want and really don't deserve people with a set resolve.

She doesn't want to date you for whatever reason, but wants to have you as a safety net in case she doesn't find anyone better

>>18202647
Why are you seeing your gf only once every 2 weeks?

>>18202647
You're basically her emotional tampon with (I hope) occasional sex.
It is pretty normal, if you let women do it to you. You just need to start shutting her down when she starts bitching and tell her you don't want to hear about that kind of thing.

Yes. I'm actually debating with myself right now over whether to completely drop someone or not. She's a girl I dated for a little while until out schedules got in the way and she decided we weren't in a relationship and apparently never were (which was news to me at the time). After that, she would still flirt with me, but it was obvious it was only when she wanted something. Lately, our conversations have just been her bitching about other people to me, and avoiding the subject of actually hanging out. Recently, she got upset at me when I didn't jump at one of her demands (because I'm pretty tired of her shit at this point), and started talking about how crappy I was being. I'm basically getting nothing out of our friendship at this point, and haven't for a pretty long time.

How long does it take to get matches on Tinder? Just logged on after awhile.

I just had a regular customer come in after a botched suicide tell me he isn't done yet, and asked if I could score him cocaine..

I know some of his friends, and I want to help him.. Should I reach out to them and tell them about the situation.. Or just stay out of it?

>>18202609
I'm honestly really good looking(no pic don't want to be recognized), but have fucking awful social skills. Like to the point where a girl says hi and I respond with "okay" or something stupid. They usually laugh at it but I still feel terrible after. What is the bare minimum for me to not make a fool of myself?

Post picks of her

>>18202605

Lol to many detectives on this site.

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>>18202643
But anon its the only way to know for sure

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>>18202573

eeeeeeeewwwww what is that?

HIDE HIDE HIDE

>>18202573
Is that your tooth? Go to an emergency hospital!

>>18202562
Continued:

She mentioned that a friend from her home country was coming to spend 2 weeks in her room with her. She said she knew him for a few years although he didn't know her last name. I didn't really think much of it but okay.

In another conversation I she again hinted that we should travel sometime but once again changed the subject quickly.

In one of our evening conversations it came up that we should hang out sometime. We agreed on a time and then we sat down and had coffee that Saturday and had a nice conversation.

During this conversation the travel thing came up again. I replied and asked if I should join her for the first 3 days of her upcoming holiday.

She said that she's staying in a hostel. I don't really like hostels so I suggested that I'd stay in a hotel. The first day I'd get some rest. The second day I'd buy a few gifts for friends and the 3rd day I'd fly back home. She seemed thrilled with the idea and said that it would be great to have company.

She seemed fine with it but on the journey back she started to become uneasy and refused to help me with the booking of the holiday.

An hour later when I was back home, I remembered James and then said to myself that he may not be comfortable with this so I said on Monday when we return to work, I'd call it off.

Sunday night she sent me a text message:

Hey Anon, so I've had some time to think and I don't think going to budapest together is a good idea. I still think that you should definitely travel (that is a must) but I'm not the right person to travel with. I value our friendship too much to do something that will ruin it and to be honest I know that it would upset James if I did travel with you and I can't do that to him. I know that this is going to upset you but I hope you can understand why.

I thought this was okay as I was going to tell her the next day at work that I felt the same way about James.

The next evening when we were face to face, I was fine with the message but I asked her:


What does "I value our friendship too much to do something that will ruin it" mean?

She went really quiet. I then asked, did you think that I was going to do something untoward or cross any lines? I assure you, all I intended to do was get a see the city, buy a few gifts and return home.

She said no and then became really angry and said to me "You're reading too much into it"

I then asked her, Please explain to me what "I value our friendship too much to do something that will ruin it" means. I'm very confused.

She then picked up her things, said she was "pissed off with me" and walked off.

She is now refusing to talk to me which I find really odd. She's now stopped coming to see me every evening. Sometimes she'd make loud exhaling noises as she walks past my door.

She also blocked me on facebook even though we weren't facebook friends.

And generally she's just being horrible to me. Further to this, she's not doing the paperwork that she has to do for me. One of my line managers have asked her to do it and it's been 3 weeks now and she still hasn't done it even though I too have asked her.

I'm on the fence about telling my manager about it, but if I do she'd find herself in yet another brutalising meeting with the bosses which I don't really want to subject her to.

What should I do?
I feel as though I've lost one of my best friends.
I just want my friend back.

When I went to try to talk to her, she said "I was pissed off because you compared yourself to Tim"

Tim is the fellow that doesn't know her last name and is staying in her bedroom for 2 weeks.

I didn't compare myself to him at any point in time! I don't even know what she's talking about!


Any help would be appreciated as I really don't understand why she's so angry.

>>18202561
>How do I make myself focus and get this fucking thing done?
what the fuck are you even doing?

>>18202793
I didn't include the actual task because it's not relevant. I know how to do the task, my issue is with concentrating on it.

I have an 8 page paper due tonight, should be doable but im sitting here like an asshole on the 3rd day of procrastination. I hate myself.

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>>18202557

i think a lot of people would argue that men have this problem becuase they are constantly tearing each other down. and if you look at women they do the same. then if you look at male female dynamics, you'll find the same too. so really its just a human issue, we all need to put someone down in order to lift ourselves up. we can't have a society where were all equal, cuz then were all just inadequate.

the best thing one can do for himself is to create a positive support group, or rather cultivate positive relationships. someone once explained it on this board like pic related.

basically if your romance fails, you will need friends to fall back on... and if your friends leave you, you need family to fall back on.

family is the strongest base because its the easiest to maintain. you can do some really horrid shit to your family and they'll still take care of you (as a general rule) whereas you can do less horrid shit to your friends and virtually no horrid shit to your girlfriend.

the problem is, people actually live this pyramid in reverse. They have a primary focus on relationships and dont care much what happens to their friends, and by the time they reach adulthood they treat their family like its simply a chore.

so then they break up, or get turned down and feel miserable and have no one to suppor them. if they do date a girl they will often stop seeing their friends a lot, or even stop seeing them altogether, then act surprised when the most fragile of human relationships is broken.

the best thing anyone can do is cultivate a strong bodn with their family, but not everyone has that option. in my own case, i kinda resent my family, particularly my father, and live so far away that it doesn't much matter.

but after that, the best you can do is invest in friendship. if you look at the history of male relationships you'll actually find that until recently, male friendship was the most important thing.

cont

>>18202579

back 'in the day' women were just naturally wedded off to men and it wans't much different than adopting a child. it was someone you basically took into your life that you had SOME choice in but that they had virtually no choice in.

the wife was someone who would take your orders (much like a child) and was like a house servant that you fucked. sure you'd bond, but ultimately if there was any issue, the woman would have to lose the argument and the man would get his way.

as a result, there wasn't a lot of pressusre in romance the way there is today. the man just did what he wanted and a woman was naturally along for the ride.

which means that the actual bonding tended to be between men. It was men who go to war together, who grew up talking to each other, who had the kind of bonding moments we often associate with romance (in a not gay way i assure you) it was men who would start businesses together and work together and basically do everything together.

they'd get their own wives and kids, but the importance of a 'god father' was super big back then because you needed someone you trusted to raise your kids if you passed.

regardless, the long winded point im making here is that if you can't make family your strongest base, then invest in friendships. take a break from worrying about romance and cultivate friendships, or deepen existing ones. take the time to show people how much they mean to you instead of just 'going through the motions' so to speak.

when you DO date, make ample time with your friends, especially at first. why is it that if you start dating a girl, someone you've known about a month, you think its okay to to choose her over the people who supported you and took care of you for years? DONT. its okay to say 'sorry im hanging with my friends tonight'.

and if she doesn't understand that, then she wasn't going to last long anyway.

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>>18202557
Mindfulness, requires constant, conscious positive thinking, until it eventually becomes a natural part of your psyche. I haven't done it myself, but as far as I understand it, it's something like that.

One thing i have tried though, is a gratitude list. It's cheesy as fuck and isn't a cure-all, but it works to make your day a bit brighter. I just write down 5 things I'm grateful for every day, trying not to repeat things as much as possible. You can do more or less as it suits you. It could be as simple as 'having electricity' or deeper. Make sure you only write things you actually feel grateful for, bc for almost a year I was writing down things I knew I should feel grateful for but didn't, and it ended up making me feel worse. I keep mine in a book and read through them all on bad days.

Staying in contact with friends is very important. We are social creatures, and you WILL feel depressed without human contact. It's instinct. Without that social instinct, society would never have formed. Being too afraid to act on that instinct doesn't mean it's not there.

And of course, proper diet and exercise meme

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Your on a Mesopotamian cavepainting distribution conference call. You're definitely on the spectrum.
But its nothing to worry about. Most people are shit in social situations. The trick is to fake that you have your shit together for long enough that it becomes second nature. Don't listen to exes. The last one would have you believe I was a rape happy cave dweller just because i wouldn't blow my collage tuition on a trip to Europe with her

>>18202597
>Your on a Mesopotamian cavepainting distribution conference call
what

>>18202633
An unfunny reddit meme, ignore it.

Go get her OP. Best of luck

Sure. It's as nice of a thing as coffee.
Honestly coffee can be boring.
You go ahead and do that OP.

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>>18202432
Ask her out now, so you can either get a date set or you can be rejected and break your crush before it grows hopelessly deeper and creepier.

>>18202426
That's not what you even need in a relationship.

Watch 500 Days of Summer

>>18202426
What are your interests? If you're a nerd the LGS is always a good choice.

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>>18202430
hey
what's LGS?

my interests are pretty normal, just a little bit odd and specific. pics related.

>>18202429
I was thinking about having someone to talk with about these things, not necessarily a best friend or a partner.

Should I go watch that movie? It has to do with this?