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Any constructive suggestions will be appreciated:
Last October, a woman in her early 20s started working at my workplace. I never really noticed her until mid November when she started talking to me.
I work up to 6pm every day. Even though her off time was 5PM, she would come after 5pm and and spent time with me every evening. During this time we would chat about random things. I never asked her to do this, but I found that her conversations made the work easier.
After a while, I became used to her conversations and looked forward to them after a hard day.
We would talk about a variety of things and as time progressed they became more personal matters. She would always tell me about this guy (Let's call him James) that apparently liked her back in her home country. I didn't think much of it as I didn't have any personal interest in her.
After the Christmas 2016 break, we returned to work and in one of our evening chats, she told me how James came from her home country to visit her to tell her that he wanted a relationship with her and that he loves her she told me how he stayed in her room with her.
I was happy for her as she seemed pleased about this. A week later, she messed up some documents at work and the bosses asked for a meeting with her at 5pm and they really berated her. So much so, that after it she left crying and I saw her, so we went back to my work room and talked about it.
She felt better after the chat and because we talked until 7PM, I gave her a lift home.
The following day, she everytime she saw me she kept smiling and laughing at me, but wouldn't say anything when I asked her what was so funny.
She continued to visit me every evening and I would say that we became good friends. During our conversations it came up that I hadn't had a vacation in a very long time. I said that I always wanted to go to Japan. She hinted that maybe we should go sometime and then quickly changed the subject.
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>>18202562
Continued:
She mentioned that a friend from her home country was coming to spend 2 weeks in her room with her. She said she knew him for a few years although he didn't know her last name. I didn't really think much of it but okay.
In another conversation I she again hinted that we should travel sometime but once again changed the subject quickly.
In one of our evening conversations it came up that we should hang out sometime. We agreed on a time and then we sat down and had coffee that Saturday and had a nice conversation.
During this conversation the travel thing came up again. I replied and asked if I should join her for the first 3 days of her upcoming holiday.
She said that she's staying in a hostel. I don't really like hostels so I suggested that I'd stay in a hotel. The first day I'd get some rest. The second day I'd buy a few gifts for friends and the 3rd day I'd fly back home. She seemed thrilled with the idea and said that it would be great to have company.
She seemed fine with it but on the journey back she started to become uneasy and refused to help me with the booking of the holiday.
An hour later when I was back home, I remembered James and then said to myself that he may not be comfortable with this so I said on Monday when we return to work, I'd call it off.
Sunday night she sent me a text message:
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Hey Anon, so I've had some time to think and I don't think going to budapest together is a good idea. I still think that you should definitely travel (that is a must) but I'm not the right person to travel with. I value our friendship too much to do something that will ruin it and to be honest I know that it would upset James if I did travel with you and I can't do that to him. I know that this is going to upset you but I hope you can understand why.
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I thought this was okay as I was going to tell her the next day at work that I felt the same way about James.
The next evening when we were face to face, I was fine with the message but I asked her:
What does "I value our friendship too much to do something that will ruin it" mean?
She went really quiet. I then asked, did you think that I was going to do something untoward or cross any lines? I assure you, all I intended to do was get a see the city, buy a few gifts and return home.
She said no and then became really angry and said to me "You're reading too much into it"
I then asked her, Please explain to me what "I value our friendship too much to do something that will ruin it" means. I'm very confused.
She then picked up her things, said she was "pissed off with me" and walked off.
She is now refusing to talk to me which I find really odd. She's now stopped coming to see me every evening. Sometimes she'd make loud exhaling noises as she walks past my door.
She also blocked me on facebook even though we weren't facebook friends.
And generally she's just being horrible to me. Further to this, she's not doing the paperwork that she has to do for me. One of my line managers have asked her to do it and it's been 3 weeks now and she still hasn't done it even though I too have asked her.
I'm on the fence about telling my manager about it, but if I do she'd find herself in yet another brutalising meeting with the bosses which I don't really want to subject her to.
What should I do?
I feel as though I've lost one of my best friends.
I just want my friend back.
When I went to try to talk to her, she said "I was pissed off because you compared yourself to Tim"
Tim is the fellow that doesn't know her last name and is staying in her bedroom for 2 weeks.
I didn't compare myself to him at any point in time! I don't even know what she's talking about!
Any help would be appreciated as I really don't understand why she's so angry.
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You must be trolling OP. No one can be this socially aloof.
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>>18202562
>>18202590
>>18202594
>>18202624
You unfortunately met a girl with low self esteem.
She tells you about James as a means to spur you on or get a reaction. To sort of put you in competition with James.
The whole thing with the friend staying in her room, it's probably a lie just to get a reaction out of you.
It all went to crap when you called her out and then made it clear that all you wanted to do on holiday was buy gifts and see sights.
You bruised her ego badly there and you called her out and put her on the spot.
Run for the hills mate, you really don't need this drama.
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>>18202644
I am, please offer your advice. I just want my friend back.
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>>18202665
She definitely had feelings for you, you didn't reciprocate the feelings and just saw her as a friend.
You should complain to the manager about her not doing her work. She's a grown ass woman.
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>>18202693
>>18202665
Thank you for your advice. I don't want a relationship with her, I just want our old friendship back. It was nice having a chat late in the evening when I had to get work done.
I don't really want to file a complaint as I don't want her to get into trouble even though she's really treating me like shit ever since the incident.
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>>18202710
You deserve better, women like this tend to be trouble.
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It's clear that she liked you and you sorta called her out on it and made it clear that you didn't want anything from her.
She's hurt.
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