Anonymous
Gf hurt my feelings. Do I have a right to be upset ? 2017-05-05 05:18:02 Post No.18288574
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Gf hurt my feelings. Do I have a right to be upset ? 2017-05-05 05:18:02 Post No.18288574
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Gf hurt my feelings. Do I have a right to be upset ?
Anonymous
2017-05-05 05:18:02
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Been with her 3 years. I asked her to go with me to a concert to an artist I like, and she said no flat out. I laughed as if she was joking and she said no again all bitchy and then got annoyed.
Then we just sat there in silence and she was doing other things so I just hung up.
She's grouchy because she didn't get tickets to a concert of an artist she likes, and I was gonna go with her
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>>18288574
how old are you guys?
this sounds very immature (her).
tell her you're going anyways, with or without her.
see what happens then.
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>>18288581
21 and 22. I feel stupid for feeling mad. But I can't lie to myself about it.
Think there's a growth oppertunity to be had here?
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>>18288581
This is what she replied
I'm in dire need of help /adv/. This is my situation: I'm a 23 year old male college student, I've got a bachelors degree in psychology and I'm currently pursuing a two year masters degree in cognitive ergonomics. I hit a pretty rough patch on the personal end of things about two years ago which forced me to drop out of college for the entirety of last year. I've enrolled again this year and I'm now facing exams.
The thing is this: I fucking HATE school, I despise the fact that I have to sit there for hours taking notes, bringing "work" home after class time, having to spend hours learning stuff for exams (which comes with a great deal of pressure). I just can't see the end goal of it all. Working a 9-5 job in an office amongst people I don't want anything from other than a paycheck ?
The issue is that these 5 years have been fully sponsored by my parents, and therefore I feel pretty obligated to finish my degree, even if it is slowly turning into such a heavy load that I can't get myself to handle it mentally. College life has in fact slowly but surely propelled me into depression.
So yeah, have any of you been faced with a situation such as this one ? What did you do ? How do you feel about it now ?
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>>18288565
1. get counselling, now. CBT would help.
2. remind yourself it's only temporary, and that it will get you closer to your goals.
3. don't be harsh on yourself.
4. you'll be fine. talk to your parents about your concerns.
Look, if you take a glance at many of the posts here on adv you'll see a good many of them are about people trying to get back into school after dropping out or not having gone straight after high school. so consider yourself doing the right thing.
it doesn't mean you'll be an office drone once you graduate, cross that bridge when you get there. but finish the studies first, you'll be grateful you did.
and good luck, anon!
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>>18288575
Thanks for the input anon.
I'm actually considering CBT. I've been to multiple psychologists before, even psychiatrists (I was on ambien, zoloft and hydroxyzine for a few months last year) but none of it helped even a bit. CBT would be something new.
The issue with it "being temporary" is that I don't feel like it really is. I've hated school for most of my life, and I mean really hated it (although I've always excelled at it). I seem to have an issue with rigidly organized structures (hence why I fear getting stuck in a 9-5). I get the whole "you may regret it later" argument, I've heard it a thousand times, but I just can't get myself to sit there for 5 hours to study anymore. It almost gets physically painful to even try to.
But hey, I'm taking the advice. I'll push through the end of this year, but I'm still horrified by the fact that there's another one to complete after the summer break. It's going to be excruciating
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>>18288565
Anon, there is going to be no 9-5 for you. You went psychology and will be unemployable. Your screwed bro
Anonymous
How do people deal with emotions 2017-05-05 05:03:46 Post No.18288548
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How do people deal with emotions 2017-05-05 05:03:46 Post No.18288548
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How do people deal with emotions
Anonymous
2017-05-05 05:03:46
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Ok, so.. long story short.
>Long term B6, B12, Iron, and Vit D deficiency
>Had serious chronic fatigue, hypersomnia etc.
>Got treated; injections and pills; I'm getting better. More energy, more capable.
>Had dark circles around my eyes since I was 10-11 (now in my 20s), that are finally starting to clear up, so very long term.
>By the time I was 18, I didn't feel a very large spectrum of emotions. Usually just happiness or anger.
>Was very subdued emotionally, fairly cold
>Since getting treatment I'm now experiencing more emotions
Issue is, I don't know how to deal with these things. I haven't had to in years, and when I did it was in short, brief spats. Like I don't even know what some of these emotions I'm experiencing are because it's just not been something present to me for a long time. It's very plausible the health issues I had caused depression, but I never really lacked motivation to do things. I don't understand what's happening with all of these feelings, I do not how to process them.
I tried getting an NHS therapist 2 months ago, and I'm still waiting. I don't have the money for private really, not right now. I think I'm a little scared that this will intensify and become a distraction, how do you deal with these kinds of emotions on a daily basis?
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Anyone..?
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Try to connect the emotions you are feeling with things happening around you, or where spesifically do you feel them.
For example, if you feel something heavy in your chest, it might be sadness or regret. You can look up all of these thing online. Just search something along the lines of "where do people feel emotions". Hope this helped
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>>18288548
>How do people deal with emotions
Well personally I drink.
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I want to quit as a guild leader. Here is what's stopping me.
>spent 2k RL money on it + the game
>no guildie is reliable enough to be leader
>don't want to give it to some random guy
>don't want to disband and lose millions of ingame money
I'm in a rut.
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>>18288536
Teach someone.
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>do an alt character
>create a new guild
>transfer your assets to new guild
>betray your current guild and go to war with them in new guild
>find reliable person in new guild and give them leadership
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>>18288536
what game?
>be me
>be 19, collage student living in shit eastern european country
>go to massive anti government protests
>meet a girl
>she starts texting me
>we text for days, it gets flirty
>I pick my balls, ask her out
>"YES!" she says
>"Don't even think about not sleeping after that" she says (i have troubles sleeping)
>we go out
>4-5 hours on a date
>great time, we talk a lot, I tell her how I camp a lot
>first date - nothing happens
>2 days pass, she continues to text me
> "You have to take me camping sometimes anon"
>This is it, she is into me
>I ask her on another date, this time to the cinema
>Hours pass, no response
>"Uhh sorry anon, I'm in a bit of a mess right now, I have a lot of things to do on collage, maybe some other time"
>Feelsbadman.jpg
Where did I go wrong ? Or am I just paranoid and I haven't gone wrong anywhere and she really is just busy ?
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>>18288475
How can you live with so many neurosis? Is this really something worthy of a breakdown? She is just busy right now, dude.
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>>18288475
Breathe my guy she's a person she does shit other than date. Chill and wait for the next opportunity.
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>>18288488
I've moved to a new city recently to go to collage, it was just nice to meet someone and break the monotony of studying all day all night. I am not breaking down, just feeling melancholic right now, it feels that I'll just spend the rest of collage alone in my apartment
If someone I liked called me out on a second date I would find time
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I had a petty argument with my brother and in the middle of it he burst out that "a bitch that like that should be beat up". He's only 16 and family, so on some level I feel like I should be forgiving. But I'm honestly furious. If a friend or even an SO threatened me with physical harm like that (not that I think he would have actually punched me) I would probably end any association, because physical violence is simply not okay on any level in my books. I'm usually very difficult to anger, but I told him that I have nothing else to say to him until he apologises. How much shit is one supposed to tolerate from family? Am I overreacting?
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>>18288450
You're underreacting, you should've slapped the little shit. Or at least made him materially less well off.
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>>18288450
>petty argument
feminine guile detected.
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>>18288531
It was literally about food and what spices should be used. I nagged at him, yes, and called his taste and cooking skills shit, but if that doesn't count as petty I don't know what does.
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What do /adv/
>start a no-turning-back contract for some ENTRY LEVEL job
>get along with 99% of trainee class (fellow 20 to 30 year olds) except with the oldest woman in class (56)
>no foul verbal or physical fights between us, but we both dont acknowledge each other's existence despite sitting next to each other (I cant don a fake smiling face to people I know are machiavellian asskissers, and she hates me for some reasons)
>she gravitates to people who have the ff: skills, connections, authority. In short the alphas
>tries her comedy skills to socialize with them
>doesnt work. People laugh to show respect
>tries being the cutesy mom of the class
>??? result. People just flow with it anyway cause respect
>most of the alphas in class are ENERGETIC YOUNG NOISY chads and stacies
>she roleplays those traits as well to adapt to them
>to fully hit the nail on the head, she plans to start doing FREEBIES and FREE LUNCHES for """EVERYONE""" on the very start of 2ND WEEK of training (she used 1st week to observe who's who)
>tfw some of the skilled people are my friends
>I just know they'll all fall for it including the one I already warned about the asskisser
>tfw I'm being cucked by a 56 yo granny
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>>18288417
why do you gaf about some coworkers on an entry level contract job?
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>>18288429
Because ive gone thru a similar shit before, failed to solve it and felt shit for years. Isolation and cold shoulders are a bitch. And now this same politics is happening in a job that is DEPENDENT on working together as team to achieve and surpass the metrics.
>tfw training period still has +20 days left
>after that we'll get separated into diff. teams on the production floor
>heaven if I get to get away from her
>hell if we end up in the same group with her segragating me and who else she deems useless
I'm having PTSDs of people with power and authorities favoring chads and stacies.
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Come on /adv/
I know some of you also go through workplace politics.
right now I'm just doing my best studying training notes so I can ace exams on this job and prove my worth despite being a noob
Anonymous
Female Roommate & Coworker 2017-05-05 03:58:18 Post No.18288407
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Female Roommate & Coworker 2017-05-05 03:58:18 Post No.18288407
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Female Roommate & Coworker
Anonymous
2017-05-05 03:58:18
Post No. 18288407
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I need to figure out how to deal with a potential female roommate that wants to move in. Backstory:
>leave job in December
>just as I'm going through my two weeks we hire a new girl
>cute, good personality, become fast friends even though I'm leaving
>still friends with coworkers so end up keeping in contact with her, going to lunch sometimes and Facebook friends
>she has a long term boyfriend, but no big deal, I'm not trying to get with her, just a minor crush
>my roommate leaves in January and I've been passively searching for a new one
>my former coworker hits me up and says new girl is fighting with her boyfriend and the relationship is over, has no clue I'm harboring a down low crush
>other complication is that I'm actually coming back to work at the old job at the end of the month
>now I'm not sure how to turn her down without explaining I'm into her and making things weird as soon as I come back
So, what do I say here? Not only do I not want to live with a girl I'd like to hook up with, but I don't want to live with someone I spend nine hours a day with. Also, I'm an alcoholic and her knowing that would obviously be very dangerous to my career.
How do I get myself out of this?
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>>18288407
Shit, I missed a key greentext line - this girl wants to move in with me and take up the spare bedroom in my house, if you didn't assume that from the OP.
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>>18288407
W-wh--
WHY U UPSET THO
Qt3.14 that you crushing on wants to live with you? What's the issue here???
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>>18288407
Just... Don't use her panties for masturbating with and you're good?
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TL;DR: People don't talk to me despite me being open towards them. What do?
It's an issue that has followed me from middle school, through high school and now persists even when I am in college. I'm a fairly extroverted guy when in company, I am not afraid to speak about my thoughts (which most often are why/how questions often lacking a determinate answer) and am generally in line with the social dogma. I love being the center of attention, communicating and sharing myself with the world. I am not afraid to sing when opportunity arises, though I admit I am not particularly good at it, and not afraid of taking the initiative regarding familiar tasks, though uncertain in my ability to initiate things that although do not seem odd, have not yet been performed by someone else with a desired outcome. I do not make odd comments, e.g. sharing the story of my uncle committing suicide during a conversation about whisky (even if I did have such a story to share).
I have a wide span of interests and can engage in conversation about almost any topic, excluding pop culture. There is not a single person I have met that I couldn't find a common ground with, despite finding myself among people with greatly varying social status. This ability has greatly improved during my later years, further strengthening my albeit weak, yet still existing, self-confidence.
This all ends when I leave school/uni. As soon as I say good bye to anyone I have ever talked to face to face, I never hear from them until the day our fates cross once again, i.e. next time I'm in the university. Despite my classmates going to parties and doing things together outside of school, I am never invited, unless I make part of some larger group that is invited, e.g. the entire class, or the entire section of a company I used to work for. But never do I receive a personal invitation.
Continuing below, pic related, would place myself at beta positive.
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>>18288303
OP here, cont:
If I were to ask if I could come to an event, the answer would surely be yes, but it is more likely to be because of common courtesy, and not someone's desire to have me at a particular event, especially if I haven't been too close to the organizer. As I enjoy social interaction and being in large groups of people, it hurts me not to be able to meet people when there is an opportunity, and yet I don't want to force it.
I have done a number of different tests (free online versions, decide for yourself regarding their accuracy) to check for Asperger's syndrome, Autism and ADHD, but they all show me to be a normal, functioning person. So I see no other explanations to my struggles other than
1. I look like fucking Quasimodo and people want to run when they see me, so they avoid it at all costs unless they have to be in my presence (such as school or work, where all my social interaction occurs), but this is doubtful. I might not be Prince Charming, but how much do looks matter to straight guys that have no sexual interest in me?
2. The more likely explanation would be that I am being a dick without noticing it myself, so people avoid me when they can because of my personality. This is the what I'm asking the advice for, mostly, how do you know you're being a dick? I don't make sassy or mean remarks, I try to keep the conversation always flowing and engaging as many people as there are in the group I am currently in. Do I think too good of myself, which somehow shines through?
I aspire to be a good member of any community and never turn down requests or favors, unless they really are impossible for me to execute or if I am engaged in something already. I don't talk shit to people's faces or behind their backs, but if I disagree on a point, I will state it unless I notice the matter to be obviously sensitive.
Cont below
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>>18288313
Last part
The fault is not with the people I meet, but instead with me, since I have met so many different people in so many different places, yet everything always stabilizes itself towards the same equilibrium - me being like a fish in the water at my workplace/school, and an outcast loner as soon as the bell rings. What do I do?
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>>18288316
By your pic, i tend between beta positive and Gamma positive. I lean more towards gamma though due to the career oath i am following.
I think letting you know my status would be important as well if other anons will to make yourself a picture.
Usually when someone invites me somewhere i decline unless it's some place i want to go, some place i like, or is not too far away. I don't really refuse a particular person unless it's someone that really pisses me off or someone that i do not know that much. Usually i only go out with my group of friends when we all gather. We are most likely all gamma and beta positives. Thing is we share interests and ideas. I am also a dick by personality. Mostly to close friends as we are just joking around. Not a dick to everyone.
If you are not a douche, i do not see why people would not want to invite you to anything and such. It sounds like you either do not share common interests or they do not know you well. Keep in mind that people like me almost never plan to go out. We usually gather as a group spontaneously after class or outside and do stuff. Unless there's a big event.
hey guys, for a while now sometimes when i go to sleep (especially if im going to nap) when im starting to fall asleep i hear a very sudden and loud sound (sometimes it sounds like a whip, sometimes like thunder, all sorts of loud sounds) and it wakes me up. The first times it happened i thought it was some sort of irl sound, but then i realised all the sounds are in my head. Does anyone know why the fuck that happens, and why is it? Does it happen to anyone else? I have plenty of mental problems but i dont think it could be related.
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sorry man, no idea.have you seen a doctorb?
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>>18288293
Exploding head syndrome. Its a thing look it up. Auditory hallucinations that are more likely to occur while falling asleep. Usually nothing major unless you actually can't sleep ever. See a doc if you can't get it under control.
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>>18288293
I don't know anything about it, but that kind of stuff happened to me a few times. One time it was really cool, it sounded like an orchestra tuning its instruments.
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>give relationship advice
>never been in a relationship
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>>18288166
This is not asking for advice. Please, keep threads on topic for the board. Thanks!
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>>18288166
I give bad advice on purpose here. I'm sure at least one of them listened to me.
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Absolutely devilish lad
Anonymous
getting fucked for the first time 2017-05-05 02:18:28 Post No.18288150
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getting fucked for the first time
Anonymous
2017-05-05 02:18:28
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Hey /adv/ I'm 19 and just arranged for 2 guys to fuck me at a hotel tonight. Never done this before, what should I expect/ look out for?
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Youre going to get raped/murdered for being a degenerate
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>>18288150
Rape.
You should expect rape.
Don't do dumb shit like this without enough experience. Especially with two other guys.
At the very least I'd expect them to try and stealth.
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>>18288150
>rape
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dont know if this is the right place to post this.. anyway..
after recieving oral sex from my girlfriend, i tell her how good it was and her response is always "for me too"
we dont ever tell lies to make the other one feel good and we are completely open about sexual experiences with eachother, its only when i ask her what is good about it for her, her response is always "its just good" and i dont understand it
i have thought about the idea that it feels good for her to do things that i like but it doesnt seem like it, it seems more like she thinks its good for her own sake???
so i guess my question is how can a blowjob possibly be good for the giver?
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>>18288104
Its a turn on to make your partner feel good. Maybe there was no actual physical pleasure in it for her but she probably loved pleasing you.
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>>18288104
>so i guess my question is how can a blowjob possibly be good for the giver?
Wow, having sex with you must be so boring. You can have fun doing or reciving, man. Sex is about doing it together. I don't know how to explain it.
It's not only about making the other person feel good. But that's part of it.
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Yes. Just like you can get horny while eating her out when.she is responding well. The act itself may not be physically pleasung to her but the psychology can make her madly horny and she probably likes that. And that is different than liking it because you like it. Also, it sound like a pretty good situation you're in. Most girl dont like sucking dick too often in the long run.
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I'm constantly anxious when talking to my girlfriend who I love so much
I am afraid I'd fuck up when I talk and this has led me to lose the ability to make her laugh like before and I am
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>>18287965
>"...and I am."
Don't end a sentence with a preposition.
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And I am a funny person*
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how old are you two?
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A crossroads is before me.
I'm not so young anymore. At 22, I have a little less legroom to fuck around and I realize that pursuing what I thought was my "passion" in an academic setting might be a mistake. I've put two and two together, and realize that I should be considering programming. I can appreciate some of what it entails, especially the creative applications and the challenges it presents. Others, particularly the more memorization-based shit, grate on my nerves. So this isn't a clearcut decision.
The only other skilled thing I probably could tolerate is art. I earn some money that way but I have a ways to go until I could actually support myself off of it. I'm not really afraid of being a starving artist.
Theoretically I could pursue both.
Either ways, I think I might have to change my major to only one and, whew, this is a problem in itself.
The computer science program here is nearly impossible to get into and I might be unable to get the actual major (though I could attend classes), and that the art program here is kinda shitty and in its own way might discourage me...I might have to transfer, and that in itself is a huge pain and will take many months. Getting into as good as a college might be out of the question, too.
I dunno what to do, or to think. How do I know programming is for me? I know both programming and art demand my all, but programming is the terrifying one because how do I know that I can actually develop a workable program? How do I know it won't all be for naught, that I'd be less than mediocre?
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I'll give you a bump for the pic
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>>18288720
Thanks anon.
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a job and a career is a tool to make money and support yourself, it doesn't need to be your passion-- but you shouldn't hate it either
>How do I know programming is for me?
go to codeacademy dot com , do some simple work on there that requires no sign up, see if you like it
>how do I know that I can actually develop a workable program?
do you think people woke up being good at programming? they had to learn it just like everyone else. It's not easy, but at least when you work your ass off in programming you'll get compensated fairly.
don't work your ass off for a major that won't pay off in the end. that's the way I feel about it. I'm in college and I'm going to make it count