Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1724. page

Throw it in a river, get a buddy to punch you in the face real hard, and tell them you got mugged. Also youre a fucking retard.

Please, please, please be real.

I've been laughing uncontrollably for the past several minutes because of this post. I don't know why but this is /adv/ please someone send help.

Fuck her in the bathroom.

>>18287011
Just act like youve never met before

>>18287024
My problem is that my name is very unique, so if she says "oh hi (blank)" I can't just say "oh you have me confused for someone else"

Goddamn niggerfaggot go to church.

WE DONT FUCKING KNOW MAN WE DONT LIKE COCKS

GAYYSSS. EVERYBOSY RUNNNN

Get the fuck off of 4chan Thomas. I'll see you at work tomorrow.

Ldrs are cancer my dude. You played yourself like a damn fiddle. I hope you get over it and realize that 3D is the way to go.

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cont. >>18286969

A couple of days later she decided it would be best to just be friends, I reluctantly agreed. We still talked for a couple of weeks, but no more playing/sexting. As it happened, a couple of weeks later I went to Canada to visit my family. This was the first time we were in the same time-zone, prior to that I'd been using my white male neet privilege and staying up til 5am every night to talk to her.

I didn't have much to do while I was there so we started speaking more and more again. After a couple of days she told me how much she missed me and begged me to play with her again. It was great - just like old times and we both enjoyed it thoroughly. We continued for a couple of weeks, but when I had to go back to the U.K. I told her we should stop. I knew the time difference and the distance it would be too much.

We went back to being friends, drifted apart a bit, and after a few more weeks I told her I wanted her back. We played again for a little while, but it wasn't the same anymore. A week or two later she told me she wanted to go back to being friends. Again I reluctantly agreed because I loved her, but I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to touch her - of her being alone, in reality, every day. She swore we'd always be friends.

A month or two later she told me she'd met a new master, how they'd been out camping, drinking wine that had been cooled in the river - how he was getting to do all the things I'd wanted to do with her. I told her I didn't really want to know. I wanted to be happy for her but it hurt so fucking bad to hear.

2/x

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cont. >>18286989

We started to drift further apart, texting once a week, then once a month. She told me how she loved the feeling of getting list in him, being slowly wrapped around his little finger, losing all control

I knew this was part of who she was, and I'd enjoyed the same with her. But this time it was different. He was driving a wedge between her and her family. And her friends, not just me, which I could understand, but everyone she knew. Friends, housemates, her sister, everyone was a threat to this guy's control apparently.

It made me sick to my stomach. I could control her in a room full of the people with a single word, from 3000 miles away. He couldn't even control his own temper.

I set her free out of love and she squandered it, to the point that it felt like almost as if it was to spite me.

One day, she sent me a message on Skype - she was going to remove me as a contact. It wasn't just me, she was cutting everyone out. I didn't beg, but I told her I thought she was making a mistake, I tried to reason with her. To no avail.

She excised me like cancer. I was crushed. I tried to pick myself up and move on.

A few months later I got a job, it wasn't great, but the company seemed like it had potential. I worked hard, I became good at it, really good. It became my everything. It was tough, I'd joined at a bad time (staffing issues) but I powered through. Acquire currency and all that.

After 9 months the positions I wanted to be promoted to became available. I applied and had a meeting with the director of our department about it. He told me to withdraw my application, there was no point, that I wasn't going to get it. I wasn't performing well enough in one of the areas that wasn't a metric and it was a deal breaker. I was crushed, sure it had been mentioned, but never made clear that it was a deal breaker.

3/x

>>18286968
Use the 31 gallon. If you cant, return it. It costs a company about a dollar to process a return and ship you a new garbage can. It costs a few hundred training a new warehouse drone. They dont really care.

Seal it shut as best you can and put 4/5 lbs of dry ice and about a gallon of water in it

>>18286968
Mistakes happen all the time in places of business. I don't know how many times I've mistaken something at my job. You get talked to showed the correct or right thing and you move on and learn from it. If they do it constantly though and are at their worst it may happen it may not

>>18286954
desu if she has was willing to go this far while having a husband, it doesn't bode well for you and her long term i think.
Also what does you having inexperience have to do with any of this?

>>18286954
1: you don't love her, your hormones are all over the place and you wanna stick your dick in her
2: your inexperienced ass is not in the situation to deal with a woman whose marriage is breaking up, the drama that entails etc.
3. if her marriage is broken there's a reason, even if it's because her husband is shit that's a reflection of her judgement.
4. There's plenty of single pussy, go get some of that then come back to the issue.

You don't love her. Your dick is messing with your head.

Fuck her and then GET THE FUCK OUT.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Let her ruin her marriage but then end it.

if youre going to quit, negotiate a raise while youre at it.

>>18286934
What kind of job do you have, OP? I'm job hunting now and need some decent part-time option. Thank you.

hospital cafe

by going out and seeing for yourself how people feel around you

If you have to ask, then you're not.

>>18286946
Wrong.

>>18286890

24hrs abstinence won't do it. You want more semen, you'll have to wait more time. 5-7 days is what you're looking at for peak volume.

Drink water. Loads of water, and keep your balls cool. If you cuddle with your girlfriend and get an erection but don't ejaculate, that's where your body will be producing the most sperm. Taking Zinc supplements help for volume as well.

>>18286892
This but don't take too much zinc, it's bad to go over the daily amount. Eat meats and veggies high in zinc instead.

>>18286955
>>18286892
Thanks anons.
So, abstain for a week, cuddle without climax, and consume zinc. I'd ask for a proof or science but I take it it's common fact.

Why are you hurting yourself by loving someone who isn't loving you back?

And yeah teddy bear and chocolate sounds good, maybe write her a little note too

>Definitely not a shameless self bump.

For what it's worth, I do have access to an auto body shop and lots of welding equipment, just generally a lot of tools in general.

>>18286860
>loving someone who isn't loving you back?
She still lives with her controlling parents whilst I don't. Her parents grow livid at the thought of her doing anything away from home, and I'm not just gonna be all like "we're dating" if literally nothing is going on or can go on (no actual dating or fucking). Honestly we tell each other how much we love each other every day, and I've had bros say, "Yeah she's basically just your girlfriend."

>>18286830
Don't mix uppers and downers and don't get hooked on this stuff either. It's expensive, it will screw up your mind and body. It's just a distraction. Just identify whatever problem you're trying to distract yourself from and solve that problem.

adderall is the shit

>>18286849
I legitimately have adhd and maladaptive daydreaming disorder. It's crippled me for years. I'm just wondering which one brings a high.

k bye

If you're going to do it at least stream it.

>>18286819
If you were sure about this you wouldn't be opening this matter up to people who might try to convince you otherwise.

Aren't there a few things you have wanted to do but never did? Try one of those things. How about this: you hold it off for another week and do this thing and then make an update this time and day next week?

Anything you wanted to do. Anything. If you're serious about killing yourself why would the consequences matter?

Just hold on for another week and knock something off your list. Then come back and update us.

>>18286817
It doesn't have to be either or. It sounds like you need to introduce more low-pressure IRL socialising into your diet. I get the social phobia, but only you can overcome that. Try and look for activities in your area that you're interested in and join related groups on facebook. Get to know the people that are into them online a bit and it'll be easier to meet them IRL.

>>18286817
>>social phoboia

You have shit genes. Don't reproduce.

>>18288008
>You have shit genes. Don't reproduce.
In my opinion it would be sad if the genes, that have passed themselves through more than 100.000 human generations will end so easily...

>>18286816
You can go one of two ways, you can quit and do something else, or you can conform at work.

Anyone who says you have to be 100% you 100% of the time is a fuckface. Putting on a normie mask for a shift is what I've been doing at work for literally 20 years. It's none of their fucking business.

I keep my mouth shut, I don't cause any problems, I do exactly what I have to, then I punch the clock and wash the fake me off and do my own shit.

Everywhere I've worked has had shit like this come up because I'm not like my "peers". But I just go there to get a check, not to make friends.

>>18286864
thank you for your divine wisdom, that helps a really fuckton alot.

>>18286816

>what should I do?

Focus on getting a new job and improving your life. Seriously, there are literally a trillion things more important than the opinions of a bunch of adolescent burnouts working at a fucking movie theater.

In my experience, most burnout type occupations foster a really tight pack mentality, meaning that unless you conform with their group and their mannerisms they'll immediately dismiss you because being able to come to work and pick on someone is literally their only escape from feeling like terrible failures. This shit has happened to me at several different jobs simply because I didn't hang out with everyone after work and I didn't show up to company hang outs and shit. I honestly didn't give a shit about my entry level shit-tier job and the people there took that as disrespect and, in a way, it was. They were pissed because I was just breezing through that job on my way to college and they were 18-24 years old working the same shitty job for years wandering aimlessly while doing nothing with their lives.

Even in your next job, don't get caught up in office politics. Its pointless and dumb and its what useless people do to entertain themselves and distract them from the fact that they're shit and their job is shit.

>>18286802
What branch and what field are you looking into?

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>>18286846
>branch
Definitely non the marines, i am not nor do i dream to be some elite warrior bad ass.

Ive heard the Airforce/Navy is better apparently, althought desu im not super educated on what certain things offer. Ive only really considered this recently, and i dont know anyone personally that has enlisted so i can't ask them

i saw this on FB, but ive also heard recruiters lie alot so i am a bit skeptical on things that sound too good to be true

So ideally i guess Navy/Airrforce but whatever helps me get a good job later on works

>Field
Im guessing you mean job field, in which case I wanted IT/Computer related things, but im open minded to anything that pays well and has a future outside the military.

>>18286802
Have fun becoming an unthinking drone.