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TL;DR: People don't talk to me despite me being open towards them. What do?
It's an issue that has followed me from middle school, through high school and now persists even when I am in college. I'm a fairly extroverted guy when in company, I am not afraid to speak about my thoughts (which most often are why/how questions often lacking a determinate answer) and am generally in line with the social dogma. I love being the center of attention, communicating and sharing myself with the world. I am not afraid to sing when opportunity arises, though I admit I am not particularly good at it, and not afraid of taking the initiative regarding familiar tasks, though uncertain in my ability to initiate things that although do not seem odd, have not yet been performed by someone else with a desired outcome. I do not make odd comments, e.g. sharing the story of my uncle committing suicide during a conversation about whisky (even if I did have such a story to share).
I have a wide span of interests and can engage in conversation about almost any topic, excluding pop culture. There is not a single person I have met that I couldn't find a common ground with, despite finding myself among people with greatly varying social status. This ability has greatly improved during my later years, further strengthening my albeit weak, yet still existing, self-confidence.
This all ends when I leave school/uni. As soon as I say good bye to anyone I have ever talked to face to face, I never hear from them until the day our fates cross once again, i.e. next time I'm in the university. Despite my classmates going to parties and doing things together outside of school, I am never invited, unless I make part of some larger group that is invited, e.g. the entire class, or the entire section of a company I used to work for. But never do I receive a personal invitation.
Continuing below, pic related, would place myself at beta positive.
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>>18288303
OP here, cont:
If I were to ask if I could come to an event, the answer would surely be yes, but it is more likely to be because of common courtesy, and not someone's desire to have me at a particular event, especially if I haven't been too close to the organizer. As I enjoy social interaction and being in large groups of people, it hurts me not to be able to meet people when there is an opportunity, and yet I don't want to force it.
I have done a number of different tests (free online versions, decide for yourself regarding their accuracy) to check for Asperger's syndrome, Autism and ADHD, but they all show me to be a normal, functioning person. So I see no other explanations to my struggles other than
1. I look like fucking Quasimodo and people want to run when they see me, so they avoid it at all costs unless they have to be in my presence (such as school or work, where all my social interaction occurs), but this is doubtful. I might not be Prince Charming, but how much do looks matter to straight guys that have no sexual interest in me?
2. The more likely explanation would be that I am being a dick without noticing it myself, so people avoid me when they can because of my personality. This is the what I'm asking the advice for, mostly, how do you know you're being a dick? I don't make sassy or mean remarks, I try to keep the conversation always flowing and engaging as many people as there are in the group I am currently in. Do I think too good of myself, which somehow shines through?
I aspire to be a good member of any community and never turn down requests or favors, unless they really are impossible for me to execute or if I am engaged in something already. I don't talk shit to people's faces or behind their backs, but if I disagree on a point, I will state it unless I notice the matter to be obviously sensitive.
Cont below
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>>18288313
Last part
The fault is not with the people I meet, but instead with me, since I have met so many different people in so many different places, yet everything always stabilizes itself towards the same equilibrium - me being like a fish in the water at my workplace/school, and an outcast loner as soon as the bell rings. What do I do?
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>>18288316
By your pic, i tend between beta positive and Gamma positive. I lean more towards gamma though due to the career oath i am following.
I think letting you know my status would be important as well if other anons will to make yourself a picture.
Usually when someone invites me somewhere i decline unless it's some place i want to go, some place i like, or is not too far away. I don't really refuse a particular person unless it's someone that really pisses me off or someone that i do not know that much. Usually i only go out with my group of friends when we all gather. We are most likely all gamma and beta positives. Thing is we share interests and ideas. I am also a dick by personality. Mostly to close friends as we are just joking around. Not a dick to everyone.
If you are not a douche, i do not see why people would not want to invite you to anything and such. It sounds like you either do not share common interests or they do not know you well. Keep in mind that people like me almost never plan to go out. We usually gather as a group spontaneously after class or outside and do stuff. Unless there's a big event.
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>>18288316
Even so we both know that the pic is not 100% accurate
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>>18288356
you do make a valid point. The most likely truth is that they do not know me well enough, and, to be honest, I don't know the names of half my class mates despite being in a static group with them for almost a year. But even those I do know the names of and speak to daily seem to forget me completely as soon as I am out of sight.
The main issue is the different types of acquaintances I have - either people that enjoy going out and others that prefer staying inside their comfort zone. It seems impossible for me to leave the group that prefers the comfort zone - I love alcohol, drugs and generally doing stupid things (yes, I have had those moments; thank you,growing up in a ghetto). But the people (I say people because I only have two friends that speak to me outside of the university building) I have most ease contacting share completely different interests, such as cars, video games and TV-shows. I can communicate with pretty much anyone, because I can talk about anything, but these are not the people I actually want to talk to all the time, because they do not share many of the other interests I have. Too cool for nerds, too nerdy for the cool kids, eh... Perhaps I'm just bringing this onto myself and there is no problem at all... I don't really know what to make of my life.
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>>18288387
yeah but it gives an approximate picture of what the person is about, and helps understand and predict how he would feel in a particular situation
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