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You wake up, dizzy and disoriented, in a dirty bathroom. It's very dark, you can scarcely make out the rest of your surroundings.
Both your wrists are tied into a heavy device you feel strapped onto your back. On your chest you notice a combination lock holding together whatever the hell this thing is.
At your feet you notice a small knife and a tape recorder. You pick up the tape and press play.
A distorted voice begins to fill the room.
> hello, /fit/
> you don't know me, but I know you.
> you spend your every waking hour at the gym,
> slowly building. sculpting. doing the same things over and over.
> isn't that the definition of insanity?
> you think your perfect body makes you a god. we're about to see what kind of god you are.
You hear a cough at the other end of the room, in the shadows. You jerk your head up and stare in to the darkness. You're not alone in this room.
> the device on your back is on a timer. if the timer runs out while you're still wearing it, both of your arms are going to be ripped from their sockets.
You stare at the tape recorder in disbelief.
> chest day will be but a distant memory.
You begin to frantically claw at the lock, until you hear the tape again.
> the timer on the device was set to roughly 20 minutes. Lord knows how much time passed before you woke up.
> the combination to the lock is located inside the stomach of the man at the far end of the room -
You look back into the shadows. Peering closer, you can make out the faint shape of an unconscious man on the ground.
You race over and drag the man to your end of the room. You ready the knife but the dim light pours faintly over the man's head...
> - I believe you know him.
...revealing the face of Steve Cook.
> there are only men and gods in this world. But only one god is going to leave this room alive.
> live or die. the choice is yours.
The tape cuts out.
What do, /fit/?
18 Posts / 3 Images
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>>39409295
Kill Steve and eat his flesh for the protein required to rip the harness off. Then pushups to failure
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>>39409295
I'd gut Steve like a fish and then skullfuck that goddamn puppet
>>
this is a retarded scenario i got a better one:
>you wake up in an empty windowless room with the door bolted shut
>you are naked except for a metallic box sticking out your groin. the only other objects in the room are a scalpel, a hack saw, a burner, a scale, and a tv
>the tv turns on
"Hello, anon. I want to play a game. You have spent your precious youth in pursuit of vanity. You sculpt a beautiful body for your ego, for women, and for the sake of forever sealing your insecurity. I want to know what you value most of the sculpt you have created. You have 5 minutes to remove 20 pounds of your own flesh or else the device around your genitals will activate, cutting off your penis and burning the wound. You will not die from blood loss. You will leave this room lesser than when you came in. Make a choice..."
Anonymous
Push Up Thread: Diamond Edition 2016-11-14 14:37:24 Post No.39407534
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Push Up Thread: Diamond Edition 2016-11-14 14:37:24 Post No.39407534
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Push Up Thread: Diamond Edition
Anonymous
2016-11-14 14:37:24
Post No. 39407534
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Time to go ham on them triceps!!
23 Posts / 3 Images
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>>39407534
>>
>>39407580
R I P
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>>39407534
r0ll
Anonymous
catching STDS while making it 2016-11-14 22:07:26 Post No.39410950
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catching STDS while making it 2016-11-14 22:07:26 Post No.39410950
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catching STDS while making it
Anonymous
2016-11-14 22:07:26
Post No. 39410950
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So once youre finally fit and make it and fuck sl00ts , what do you do when you catch an STD or herpes or warts? Tbh familia im terrified of catching something that fucking random girls isnt a goal anymore... even with condoms theres risks.... whats your view on this /fit/
316 Posts / 34 Images
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>>39410950
you can get warts even with a condom just fyi. just try your best not to fuck total whores.. thats about as much as you can do
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Just now getting over the clap. Shit sucks. Watch where you stick your dingus.. Bruce's rules.
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>>39410950
>whats your view on this /fit/
Ive been lifting for two years and im at 91kg/185cm/14% bf and i havent had the "problem" of being able to bang random sluts yet because i havent found one
Also condoms are pretty fucking secure mate, dont worry
Anonymous
Got bloodwork, test is LOW AS FUCK 2016-11-15 13:38:41 Post No.39417037
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Got bloodwork, test is LOW AS FUCK 2016-11-15 13:38:41 Post No.39417037
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Got bloodwork, test is LOW AS FUCK
Anonymous
2016-11-15 13:38:41
Post No. 39417037
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>tfw high levels of prolactin (204)
>tfw female levels of testosterone (24ng/dL, normal for males is 270-1,070)
>did roids 4 years back and smoke weed daily
Okay. Time to completely fix up my fucking life and habits.
After this though, and I go back to get tested in a few months; if my shit is still low, do I go on permanent test?
Britfag here
73 Posts / 8 Images
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>>39417037
become a trap instead
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>>39417037
prolactin that low is indicative of low dopamine btw, don't forget to get checked for depression while you're unfucking yourself
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>>39417060
oh right drug abuse, disregard
check again when you're not a full-time degenerate
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I need some help /fit/.
So, I'm joining the Australian Defence Force, and the physical and fitness requirements for the Air Force are: a maximum BMI of 32.9, and 29.9 for Pilots, 10 push-ups, 20 sit-ups, 6.5 shuttle run score.
Now, I can do the 10 push-ups and 20 sit-ups, but I can't do the 6.5 shuttle run. The last time I did it was in the 10th grade (I've just finished my final year of highschool last month), and if I remember correctly I got a 3.5. So a pretty shit score.
My BMI right now is 33-33.5
So my question is, how can I lower my BMI to 29.9, and how can I get ready to achieve a 6.5 shuttle run score in the fastest time possible. I'm not sure exactly when the fitness test will be, but I can assume that it'll be within the next 3 months. I also won't be in the country for the whole month of December, as I'll be in Japan so I can't do much training there. But at least if I stick to fish and shit I won't be eating as much unhealthy food as I do now.
Right now, the fitness requirement is the only thing stopping me from being able to join the ADF.
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So you want to learn how to lose weight, while simultaneously becoming a better runner. I honestly wouldn't worry about meeting a fitness requirement because you'll be rejected for being a retard.
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>>39416890
So what you're saying is... I should just do a bunch of running?
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>>39416860
Consider using thermogenic preworkout supplements. You'll gain muscle, shed body fat, and so on.
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>in university gym today
>diddlyliftin 425 for reps
>using rubber plates for the first two pl, metal plates for the second two
>gym supervisor comes over and asks me to switch to all rubber plates, prevent floor damage
>"yeah, sure, no problem."
>make the switch, begin chalking up for next set
>supervisor comes over again after set is finished
>"could you clean up your chalk after youre done? would be a lot less work for the staff here."
>"oh, i didnt even think about that. yeah, sure."
>finish deadlifts
>clean up chalk
>do rest of workout
>back to dorm, post on zimbabwean spetzel-making forum
so, /fit/, how beta am i?
52 Posts / 8 Images
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>>39412914
Not beta at all, you were being polite. Good job, OP.
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>>39412914
if you're using chalk you better be going double overhand you gaylord
>>
I mean that's pretty chill they even let you use chalk if you're not an autist and leave a huge mess.
My school gym just outlawed it completely
Now we have to use this liquid chalk bullshit
Anonymous
QTDDTOT: Vocaroo edition 2016-11-14 07:13:07 Post No.39405378
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QTDDTOT: Vocaroo edition 2016-11-14 07:13:07 Post No.39405378
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http://vocaroo.com/i/s1fmNFyn7Bzp
325 Posts / 49 Images
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they get injections in the clinic lol
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>>39405378
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0knrJfZVP4U
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Best way to improve plank time?
>tfw bench is shit
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE how are normies so good at it? I can't fucking do it properly and I can't keep my shoulders back fml I'm weakest in the one area people care about.
Symmetric strength thread I guess.
180 Posts / 60 Images
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I brace my legs under the bench and clench my shoulders.
use wrist wraps for added stability.
maybe try some different rep schemes
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>hit 130lbs 5x5 today
feels good, finally going to go for lmao1pl8 next time I bench
don't ask how long i've been training
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>>39403463
How long have you been training?
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Brehs...
72 Posts / 20 Images
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>>39418897
can't tell its sex
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>>39418897
jesus christ guys pass the clorox
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>>39418897
it looks like a fat pubescent boy
Daily reminder you're a literal bitch ass pussy if you dont squat. Exceptions are people who actually have knee, back and hip injuries obviously.
Get in the gym and squat, you big fucking whimp.
76 Posts / 14 Images
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>>39415126
i only lift to look good and have sex with sluts
i look great and have sex with sluts without squatting. i will continue to not squat
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>>39415158
>implying you need to lift to get sluts
lmao
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>>39415165
i didn't imply that. it makes it a hell of a lot easier though, now that you've mentioned it
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This is the natty limit right
214 Posts / 22 Images
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>>39412355
bad
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thats a god damn nice gf
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>>39412355
not today
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We choosing the new queen of /fit/
108 Posts / 48 Images
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beast.
>>
as a polishfag i can say that kowalkiewicz is far more beautiful.
BUT i like jedrzejczyk is more fun.
I pick Jędrzejczyk
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Where's the fat people hate you fucks?
I am sitting here eating one (1) sandwich enjoying
my carb allowance, and I want to browse some
FPS to stop my appetite running away from me.
Lets go cunts. I dont have any OC but here's
a couple of beauties i saved a while back, cheers.
323 Posts / 73 Images
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wrong file, as if that face could ever be described as wrong.
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Reddit refugees need to go and stay go.
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>>39404471
I'm sure she looks like a witch without the ten layers of makeup.
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>"...a gallon? A gallon of milk a day?"
318 Posts / 56 Images
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>>39408484
y-you too
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>"M-memes?"
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>"You eat how many eggs a day?"
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>What's your profession?
>What time do you wake up on the morning?
>How many hours a week do you spend working out?
>how many hours do you work?
>Do you have a gf?
326 Posts / 38 Images
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>>39411407
Got distracted and asked the same question twice
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>>39411407
i wanna wiener her
>>
Engineer
7:00am
10 hours
40 hours
Yes and she has a nice butt