Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4247. page

I think most guys need to make some effort to have a girlfriend. They usually tolerate a lot of crap and/or wait a while to get one. It's not exactly easy, far as I can tell. You're not alone.

>>17454924
idk man, I just try to use it but most of the girls dont even anser me.

For starters don't expect a sane, rational woman out of online dating. Online dating appeals to those who are too fucked up to try to meet people IRL. There's a handful of normal people on there, but you will be in a sea of daddy issues and damaged goods.
Second of all, don't expect a relationship out of tinder. It is notoriously a hook up site. Sounds like you're at least cool with that, but don't get your hopes up.

Here's my personal instarejection list as a femanon.
>Group picture as main picture
I don't wanna waste my time trying to figure out which one is you. And chances are your friend/brother/whoever is hotter than you anyways. To be even worse, all your pics are group pics. I won't even bother and just swipe nah. Keep group pics to 1-2, and never make them the main pic.
>Posing with girl
I will assume that's your type, and if I dont fit that look, I'll move on. This ones more personal on me, imo, I don't know if many other girls share this thought process, but that's what I think. I would limit pics with other girls.
>Posing with young kid
I will assume it's yours and nope out so fast. If you do fall for the "grils will think you're nice and caring if you pose with little kids/animals" meme, make sure you indicate in your profile that it is NOT your kid. Still though, I'd avoid it.
>Dead animal in pic.
I live in a country area, so this is common. Idc if hunting is your hobby, but when I'm looking at your pics seeing a dead deer isn't exactly setting the "dating" mood. It's just kinda unsettling.

she has autism. im sorry anon there is no cure

Bumpppp

she's weird

>>17454824
>I feel you have changed in ways that names us no longer compatible for a friendship. A, B, C reasons. I just don't feel we really connect anymore.

>>17454833
That makes us*

>>17454824
You didn't directly say it, but you don't want to tell the person this straight up, do you?

Maybe change your personality when around this person to one which will drive them away.

Anons, please. I will give myself one bump.

How to cook.

I lived out for 6 months. Living at home before I move to a new apartment.

What I wish I knew before I moved out?
You can get very lonely.
Giving your gf the spare key is a bad idea.
Decorating is expensive and takes time.

Np anon. Good luck!

It's always okay to lie.

It's not okay to get caught.

>>17454815
That depends on your moral perspective, and your level of moral flexibility. The severity of what you're trying to hide, and the effect of lying about it, matters too.

Say you had xx amount of sexual partners. That fact embarks you on an adventure of discomfort and embarrassment.

Okay to lie? Yes/no

By the way. It's just a general discussion.

Hookers and blow?

>>17454801
Trying to cut down on my unhealthy habits and I think both of those would qualify.

>>17454810
I'm not a therapist but I think sadness comes from to much idle time. I don't know what your schedule's like but if you have no purpose in life you will be sad. Being horny..... tinder? feed the geese?

pls

>How to PCP
>not about drugs
wew

So you go to a doctor. If you like him, you keep going back. If you don't, you go someplace else next time. To get a referral, you ask your doctor for one.

>>17454977
thx

also i guess my image was misleading

This did not help, as over the last four years I have still thought about her quite a bit, despite minimal contact when we happened to both be in our home town and run into each other (maybe three times total in four years). We have some mutual friends so I haven't been able to avoid her completely without also avoiding the people who are my only real friends. From our limited interactions it seems that she at least no longer hates me.

Over the years my yearning and affection shifted to anger and resentment toward her. In my head I was blaming her for my depression when really I know she was just the straw to break the camel's back.

She recently moved to my city (as I was told by a mutual friend) and since then my anxiety has been through the roof. I can't stop thinking about her, how she treated me back then, how she has completely moved on as though I never existed. And I know it's ridiculous. It isn't like we ever dated or anything. But these thoughts keep coming.

I know that I shouldn't hold these grudges. I think it's a symptom of my anxiety. Obviously "out of sight, out of mind" has not worked. Maybe if I could somehow forgive her I could stop thinking about her. But I don't know how to do so.

Does anyone have any advice? Should I continue trying to avoid her and focus on other things in hopes that I can eventually forget? Should I attempt to forgive her, and how would I do that? I just want to move on.

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>>17454793
Pick up a book, go excerise, maybe play a game. You need something that will lower your stress levels. I have some severe anxiety as well, I was able to overcome this by taking my mind of it through joyful activities. Playing video games helped me a lot. The ability to only be judged by your character and not your looks/life is a big bonus to gaming. I do warn you though, don't get addicted and don't use it as a complete substitute. I mean, it doesn't have to be video games anyway. Go exercise a lot, weightlifting was pretty effective for me. And if you don't like exercise, try to find a group of people that have similar views to you. Join a club, meet people, you don't have to be charismatic or talkative to make friends. I was, and still, a vary quiet person and yet I have made good friends (I joined a politics club). Sometimes you need to garner as much will power as possible and say fuck it solely to move on.

I don't know if this helps, it worked for me.

>>17454797
>Should I continue trying to avoid her and focus on other things in hopes that I can eventually forget?
Absolutely. Your relationship with her is an obvious dead-end and it's only made you miserable. As for how to move on, I think the only real way is to get a new girlfriend to replace her in your mind. There is a huge amount of material online discussing how to do that, so there's not much point me trying to do it in one post; I don't have any special insights.

>Should I attempt to forgive her, and how would I do that?
Yes. You need to understand that she was just a dumb kid when you knew her and that she probably never meant to hurt you. The problem is that you likely won't be able to do that until after you've moved on and got a healthy perspective on the whole thing.

>>17454785

When people are young and dumb they make mistakes and don't own up to them. Often it's having a kid and then not being in their lives. Then when they (the parent) get older, they reminisce about the past and realize that their life is pretty much a downwards spiral with no meaning, so what do they do? They contact their kid in some desperate effort to connect and bond because they feel lonely, irresponsible, and fearful of the end.

How did you turn out? Was your life tougher or shit because your father was not around? Did you never have a male role model? Abused by one of your mother's shitty boyfriends? If that is the case, you need to ask yourself what gives your biological father the right to simply try to walk into your life over two decades later after abandoning you. If you feel sympathetic and like you long for a connection with your biological dad, sure, arrange a meeting and see how things go. But if it were me, I wouldn't even bother. When a parent just walks out of their kids life because they so fucking irresponsible they can't stick around or even make a minor effort to be there for them, then they can't choose when to walk back. It's your decision.

>>17454785
If you feel any resentment towards hum, then pretend that you will let him into your life, but don't make too much of an effort to do so.

If you don't have anything against him, then I would recommend talking to him from time to time.

>>17454819
You act like life is so simple and cut and dry. I'm not saying OPs father has an excuse, even with good context you never really have a decent excuse to abandon your child.

BUT, OP shouldn't be so closed off to something that could be a good thing if not closure for the bitterness that comes across in your post.

Let's see what's going on in the world today...

>Olympics
>Football season started
>Baseball is almost to playoffs
>Weather is changing in everyones favor
>It's friday
>payday
>weekend on the horizon
>almost monday again
>long work week
>hillary clinton
>donald trump

>>17454779
> Olympics
Who watches those lmao
> Football season started
> Baseball is almost to playoffs
Don't care about sports
> Weather is changing in everyones favor
"Nice wheater isn't it?"
"Yeah"
". . ."
> It's friday
Yes... Finally here...
> payday
Studying
> weekend on the horizon
This could work i guess but still not enough
> almost monday again
Garflief hate mondays :^(
> long work week
I don't work
> hillary clinton
> donald trump
Not american, and politics in general aren't a good topic for casual conversations

Food is a universal topic.

No, you'll just have to suck it up.

>>17454736
If you have some silk fabric, you could wear over the sunburn. Silk is super smooth so it may help, but it very well may not.

You know ibuprofen works with sunburns right??

Try to be an electrician or work in HVAC. Theyre similar to construction, but I'm pretty sure the pay is higher.

>>17454831
Not to be a Debbie Downer buddy but a good number of my friends are in electrical and are hurting bad. Two gave up altogether while the other 2 are close to giving up as well.
>Will look at HVAC though.
Thanks

Take the construction job if you think you'll like it. It's not permanent. My first job paid $8.25/hour. My second paid $9.25. My third $15. My fourth paid $40k/year. My fifth paid six figures.

>>17454719

Shoot your father and have sex with your mother duuuuh. You think these nude performance art pieces are just random? She is trying to get the attention of the alpha male (you) so you can take out the beta male (your father) and then rule over the kingdom of the campus. What are you some kind of fag?

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>>17454719
Tell her that you're all for sex positivity and all that shit, but that her flaunting her body around campus is severely impacting your state of mind and making your college life difficult.
If she can't get over it and stop for your sake, she might just be a complete bitch/ insatiably hungry for cock.

Do nude art shows like she does.

Yes. It will literally haunt you for the rest of your life and give you PTSD. There is no escape or cure. Sorry OP.

Are you a freshman?
Depends. I've been in college for 3 years now and did the exact same thing as you my freshman year. Thought it was all stupid and not worth my time.
Haven't made a single friend the entire time I've been in school. It's next to impossible once everyone settles in with their own crowds. So if that existence doesn't bother you, then you'll be fine. If it does, then yeah you'll regret it.

>>17454705
Let's all love Lain.

*love her to death

>>17454695
>Is it just ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome?
Pretty much. But people like you will always feel that way, no matter who you're with, until you realize how good you have it.

>What should I do? What should I say to her?
There's nothing to say that won't make this end in heartache and a broken relationship. These are thoughts and feelings that you need to figure out for yourself.

>I feel married. Domesticated. I’m not old enough to legally drink for Christ’s sake: I shouldn’t feel like my romantic life has reached its peak!
Routine and lack of spontaneity are the death of any relationship. You both need to put forth effort into keeping things alive. I've been with my guy for over 15 years (he's my first and only) but we still feel like young kids in love. We're always doing silly, fun things, going on dates and exploring new and different things together. When we're at home, we make new food together, watch movies, or play vidya. But we're always having fun together.

How's the sex life? Is she your first? Those can be contributing factors to feeling bored or like you're missing out.

I started dating my soon to he wife when I was 18 (going to be 22 in a few days). She's older (27) and had her early 20s to date (only one sexual relationship before me), so she worries about me feeling like you. She's always held the door open for me to explore sexually as long as I am open and honest about who it is and when it's happening (offered to join in too). It's not an open relationship per se because she has no interest in anyone else, but she doesn't want me to feel like I "wasted" my youth being "chained" to someone else. I haven't taken her up on the offer because I believe that I'm not missing out on anything. The sex is mind blowing, so I don't believe I'm missing out on anything but anal, and even then we're experimenting with that slowly. I really think that if the sex was bad then I would be feeling like you. There's only so much that sweet cuddling could cover for a male.

It's a true treat to grow together, and I wouldn't want to change anything. Hopefully you find your answers.