What do you do when you're 23 and suddenly get this message

>>17454785

When people are young and dumb they make mistakes and don't own up to them. Often it's having a kid and then not being in their lives. Then when they (the parent) get older, they reminisce about the past and realize that their life is pretty much a downwards spiral with no meaning, so what do they do? They contact their kid in some desperate effort to connect and bond because they feel lonely, irresponsible, and fearful of the end.

How did you turn out? Was your life tougher or shit because your father was not around? Did you never have a male role model? Abused by one of your mother's shitty boyfriends? If that is the case, you need to ask yourself what gives your biological father the right to simply try to walk into your life over two decades later after abandoning you. If you feel sympathetic and like you long for a connection with your biological dad, sure, arrange a meeting and see how things go. But if it were me, I wouldn't even bother. When a parent just walks out of their kids life because they so fucking irresponsible they can't stick around or even make a minor effort to be there for them, then they can't choose when to walk back. It's your decision.

>>17454785
If you feel any resentment towards hum, then pretend that you will let him into your life, but don't make too much of an effort to do so.

If you don't have anything against him, then I would recommend talking to him from time to time.

>>17454819
You act like life is so simple and cut and dry. I'm not saying OPs father has an excuse, even with good context you never really have a decent excuse to abandon your child.

BUT, OP shouldn't be so closed off to something that could be a good thing if not closure for the bitterness that comes across in your post.

>>17454836

Yeah I am bitter not going to lie I resent my shitty father for a ton of reasons.

>>17454785

OP >>17454819 here. Don't let my bitterness cloud your judgement on how to handle the situation, but hey take my words into consideration.

>>17454785
Are you from a single parent family?
Or do you have a father already?

>>17454923
Mother got into an abusive relationship and DSS took me. After 3 years of that my aunt and uncle took me in and ive been with them for the majority of my life

He's saying ''your family'' did you get a kid or wife of your own?

>>17454973
The family I lived with after he left the picture

>>17454986
Hmm I don't know also grew up without my dad and your situation is a fucking horror situation for me.

You're already an adult and while a father can be helpful his record is anything but convincing and you have to imagine that he'll be ready to bail again as soon as push comes to shove.

I say do what you feel you need to do, this might be your chance to reconnect or you'll meet him and it'll be a huge burden off of your shoulders and you can move on in your life without him.
Shit man this is like a nightmare, you need to think about it for yourself what you need or want to do now.

I don't have anything smart or helpful to say, all I can say maybe is that I understand and I locked that emotional box up and threw it way deep long ago.
This is your thing, if it helps don't get charmed by him and used up he left you once and for 23 years and you're not a child anymore too. Take care of yourself, you will find out what the right move for you would be.

>>17455003
>you have to imagine that he'll be ready to bail again as soon as push comes to shove.
Sadly, this. My parents divorced when I was very young and I had zero contact with my father. He contacted me when I was 14 or so, trying to mend things or something. He was around for a year or so and then he completely vanished. I never heard from him again.

Your father might genuinely want to know you, but just be ready for possible heartbreak. I'd go for it if I were you. At best, you'll gain a father. At worst, well... you'll get closure, at least

Got into an argument with my birth mother about her giving him my number without my consent and burned that bridge. Plan on sending a simple "Why did you leave us" and depending on the answer will change what happens next..

Hear him out, hear his intentions, some people reconnect with there parents and they really bond and fix everything.

>i got your number from dolly
do you know a Dolly?

>>17454973
Either tell him to fuck off or try and get money from him.
Unless you want to talk with him about how badly he dropped the ball, just by choosing to fuck the wrong girl and then leave.

>>17455630
Birth mothers nickname. It's a family name that everyone calls her. The chances of some random guy getting that are slim to none. Especally when its a washington state number and I'm in South Carolina