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How do you flirt?
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Fart at them to assert your dominance
chicks go primal for that shit
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>>17685707
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read OP as 'how do you fillet'
long story short, I flirt well.
how do you flirt, OP?
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chess
sports
exercise
anime
what more?
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>>17685682
Shoot some pure black tar heroin
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>>17685682
1.) sleep
2.) eat drugs
3.) eat food
4.) do everything last minute
5.) contemplate suicide
6.) go to bed
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>>17685713
>>17685719
sick of drugs. particularlly black tar
the one ting im leaving out is my fear of not being able to gtfo cos im sick and tired
recovering from WRN
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So, I went to the doctors a few days ago for a colonoscopy. They gave me this stuff to take that basically made me shit liquid. Easy clean up was kinda nice. Lol.
Anyways, went in for the actual procedure... aaaand. Bad news. I have colon cancer. They ran a few extra tests to confirm, but sure enough, I got it.
I'm an officer in the military, so this will change my career quite a bit. I have a fiancé and family members that I haven't told yet. Infact, they didn't even know I went in for the colonoscopy.
So... what now? I think I'm taking it pretty well because I just see it as another battle in life I have to defeat, but deep down I'm scared shit less (ha, get it?).
How do I tell everyone I love that I love that there's something that can kill me inside of me and there's nothing any of us can do?
I need some help /adv/
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>>17685673
so what exactly is your prognosis? Sorry to hear that btw friend, if you don't make it we'll remember you as another brave anon who fell before HL3.
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>>17685673
What have you the impression you needed a colonoscopy? I shit blood kind of regularly but it only happens when I drink a LOT of caffeine. I also get no fiber in my diet. The blood is bright red in color. I should probably have one just in case. Good luck with you anon.
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>>17685683
Stage II, so a 75-85% of survival for the first 5 years as long as there aren't any "complications", whatever that means.
>>17685698
Regularly occuring diarrhea and bloody stool are signs to get checked, so I did.
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Guys, what is an alternative to tissues for cumming in when behind the computer that doesn't require you to do laundry.
Bonus points for ways that while living with other people.
25 Posts / 1 Images
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i guess you could cum in a cup or a bowl and then just rinse it out
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>>17685612
i buy this giant bundle of rags its like 8 bucks for over thirty.
just throw em away when im done.
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Any suggestions for something that could be sealed and inconspicuous, for rinsing it out later ?
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What do you keep your keys and spare change in when at home?
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yeah right like i would give up my very important personal information just like that
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In my pants?
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>>17685605
A hook or a small bin/dish on a table near the door?
Why?
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I think im gonna have a mental breakdown sooner or later. Every second feels like constant agony and it doesnt feel like i can help myself. What should i do
7 Posts / 1 Images
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>>17685582
J-join the club?
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Does your area have free mental health clinics? Phone one ASAP.
What exactly feels like agony? What does it feel like and where does it hurt? Trying to focus on the physical parts of what you're feeling often helps to calm people down.
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>>17685582
>constant agony
don't take yourself so seriously. no one else does.
most young people put imaginary pressure on themselves.
Anonymous
Got a girls number but it was awkward af 2016-10-19 18:08:15 Post No.17685518
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Got a girls number but it was awkward af 2016-10-19 18:08:15 Post No.17685518
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Got a girls number but it was awkward af
Anonymous
2016-10-19 18:08:15
Post No. 17685518
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Ok so I was waiting at the university bus stop when I saw this super cute girl. I asked her if she knew how close the buses were (There's an app that tracks the buses real time and I saw she had it open) then I started a conversation about one of her tattoos (it was R2D2 with some flowers)
We hopped on the bus and since there weren't really any seats open I stood off and expected the convo to end there. After we got off the bus she chased after me and was like "hey sorry I stopped talking to you I just didn't want to stand in the way." This is where it got slightly awkward. We were both kinda stammering in the conversation and it was ok I guess. I didn't really make her laugh either...Regardless I asked for her number anyway when we both got to the chem building and she was pretty quick to give it out.
idk guys it was pretty shitty small talk. No connection you know? Should I still text her? She was cute as hell.
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>R2D2 tattoo
I fucking approve
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>>17685518
Yeah, text her tomorrow or the day after. Ask to get coffee.
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Why are you even asking
Don't be dense
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So /adv/ I'm faced with a challenge that I'm in need of some advice on.
>sister gets knocked up by asshole
>asshole doesn't want kid but if it is his then wants custody rights
>3rd party white knight agrees to fake paternity so asshole can't get child
>other sister tells asshole that child belongs to white knight
>Asshole wants DNA test results for proof
Does anyone know how to forge a DNA test? I've found result form templates online that look shady as hell, afraid that asshole (even though a country hick with a low IQ) might google the name of the supposed company performing the tests, and find out our scheme. Thoughts?
6 Posts / 1 Images
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>>17685515
take that template and photoshop it. change it ot the name of a local hospital or something.
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Either way that kid isn't going to grow up with both parents. Why doesn't your sister just abort it?
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10 bucks says the sister is the real asshole here
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medfags of /adv/, will St Johns Wort cause my depression and ADHD to go away or at least hinder? I can't afford any prescription pills.
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>>17685512
>holistic
No
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You're better off looking up medicinal plants in books or the internet. Pharmacopeia, son.
Lots of shills or retards on 4chan will shit on you for wanting holistic treatment but almost all medicine comes from plants so ignore them.
Idk if you will find one to help your problems but if you research enough u will find something. There are a fuck ton of medicinal plants out there.
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>>17685512
Licensed for mild depression in adolescence in some countries
It'll do nothing for your ADHD
>medfag
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I get really really angry when I hear the sound of people chewing or drinking. I had an outburst once in my office when it was quiet and someone from across the room was slurping a drink and taking the loudest gulps, and sighing each time. I ended up shouting and flipped my keyboard over and stormed out into the hallway. Everyone thought it was just me getting mad at my work so they didnt think too much of it. But I still find this stuff causing me to flip out and its embarassing. Even more recently my brothers cat gets lonely and will come into my room and then lick itself on my bed. Its not nearly as bad but still I find I turn up the volume really loud and try to not look at the cat because the thought of it gets me angry and now I just keep the cat out.
I dont know how to control this or get over it.
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>>17685510
Sounds like you can barely converse with fellow humans as it is, so just wear ear plugs during your breaks. Listen to white noise so you can drown out their noises but not people talking to you
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>>17685510
You're not alone.
I feel just the same but only when I am tired, the solution for me was to start listening to a lot of music whenever I found myself in a situation like the one you mentioned. Also whenever (for example) I have to eat with my parents or family etc I just run some soft music in the background so I can't hear them eating, usually they are okey with that. However if you find this problem more complicated and it doesnt help - seriously seek medical help
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>>17685510
I can relate to that anon. Used to be the same. Idk how i got to the point where I could ignore that. I make fun of it now, or if i get very irritated it helps me to either imaging pummeling their face or tapping my foot or screwing around with pen or smthing
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Becoming more interesting.
Anonymous
2016-10-19 17:54:09
Post No. 17685477
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How do I make myself more interesting, both in general and at conversation?
I'm far from a lost cause; I go on dates and am pretty good at getting people to talk about themselves, but I feel like I don't have all that much to talk about besides some amusing stories from my past. My main hobbies are music (playing and writing) and exercise (jogging and weight lifting). I have a few bands that I love, and I follow a couple TV series as they come out every week, but other than that I don't take in too much media. I'm a med student, so between my two hobbies (which I'm very committed to) and studying, I don't have time to do too much else. That being said I'm open to any suggestions. I'll figure out the timing somehow if it seems like it'd be worth it.
Pic related: if I were as cool as Donald Glover I wouldn't have this problem.
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>>17685477
Do more interesting things. Talk passionately about the things that you're doing.
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>>17685500
Any recommendations on new things to look into doing? I feel like reading more isn't a terrible option but idk.
Also, I know that just doing new stuff won't on its own make me more interesting, trust me. I just wanna start taking the right steps to facilitate becoming more interesting.
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Im same kind of retard as op help us
Getting kicked out, only have $700 in my account. I have a good resume but not a job at the moment. I'm in California, what's the best way to make it?
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get whatever job you can get the fastest no matter what it is. get the cheapest apartment/living situation you can find asap, continue to look for another job while you keep yourself afloat working the one you have
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>>17685450
ill let you crash at my place if you're cute. rents 200 bucks a month, you dont have to let me do anything to your butt, but we will make out / jerk off together. i have a really nice queen sized bed in my two bedroom apartment (Got a roomie in the spare room).
can also get you set up with two jobs, though both are temp, ones at a call center and ones at abercrombie and fitch
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>>17685575
>if you're cute
Well I'm fucked
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Has anyone been in this kind of relationship?
>the girl fell for you first before you did to her
>you were her first everything, kiss and sex and such
>she admitted she loved you fairly early in the relationship (less than 2 months)
>said she'd never change you for anything and wanted to marry you and spend her whole life with you
What is the likely hood she'll leave me?
I'm extremely paranoid and she is my first real relationship (I'm her first real boyfriend too) and I want to know what's gonna happen or if you've been through something similar only to find out they were just acting in impulse
31 Posts / 4 Images
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>>17685449
She cheated on me.
I tried to stay strong and work through it..
It crashed and burned years later due to not being able to forgive her.
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>>17685459
How long into the relationship did she cheat on you
Stay strong anon
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>What is the likely hood she'll leave me?
Like, what, in the next month? Very low.
Next year? Still pretty low.
Before death sets you apart? Very high.
We aren't fortune guessers, there may be a huge fight tomorrow for some reason you can't even suspect right now and you may break up. Or you may have the perfect relationship you wish for until you die. It's all about the circumstances you'll be put into, your personalities and the choices both of you will make.
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So, I was riding my bike home from Subway one day with my two "friends" Brian and Phillip. Brian was a chubby little future-fairy, and Phillip was just an ADD riddled spaz.
Anyway, we were coming back home on our bikes, and Brian kept calling me "Reschedule Rick" in an antagonistic fashion, over and over, because my name is Rick and I used to reschedule chill time a lot. I could feel my blood boiling, and my autism tipping over to a point of no return, but he's so dumb and oblivious to the world around him that he didn't catch on that I was getting extremely pissed.
Anyway, Phillip the snarl toothed faggot starting chiming in and I just blew up. I slammed my bike into his, punched him in the arm so hard that he fell over, and pounded his torso so hard that he was bruised for weeks.
Then I rode off, and a week later we chilled again. This was 15 years ago.
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>>17685425
what do you need advice on?
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>>17685811
He needed advice 15 years ago but had to reschedule
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WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
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Looking for advice for colleges to look into. Spent my whole life not knowing anything about them and same with my family, only in the recent months have I been researching what to look for in a college.
I have around a 3.85 Weighted and 33 ACT, decent extracurriculars. I have only been applying to places in California for Computer Engineering but really want to extend my reach to out of state. I'm really looking for places in the snow or rain with good comp eng programs, are there any I can shoot for?
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Bumpin, feel free to hijack this thread for your own college needs.
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>>17685642
>feel free to hijack this thread for your own college needs
Well then.
How do I decide what to study? It's fucking impossible. There's way too much variety. And the only thing I'd be kinda interested in would be fucking useless to get a job, so I can forget that.
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>>17685676
What is it you're kind of interested in?