Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3546. page

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Hey /adv/, first time here
When is it ok to quit a job without another lined up?

I’m debating quitting my job with nothing else lined up next month. I’m a 24 year old chemical engineer and I’ve been working at my first job out of college for the last 2 and a half years. I started dating a girl 3 and a half years ago in college. We’ve been 200 miles away from each other since I started working, and she recently graduated and started a PhD program 3 months ago and is now 500 miles away.
I’m really tired of being so far away from her, and since we’re both serious about our relationship I figured I might as well go ahead and move down to her to start life with her.
I like my current job well enough, but it’s in a dying rural Midwest town, there’s no future here and I’d be looking to leave after 3 years or so anyway.
I have a house to sell, along with 2 cars and a good amount of shit my family dumped on me once I bought my house, so moving won’t be super quick or easy.
However, conventional wisdom says I should have another job lined up, employment gaps are bad, etc. I’ve been applying to jobs the past couple weeks but haven’t heard anything yet. However I’m also concerned that if I do get another job I’ll have to start immediately and keeping making the drive back to my current town to move my shit and sell my house.
So my options are to:
1. Quit my job next month and put all of my energy into fixing up and selling my house, moving, and finding another job
2. Put my house on the market and wait until I get a bite on it, then quit my job and move and look for a job once I’m there
3. Wait until I get a new job lined up, then move and try to sell my house as I start my new job
Any good /adv/ for me? I’m about 75% sure I’m gonna take option 1, but also don’t want to rek my career either.
Am I fucking stupid for considering any of those?

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How do I stop caring about a certain girl?
I'm a 21 year old virgin and lately I've been doing ok keeping away from women, my routine makes it easy. But this last month a new workmate has been transfered and it's driving me crazy, to make things worse we share the same desk.
She is close to my boss and has a boyfriend, so trying something is not even an option, besides she is nothing special to be honest. But her presence, her face, her voice and her smell always draw my attention, I get overconscious about everything I do, anxious, and it's affecting my performance. As I write this, it all sounds really stupid. And it really is.

I just want to be in peace and control myself. How do I ignore her?

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why are old people so incredibly fucking stupid and self centered? if you had a problem with old people, how would you deal with them?

i'm 24 years old from a chinese family, and i have an uncle & aunt who are complete incompetent idiots. They think they're entitled to tell me their nasty opinions about my friends and people I date, and they expect me to cut off contacts with anyone they don't agree with.

I grew up here in canada, so I don't know what their culture is supposed to be and I'm not interested. they grew up in the 1960s-1980s and both worked shitty or half decent jobs. they have no intelligence or skill whatsoever, and they're completely clueless about what is social norm here. despite all this, they think they're top shit, and believe they have some sort of power among relatives. it pisses me off like nothing else.

my goal is to have them eventually stop contacting me or my parents. I don't want to have anything to do with them. I thought about giving them a speech about basically how they're not competent to give me any advice and they should really mind their own business, but thats probably going to come off as insulting no matter how I put it.

How do I go about doing this without causing harm to myself or my parent's reputation?

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I've overly optimistic and it ruins my life. I have the highest hopes for EVERYTHING, and I believe things and people are much better than they are. I fucking hate it. I believe that my shitty ex girlfriends will turn around and be amazing people that want to get together again when one of them texts me out of boredom. I believe I'll get jobs that never even bother to contact me. I legitimately walk out the door most days thinking I'll meet the love of my life. I can't even tell if it's a defense mechanism to hide my misery anymore. Am I fucked in the head?

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How can I get rid of someone from FB for good? This kid won't stop harassing me. I started ignoring him when he started sending me 200+ messages per day... but he kept messaging me... and by now I have blocked and reported 6 of his accounts. Is there a more watertight method? This crazy fucking shitstain needs to leave my life permanently.

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This is in Uni (first year). She's pretty cute and seems like a nice person but I'm not sure how to start the conversation. We've obviously never talked to I don't know how to go on about this. Also I'm not the same race as she is. Not sure how much that matters though.

I'm basically retarded when it comes to things like this so that's why I'm asking here

I'd enjoy the help

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Hey my cousin is 19 and he doesnt know what the fuck he is doing.

When my brothers act all goofy he tries to look tough and adult and is like "your 18, you need to grow up and stop acting like a child yadad" and he has such an arrogant tone to top it. He dates and has broken up a while ago and is dating currently a chick he dated in the past, she broke up a while ago too with someone, so i guess some rebound relationship is happening also.

The thing is that his whole life he has always been in disarray, dramatic relationships, trying to find who he is, doing pop things and getting confirmation from peers. Deep down i think he knows he is directionless and everyday i and my brothers have to deal with this annoyance, like i think its as time has passed he has gotten more comfortable and is acting like he does in his house, a disrespectful arrogant little bitch.

TLDR - my cousin is an arrogant bitch and cant be honest with himself

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I recently hit 18 and I'm ~5'6''
I'm latino hence why I'm short but I recently learned that you can still grow till your 21.

I had given up on my chances to grow by 17 since I thought that was the ending age but now that I heard about this today, what are your tips to improve all my chances to grow more? Any no matter how silly I am willing to try.

My early teen years weren't really healthy since I was taking advance courses (which hurt my nutrition, exercise and sleep). But recently because of all my advanced studying of biology, chemistry, nutrition, anatomy and physiology I have drastically improved my lifestyle for the sake of being healthy without thinking about growth. I assume that if I combine my improved lifestyle with all the advice you guys give I can reach my goal before it's too late.

I literally just want to grow just 1 more inch to be happy for life.

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Okay, so I'm hosting a Halloween party with my friend on Friday. Over 50 people are attending.

Among them is my ex of four years..

Some backstory:
>Know girl since first grade
>Senior year of HS we start dating
>Continue dating for four years.
>break up in June 2016.
>Pretty mutual. We both admit we were growing into different people and things just weren't the same.
>A week later she texts me. I ask if she wants to meet up to talk, she says she's not ready yet.
>Don't talk for a few months
>She messages me happy birthday
>The next day I message her back saying it was good hearing from her, and ask if she wants to meet up.
>She says sure, invites me over to her house.
>Right before I leave she messages me saying she can't and she's not ready yet, still.
>I get frustrated, but play it cool and just say no worries I understand. If you want to catch up sometime let me know.
>Don't talk for another month, start missing her pretty bad.
>Guy comments on her instagram post
>Look at his profile
>they have a picture together, she commented on it "you're too fine" or something.
>I get pissed.
>Message gf that I cheated on her when we were dating

The truth is I did cheat, but I sugar coated it. I told her it was 2 months into our relationship, and that when we got serious I cut them out and was with her completely. The truth is I cheated 2 months into our relationship, and earlier this year.

>She flips out.
"Fuck you! I can't believe I wasted four years of my life on you! How could you? Who was it with?" etc.
>I don't tell her who it's with, tell her she has her new boyfriend and I just wanted to be honest with her.
>A few weeks later she dumps the guy she was seeing
>Constantly tweeting about me, both things like missing me, and things like me fucking her over and how Drake gets her.

Pt 2 below

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This summer I'm going on a road trip with my ex. >am man. My ex gf is now my ex bf. She wasted three years of my life because I made her happy at a time she was confused about her gender. She never talked about this to me at all. We were also engaged. She broke up with me recently, I believe in our relationship I spent around 10 thousand all together. I always paid for dates, etc... She clearly didn't think how it would make me feel. Like I got more attached to her, wasted money and time. So my plan is this summer, while driving through Kansas, I'm going to kick her out of my car in the middle of nowhere. Making sure there isn't a town for miles and no cell signal. I want revenge on this cunt for not thinking about what she has done to me. Any advice on anything else I should do and how I should do this >pic unrelated

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You know, everybody has me for this smart, sophisticated guy. Someone who knows a lot about different topics, speaks many languages, and such.
In all reality I don't care about any of that. All my life I've dreamed of having an MTV life. You know, lots of friends, parties, hot girls, drama, drinking, doing drugs, getting wasted with friends and go wet a tattoo of YOLO or some shit like that.
Sometimes I stay away at night for a while before sleeping thinking how my life would have been if I had that MTV lifestyle.

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We have been best friends for going on 7 years (met in highschool) and we both admitted to crushing on each other during the summer. I was happy to make her happy and take her out.

Our relationship got rough when she moved away to college and we went long distance. I had a lot of fun dating her and getting a lot of firsts out of the way (first date, first kiss, first hand-holding, she's my first girlfriend). I began to feel that our relationship was one-sided. I'm the one who always initiates conversations, makes date plans, and tries to take an interest and connect with her and she pretty much never reciprocates. The first and only time I made the commute to visit her at school the first thing she says to me is "Where are the video games?". Whenever I text she always gives one-word answers and the only thing she ever bothers to ask me is when I'm next available to help her babysit her nephews.

Other problems include a lack of privacy (she reports everything we do to her mother), and a lack of intimacy. I want to try and make deep emotional connections with her but she's only ever interested in talking about video games.

Every time I try to have a serious "us" conversation she shuts it down with "Everything is fine" and redirects the conversation back to video games.

I was about ready to break up with her but then she tells me that apparently she was hospitalised a day for suicidal thoughts. She seems content and happy with our relationship so I'm afraid if I do break it off it would hurt her enough to motivate an actual attempt on her life.

She has experience depression, anxiety, and asperger's syndrome for some time now. I thought this was something we could connect on (I have actually attempted suicide before) but she remains distant I try to be loving and encourage her to talk to me about anything but she keeps insisting she is fine

Regardless, I want out of this relationship 100% but I'm not sure how to do it without her actually attempting suicide.

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Hey /adv/

Been dating about a month. Girlfriend agrees with me on everything. She's kinky as fuck in bed, so awesome sex, she's not religious, and her political views line up with mine. On top of all of this, she listens to the same fucking music as me and she's at least an 8 to a 9 in my book. We haven't had an argument or a fight yet over anything, which is great!

There's one catch though: She's Vegan.

Everytime I mention eating it's becoming more and more of an ordeal. I'll say something like i'm having milk and cookies and she'll just become upset and say "I wish you cared about the animals more". Like, what the fuck?

I'm considering going vegetarian as a little thing I can do for her, but I'm not going vegan at least for a couple of years. Has anyone had any experience with this? Coming from someone who quite frankly eats cheeseburgers out of vending machines I don't really give a shit where my food comes from when I'm hungry. I made her promise that it won't destroy our relationship but I just can't help but feel guilty for causing her pain when I'm just doing something I need to stay alive. I'm so fucking lost.

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off

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This is my post about depression on reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/5968du/my_experiences_with_depression_and_a_teded_video/

I'm currently fighting depression. I've been thinking about contacting my ex and trying to talk to her about the things that happened between us. I think that it's a good idea, because she's the last person that has been able to make me feel.

There are these shivers I feel everytime I even think of messaging her. I've never gotten shivers like that.

It's strange because I've been ignorant of her existance for at least a year or two, but the same impulse hasn't been overwritten or forgotten. It's like there's something unconscious keeping it alive. And maybe getting close to the source would help me understand the cause and solve a part of my depression.

What do you think about this?

If you want more wallpapers, just ask. I have about 10.