My girlfriend and I have been living together since last summer.

>>17987508
I can't see how going from living together to living on your own might be a good thing, unless living together was terrible (but then you should honestly consider breaking up).

>>17987508
if it's what she wants to try, let her try. if it turns out to be a bad idea, then it was meant to end anyway. if it turns out to be a good idea, then it's good.

>>17987513
>>17987513
thats the thing is its been awesome. We both like most of the same stuff, or so I thought. Now shes saying her personality makes it impossible to live her "own life" around someone as influential as I am, even if she does enjoy those things.

Honestly im kind of a lazy shit compared to her. Like i dont mooch off her for money or anything (if anything she asks for fronts on rent from me pretty often) but my hobbies are all non creative and sedentary. You know, watching TV/movies, talking on 4chan/other forums, smoking weed, video games, etc while shes more artistic naturally but when shes with me she always sinks into my hobbies for example she'll come home from class and while she knows she should probably practice piano (shes a musician) or something she always ends up playing Borderlands or Overwatch with me, or staying up till 5am playing Stardew Valley by herself

Is it my responsibility to get her to engage in more healthy recreation, according to her? Should I feel bad about most of my hobbies being media consumption or posting on forums?

>>17987517
i dont know if I would even want to do that though. Right now im thinking if she is really serious and doesnt want to live with me for no good reason I wont feel comfortable saying im in a relationship with her. I care for her very much and always want to be supportive for her but i wont be her lap dog made outdoor dog, you know?

>>17987520
it's not your responsibility what she does, no, but you do have influence. your hobbies are your hobbies but she is clearly aware that they affect hers. i think it's fine if she wants to see if this would make it better for her, also missing someone is a good part in a relationship in my opinion, so moving out might help. if she feels like she wants to move out, that's a good enough reason, mate, there's two people in a relationship and she doesn't owe it to you. what she wants is as valid as what you want, and it's ultimately her decision regardless. you are going to go along with it anyway, so just let her figure it out. it might help or it might prove that it wasn't worth it anyway, as i said above, so what's the matter?

>>17987520
Maybe before taking drastic solutions like moving out you should try to work on a solution as a couple.
Why don't you give each other rules? Like, why don't you have 3 nights a week when, after dinner, you do your own stuff separately? Or why don't you take part in her hobbies?
In my opinion it would be a huge step back if you went from living together to living separately.
The relationship progresses in a certain way, going back breaks the equilibrium more often than not.

>>17987508
Fuck her. Break up with her before the lease is up. Save yourself. She doesn't want you or love you if she doesn't even want to live with you.

This has to be obvious.

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>>17987523
Its not a matter of what she owes me, she certainly doesnt have to be in a relationship with me and im not so young as to think it would be the end of the world, im just wondering if living apart from each other is something i should want in a relationship. Sounds like youre telling me more "yes" i appreciate your feedback anon thanks

>>17987529
Yeah i want to do that and suggest it but we've been going out for a hot minute now, we know how it works. Simply put we dont really know of any solutions.

Also our apt is less than 800 square feet so having space away from each other can be tough, but i feel like she uses this as an excuse. We have two bedrooms and a living room, one for an office/battlestation, one for sleeping, and living room has a nice tv and plex. I always offer to leave the office for the living room when she complains about not being able to practice while im playing pcgames but this never seems to be the intended solution...

>>17987560
Yeah i fucking hear you bud believe me. But my life was basically ruined within the last nine months, without going into too many details, and this is the first girlfriend ive really felt has been a meaningful connection, and I still think she's great. Only problem is she seems to not like me so much which messes with my head. But yes im certainly entertaining breaking up with her, but we get into spats like this monthly it seems and we can usually resolve it by changing perspectives a bit but this issue is a lot more lingering

>>17987508
>But is this really a thing?

yes it is because that is what she wants

but likely after she moves out she will slowly stop dating you because something between you 2 is not compatible and living together has shown it to her

OTOH she may decide she wants to move back in with you