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I'm quitting my job because of medical reasons. I just gave my 2 weeks notice on Monday but I had talked with my boss and such before regarding this. One of the reasons why I have to quit is the massive insomnia that I suffer from.
I've been up for 48 hours straight and I don't feel safe enough to drive to work, let alone be productive today. Is it a total dick move to call in sick when you've given a 2 weeks notice?
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/Adv/ please help me I don't know what to do.
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Yolo
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>>17991242
Anon what do you mean
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I have been suffering from cold, bacteria and other shit like 6 times a year.
I fucked up my immunity system to the point that I have to use antibiotics for about 4 times a year (alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, not enough sleep, garbage food, no sports at all, not even fucking walking).
What do I do. I had a shitty immune system all of my life but at the moment when I', 24 and should be at my prime health, I'm fucking suffering from sickness too much. All of my friends and doing the same shit as I am and they are fine.
What's the problem? What do I do?
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Excersize and stop taking drugs unless you absolutely need it. Also be aware of your habits.
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>>17991221
I'm trying to lower the amount of drugs, but sometimes it takes like a week or two to get better.
And with which excersize I should start with? Swimming? Cardio?
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Cigarettes do make you a lot more susceptible to lung infection. The smoke paralyzes and eventually wipes out microscopic hairs that brush away junk inside your lungs (they grow back though). I had a constant cough through the last months that only went away recently after I quit, so I guess it was getting pretty shitty in there. If you're feeling like you're having a cold that just doesn't go away, that might be part of the reason.
My advice is just try to quit smoking first. Maybe cut back on the booze as well, because personally I smoke twice as much when I'm getting drunk.
You should look at all those things you listed, because the immune system thrives in healthy habits. And cardio makes everything better, trust me.
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So I hooked up with this girl this weekend at a party and I sort of want to try to ask her out on a proper date. She's leaving next week on a trip so it sort of needs to be this weekend.
She does seem interested when we talk on Facebook etc., at least her replies aren't just one liners.
Should I just ask straight out if she wants to come over for dinner, should I casually lead the conversation into what she's doing this weekend or how should I approach it?
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>>17991129
"Do you have any plans on X?"
>her response
"Want to get together and Y?"
>her response.
Your thinking about it too much.
Just because you word it a special way isnt going to make her any more or less willing to go out with you.
Unless you just sperg out like a mongoloid.
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She also seemed interested enough that it wasn't just one sided at the party but that might just be the wine. Actually I think she scored me and not the other way around. Not sure if that makes any difference.
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>>17991131
Of course I'm going to sterg out, I'm posting here aren't I?
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Need some help on not being a pussy
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It's always worse in your head, if it's been tested or done it probably won't kill you, if someone is talking shit rehearse at home talking to even the odds of shit talking back, stand up for yourself but within reason.
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Get rid of what you think others think of you. I know it's easier said than done, but it's the ultimate solution for almost any personal issues.
I'm going through such a process myself atm and I know how hard it is.
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>>17991115
>>17991118
i've made things worse by waiting so long
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Need some advise...
Tonight im seeing my girlfriend for dinner at some Chinese restaurant, mainly to loosen the mood as its been a rough week and i have a few things id like to talk about but not sure how exactly how to word it...
Early this week, she found out her sister is pregnant. She went pretty much mental over it as the guy the sister is with has kids with another woman and he has neglected them and i guess my partner fears this may happen with the sister. Thing is, they dont get along. My gf found out about it from the parents and is mad at them for not telling her about it. Pretty much going to the point of disowning the family... Now here I am being a good partner and supporting her but i feel like my gf is really over reacted.
I go speak to the parents and ask them thier side of the story. Maybe try salvage everyones relationship so we all get along again. My partner finds out and gets even more mad literally yelling top of her lungs that its over and to get out. Btw, she got really physical too. Flailing at me. I just krpt pushing her back onto to bed but i thought alright, ill leave... Goes ahead and un relationship on fb. Its been 2 days now and i thought id send her a message telling how i still care and love her and decided to have dinner tonight.
I want to have a constructive conversation about what happen with out turning into another "domestic". Just dont know how.
Ive spoken to some of my mates bout it and they rekon im way to nice of a guy to let that happen as someone esle would have knocked the teeth out of her for that behaviour. I could never but i dont know...
The domestic doesn't really bother me at all, its the way she just reacted not even letting me tell her my intentions...
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>>17991089
Clever Girl is pretty good.
Anyway I think why she got so upset is because she feels like everyone is against her, and the fact that you went to talk to her parents without her permission tells her that you're gonna wind up undermining her and being against her too.
But your thread is a little confusing. Did you two agree to have dinner or what?
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You made a thread about this already. Get rid of her, she's a fucking psycho. I don't care that you've been together 4 years or whatever, a mentally stable person does not react this way.
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I just want to add that she doesnt have any friends irl but lots of guy friends on fb... Just dont get that she cant have a discussion with me, her boyfriend of 4 years about it but can have it witj a total stranger online...
Anonymous
should I go to college if I can't afford it? 2017-01-25 09:29:21 Post No.17991087
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should I go to college if I can't afford it? 2017-01-25 09:29:21 Post No.17991087
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should I go to college if I can't afford it?
Anonymous
2017-01-25 09:29:21
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In short, I cannot attend college without taking out massive amounts of loan debt because my family simply does not have the money to spend. Education is very important to me so I hope to continue it in some capacity but I am not sure a college degree is worth the price, unfortunately.
What are your thoughts?
Also, I'm American, if that even needed to be said.
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>>17991087
>should I go to college if I can't afford it?
Of course you fucking shouldn't. Get a job and get to a better financial position before you do. You don't even seem to know what you want to study, meaning it's even stupider for you to go.
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>>17991087
if you can't get a hold of scholarships and are dead set on college consider the military. it's 4 years of paid service then you get schooling for free. granted the pay isn't great but while active you don't pay rent and such so take that into account with the low pay grades.
If you don't want to do that consider just going to a trade school. education takes many forms.you can become a welder, electrician, or plumber in under two years and make good money. with the option to maybe get a degree later in life.
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>>17991096
Yeah, I know it seems like an obvious answer but I know so many people who seriously would not be able to afford a higher education if they had not taken out loans. However, I have even less money than they do.
>You don't even seem to know what you want to study
I don't know a single person who said they definitively knew what they wanted to study except one who wanted to go into business. That's what most 4-year-college students are like here in the US.
I suppose I would be fine just working to save up money but there certainly is a stigma.
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Every single time I text my gf or she calls and we talk and things don't go the way I intended or she isn't in the mood I expected her to be, I start freaking it without any apparent reason and feel like I fucked up somehow and start apologizing for being stupid.
Then she says it's okay but the voices in my head keep telling me she's lying so I keep making excuses for my "behaviour" which is just in my head and it feels horrible.
Then comes the time when I start regretting having been so fucking stupid instead of just having talked to her like a normal person and I get afraid she's not going to want to talk to me because this obviously distracts her from her studying, and she's in the middle of finals atm.
How can I stop this, please? Thanks in advance.
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Either sit down with your girlfriend and tell her all of this in person and make sure she understands or hand over large sums of money to a therapist.
There is nothing we can say to make you stop thinking those thoughts.
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>>17991079
I understand you're unable o stop them, but do you have any idea as to why they happen or how to avoid them? Have you had any similar experience in the past?
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Help!
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I was diagnosed with hypersomnia and the doctors said i have 15% chance on narcolepsi, so they want to do an epidural to measure my brain fluid or something like that.
The advice they gave me was try to sleep atleast 10 hours a night.
i have to get up at 05:30 so good luck with that i guess.
I fall asleep 2-3 times throughout the day but this is not the biggest problem for me.
The problem is i am impossible to wake.
I have 6 alarm clocks which i dont hear, i even tried a fire alarm and that didnt wake me either.
My parents pull me out of my bed by my ankles and i just continue sleeping on the floor without moving a muscle, they can grab me by my shoulders and shake me and they said it is like i am unconscious.
This is causing problems for my work and school life and it is driving me up and down the wall.
So adv, in short:
Is anyone familiar with being unable to wake up?
Or does anyone know solutions to this problem?
Sound does not work and neither does moving my body by a vibrating bed or anything like that.
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If your parents waking you up every day is an option then try smelling salts.
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>>17990984
Well i am living on my own since a month so that doesnt work anymore..
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>>17990994
What if you got a strong electric shock? That might wake you up.
See if you could buy/make a device that will zap you at a set time. Google says you can buy them but they are expensive as hell but I assume you could make one for cheap. Try asking /diy/ if they could help you out.
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Been dating this girl for a little over a month. We've only been out six times but we talk every day. As far as I know, we're exclusive. I really like her and I think she feels the same.
When does it become clear that we are in "a relationship"? I've never been in this situation before.
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>>17990929
When she comes hard while riding your cock.
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>>17990929
You have to make her yours. If it hasn't been explicitly stated, and she's remotely attractive she is actively pursuing other men. You have to take control of her
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>>17990936
Hmmm I'm not totally opposed to this but I need to be delicate in my phrasing. She told me she's never dated a total stranger before me and I think it would be easy to scare her off.
>>17990932
I think this would seal it as well. It's pretty difficult to get her to come to my place though. She's perfectly fine with letting me grope her in public though.
Anonymous
Slept With Friend's Sister 2017-01-25 08:07:17 Post No.17990918
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Slept With Friend's Sister 2017-01-25 08:07:17 Post No.17990918
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Slept With Friend's Sister
Anonymous
2017-01-25 08:07:17
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TL;DR: Slept with good friend's sister, haven't talked to him since and now is the time. What do I say?
During November last year, I had a fling with one of my best friend's sisters. She came onto me one night and I just went with it, this turned into a thing that lasted until mid December. We had sex once and messed around three or four times. Unfortunately, she pretty quickly (and unexpectedly, due to the amount and variety of previous relations she's had) caught feelings and refused to take no for an answer once my sanity caught up with me. As a result, when I finally cut things with no minced words, she got pretty upset and her brother found out as they live together and he was very pissed about the whole thing.
Fast forward to now, I haven't talked to him since then out of shame/guilt, however there's a large friend get together tomorrow and I figure now is the time to at least figure out where he's standing before the event. How on earth do I open that conversation though? I have no idea how to approach him about it, even via text. As an added layer of "oh fuck I messed up", she's 17 and I'm 22 which is clearly pretty bad. I made a concession due to how experienced (much more than I am) she is though, that's hardly a point I can bring up to the brother however.
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Ask him where things stand between you two.
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You rejected teenage pussy, ya dumbfuck.
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>>17990918
At least you didn't sleep with gf's sister
holyshit that left a literal scar on me
Anonymous
Girl wants to open up to me: update 2017-01-25 08:04:34 Post No.17990913
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Girl wants to open up to me: update 2017-01-25 08:04:34 Post No.17990913
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Girl wants to open up to me: update
Anonymous
2017-01-25 08:04:34
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So for those who saw my previous thread, she came over today. And pretty much went like I expected it to go.
We just made some small talk, I got her a beer and I myself finished off some of the vodka I had lying around. She never explicitly mentioned the thing she wanted to open up to me about, however we did eventually go into the discussion of relationships. I guess this is the most telling part of where we stand. We pretty much discussed how we view relationships and what we want from them. I mentioned our whole history and how I had basically stopped talking to her when she rejected me. She didnt want to look me in the eye when I brought it up, but eventually got her to accept that its a part of our past and that we were being mature about it.
I basically laid it out like this: I admit that I had feelings for her before, and when we saw each other again, they came back. I felt things were different, she was pretty clear that things were the same.I told her that my decision to stop talking to her when she first rejected me was a mistake. She disagreed and thought with the way I dealt with it was best for both of us.. She didnt blame me for it, she had a similar thing happen and she preferred the way I handled it.
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Anyways this led into a discussion about how we treat people we're interested in and how she feels too comfortable sometimes with opening up to guys, leading them to think there might be a connection when she's really treating them only as a friend. I tried to get her to tell me how she treated guys she was interested in compared to how she treated me but she wouldnt get too specific, we didnt have enough time to talk when we got to that point when my friend picked us up to go downtown. I felt the discussion went well, but not in the direction I wanted. I told her specifically that no matter how I felt, it was important that she was a friend I could talk to at anytime. As well as that she wasnt interested she was basically obligated to introduce me to her friends, she laughed at that. I mentioned that things change between people, I didnt want to force anything but I told her I cant really change the way I feel, but I thought it was important I didnt force something that wasnt there. I was surprised she agreed with me. She doesnt feel the way I do, or did, but she wasnt willing to outright reject me. I basically said from here we are friends, and if things change, they will, and if not, thats fine. She said she feels the same, that she doesnt see me that way now, but she recognizes im attractive and if things change, she'd tell me, and vice versa, I was ok with that.
I know how that sounds, but I really feel that way. In the meantime I made the decision to move on and not really focus on her as a romantic interest. My feelings are my feelings, but Ive made peace with them and Im glad we both have a better picture of where we stand.
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The rest of the night we hung out at a local bar doing trivia with a group of mutual friends. It was a good time, me and two other friends chilled at my place, riding out the drunkenness and listening to music. Its not the outcome I wanted, but it was expected. Even though we sort of cleared the air, I'm not totally convinced she sees me as only a friend, the way she looked at me and how she sought me out throughout the night wasnt necessarily friendly, but I'm not expecting anything, I'm going with my gut and simple moving on, keeping her their as a friend and nothing more. I admit I'm a bit disappointed, how could I not be? But I'm not going to repeat my mistake and shut her out of my life, I'll simply reap the benefits of our relationship and since weve become comfortable with talking about how we feel about one another, she'll tell me if she starts feeling any different.
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>>17990913
You seem to be laboring under the misapprehension that anyone cares.
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So I was ghosted a year ago by oneitis. I've had feelings of numbness, guilt, etc.
I consider myself to be selfish on the inside. I have always had a hard time with empathy. So normally I would just care about the other person obsessing over me, and if they leave, then fuck them.
But for some reason, I feel this new feeling for him. Of course I wish more than anything that he regrets it. But I also feel this thing that I genuinely want him to be happy.
Sometimes I feel the desire to just see what he is doing and if he is content.
I faked caring about him at first to make him like me, but it's not until now I realize how much we have in common and how special he really was. And if I could go back I would have been more genuine.
I have a new bf, and I don't feel quite that way with him. I love him, but I could care less if his feelings get hurt by anyone.
I just find it hard to believe that someone as self centered as me could consider someone else's well being so much. Especially someone who hurt me so much. Is it fake? What does this all mean?
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It means you need to get laid.
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>>17990870
What you're feeling is affection. The thing which you have used to manipulate men toward their own misery. That feeling you have for him now, caring for his well being, attraction, wanting to be honest and good to him, these are all symptoms of love.
It's just too bad you don't deserve him for a single fucking second. He probably ghosted you because of what a piece of shit you are, and he figured you out.
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>>17990881
You are right.
I hate myself so much. So so much and I cannot live with it.
So my dad just threw broken glass at my mom, I don't know what to do. They've hated each other since I can remember, but this hasn't happened before. What should I do?
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You can't fix your parents, no kid can.
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>>17990863
call the cops?
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>>17990863
Call the police, seriously.
My parents also hate each other and spent my entire childhood yelling at each other but they NEVER got physical
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My gf and I have been together for a year. We're kinda opposites; I'm an introvert, she's an extrovert. She's anxious but fiery and passionate, I'm chill but I avoid conflict. Etc. It causes conflict sometimes, some bad. We've been to the brink at least once.
I love her (she's an amazing friend and usually lover), but she has this perpetual worry I'm going to leave her whenever we fight because of some baggage and I'm not good at handling it. This time she said it and I realized she has no trust that I won't, even through our troubles. I'm also realizing I need free time to decompress and I don't feel enough of it with her. This makes me feel like I should probably leave her and not drag it out, but her dad is on the verge of what seems like it's going to be a cancer diagnosis. I'm questioning how bad my convictions are to leave her when she might need help the most. That and I feel like she's right in assessing that I don't communicate a lot of stuff I probably should with her because I don't want to bother her, so I still wonder if I can improve. (I think we're both a little immature, I know.)
What would you do, /adv/?
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>>17990837
>I think I should leave her
>But I pity her and stay
Don't do this, you're prolonging the both of your own hurt that will be associated to this likely breakup and it will only be worse.
You both realize that in order for the relationship to work, you need to change. If you're considering leaving then you've already taken the first step toward giving up
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>>17990889
I'd done it before (without the pity) and it lead to a fruitful relationship for a while, but you're probably right...
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Either break up straight away or if you want this person in your life, open up and TALK to her, say to her what you said here.
Women, when faced with a problem they want to talk about it with friends/loved ones, they gather opinions from others then makes their decision on what to do.
Men on the other hand subconsciously want to be alone so that they can calm down and figure out a solution to the problem.
This is the reason why most relationships don't work out, people fail to see the differences in our genders and as it gets continually more taboo to talk about genders and such things, no wonder birth rates are declining, the divorce rate increases, people have trouble talking to the opposite sex, etc. Women nest, men hunt.
Talk to her, ask her if there's something that bothers her, then don't just listen to the answer, try to read her, give her a hug, if you actually want this to work out you can.
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I feel like most people at work, uni and my family think very little of me.
I'm the entire pack: socially anxious, shy, introvert. I've been to therapy before, but I'm always told that there's nothing seriously wrong with me and that instead of seeking medicine or treatment I should just "reach out" and overcome my fears. After 26 years this still hasn't happened, and I'm living in the most pathetic way possible.
At work and uni, people often ignore me instead of saying hi. People talk about me like I'm not there. There's always a tone of sarcasm when they address me. I'm pushed around often. I'm treated like second-class citizen. Even among the friends I make in these places, there's always mockery of me. They make plans in front of me without inviting me. Recently, one of them started a mock-fight with me as we were walking, knocked me on the ground in public and they just walked away laughing.
It even happens with stranges. I tend to get shit service from people. When I'm trying to walk past someone, they never ever move the fuck out of the way. I know it may seem like I'm exaggerating but trust me, I'm a very lucid guy as far as these things go, and I hang out with "regular" people so I can see how differently they're treated.
And I'm 100% sure that this is all the outcome of my general lack of balls and my social ineptitude. When people push me around, they know there will be no reaction from me, and frankly I don't know how to react. On paper it's easy to say "stand up for yourself", but the shy skinny kid who always seems like he lives in the fetal position can't just turn the game around whenever he wants. It's not like there's a beta/alpha switch I can turn on or off anytime.
So idk, what the fuck do I do? I'm thinking about gym/martial arts, to get big and maybe give me some confidence in my own hability to defend myself, but I need a broader approach. I need to evolve past this fucking stage of my life, mentally and spiritually as well.
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>>17990831
Start doing something that will give you confidence.
Start confronting people about not saying hi, although make sure its not just you they ignore. Like 'Is there a reason you ignored me in the hall'
Try the fake it you make it.
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Hey man just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I too am very much like you. Never really got invited to much while in school. If something was happening I was the last to know, if I found out at all.
The best advice I can give is to make more of an effort. I'm not saying that to be cruel. People like us are so often fogtten that it just feels useless to even try, but trust me it's not.
Find the friends that listen, care, and are kind. Cut everyone else out, you only have a finite amout of time on this Earth, best to spend it with genuine friends.
Then start finding things to do, go to a bar, play magic, DND, go on hikes just do what makes you both happy. And invite them to go. Soon they'll start inviting you to go do things too.
May I also suggest taking vitamin D, exercising, and drinking alkaline water to help with any anxiety or depression you might feel. That's what works best for me :)
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>>17990831
I relate to this post as far as being treated like dirt. However where we differ is that you're a pussy OP, if somebody knocked me to the ground I'd probably be confrontational. My advice to you is to start lifting and get confident, however I don't know what advice I can give you in regards to shaking off that 'pathetic guy' perception people have of you as I share that with you