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I don't know how men work.
I just got out of a very toxic relationship and I'm going back into the world of dating. After my relationship, I've had a lot of mental issues saint dudes. I always assume there is a motive or that I'm being lied to/played.

I've started hanging out more with I've of my male friends and I'm scared he isn't interested in being a friend.

We went out last night and ended back at his place, cuddling each other and falling asleep. No kissing or anything sexual, just cuddling.
What does that even mean, to a guy?
48 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>18231276
Cuddling is pretty romantic. If you fall asleep in a man's arms and aren't interested in him, go tell him you aren't, or else he'll probably assume you are romantically interested in him.
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>>18231284
I thought so too and I can't stop thinking about it, but he hasn't really said or done anything else romantic so I'm not sure if I'm just reading into it too much or if I do need to be careful
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>>18231288
Do you want to keep cuddling with him or not?

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What are your guys opinions on anti-depressants / mood stabilizers for treating depression and ?suicidal outbursts? (i dont know how to phrase it, but for example cutting or other form of self harm)

What are your experiences? It doesnt have to be you, but if its someone else you must know them quite well for a good amount of time

Do you feel like it is the best route for treatment?
22 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>18230834

Prozac works well although it can dampen your libido a bit on higher doses and make you slightly more tired sometimes. Substitute some Wellbutrin and you should be good to go.

Medication helps so, so much.
>>
I used citralopram for a while.. crappy thing about anti-depressants... can't get super drunk on them because it could put you into a coma and they suck to get off of. Worked well for me (I used for anxiety but secretly had some depression) citralopram has the least amount of side effects out of most of the anti-depressants.
>>
Didn't work for me so that's what makes me think I shouldn't have taken them. They made me placid and probably altered my ability to feel emotions in general.

When your brain is already so compromised naturally that you DO need this medication, it's a godsend. But the pharmaceutical industry is fucked up and people get prescribed them at the drop of a hat, because most people don't really notice that they don't give a shit about anything.

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Am I sexist or prude for thinking that the degeneracy of young women nowadays is very disconcerting?

Almost all the girls I know have a second Instagram profile plastered with countless selfies and near-nude body shots of themselves. It seems like the culture of sex has really changed with social media and now it feels like every girl has to prove she's sexy and has a nice body.

It just really rubs me the wrong way. I feel like girls nowadays lack so much self-respect and very few of them are actually worth pursuing a relationship with.

It just all feels kind of vapid and depressing. It's been feeding my misanthropy and made me realize just how shallow, insecure, and even mentally unstable most young people are today.
174 posts and 38 images submitted.
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>>18228983
Not a prude. We have gone too far in the sexual freedom direction. Sex culture has become a beast that can no longer be tamed. Living in Los Angeles and being a bit of a man whore myself I will tell you I see it everywhere. Every girl posts nudes on their private Instagram. They all obsess over likes and Snapchat views which they learned early can easily be obtained by showing more and more skin. All girls have stories about random hookups and tinder guys. Drunk threesomes when they were 15, orgies at birthday parties, girls that have fucked over 100 guys by 17. We are living in Sodom. There are good girls out there but god damn are they hard to find. I would say don't give up hope and keep looking for her but god damn is it hard to resist all this free pussy

>shallow, insecure, and even mentally unstable most young people are today.

Young people have always been this way but the culture has changed allowing them to be lured into sexual degeneracy as a form of coping. Never has it been so easy to hook up with multiple people as right now.
>>
Well, if you think about it there's no actual reason for girls to suppress their sexuality aside from cultural standards. Nowadays female sexuality has been liberated and men are basically useless as women are able to live by themselves and get a man whenever they want without having the hassle of entering a relationship and actually caring for someone other than themselves. Even if a relationship would bring them happiness they just can't be arsed to see through the effort, it's just easier to be chased by a dozen men and have your emotional needs fulfilled by a rotating roster.
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its always been like this, or at least wanted to be like this, we just now have the tools to make it possible.

keep in mind that this isn't a degeneracy of young women, its a degeneracy of both genders.

its kinda like the pedophile argument. if there werent people consuming child porn, there'd be no reason for people to make it.

girls are only reacting to what is being dangled in front of them, and men as well. its a symbiotic relationship.

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We were out on Friday night and some guy was getting in our faces, kept following after us and shittalking. At one point he laid a hand on my girlfriend (as in grabbed her arm) and I just gutpunched him and left him to lie down on the ground. I didn't stomp his face in, I didn't kick him in the balls or anything like that.

Girlfriend was silent for the rest of the night, more reserved than usual, but I figured she was upset by that guy, so I figured I'd just be there for her and give whatever support I can. She never really had anything of the sort happen to her before.

Sent a message yesterday asking when she was coming over for Easter family lunch. No reply for hours (very unlikely of her). Was getting worried, so I called her, she answered, but was really fucking weird. She was talking like she wasn't really listening. Again, not like her at all. So I ask what's going on, did something happen, did the shit from Friday come across her again and give her any problems.

No, as it turns out I was the problem. Seeing me just attack the guy without warning and leave him lying down in the dirt had upset her. Apparently, she never thought I was violent. Which is really fucking weird, because I'm not. The situation just called for that kind of response. I guess she couldn't tell with how the guy behaved, but his body language was pretty much him just amping up to hit someone - me or my girlfriend - and I just didn't want to wait for that shit. Preemptive strike. Whatever.

So now I'm here with my folks at home for Easter and yeah, it's good, but an hour ago she dropped me a message about wanting to talk and we did, and she brings up "Maybe we should just get some space from each other, give us breathing room" and I can't understand anything. Breathing room for fucking what? It's not like I tortured the guy.

I guess I'm here to ask if you folks think what I did was over the top. Does it really warrant taking any sort of break?
105 posts and 11 images submitted.
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who fucking knows mate

you did the exact right thing and shes absolutely mental for reacting like this
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>>18228250
This. Also take into consideration that she might like that guy, maybe even know him. That explains a lot
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>>18228250
>>18228246

most girls would usually be all over you for doing since you were being provoked

I had to do a shit ton of home work over spring and since I'm a fucking idiot/lazy cunt I didn't do shit it's now 10:44pm and I got school tomorrow what the fuck should I do.
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Don't go to school
Say you're sick
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>>18234683
>>18234683
>prioritize
Any classes you're weak or have a low grade in? Do the homework for them. If you can't concentrate on em, just focus on at least doing the stupid and quick assignments.

And of course you could pull an all-nighter. I also fucked up and have a ton of work to do. If you promise to pull an all-nighter, than I'll pull one, too. It's like a blood pact.
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Drop out of your classes. Try again next year.

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So /adv/, I'm at a juncture in my life where I'll be moving on from college into a life of adulthood and independence, and my girlfriend of 4 years has just started to talk to me about marriage and babies more frequently.

We've talked about these subjects before occasionally, but the amount of times its been brought up has been exponentially increasing each week since my final semester has begun.

A big reason why is because I've been talking to my gf about moving in with me at my buddy's house after graduation. Currently we both live with our parents, and I thought it'd be time to try out living together now that I'll be able to work full time and able to live independently... but her mother and sister do not think so. They've been telling her that I should be marrying her before we do this. Her mother is Christian and her sister is Jewish, she's confused on the matter of religion, but is fairly spiritual and superstitious, not surprising coming from a family of mexican culture.

She obviously feels a strong pressure from them to seek marriage with me before anything else happens. I somewhat understand their side of the argument, but I am just too uncertain on whether or not it would last or be worth it. I'm just happy being in our current status right now, I think that there's no reason to get married for quite a while longer. I feel like I could see her as a wife and mother one day, but I can't be for sure.. I am more preoccupied with starting my career.

Perhaps a bigger reason why is that she's depressed and has told me about wishing to commit suicide a few times over the years. She's not usually like that, but when she gets in ruts, it happens... I can't trust problem solving like that. I've told her this and she got quiet and began crying. We are usually a fairly lively couple, we have fun together and reasonably comfortable, but there's not that much excitement, especially with our sex life.

I'm very stuck right now. Any advice?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Also, the last time we talked about it she said maybe we should "take a break". And joked about dating other people.

I took it kind of seriously... it seemed as though if I don't marry her soon, perhaps within the year, she will break up with me and date others. Were both 26, I get she's trying to hitch before she hits the wall, but this desperateness is not helping. Should I just end it? She could use some time alone to help fix her depression, but her family sucks. The source of it stems from her childhood when she and her sister was molested by her mother's ex ex husband. Her mother knows, but denies it to both her and her sister, when they obviously should be confronting it and defeating it.... So I don't know how well she'd heal without me... Im very sad over this.
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Shit, I think I'm going to break up with her... I'm just now realizing this after writing this out... Holy fuck.
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>>18234689
Now this is a sticky situation OP. Easily one of the better adv posts. Ur in a reeeeal pickle OP. Its pretty obvious your about to start a very exciting part of your life with a newfound independce and a decent source of income. From what I can read your simply not rdy for marriage but do want to eventually tie the knot with a great gal. From my experience getting married out of an obligation, be it kids or some sort of desparate attachment,(in this case depression and rapid loss of fertility) is a bad idea and both parties will end up regretting it.

If your not rdy then well, ur not rdy. She sounds like she has her own issues she needs to work, especially if she intends on being a mother. In her current state do u genuinely believe she would be an ideal mother to your children?

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B& from /lit/ for off-topic posting
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I always find horror stories easy to write (not well admittedly). I grew up reading a lot of them so it's somewhat easy for me.
Write something you know about or are interested in, it's that simple.
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>>18234644
stephen king says the trick is to write every day even if its trash. so do that first. come back in 2 years.
>>
Write something intended for kids or teens. Basically YA fiction or fantasy. But are you really into writing? Writing is fucking difficult, especially if you want to do so for money.

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How do I actually go out and go to bars and clubs and stuff?

It sounds silly but I don't know where to start.

And wouldn't it look ridiculous to go to a bar alone? I really want to meet new women but idk what to do.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18234554
U got any mates u can hit the bar with. Also ur just gumna meet tinder tier sloots at places like that anyway. I mean if ur just lookin for some ficki ficki set up a decent tinder profile and bust a nut
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>>18234554
What do you wanna go to a bar for? To meet bar sluts? Are you really sure that's the kind of person you want to meet?

I just think people who are into that kind of things wouldn't have to ask this question
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>>18234558
Lol banter would be entertaining with this man.

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How do i give up on women?
I honestly can't keep it up, it has been way too many rejections, i never got anything from women
>kissless
>virgin(If being "raped" by a 10 years older dude doesn't count)
>only held hands once because she thought i was rich


I'm autistic, i got diagnosed with asperger, plus i have sunburnt skin, plus my type of skin is kinda hated on this part of the country(people have a varying level of racism) i'm ugly and not really tall, 5'10". I'm just a student, i can't pay for dates and lots of things, and the sad thing i see that is not important for many people, they still have gf even though many are in a worse off situation.
Well the thing is, no matter what i do i'm a complete failure at this game, i'm never good enough.
I just want to give up on women, to not feel anything.
Please help me prevent these dumb feeling that later on cause nothing but pain to me
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>18234517
Well man, to each their own, but after multiple times thinking "this is it, I'm done with women" I've decided that it's frustration talking above all else, which appears to be the case for you too. In fact I used to make threads just like this, and after having done some soul-searching I feel like I made them with some hope that anons would talk me out of it by inspiring me to go back out there and try. I wonder if that's the case for you?

If you're like most guys, like most people even, you'll have that drive to get laid and experience intimacy, emotional bonds etc. No man is really an island. Plenty of autistic/Asperger's dudes get girlfriends even if it's harder, just like short guys get girlfriends even if it's harder. You're listing out all your faults, but trust me on this: I work in a retail store, I see hundreds if not thousands of people every day. And I see all types of guys with girlfriends and wives. So all these reasons you have for not getting laid or whatever, I won't dismissively say you're making excuses, but they don't have to stop you.

I am coming to the realization that most people don't want to date perfect people. That doesn't mean they don't want to date at their level or that soft "leagues" don't exist. It just means that emotional connections are one of the most important things. So what you do is find out what you're good at, improve at what you want to, and then just get out and meet women.
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>only held hands once because she thought i was rich

Well at least your better than me.
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>>18234540
>>18234517
You need to work on your confidence above all else though. That lack of self esteem is what's telling you you're not good enough and giving you a billion reasons why. You even said you see guys who are worse off with girlfriends, so you can at least logically acknowledge the flaws in your thinking and self-doubting, which is a start. Now the next step IMO would be talking to women, getting numbers/dates/sex/whatever. It sounds counter-intuitive perhaps, but my theory is that if you have enough positive re-enforcement to look back upon, it'll boost your confidence. i.e. just getting a kiss or makeout would make you realize you have it in you to inspire desire in women, and you'd feel far less that you're "not good enough".

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How to deal with burnout?

I've been living on 4.5 hours of sleep and homework in all my free time this past year, took too many classes. I'm about to graduate hs but I feel it catching up on me.
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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you can trudge through the rest
or call it quits now

your call
it reflects on how you view yourself
so contemplate that
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>>18234504
I was also thinking more towards the future

I'm probably gonna make it, but I don't want to have to go through the hell I've went through this year. It's kinda been a sleep-deprived, depressed fog
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>>18234513
so resolve to never put yourself in a situation like that again
get it done with and don't treat yourself poorly like that in the future
you'll break down for sure if you don't make amends

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So I was stupid and I trusted someone. I sold them Bitcoin on localbitcoins, and they sent me stolen money via an email money transfer from a hacked bank account because bank's suck with security because rather than try to teach grandma how to use two factor authentication, they let you set up your online banking with a password like...fucking PASSWORD or something. AUGH! I even asked for ID and dude sent me a picture of him holding a passport.

*sigh*

Anyhow, bank is investigating and I'm locked out of Canada's email money transfer system indefinitely while investigation goes on. Sent police chat logs, pictures I was sent, gave them transfer transaction numbers etc etc. No response, but no email bounceback.

Bank tells me that their investigation will take up to 6 months. It was hell just getting them to unlock my account so I could pay bills...one of which bounced because it was set up for auto withdrawal the same day my account was locked. No notification of that by the way. No phone call or whatever. Nope. Just had to "discover" that little treat on my own.

So now, bank genuinely doesn't know if I'm a fraudster who was in on the stolen money thing, and the investigation for some reason will take forever. Police likely have resources to assign a detective to my case within the year or something. Not trying to get on their case, but they're basically useless.

From where I stand, the facts are all collected. I have pictures, chat logs, and localbitcoins had records that law enforcement can query. This should all be put together to paint a picture of what's happened somehow, but from what I can see, nothing's moving so I don't know if that effort is even taking place.

I'm not even primarily concerned with the $1,700 right now. I really just wanna be put back into a place where I'm not suspected of stealing something. That feels especially wrong considering I was stolen from.

What do I do?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Have you contacted a lawyer?

Better call Saul
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>>18234488
Did u use any of the stolen wired money
>>
>title involves police and bank
>Bitcoin
Stopped reading there.
You better pack your shit, now.

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I've tried okcupid, and found myself to have a very low rate of success with anyone on it. I find myself unable to get intrest in these people. I feel like it might be a symptom of my location (portland) as I dont have much better luck irl. Is there any better options or are they all pretty much the same?
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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pls respond
>>
>30 yr anon who remembers like 5M get

Online dating is a waste of time. You're going to have to get out there in the real world and get your ass handed to you a couple of times until you build up some thicker skin.

The girls I've slept with, I met at mutual interest groups. Granted, they had their issues and became ex's but online dating is not for the average guy.
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>>18234528
Fuck. Ever since I moved here I've had issues with people, its something about how they act around here that gets on my nerves, its a brand of pretentiousness which really grinds my gears to ash.

Good to know either way, but I feel like I'm not gonna have any luck with this. Everyone I met online pretty much came off as total scum.

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So I've been flirting/hooking up with this girl for a couple of weeks but she's made it clear she doesn't want a relationship atm just a casual thing. I'm okay with that but she knows I'm a virginfag and I think she's doesn't want to fuck because she thinks I'll get too attached. How do I convince her that I won't get attached if we fuck
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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uhh
you can say that

what does 'hooking up' mean if you don't fuck
and do you not want a relationship? or do you just want fukk
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>>18234384
he wants his virgin aura to decrease obviously
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>>18234413
virgin aura

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I dropped out of university 8 months ago after attending for 3 years. It's been a while since I've talked to anyone so I'm not really looking for advice. I kind of just want to unclutter my mind while killing a bit of loneliness.

I'm a 21 y/o Asian male. I have low self-esteem/self-worth/self-loathing that reaches bizarro reverse narcissistic levels.

The last time I communicated with anyone was asking for advice on here 8 months ago. I was mainly told two things:
1. Nobody cares and that I should just drop out and kill myself for sounding like a self-important asshole.
2. If I can't see a future for myself then it won't matter what I do or what anyone else says.

I took both things to heart, but have yet to convince myself that I have the ability to do anything.
8 months isn't a long time, and I'm still young. I can still chalk this up as a mini vacation from life.
Soul-searching hasn't worked out though and time keeps on ticking. I don't have any goals or desires.
Me staying alive costs me. My meals cost my mother an hour of her life to work for and that really bothers me.

The only thing keeping me alive right now is the need to erase the guilt I feel for having money spent to keep me alive for 21 years.
It's getting to the point that I'm wondering if I can whore myself out. It'd be easier if I was a women, but I'm sure there is a market out there for young asians right?
I'm not gay, but the pressure to be independent is getting to me. I'm dumb, dependent, and have mental/family issues. If I was female then I'd have all the stereotypical qualities needed to be a prostitute.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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You know there are jobs other than whore, right?
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>>18234296
The world is filled with fucked up shit. Everyone has some sort of problems, even if they don't say it to others. What you take for granted, others try to obtain.
Look at your options. You can work at some job you can find and start to work out to distract yourself. Meet new people out there. Believe you can change and take that RISK. Try something you never thought you would have done and taste something new.
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Dude, go back and finish your last year. Why did you drop out in the first place?

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I've been enjoying my classes this semester, but I'm starting to think one of my professors want me to earn some "extra credit".

I'm 27 and she's ~35. Over the course of this semester we've gotten along well, nothing really unusual until recently. I'm pretty engaged in class discussions, and I like to make people laugh, so lectures can sometimes turn into conversations between the professor and I.

Before spring break, she started chatting me up after class, just about the material, though. Exchanged some e-mails for homework, but nothing further.

After class today she stopped me in the hall to talk to be about the syllabus, seemingly out of the blue. She mentioned how it's great that I'm so confident and willing to talk in class (most others don't say much), and that her cell # is on the syllabus if I need to discuss anything even if it's not about the class.

I didn't think much of it, at first, but why would I need to discuss anything? I'm doing well in the class and I'm not struggling with the material. It seemed like she just wanted me to call her.

Am I reading too much into this?
fwiw she's a chubby sjw type, even has "problem glasses" and hair is dyed red. Not super hot but not hideous.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Yes she is givibg you cues. But i would not bang her.

If however you do make aure its outside of school.

And better yet wait until youre no longer in her class.
But youve got a dick and we both know you already want to so gl.
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>>18234280
Ass right there freezehole. Nobody move, nobody get took. If 2 consenting adults can't have no strings sex then who can haha
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>>18234285
>we both know you already want to
That's why I'm worried I'm just overthinking it. I want to fuck her because she's my professor and it's wrong. Now I suddenly might have the chance and it's getting me worked up about it.

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