Fought someone, girlfriend now talking about a break/break-up

who fucking knows mate

you did the exact right thing and shes absolutely mental for reacting like this

>>18228250
This. Also take into consideration that she might like that guy, maybe even know him. That explains a lot

>>18228250
>>18228246

most girls would usually be all over you for doing since you were being provoked

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>>18228246
HAHAHA OP

You are fucking stupid.

The "some guy" was most probably having an affair with your girl and he got jealous. You fucking cuck.

>>18228246
your gf is fucking crazy. the guy kept on and you shut him down finally when he grabbed her. If he was a stranger I really don't understand but if she knows the guy I know why she's angry with you.

>>18228250
>>18228251
>>18228252

Okay, so yeah, I didn't overreact. I mean, my friends were saying the same, but I figured getting some outside opinions couldn't hurt.

>>18228264

Nah, she didn't know the guy. Complete unknown to both of us, just some barfly.

>>18228272
How old are you two? How old would you estimate the guy was?

Also, give a 1-10 grade for you three's appearances?

>>18228286

24 myself, she's 26.

>How old would you estimate the guy was?

Our age? Maybe a bit older?

>Also, give a 1-10 grade for you three's appearances?

What the fuck does this have to do with anything?

>>18228291
OP, it's possible that the guy has been seeing your gf and confronted you two in his drunk state, right? I just can't see a woman picking a stranger's side, who attacked first.

>>18228298

She's not. I mean, she's not saying the guy was just harmless or anything like that. Just that my reaction was over the top, like I could have just pushed him. She never was in any sort of violent situation in her whole life, so maybe she's seeing this all naively?

Can't say I'd like the other option, what you're saying, to be true.

I think you did the right thing op. He got physical first, and you met it with a response.

Ask your -if she still is- gf about why she came to this conclusion. If she will give you a shitty explanation and doesnt understand herself she would have been a shit long term partner, and you should be glad that you discovered it this early in.

Was she abused in the past? Maybe it triggered something in her? Don't see any other logical reason...

>>18228304
I don't buy it, man...

Listen. If she really was so shocked by the violence, she would like to talk about it. She'd make the first move in talking about this behavior. She's hiding something. And how many guys in bars will act like that guy? Drunk guys will obviously hit on even taken girls, but it will be like catcalling and offering drinks and touching ass. Now, whose hand will you grab? Someone you know! And he's around your age. Also, "taking time off of a relationship" is a symptom of cheating. I'm not sure, which option would be better for you, OP. I guess her being absolutely against violence, because ideals can change and you can learn to live with some issues like that. OP, fucking think.

>>18228246
Some might call rape to be deserved by provocatively dressed people
The truth is you need to stand up for yourself no matter how you're dressed.
Your gf is weak and immature as she didn't try to deal with the situation but maybe you should have talked to her before acting like this : you can't punch someone except if he punched you before.

>>18228307

Nope. Normal family.

>>18228325

Well, shit. This sure as fuck didn't brighten up my day.

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>>18228333
I'm so sorry, OP. But in any case, she's "taking a break", which in 99% of cases means a break up. So just begin adjusting to you being single. You'll find someone better, I'm sure. A gut punch would make a lot of ladies wet. All the best. Here's a lady for you. To lighten up your life...

>>18228246
She wants to fuck other guys and doesnt see herself with you anymore. She wants to whore out. Get a new chick by tonight son and she'll regret ever bringing up the notion of "space".

>>18228441

Nah, I'm not like that. I don't like rushing into shit. I guess I'll just call her up tomorrow and clear this up once and for all: either she talks with me or we break up, for good. None of this break bullshit.

>The situation just called for that kind of response. I guess she couldn't tell with how the guy behaved, but his body language was pretty much him just amping up to hit someone - me or my girlfriend - and I just didn't want to wait for that shit. Preemptive strike. Whatever.
Did you say that to her, dude?

>>18228451

Yes.

Wow end it she is a stupid bitch, I'd be grateful if you defended me.

>>18228246
Maybe she has some abuse trauma and got scared of your sudden violence?

I had an abusing father and l almost shit my pants when my Bf grabbed my neck during sexy time.

>>18228246

Well OP, firstly, you're in the right here. No warrant for taking a break or nothing - she's just being overly dramatic. That doesn't however, mean that she'll get over it. This is a real issue - she's SCARED of you now. Scared of what you can do when something causes you to crack or go over the top, scared of what people will do to you afterwards, and scared of what you might do to her one day if that happens.

My advice would be to bite the red pill and lay it out for her: You're not a violent person, but if the situation calls for it, then you will be violent as you won't be taking that kinda shit from anyone, ESPECIALLY if they lay a hand on her. She needs to know that you're there to protect her, not to incite violence.

>>18228453
Then I don't know what's up with her. Jesus, who the fuck breaks up with somebody because they defended them? Talk to her tomorrow, and reiterate that you're in no way a violent person, it's just that you could tell that situation was about to turn violent anyway. Personally I like the wording of "regrettable, but necessary." As in: "Listen, what I did was regrettable ..."

And yeah, obviously stick to your guns about not taking a break - "I don't want to take a break at all, but if we do, we're not getting back together. A break is a breakup to me."

None of this is particularly useful advice, I know, sounds like you're handling things about as well as you could be already, but sometimes it can help to have other people back up what you were already planning to do.

>>18228325
>"taking time off of a relationship" is a symptom of cheating
yep. this is way overreacting to what you did

However, keep in mind women have guys hit on them all the time and get grabby and they sometimes welcome the advances. This was the first time you were around and it didn't go down as it normally does. Had you not been there she'd be working on the third drink he bought her with his hand between her legs.

>>18228462

Why the hell would she be scared of me or for me?

>You're not a violent person, but if the situation calls for it

Yeah, I used more or less these words. It's not like I pick a fight with people, but I'm not going to back down or turn my back on someone who's clearly got it in for me.

>>18228463

She didn't break up, she just wants a break, but given that I don't believe in the break bullshit, I can't help but see this as the way to an inevitable break up.

>>18228470
>Why the hell would she be scared of me or for me?
Come on, man. Because any kind of violence can be very upsetting for people who really aren't used to it. It's not that big of a mystery.

I believe you that the other guy was seconds away from hitting one of you, but that's not what happened. Your girlfriend saw YOU throw the punch, saw YOU behave violently (suddenly and explosively), and now she probably can't stop seeing it in her head.

I know it was the right thing to do, I know she's in the wrong, I'm not defending her, I'm explaining how and why she's probably feeling.

She was either seeing the guy on the side or had some past shit happen and got triggered by it

Either way you need to find a side chick tonight and bang her till she can't walk anymore

>>18228304
Explain to her that if you just push the guy, either it's a little push and he probably backs off for a second and keeps bothering you or it begins a shoving match that turns into a full on fight or getting thrown out of where you were at or arrested. 99% shove doesn't solve the problem.

Okay, the people saying "she was seeing the guy on the side" are so fucking full of shit.

I mean, yes, it's theoretically possible, but nothing, and I mean nothing, about the situation suggests that.

>>18228534

It's the usual "she's cheating on you bro, every girl's a slut bro" kind of advice that is given by people who have never actually been in a relationship before, or are themselves cheating assholes who end up being part of the cycle of the behavior. Or are just using it as troll bait to get people's goats.

>>18228470

Because we as humans aren't wired by logic, we respond more to fear, desire, emotion. What she saw shocked her and estranged you. She barely knows who you are anymore.

I recently had a similar issue with my 2 best friends who were dating (bad idea I know, I warned them). He had a bad LSD trip and she couldn't see him the same way again. It was a very traumatic experience for all of us since we thought he was going to die.

>>18228304
If you push someone in a conflict you're the one getting hit in the face. A gut punch is pretty much safe. It hurts but you're going to get up in 2-3 minutes again. No danger of knocking a tooth or an eye out or knocking him out and making his head hit the pavement. You couldn't talk to the guy, he got physical and wouldn't stop.

i had a friend who broke up with her boyfriend after she just saw him do something violent. he never hit her or threatened her, but seeing him be violent scared her enough that she didn't want to see him again. she kept thinking 'he is capable of that, what if i'm next?' basically, she began to see him as a threat. some women like a bit of danger in their men, but other women like them to be more non-threatening and it can be a shock when a man you think is safe turns out to have the capacity for violence, even if its not directed at you.

tl;dr, she's not cheating on you, she's afraid of you

>>18228568

No way around that? Or working with showing her she shouldn't be afraid?

did you ask her how she saw the situation? perhaps she didn't even notice the guy was following you?
perhaps she read some shit about how 'violent men become more and more violent', or whatever?

>>18228568
Nah

OP's girl is cheating on him as we speak...

Not all women are sluts, make no mistake. But a "break" instead of a break up means only one thing; She's having someone on the side and keeps our poor OP here as a backup plan.

Nothing wrong with using violence in dangerous situations like in the original post. Women who can't see the difference are worthless anyways, so it doesn't matter if OP's girl is cheating or not.

>>18228580
all you can really do is sit her down and promise her that you will never ever hurt her. if you guys have a good amount of trust then she might decide to stay with you but i'd be delicate around her for a while, be careful with where you go and don't allow for situations like with the barfly. you basically need to remind her that you're a guard dog, not a wolf

>>18228593
or maybe since she's scared of him, she's asking for a break instead of a break up because that seems less final and less likely to piss op off? fuckin makes sense from her perspective, if you think your boyfriend is violent you want to get away from him without enraging him. i swear you guys have no clue how women think.

>>18228601
If you wanna know what women think, just use Occam's razor. The simplest explanation is the answer. And that is cheating.

>>18228634
the fact that you think the only reason a woman may no longer want one dick is because she's already getting a different dick shows just how little you know. cheating is not always the simplest answer, it's honestly really complicated to pull off, simple shock and fear at a violent event makes much more sense.

>>18228645
Hmm, maybe you're right. I'm not gonna argue that, because we know so little.

>>18228246
Imo she knows she's 'wanted' so time for a break. Sorry that happened you did the right thing though any normal girl would appreciate your efforts. Don't let her push the blame onto you.

Honestly, since she grew up in a normal family, this may have been her first encounter with violence IRL. For people who grew up around it, it's a fact of life. Like how if you grow up on a farm you can slaughter an animal that you've known for years and eat it for dinner. A 9-5 person probably couldn't do that. She is probably in shock, and a little freaked out because she didn't know you had that inside of you.

Asking for space is pretty weird though, I'd try to get as much info out of her as possible, but jumping to conclusions, like she is, does no good.

>>18228645
Boys on /adv/ tend to project their cuck fantasies into these situations.

>>18228568
So she's afraid of OP and wants a break but you can bet she'll have no problem going back to a bar with the real possibility some guy will get mouthy and grabby? Doesn't make sense. Now if she said I'm never going back to that bar worried it's not safe and said she wants some time to process what OP did it would it would. Instead its all OP.

>>18228246

My advice is: she wants space, give her that. Dont call dont chase. She will come back or she wont its.

Whever she does just be content that you did the right thing there in that back alley.

>>18228304
Woman's perspective. She was into it, now she doesn't know how to deal with her own reaction to it. We're told our whole lives that hitting is never the answer and not to be with violent men but biology made her love what you did.

So now she needs to resolve her own moral conflict about it.

Think, if she was mad at you for hitting someone, she would just have said; "hitting is wrong. How could you do that. Don't ever hit someone again. I can't be with you"

Shes CONFLICTED. So be gentle and supportive and let her know that you know hitting is never the solution but you only did it when he threatened HER.

>>18228902
>gentle and supportive
why can't women ever be wrong?

You did nothing wrong mate, in fact you even got a bonus as you now know that she isnt worth your time so you did not waste any more. Dump her pathetic ass and get a girl that's actually worth your time.

Frankly OP, she'd probably been looking for an excuse to dump you for a while.

>>18228992
>>18229080
these

>>18228902
probably smartest post in the thread

I would not want to be with a girl that squeamish. I control myself well in confrontations, but if you put your hands on me you'd better fucking kill me, nigger.

I would not trust my children with a woman who is not willing to defend herself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrcEZZjN0QU

Spoilers: Summer wasn't ever serious about him.

>>18229663
I'm somewhat certain that's the same bar as in New Girl, also with Zoey Deschanel

both dudes have weak game btw

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>>18228246

>>18228246
>Preemptive strike
It's still you who went on the offensive and not him, no matter how certain you are that he would have. You're still the aggressor. I personally think you did the right thing, but she might be against ever being the aggressor out of principle. Still, breaking up over it seems a bit over the top

If a guy laid a hand on me, and my boyfriend punched him, I'd feel weird about it. I don't like violent, aggressive men, and the fact that he didn't take the high ground and simply hit him like that and THEN didn't see if the guy was okay would be a major drawback for me.

I'd be weird too. I don't like that kind of behaviour. Plus, I'd feel like he was trying to be a 'hero' or whatever when I'm perfectly capable of kneeing the guy in the balls if I'm uncomfortable-but then I've never liked people fighting my battles for me.

>>18230371
>I don't like violent, aggressive men,


so if a random guy bent you over and had his dick in your ass YOU WOULD NOT WANT YOUR BOYFRIEND TO RESCUE YOU AND GET VIOLENT TO SAVE YOU?


Suck a dick bitch

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>>18228246
Hahaha what the fuck. You did the right thing man. She sounds super sensitive and not in a cute way. You'll be better off with someone else. You weren't even aggressive. What you did was a reasonable response to what he was doing.

You overreacted, but sometimes people overreact. Her wanting to take a "break" over this shit is childish. Your girlfriend sounds like a gigantic drama baby who needs to grow up and learn how to deal with the people in her life.

>>18228634
The simplest explanation is that she doesn't like that he punched the guy. You're really shit at logic.

>>18230352
>grabbes your gf arm out of nowhere
>not worthy of a punch in the guts
I hate the cuck meme but you are literally the manifestation of it

Gj, I'd want to do the same. Though I'd probably won't because I'm pussy.

>>18231819

He said that OP was the aggressor (which he was, technically speaking), not that the guy didn't deserve the punch in the guts. What part of "I think you did the right thing" exactly didn't you understand?

>>18228246
>grabbed her arm
>gutpunched him and left him to lie down on the ground
Balance and all. Now obviously it's hard to tell how hard he grabbed her and whether you interpreted the body language right or not but simply on the info given, it seems way over the top. My mate got KO. by robbers and even they had the decency to call the ambulance (from his phone that they stole)

If she never experienced you doing something like that and never was in a similar situation it's given that she's upset.

>Does it really warrant taking any sort of break?
Definitely.

>>18228246
Cannot win. Had OP done nothing the gf would lose respect and think him a pussy.

>>18232055
It's not "do nothing" vs "leave a guy knocked out". The response needs to fit to the action, just like you don't shot someone for looking shady or break their arm for touching you.

>>18232065
He punched him in the gut not in the head.

>>18228246
drop her. Sounds like some nuwave feminist anyway. Have you had thoughts she was a far left fuckwit before? Have you just been lying to yourself?

>>18232082
So what? A good punch to the gut can still be pretty fucking dangerous. This isn't the movies.

just let her get raped next time

>>18228246
She's just afraid of """violence""". She's a fag bro. Imagine it was you who got harmed or something and you had to rely on her to defend you. You'd be fucked.
Maybe tell her this so she can empathise (switching places). She'll probably say she wouldn't "attack him" or something like that, though.

>>18228246
That's a super clean gut punch if he went down immediately bro. Prob even more impressive if you both had some beers. Count your blessings it didn't become a brawl.

>>18229486
Kek, saved

>>18228246
He put a hand on your girlfriend and you gut punched him. I would have done the same thing. Based on your story I think you were trying to defend her from potentially being hurt. If you talk to her again I would just explain it to her.

Mmh she might be confused, it doesn't happen everyday that you see someone get punched. When my husband first punched a guy I was also a bit shocked, but I could understand his anger and I justify it. It takes a while to adjust to the situation, just calmly explain to her you didn't mean any harm and just wanted to protect. I don't think this should be a matter to break up over.

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>>18231819
The other guy already wrote my answer for me, so I'll just post a smug anime girl

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>>18232204
>She's a fag bro
She's not manly enough to be his girlfriend

>>18228327
What kind of dumbshit response is that?

>You should take a hit first before striking back

No.

>>18228327
>hey stop fondling my girl
>don't punch me for disrespecting her i haven't punched you ;)
>shiiiit, sorry babe

>>18228568
Almost all men have a capacity for violence.

>>18232400
Legally it's true, technically, you want to be the first who strikes

>>18232087
Did kung fu for 5 years, currently doing muay thai for 2. Gut punches are pretty safe. You can recover from it fast (few minutes) A tko through a hit in the gut is painful but the thing is you don't fall over like with a ko through a hit in the head.

>>18230371
You don't have to be the violent type to hit a guy who harasses you and your girlfriend. The thing is not that you wouldn't be able to do anything, but that you boyfriend is better physically capable of doing so.
I don't know if women feel the same way about this, but if a guy harasses me I feel seriously violated if I don't stand up for myself.

>>18230371
As another anon said, you don't have to be violent to defend yourself or others from unknown strangers being touchy, being so black and white about situations like that is silly. Could you seriously see yourself standing there and letting someone you like and care about be harassed by some drunk and choose to not step in? There's being the better person and then there's complacent stupidity.

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Welp, that's that.

Tried to give her space, figured I could be supportive like >>18228902 said, but she called me earlier today and ended it. What hurt though wasn't just that it ended, but how she ended it. She had her brother in the next room, like I was going to go on a rampage and she was afraid of me. What the hell is wrong with her? We've been together for more than a year. I was literally never violent towards anyone, but apparently what I did was too much for her. For what little shit it's worth, her brother told me on the way out that he understands why I did what I did, but his sister just can't process that. Told me she would probably contact me in a few days to talk/reconcile once she realizes what she did, but fuck it, I'm done, I want nothing more to do with her. A year of my life gone, and she ends it over something as pathetic as this? Being this fickle and fragile, how the fuck could I count on her to stand by me if we ever had some tough times ahead of us? I don't know, it's probably for the better that it ended, long-term wise, but it still fucking hurts.

>>18232877
Thats the spirit brah. Like /biz/ says, its better to fail early than to fail late. You'll get your shit straight.

>>18228304
pushing is a way to escalate a situation, ending it in one hit and walking away is the opposite. ur gf is thinking too hard about this, there's probably something else

>>18232877
Can't be helped man. Better to end it now than to have the situation happen again and hold back because you didn't want to damage her fee-fees and then have one or both of you get hurt as a result.

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Fuck your gf
>some guy was getting in our faces
End of story, derailing thread, read this

https://medium.com/@PhilipVogel/ucsc-girls-college-boys-are-creepy-arrogant-and-suck-in-bed-1e3329ccbd93

Dude I would have been all over you for it (in a good way). I say this as a girl. It feels nice to be protected, especially when just one punch is enough.

>>18232877
She will regret it when she goes out to party and actually gets assaulted. Not that I wish it on her, but as a girl whose been robbed at their home and at work (I used to live in a bad area), her reaction comes from a dangerous naivety from never being in a bad situation.

Years down the road no doubt she will be exposed to one session of violence, either by observation or victim. Then she will remember you, and how dumb she was.

>>18228246
She's a moron. Tell her to read The Prince.

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Kind of messed up that you just snapped and committed violence infront of a girl like that. What did you expect was going to happen? Give you a blowjob for being an ape? Next time simply tell her to continue walking and hold the drunk guy off (stall).

>>18229080
was just going to post this

>>18232877
Just remember to never respond to her ever again.

>>18228246
That's weird, normally women love being protected, maybe she's mad you broke her potential rapist.

>>18232877
So she calls you to break up and then gets her brother to come with you to your place to end it? So she wants to give you a face to face but is scared to be alone with you? How bad is your temper OP? Do you get angry, yell, shout, hit walls, or anything? Seems like your old girl is scared shitless of you. Regardless, learn, improve, and keep going. And for whatever little shit this is worth, I think you handled the situation well.

>>18233404
This!

I wish my boyfriend was violent towards this asshole who groped my ass once. He's a non-violent type, so no violence. Instead he blamed me for being too intoxicated. Your girl is fucking lucky to have you looking out for her.

Dump the bitch. You deserve better.

>>18228261
Why must /adv/ be littered with this garbage?

>>18230697
So bending someone over and assfucking them is the same as was OP described?

>>18233486

> How bad is your temper OP?

Not bad at all. Never really lost my temper.

>Do you get angry, yell, shout, hit walls, or anything?

Sure I get angry and yell and shout, almost everyone does, but domestic violence, or just violent in general? No, never.