I don't know how men work. I just got out of a very toxic

>>18231276
Cuddling is pretty romantic. If you fall asleep in a man's arms and aren't interested in him, go tell him you aren't, or else he'll probably assume you are romantically interested in him.

>>18231284
I thought so too and I can't stop thinking about it, but he hasn't really said or done anything else romantic so I'm not sure if I'm just reading into it too much or if I do need to be careful

>>18231288
Do you want to keep cuddling with him or not?

>>18231288
Has he talked to you? Have you gone out? It's almost always best to communicate instead of risking him thinking you lead him on when he could be pursuing a relationship. If it's fine and he isn't interested, no harm done. If he is, problem solved.

>>18231295
Yes, but I don't want him to think we're going to be anything past friends or friends with benefits.

I really am not in a place to have a boyfriend again.

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>>18231276
Well cuddling is a big deal really. Just hanging out with him is a big deal. Dude is probably shy and waiting on your side to reply because it's pretty clear he wants to give you the D.

But if he's that much of a pussy where he can't even tell you how he feels and has the guts to give you the D that night, do you really want that kind of a gutless guy? I mean shouldn't you two have gotten frisky that one night?

Some guys are shy, some guys are too much of a beta to even tell you exactly what they want. Try to get a dude that's manly enough to express what's in his mind without fear of criticism because that's what men do. Are you sure you didn't cuddle a female friend?

>>18231296
We went out to a show together recently, but it wasn't a date. His friend bailed out on him and asked me to replace the spot.

He hasn't mentioned any of the cuddling

>>18231297
>I don't want him to think we're going to be anything past friends or friends with benefits.

Well that certainly is interesting. Maybe you should tell him that next time you see him.

>>18231300
You sound like you have no idea what you're saying

>>18231302
>his friend bailed on him
That's a common excuse to make asking a girl to a concert/play/whatever seem more casual. He definitely is going for a relationship. You need to talk to him. Communication is key!

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>>18231303

Don't string the poor guy on like this guy is pointing out.

Be honest about how you feel too. You cuddled him. That should show where your feelings are at. You wouldn't have done that if you didn't want things to progress with the guy. Make sure you know what you're doing and tell him because you'd be both wasting your time.

>>18231308
Usually I would agree, but I know the friend who bailed and can confirm that she bailed on him

>>18231309
>Don't string the poor guy on like this guy is pointing out.

How is telling her to tell him how she really feels stringing him on? Are you okay?

>>18231308
>>18231303
Yeah, this. No harm, no foul, so long as you're upfront about your intentions.

He might be disappointed, or he might not - depends on how much he likes you. In general, "I'm not ready for a relationship, but ... we could, you know, be FWBs" would not be taken as an unwelcome thing by 90% of guys.

>>18231315
It was a little confusingly written but I think he was agreeing with that post.

Like, "I agree with the post I'm quoting that you should communicate clearly and not string him along."

>>18231317
>I'm not ready for a relationship, but ... we could, you know, be FWBs" would not be taken as an unwelcome thing by 90% of guys.

You think very low of most men.

>>18231323
Oh, right, I forgot, I'm on 4chan, where casual sex is degenerate and there's no such thing as an emotionally healthy, mutually satisfying FWB-style relationship.

My mistake!

>>18231327
There is no such thing as an emotionally healthy, mutually satisfying FWB-style relationship.

OP here, just curious but am I maybe looking too far into it?

I have never been in a healthy relationship and I don't know what decent men act like

>>18231327
>and there's no such thing as an emotionally healthy, mutually satisfying FWB-style relationship.

And the difference would be what exactly?

>>18231322
Yes forgive me for English is not my primary language of learning.

If OP feels she is friendzoning the guy, she should leave it at that. Tell him that and quit stringing him along. Otherwise OP should keep hanging out with him and see how it goes? They already cuddled so she might be a bit confused about her true feelings even though she said she wasn't ready to jump into a relationship right away?

>>18231276
The same shit I ask myself every time when it is about women.

Thoughts like:
What the hell do people want?
Why are people looking down when I go my way?
Why so unfriendly?
Why not first try to warm up to each other and see where it goes?
Why not say what you are thinking and speak out what you want?
Why do people feel weirded out if I just say what I think and state my emotions and intentions behind my thoughts instead of hiding it from them?
Why is it so wrong to lay down my card, only to get them ripped apart again and again?
Oh, and there are more where it came from.

What I think and feel is, for both parties is, that of it will happen is make all people bitter and jaded and close off their heart's door.
I guess this is what most of the time people secretly want while crying where all the good humans went.

This is also why I rather play videogames and don't make many new aquaintances, it is just so frustrating.

>>18231356
Yes you're probably overthinking it.

Dude, just figure out what you want and then tell him that.

If you're not sure what you want, I recommend staying away from anything romantic or sexual for a while while you heal from your last relationship and figure it out. In that case what you tell him is, "I know I've been sending you mixed signals and I'm sorry. I recently got out of a pretty bad relationship and I don't think I'm ready for a new one right now. I'd still love to keep hanging out with you, if you want to, though."

>>18231276
Cuddling is sexual

>>18231288
Hes probably afraid to make a move my buddies going through the same shit with a girl. He says that if he tries to bang her she might go around calling him a creep.

>>18231430
>>18232510
These replies are confusing to me

One sounds like an weeb giving advice and the other is so grammar fucked, I can't take it seriously

If a guy chooses to spend time with you and he isn't gay he wants:

a) To fuck you
or
b) To fuck you and is romantically interested

Any guy telling you he's not interested in fucking you is dishonest and trying to play around the fact that you aren't 100% interested in getting smashed.

If he's romantically interested it's because:

a) He doesn't wanna share you
b) Wants to keep the sex flow steady
c) Genuinely likes you as a life partner

If you're an emotional mess and seem slightly unstable (I don't know you so I can't judge) you can scratch the c) option.

Hope this clarifies things!

>>18231276
No pressure to perform, just the comfort of animal proximity.

>>18232859
I hear really conflicting statements regarding this. It answers half of my question, but I'm still confused about the whole cuddling thing.
I don't think someone had ever held me so tightly in my life, but he also just likes having girls around so I'm not sure if he thinks romantically or if he's just having fun

>>18232913
This seems the most rational

>>18233053
Do you want him?

>>18231303
>dont want to be anything more that fwb
>guy now expects fwb
Nice try anon

>>18233058
>>18233058
I do but I also know it's not healthy for me right now.

Also, I literally have no concept of a normal relationship. I was pretty heavily abused

>>18233170
You sound absolutely delicious!!! Delectable! Why do you devalue yourself in this way? We are all learning for God's sake. There's no one person who can claim the high ground in any relationship, and you should give yourself more credit than you are. You know what you want, you're a caring person, you really should open yourself up to him and let him decide if you're too fucked up, because chances are, your level of fucked up ness is probably about closer to normal than you think.

>>18233170
Oh my god who cares

fucking chicks my dude

please read some philosophy, think about yourself introspectively, watch some good movies like Youth, Somewhere, and Swiss Army Man.

You need to fucking define yourself and who you are. Who are you? What are your wants and needs? What are your aspirations? What do you bring to the table in a relationship? What are your personal strengths and weaknesses? Where can you improve?

And quit social media.

>>18231384
>Why are people looking down when I go my way?
Consider other people's perspective. If you're just walking past, what reason do they have to be concerned about you?
Start rationalizing interactions by not considering yourself. You will come to understand and connect with people

>>18233190
Lol woah, chill out I'm confident in every other aspect of my life and I have hobbies. I'm not active in social media, I have a job and friends.

I just understand that I'm not good at understanding men and romance

>>18233189
Do you want to eat me?

I appreciate the input, though. I just don't know what is the difference between being friends, close friends, and lovers. I don't know where to draw the line or the boundaries

>>18231384
You need to read Hemingway immediately amigo.

And go to the gym and stop being such a pussy.

>>18233225
Oh yeah, so then answer my questions.

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>>18233225
I definitely want to eat you covered in Michigan maple syrup.

I don't know if you're at the point where you can really see yourself as an individual, your partner as an individual, and the relationship as a third entity with its own set of rules. Trying to define close friendship or lovers or whatever beforehand is futile because there are certain things we can accept and even enjoy about a relationship when we're not tied down with preconceit.

>>18233190
>Who are you?
That's an awful question and doesn't have a single answer.

>What are your wants?
Relationship wise, it would be a best friend I want to bang. I want someone I can do life with and enjoy my hobbies with. Someone who will challenge me and someone who will enjoy the same from me. Someone who is responsible and decently stable. And kinky.

>What are your aspirations?
I want to live a comfortable live and continue to grow in my field. I want to have a solid relationships with friends and family, have enough money to enjoy my hobbies, and have my own house. Ideally, own a few and rent out the rest.

>What do you bring to the table?
I'm not a bad person. I'm logical in most other aspects of my life, I'm loyal, a hard worker who makes decent money and knows how to save it. I keep up my appearance and have hobbies I enjoy regularly that I can share. I enjoy making people happy and being able to share life experiences. I'm also kinky as hell when I'm actually in a comfortable relationship, so he won't get bored easily.

>Strengths and weaknesses
I listed a lot above, but the big ones are that I'm loyal, positive, extremely hard working, good at saving, independent enough that I can take care of myself entirely, intelligent, decent looking, and I can cook!

Weaknesses? I deal with anxiety on a regular basis. I've gone through years of therapy and I'm medicated, so I'm decently stable and I'm good at coping, but I have my down time. I can be very self conscious in relationships and I've got a lot of baggage from my past ones.

>Improvement?
My self esteem in relationships and coping with my past

>>18231276
>What does that even mean, to a guy?

Unless he was drunk or else one of a rare sort of guy, probably means he's got a sexual affection for you.

I say this as a guy who has had female friends

As a guy who's best friend is female

Who has been FWB's with his best friend for a little bit (mostly because both drunk, honey, and single, and one night we just figured why not) 'til we found other people, and then just went back to being platonic friends and never thought about it.

Who has slept and cuddled with other female friends who I have NOT slept with--but only when we were both drunk, and when they were feeling extra shitty, probably because they'd just spent the last hour puking in to a toilet while I held their hair.

Why dont you just text him that u wan sum fuk? Im not a fan of FWB relationships because from what ive seen too often does one side develope romantic feelings for the other. Also imo from what u wrote(him being a cuddler and not initiating sex in that situation) he sounds like someone inclined to develope feelings in a fwb situation. But hey, u know him better than us. Communicate with him ur down to fuck but are not pursuing a relationship or keep stringing him along like a real cunt would. Up to u senpai

I dated a girl like you OP.
Try not to break his heart

>>18233861
>He was drunk

We were both drunk, I had a hangover bad, you sound exactly like my friend

>>18234030
I'm not dating him, dude

OP, I'm going through the same thing and bumping this thread

I had the same thing happen. I'm single, out of a shit relationship, got drunk and ended up spooning with a dude

He was really sweet and took good care of me. He even put a blanket between us when he got boners so that I wouldn't feel weird

>>18232859
There are girls I want to spend time with and have no desire to have sex with in any life-time.

Stop painting all men with a huge stroke

I just wanna be held. So tired of all the bullshit. Been alone for 4 years now. Why are we humans so cruel to one another..