Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1269. page

>>18482890
You don't.

>>18482894

I can't make friends, or at the very least it's really difficult to. Not sure I have any other option senpai

>>18482902
There really isn't any other option with the death of the outsider and the commodification of everything i.e. hipsters have taken over all the niche things that is usually reserved for loners/losers.

>>18482886
used to be worried about the same thing like you, then i realized i am what i worried from.

there are people who i've known for over 2yrs that i've never initiated anything first. it's just that i heavily dislike texting and if i do it it looks a lot like shitposting and that's insulting to the person especially when i can get better convos face to face that are actually meaningful.

>>18482886
you would not BELIEVE how common this shit is, you probably do it to some people too

>>18482886
Good points, anons. Thanks.

It's as simple as doing something you care about. Create a S.M.A.R.T. goal where you accomplish something you're genuinely interested in.

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/smart-goals.htm

>>18482899
i have no hobbies or interests. And i dont know how to learn to find them.

>>18482880
I decided to do things I think would be "cool". It keeps me busy sometimes, while at other times, the existential dread sets in and makes me unable to get out of bed.

>>18482796
may sound stupid but I've started using some lofi hip-hop radios on youtube and found gr8 success at concentrating. but that is for studying.
As for paying attention, I've found the solution to that one a long time ago, just repeat every single word you hear in your head.
Maybe these only work for me, but you might as well try them amirite

>>18482843
i'll try the repeating thing but i can't really study/work with music, i get too into it.

>>18482858
oh, if you genuenly enjoy it then it won't, me being a metal-head it's like a sound that doesn't disturb me and makes me forget about the outside world. maybe you can find a music that makes you feel the same, but yeah, kinda hard to study for the likes of us

>>18482794
Same here except I'm 28. How close to death are you? I mean how old are you?

>>18482800
Im 21 and wondering if it's too late.

>>18482794
living the american dre- I mean reality baby

i'd go after B. easier to setup dates, unless you're really fine with a long-distance relationship. they're really hard.

>>18482753
take your time with B. girl A sounds kind of toxic honestly. but don't do the same thing you did with girl a and drag it on for 11 months, that ruins a relationship

>>18482773
Well the idea is that she (Girl A) will be moving in with me in the near future. Like within the next month or two. She wants to get out of her house due to not getting along with her parents (yes I know what that implies, and no I 100% guarantee you it doesn't apply in this situation).

A is basically DTF allready, B might be but I get the feeling they'd rather go at a semi-normal pace despite how obvious it is to me they're trying to bag me and how open they've been about their sex life.

>>18482819
>don't do the same thing you did with girl a and drag it on for 11 months
Its a long story, dont feel like going indepth. basically there was like a four-ish month pause shortly after I met her that we didn't talk which I'm counting. only recently did we move into a point one would consider a relationship. We're not dating, although we freely talk to each other like we are on occasion. Given the circumstances I dont see any issue with timing and they haven't said or implied anything in that line of thought either. Even if 11 moths was too long there's nothing either of us could have done to make it shorter given our positions in life.

I really do like A, a lot. I dont want to be a dick and just go "lol, nevermind" after talking to her for a few months like this. Its just that I kinda came to terms with the idea that she might be fucking someone else before realizing I'm likely very wrong. and shortly after that seemingly pointless coming to terms that I had, I met B.

>>18482732

Have a wank, sleep for a while, and move on with your life.

1. You trim out the "ifunny" watermark.
2. Learn from your mistakes so you won't get FZ'd again
3. kys
4. idk

>>18482732
Jerk off, then get on tinder.

Idk how old you are ,but I used to do the same thing, except I'd describe it a little different.
I used to think lowly of myself and as myself as a bad influence. In reality I should have taken my chances instead of back off. Influence goes both ways in a relationship.

>>18482720
Find your life goals and act like it.

Sounds like you are 20 something chad with a little narcissism. Just keep fucking them and enjoy?

Hopefuly with time you realize how empy your life is and decide to keep one girl and make her happy.

>>18482720
>I wanna focus on myself.
I hear this so much nowadays, like engaging in relationships with other people somehow detracts from working on yourself. Being together with others is -part- of developing yourself. Others can learn you things, not always overt knowledge but also just a different perspective on life, a different way of handling issues. With each person you have a different dynamic and each of those versions they bring out is a version of your "self" or at least one you have potential to grow into.

Your current self is in a huge part shaped by the influence of your parents, friends and so on. It's not like you can suddenly decide that that's your real authentic self and investing in other people is done at your expense. Being human is continuing to change and grow and you do so through interacting with not just yourself but the outside world. And you learn the most and have the deepest experiences when you are with people who touch you more than most do.

As for why you don't want a relationship, whatever. Can be fear of real intimacy, can be just not being in that stage of life yet, plenty more options. That's not the important part. If you don't want it, don't do it. But the idea that you only develop yourself by withdrawing from others or whatever is bullshit. Dedicated to someone outside of yourself or something bigger than yourself can forge huge growth.

>>18482593
Stop thinking about others and do what YOU want or need. It is YOU who should say when it is the right time.

>>18482593
> So three girlfriends in a row have cheated on me
Reflect on this sentence. Why did this happen?

>>18482617
You mean besides the fact we live in a society that celebrates sexual liberation for women, but condemns sexual liberation for men?

Dude let her be herself. If anything you should be happy.

>>18482620
this

OP is a fag
if you want a tasteless slut there are plenty out there for you, beak up more modest and classy women for me

It's just not her style and she isn't into being shown off. Some women are, just like you love to make other men jealous whereas plenty of men would be long glad to not have their partner attract any attention from anyone else.

Don't force her. You presumably knew what she was like when you got together with her. Enjoy the awesome sex and keep this fantasy for a future partner.

Yup, it happened to me too, just give it a few months and you'll be fine.

Absolutely a thing.

Yeah its called being sick with jealousy. You still have feelings for your ex on some level and it sucks to see them treating someone else special when it used to be only for you.

It happens. Focus on yourself and dont stress it, only time will fix it.

>>18482522
If you have to ask, you'll never accomplish it.

Shame has to do with ego, with feeling like you come across in a way that damages other people's view or you, or does not line up with how you view yourself. In order to not feel shame you have to care less about yourself.

>>18482522
Stop giving a fuck what other people think of you.

>>18482508
>I can handle 3.9 cans a day

They're about 140mg - 160mg caffeine each, depending on the flavour.

You're only supposed to have 400mg caffeine a day.

So no, you can't handle 3.9 cans - or at least even if you think you can, it's not doing you any fucking good.

Enjoy your heart attack.

>>18482508
I dont know but better do something because you can literally die...

Switch to coffee and gradually lower the amount you consume.

Classic OCD. These rituals give him peace of mind. Symmetry.

>>18482502
But why does he only care about right side?

Not sure if I mentioned in op but he doesn't care about a left touch, only right needs to be fixed

>>18482509
I don't have an answer for you but read up on OCD in general. It is typical that people start with simple stuff and then they grow used to it and need another fix. For example, at first washing their hands after touching something "dirty" is fine. Then they need to wash twice. Ultimately they need to wash every five minutes with antibacterial soap and still don't feel clean. (Not everyone gets this bad, just to illustrate.) It's like a mental trick to feel calm that stops working when it becomes the new normal.

Lots of people have a favorite side of their body or just prefer left vs right. I think your brother just picked it up that way (or the very first time he felt the urge something happened to touch his right side and it stuck) but in time it will probably pass on to either the other side of his body or just branching out in other ways.

pick a programming language and start with youtube videos.
for math, look for a college curse. they usually recommend books or state the exact requirements which you can google

File: .jpg (55KB, 736x559px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 736x559px

https://www.khanacademy.org/

https://www.w3schools.com/

I grew up in the 80s and am out of touch and grouchy... but I'm also a computational physicist (math+programming) and teach at uni.. so maybe what I say will be or help maybe not.

Math: Use textbooks
In my experience, it's very hard to learn the mathematical fundamentals and mental framework/viewpoint (i.e. ontological) from websites and students who try have lots of issues until they give up and use books. I think there are a number of reasons for this... without going into it too much i think it's: It's too easy to search for specific topics and skip around between different sources.. students can't help googling and getting to an answer. You cannot learn theory (math, physics, CS) from putting together scraps of information obtained from different sources. Theory is a story/narrative/viewpoint and the first time you learn it you really need to stick to one person's consistent telling of the story. Once you get a solid handle, then you can use the web and use many sources to extend the knowledge.

Programming: Use tutorial websites
To learn programming, textbooks are stupid and useless. Go though a good meaty tutorial. Dont just read but actaully type in the lines of code as you go though and run the programs. After you finish each little sample program in the tutorial, take some time and ask, how can I improve this and take an hour or so to add new features using the knowledge you have learned (in fact I promise that If you - in your soul - meant to be a programmer, you won't be able to help yourself and you will spend hours adding new things to each little program and it will be fun)

TL;DR:
Math: go pirate PDFs/djvus of the classic textbooks or buy cheap international versions on ebay. If you get PDFs/DJVU PRINT THEM. Seriously. Trust me. Physical printed page is much easier to learn from. DO THE HOMEWORK PROBLEMS IN THE BOOK. YOU WILL NEVER GET MATH/PHYSICS WITHOUT DOING PROBLEMS.

Programming: Web bases tutorial that have have you work on mini projects.