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Is it possible to stop being a negative hateful person in adulthood? 2016-07-26 14:57:13 Post No.17394641
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Is it possible to stop being a negative hateful person in adulthood? 2016-07-26 14:57:13 Post No.17394641
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Is it possible to stop being a negative hateful person in adulthood?
Anonymous
2016-07-26 14:57:13
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I'm not sure if it's my innate personality or childhood experiences but I'm a negative, hateful person. I dislike everyone I meet in some way, everything annoys me. What's mildly annoying to others pisses me off. I've tried but I haven't been successful in brushing things off.
I've tried being upbeat and it worked for a while, but I'm becoming even more negative with age and it's becoming more draining to pretend otherwise. I pretend to smile and be chill and interested in others but eventually my facial muscles start hurting from the strain of pretending and my brain just shuts off and I stare off into space. It builds up.
Any knowledge here of changing deep seated behavioral patterns in adulthood? This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world as I'm pretty hermit but I'm in a LTR with someone who expects and deserves better.
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I understand what you're feeling.. I am too a hateful person. Therapy could help. Personally I force myself to think positively every day even when I want to stab a bitch. Happiness is a process not a destination. Took me some time to learn that but take time to find positives in things and maybe it'll get better.
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Work with children for a while, even voluntarily.
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Is it possible to know someone for two years, not be in love with them, but one day develop such feelings?
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>>17394624
Did something happen that caused the feelings to develop or was it a gradual thing?
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>>17394624
>is it possible
Yes.
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If you're talking about yourself. Think about if what you feel is real
if about someone else think about if this person could possibly see you in another light in anyway
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You guys have any programs/websites that help with daily planning, work flow ect. Something that helps you to plan study in way that you find efficient
Trying to get my shit together and start learning on my own.
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>>17394621
A pen and paper is all you need. Organize a to do list and you are gold.
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>>17394627
I work with post it notes atm but need something more digital its just more efficient for what I'm trying to achieve in terms of setting up my own study with websites for information, videos ect. Pen and paper just doesn't cut it anymore
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>move state and lose the only psychiatrist I've ever had and trust
>have enough meds to last a while but want to go back to therapy bc things are getting bad again (depression, anxiety, ocd, eating disorder)
>18, no luck getting a job, no money, dad just lost job so can't depend on parents for therapy money, plus insurance runs out next week
Therapy is fucking expensive and nobody will hire me because lack of job experience. I'm considering starting a gofundme but need advice on whether this is too dumb a reason to start one. Also, recently come back in touch with my rich godmother for the first time in like, 10 years and have considered asking if she could loan me money for therapy until I get a job and can pay her back but would that be rude considering I hadn't spoken to her in so long? I don't know what to do, things are just getting so bad again and I need advice. Thanks in advance.
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bump
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>no luck getting a job
>nobody will hire me because lack of job experience
How many jobs have you actually applied for? 1? 10? 100? And I mean actually filling out paperwork, submitting resumes, talking to employers, etc.
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>>17394687
Easily 100 at this point.
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Should I be bothered that my bf texted his ex "you've been on my mind" and nothing else when we started dating but weren't official yet?
Then after about two months of dating the ex texted him asking for money he owed her and he said "i wish you would have texted me about something else" but she didn't understand what he meant and he doesn't remember.
We have been together for six years. This isn't serious right? He tells me everything else and hasn't been in contact with the ex since. He says he didn't love her or want her back, I knew him before and remember how happy he was about the break up years ago (she cheated on him). I guess if he wanted her back he would have said so? I've known about this for a few years but it still comes to mind and I wonder if it's something serious..
Tl;dr bf texted ex six years ago, is this something to worry about?
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Bump ;_;
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>>17394616
Yes it is.
What is up with those cheating thread? Is this cheating week and i didn't get the memo?
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>>17394616
if he hasn't been in contact with her since you should have absolutely nothing to worry about. Back when he was first contacted maybe he still felt something for her but if he hasn't talked to her in 6 fucking years then I have absolutely no clue why you would be worried at all to the point of putting text emoticons on an anime image board with random strangers.
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>be me
>register in an discussion forum about beetles
>people seem to be nice
>one day I read a post and rage about the stupidity of op
>get a warning from the owner of the forum, he says he hates me but is willing to give me a second chance
>I think to my self, it's not worth it to apologize since he will not treat me the same anymore when I want to buy or sell anything on his forum
>decide to make a new account
>he finds out and rages but is still willing to give me another chance
>things going good
>ff to last week
>I argue with another user
>everyone hates me now, even if I was in the right to argue
>people tell me it would be better to leave
>got a great idea, how about a third account? It think to myself
>but this time I am going stealthy
>download a program that promise to hide my IP, better say it says I am located in the US
>register two days ago
>people think I am smart and polite
>just a minute ago I got permanently band
>can't reach the site anymore, no matter if I use my phone, my PS4, my PC, my PS3 or my brothers phone
>the site tells me I got banned because of the multiple accounts I created
>tfw you can't learn basic things, and make a mistake two times in a row
How can I get to site now ? Do I need to change my IP ?
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>>17394660
Grow up and move on to more productive things. You were banned for a reason.
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>>17394615
>can't reach the site anymore, no matter if I use my phone, my PS4, my PC, my PS3 or my brothers phone
No shit, you got IP banned retard
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forums can be really addictive
Anonymous
Getting over stupid fears 2016-07-26 14:46:22 Post No.17394612
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Getting over stupid fears 2016-07-26 14:46:22 Post No.17394612
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Getting over stupid fears
Anonymous
2016-07-26 14:46:22
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I have a fear of bugs that buzz, which primarily manifests itself if house flies and bumble bees. I know both are harmless but I just loose my shit when I hear their buzzing. Is there any easy way to get over this stupid fear.
For reference I believe I have this fear because I got stung a lot by wasps and bees that have stingers as a child, they would always get really close to my ear before stinging me in some place so I could always hear the buzzing.
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1. buy diapers
2. google exposure therapy
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Hey guys i've decided to try different drugs.
Never done any before , never even smoked a cig, which one should i start with? Also one of my main concern is that i'm a depressed loser and i've heard that drugs like MDMA can make you even more depressed , is it true?
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MDMA basically uses up the neurotransmitters responsible for happiness like seratonin. You'll feel great during but bad for a little while after until your brain creates more (like a week tops).
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>>17394601
>MDMA
Do not do this without getting a DanceSafe testing kit. Most "MDMA" these days, isn't.
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MDMA will make you happy for the duration of its effects but the next day you are going to feel pretty depressed.
I felt more empty than normal and it was basically impossible to feel any sort of happiness for a bit.
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>When a man stands in the midst of his own noise, in the midst of his own surf of plans and projects, then he is apt also to see quiet, magical beings gliding past him and to long for their happiness and seclusion: women. He almost thinks that his better self dwells there among the women, and that in these quiet regions even the loudest surf turns into deathly quiet, and life itself into a dream about life. Yet! Yet! Noble enthusiast, even on the most beautiful sailboat there is a lot of noise, and unfortunately much small and petty noise. The magic and the most powerful effect of women is, in philosophical language, action at a distance, actio in distans: but this requires first of all and above all - distance.
I don't understand, what did he mean by that?
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>>17394576
I think for any of Nietzsche's work you need to interpret it for yourself, but I see him saying romantism is too cluttered and chaotic and people need to take a step back to understand their actions when in a relationship.
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Hi /adv/, kissless virgin here.
There's this girl I've been studying with that started texting me after the lessons ended. We texted for a while and I flirted a little cause she seemed interested, I told her it would be cool to see each other before the lessons start. She texted me four days ago asking if we could get a drink together next week and I said yes.
I'm panicking a little here, what the fuck do I do. How do I not fuck it up?
I can hold a conversation for a while I think, but what do I do after?
I don't even know how to kiss ffs, I'm probably gonna be an awkward fuck.
Help me guys
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>>17394563
Go have a drink or 2 to relax.
Don't overthink everything, first date are almost always just for fun and to compare each others humor and interests. If things get physical it will be really obvious.
I reiterate have fun with her. Don't think this is suave sexy time.
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>>17394563
if you are going to drink, drink a bit beforehand to calm your nerves. remember if you fuck it up it won't matter, nobody cares.
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>>17394563
Women hate insecure men. You can fuck it up and do stupid things, but you have to be confident about your moves.
Being insecure is worse than being an idiot in the eyes of women.
Just be cool and stay cool
Anonymous
Too weird for a boyfriend? 2016-07-26 14:21:05 Post No.17394554
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Too weird for a boyfriend? 2016-07-26 14:21:05 Post No.17394554
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Too weird for a boyfriend?
Anonymous
2016-07-26 14:21:05
Post No. 17394554
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Hey guys,
I finally worked up the courage to tell this guy I like him, and he told me he just wanted to be friends. This is the first time i've ever asked anyone out, so i'm really down.
Guys tend to like me at first because i am shy, but as soon as they show interest in me i open up a lot more. I love gore films, some indie games, ssb4, things like that, and the way i talk and act has been labeled as weird for a long time now. I don't want to be weird, but i just accepted it as my personality.
I really want to change. I'm too weird. I get way too into things, i talk too much, i wear weird clothes, I have bizarre interests and no one is ever going to love me like this. I struggle so much when it comes to actually liking someone. i can't force myself to like someone, but if i do, they always think i'm too weird.
at what point is a woman too weird for you? If you are too strange, should you change yourself?
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>>17394554
If you can't accept yourself, how do you expect others to.
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>>17394554
I never understood how "weird" became this all-emcompassing label by itself, that has people putting themselves down. Dating is a game of numbers that gets harder indeed when you have rarer interests, but let my experience say that- such is better still than denying who you are. Go at it and you'll find someone who has at least one shared interest and will (at the least) put up with the rest, then you ask yourself if you can put up with their differences. Dating ain't for the weak, I can say, you need a certain resilience to deal with failure and the self-awareness to know where your standards really lie
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When a guy say he just wants to be friends it usually mean one of 3 things.
1) He does not find you attractive.
2)He is afraid of others opinion if you were seen together for whatever social stigma is involve. (usually teen or childish guys)
3)He does not know you well enough.
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Hey guys
Just turned 21, was pretty popular in highschool but after moving from my hometown and being a NEET for 2/3 of the year after highschool my life has been a downwards spiral and Ive just been working shit jobs here and there since. I just quit my job and am at a lost what to do now, probably college. What sort of position were you in at 21 /adv/ does it get better? any advice?
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>>17394540
>What sort of position were you in at 21 /adv/ does it get better?
live with friends i made in college getting high, working shit jobs and basically just taking a year off. And yes it does get better.
>any advice?
Eventually you will realize that comparing yourself to others is pointlessly depressing. And the only person you need to satisfy is yourself and those you love.
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How would I stop my bones from thinning from depo provera?
My mum has osteoporosis.
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>>17394533
Correct diet. Calcium and vitamin D.
Also - if you have history of osteoporosis, you're likely to develop it, sooner or later.
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>>17394537
This.
Also ditch soft drinks.
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>>17394537
B..BUT IM SURE MY MUM JUST GOT IT FROM SMOKING..!
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I used to have a "when I grow up" kind of feeling to all this
I have always believed that one day I would look back and laugh at my pathetic past
But after several years of only getting worse I am afraid that my mind can only degrade. I will only become more paranoid and delusional until I eventually destroy myself
What do I do
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What are you exactly paranoid and delusional about?
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>>17394509
You probably consider yourself to be pretty smart, right? If you're anything like one of my friends, you rely on the fact that you're smarter than others and that things will just naturally work themselves out. Nothing happens if you don't make it happen. You have to go through the struggle to make your mark. It's not too late to look back and laugh at your pathetic past. But you have to start now. You need goals to keep up your vision and avoid going back into the same comfort zone that you've been stuck in all this time.
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My girlfriend is depressed and I keep thinking it's my fault, but she tells me it's not. It's having a bad effect on our relationship though. She's really distant lately, doesn't tell me anything about how she feels and we argue often about me not cleaning her room when I'm at her place in the weekend or things like that.
What can I do to get the relationship back on track?
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Have open discussions about stuff. And knock it off with trying to say it's your fault. That is not true and is just going to come across as you trying to make her depression about you.
Try to just be empathetic and listen to her. Don't try to offer solutions unless she is asking you for advice. Just be there for her emotionally and support her.
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Don't force her to try and talk about it. Tell her you're there when she's ready to talk about it and just be supportive.
I had a similar situation kill a relationship because I was selfish and stupid rather than being patient.
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>>17394482
>I keep thinking it's my fault
It is not your fault. Depression isn't a transmissible illness. It's like saying she got cancer because of you.
It's sad, it sucks, but it's no one's fault.
>What can I do to get the relationship back on track?
You get her to see a professional and get over her depression. It will take some time.
All you can do is be supportive and nice.
>we argue often
Stop being pissy about the way she feels.
You're probably sad, worried and you want her to be functioning. She's feeling like shit, and the fact that you criticise her (and every bad thing you say about her will sound like a very harsh critique) makes her feel worst and get her angry.
Accept that she's sick and it will take some time to feel better. Being pissy won't make her feel better or change shit.
You can talk to her and find a compromise - if she looks for professional help, you will stop doing x thing that bothers her.
>She's really distant lately
I got distant from my boyfriend when I was sick because he's a very judging person and I was afraid of opening up to him.
With time he learnt to be more kind and more understanding, and I learnt to be more comfortable with him.