[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

Too weird for a boyfriend?

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 41
Thread images: 3

Hey guys,
I finally worked up the courage to tell this guy I like him, and he told me he just wanted to be friends. This is the first time i've ever asked anyone out, so i'm really down.
Guys tend to like me at first because i am shy, but as soon as they show interest in me i open up a lot more. I love gore films, some indie games, ssb4, things like that, and the way i talk and act has been labeled as weird for a long time now. I don't want to be weird, but i just accepted it as my personality.
I really want to change. I'm too weird. I get way too into things, i talk too much, i wear weird clothes, I have bizarre interests and no one is ever going to love me like this. I struggle so much when it comes to actually liking someone. i can't force myself to like someone, but if i do, they always think i'm too weird.
at what point is a woman too weird for you? If you are too strange, should you change yourself?
>>
>>17394554
If you can't accept yourself, how do you expect others to.
>>
>>17394554
I never understood how "weird" became this all-emcompassing label by itself, that has people putting themselves down. Dating is a game of numbers that gets harder indeed when you have rarer interests, but let my experience say that- such is better still than denying who you are. Go at it and you'll find someone who has at least one shared interest and will (at the least) put up with the rest, then you ask yourself if you can put up with their differences. Dating ain't for the weak, I can say, you need a certain resilience to deal with failure and the self-awareness to know where your standards really lie
>>
When a guy say he just wants to be friends it usually mean one of 3 things.

1) He does not find you attractive.

2)He is afraid of others opinion if you were seen together for whatever social stigma is involve. (usually teen or childish guys)

3)He does not know you well enough.
>>
>>17394554
Wanna hang out online?
>>
>>17394554
I can smell the fat weeb from here.
You probably look like shit with and without those "weird" clothes on. Am I right?
>>
There is a difference between changing yourself and changing how you project yourself to others. On paper you are different but not negatively. I think in your case just working on how you express yourself is the main focus.

You have interests which other movie nuts would love, especially gore lovers. Consider working on your dress to be more "general" and maybe clean up a bit if you havent already.

As much flack as women get here, men place a huge amount of emphasis on looks, just huge.

I have seen and talked to many pads who turneddown or declined girls for their looks, even if they thought they were interesting. Sad but it happens both ends.

Essentially dont change yourself, improve yourself and what you have. Perhaps self esteem too as you sound a bit down on yourself. Good luck.
>>
>>17394566
To add on to what this anon here says- as another "off" girl, sadly it's mostly the case of guys caring about what their mates will think. Honestly, I'd actually be less offended if I myself were rejected based on say, physical looks, because I'd rather my men be shallow than spineless, but hey, that is what I have observed so far
>>
>>17394566
he straight up said i was pretty but way too weird, so that's why im insecure about it. a lot of people have been saying that, recently.

>>17394572
Ive never cared for other peoples appearance, and i've had high self esteem, but lately people have just been saying bad things about me being weird or annoying. :/ i dunno. I do consider myself attractive, i've been hit on many times, im skinny and am clean, but its my personality that kills it. The last time a guy hit on me (maybe two weeks ago?) He said to my other friend he wasn't going to speak to me because i talked about david cronenberg way too much. I don't think its my appearance that is the issue.
I appreciate your help though, it means a lot.
>>
>>17394585
"Weird", quirky girls with uncommon interests are far from being a turn-off.

Are you two in high school?
>>
>>17394591
I've been out of high school for two years.
>>
>>17394585
Have you tried, you know, the Internet? And I mean the parts where people get obsessed over the weirdest schtick, the Internet's a wide place to find your exact brand of weird. I mean, I suppose there is the possibility that they are shady people in real life, but hey I've tried it and I'm unharmed and alive. There is that painful possibility of them living faraway and long-distance relationships are quite difficult, but you could always try bringing up your interests on local message boards and subreddits
>>
>>17394554 (OP)
I personally love weird people. Just wait and someone will love you for you. Don't change who you are just for someone else's benefit.

(you're awesome, don't let this get you down)
>>
You can't be too weird for a bf

You can be too fat though.
>>
>>17394585
Maybe practice small talk skills? As a kid I struggled to talk about anything other than games and chit chat was beyond me.

However after practice you get it down. The point of small talk is basic intro to see peoples interests but also to balance a conversation.

As much as I love say...Smash bros, even I can only talk about it for so long. Someone unfamiliar or uninterested is gone in 5 mins. Practice to balance topics as well as engaginf the other person in things they are interested in.
>>
Yeah disliking someone just cause of their interests is kind of counterproductive to relationships since no person shares all interests to begin with, if anything it gives you more to talk about and allows you to learn about stuff you may not have even had known about before.
>>
>>17394606
Not OP but I don't know how to feel about having changed men's opinions on that matter. An ex called having me around as "social suicide" because of my "weird/crazy af behavior", I guess maybe anons like you haven't seen what "socially inept and mentally off" can really look like. Or maybe you're the rare ones who really don't care how your friends think. But really, sanity of your partner is still an important factor.

TL;DR 7/10 looks + -2/10 sanity doesn't really work out
>>
Don't ever change yourself to be loved. Unless you're an evil muderer or a cheater or something. Don't change harmless personality traits that the right person will love. Even if you do try and change, we always returnto our true selves anyway - pretending to be someone else causes great unhappiness. Don't change for anyone. If they don't love you for you, thats the worlds way of saying theyre not right for you. Persevere until you find the one who loves you for you.
>>
>>17394618
Being weird though and sanity aren't comparable though because unless you know how weird the "interests" are you can't really make a good guess on how sane they are
>>
>>17394618
That's just for one guy not for guys in general.
>>
>>17394626
Its people in general. If someone is wierd in excess, people dont want to hurt their own social opporunities by being associated with them.

Imagine the most awkward or socially wierdest person you have seen or met. Would you hang out with them? There is your answer.
>>
>>17394632
That would also depend on how weird you are as a person aswell so again it's subjective.
>>
>>17394603
yes but i have very bad luck with it. they either ask for nudes right away, turn out to be 15, or just stop talking to me after a month.

>>17394608
Actually, i play competitive smash bros and thats how i met this guy. I talk about it a lot, especially my character and his tech (wario). I think I talk about it way too much, aswell.

>>17394620
That's a really nice way of thinking, thanks.
>>
>>17394625
Yeah that's true, OP can't be as (mentally) bad as I am, but I was mostly refuting anon's point on how only looks matter to guys
>>17394626
Two words "Gone Girl". You would've thought "crazy but hot" is a such a popular trope, every guy should get the warning by now, but hey I guess someone out there, always thinks it's still a good idea. Again, not entirely OP's situation, but there are still some guys out there who are so picky, sane-but-weird ones like OP are still too "embarrassing" to them, probably because they have some delusionally high standards and want some trophy wife
>>
Dammit, the girls in this thread sound like cool! Why can I never meet any girls IRL like the ones here?
Oh, right. They're all inside, browsing 4chan.
>>
>>17395003
That's the sadness of reality aka the best girls are the ones that you will probably never meet irl, sad but true.
>>
>>17395004
Shizzletitties :(
>>
>>17394554
OP, the average guy will always want a girl who is mentally empty, who isn't too passionate about anything and who can be easily subdued and be shown to others as a symbol of status.
Do you really want to change yourself and conform to that bullshit?
If anything, just learn to be more observant and gauge the interest of others when talking about a certain topic, if they don't seem interested, just change the subject to something that will engage them, perhaps another interest in common. Don't change yourself, but change the way you interact with others a bit, then hope to find that one guy who will be happy to hear you talk about David Cronenberg for 2 hours.
It will be hard to find, you'll grow lonely and you'll feel like you're "too weird", but it's worth it.
>>
>>17395083
Is that really true? I always felt like people were drawn to people more unique but im seeing it more now that men want to want to be with someone pretty primarily. Is that really true?
>>
>>17395139
Guys tend to work in this order, 1 Do I find them attractive, if no skips them if yes heads to 2 which is then the part they think about personality if no skips if yes it comes to hobbies and so on and so forth.
>>
For the average male? Yeah, most feel intimidated by a girl who is too passionate about her interests, but as you can see from all the responses in this thread, there's also a ton of guys who are really into girls like you... don't let a few rejections and bad experiences make you feel like there's something wrong with you.
>>
Oh forgot to mention as all of what I said is subjective it does depends on individual tastes of course.
>>
>>17394585
Since a relationship requires compromise, just be willing to ease up a bit, not necessarily mute/change your interests all together. To say that nobody out there would like you is a gross overstatement.
>>
>>17395139
>>17395153
Oops, I meant to respond to this, hehe.
>>
>>17394554
Are you fat? Be honest with yourself. If guys like hanging out with you then they won't usually consider you to weird to date. 90% of the time a guy likes a girl but only as a friend, is because she's fat
>>
>>17395178
Im underweight.
>>
>>17395178
Well that 10% just proved you wrong.
>>
Indie games and SSB4 aren't that weird at all.

I like stupid weeboo dating sims and dumb cellphone games, manga, KDramas, Catholic dogma, and geography.

I have an amazing and handsome fiance.

Men dont love women for their "interests" they love women for their personalities, and to a lesser extent for their looks. Look your best, act charming/loving, and wait for a guy to ask you out, dont ask him out. Give men who might otherwise seem a bit weird a chance.

Chances are if he hasn't asked you out he just doesn't like you like that. That's why you needed to make the first move in the first place.
>>
>>17395553
half way there then. You will find mr weird some day. Don''t change and I'm encouraged by a girl that is herself and not trying to be a barbie doll. Right now you are dealing with rejection just like all of us have and it feels shitty but it passes. Props to you for trying and asking.
>>
>>17394554
>Female
>Unable to acquire boyfriend
Pfffft hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
>>
>>17395553
Oh yeah I never asked but what are these hobbies you have that they specifically say are weird, it might help to peg down the reason why they think it is.
Thread posts: 41
Thread images: 3


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.