Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3786. page

>>17591387
Do you have hobbies? Interests?
Go to meet up. Join a class of a club. Join a sport team. Make friends and go from there.

There are plenty of strictly platonic sites and such that you can use if you just want to make friends first. As old as it is, Craigslist is still around. May net you a few bad responses should you put an ad up but if you're patient, a gem or two tend to pop up.

>>17591401

I do play hockey but that's all-female. I should also add that I live in Scotland where, generally meeting people through activities, just isn't a thing.

Please help me

>>17591371
What do you care? You were planning on leaving the country and dumping her, so she saved you the trouble.

>>17591371
she's cheating. Pretty much the gist of it.

>I'm actually an incredibly sentimental and (unfortunately) sensitive/empathetic person. How do I keep this from being exposed?
Why would you want to keep it a "secret"?
>I don't trust women enough to let them know this side of me,
What is your definition of "relationship", when it's not including "getting to really know the other one"?
>I feel like I'll be left and emotionally destroyed if they ever find out.
Why?
>Would it be best for me to just back out of this,
If you want to stay alone, yes.
>or is there a way I can hide this and still enjoy a relationship?
You'll always be acting. People notice that.

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>>17591360
I have some experience with this same problem,

Be yourself mang, she'll never fall for the guy who acts versus the guy who keeps it real
Deep down, they all want a fun softie anyway. I've only ever had one GF and we've been dating for 4 years. She almost broke up with me in the beginning because I was pretending to be something I'm not

>>17591360
Shmuck.

While some women do like to flirt with the 'danger' of being with bad boys, 99%, if absolutely truthful, would much rather have a soft, loving, emotionally open man.

Just try it and see.

4chan won't help and you don't want proper help so..

>>17591344
Why? Why do I have to be put into the "alcoholic-drug abuser" box so that everyone thinks I am a wierdo? I need to get out of this without oficially tagging myself as a piece of shit that I am

>>17591331
22 year old graduate student in about the same position.

Drink when I can, used to do drugs back when I had them available to me but almost died, been to the hospital, raped a couple times this year, living in a new place trying to put a life together and doing literal nothing instead.

I just want to drop out and become a shitty roommate junkie. I don't know about you, but for me I just am disillusioned totally with my life and prospects—I don't really want success in my field even though I've already had a good deal of it, I just want some semblance of a life.

I don't have any advice. I don't know if anyone could. Maybe you don't really want to be doing what you're doing, but if that's not it, then I don't know, Anon. But I hope things get better, even if they won't.

>>17591322
By making a move.

Fart on her and watch her reaction.

>>17591322
Does treat like she does everyone else?

Or does she lust and perve after you?

>>17591317
For clarity, if she is married I dont plan to do anything so am wondering how to engage and find out safely.

Ask her what she does for fun...tell me about yourself. Usually people will mention they are married or have a significant other.

>>17591333
Keep in mind this is a class rather than 1 to 1. What would be the best timing for this? Each class is about an hour and a half, one evening per week.

Words of wisdom? Just break up with her.
Spend a bit of time alone, and put yourself back out there once you are certain you won't throw away everything in the name of lust.

Like two months ago, I would have been eager to call you an immature scumbag with self-control or desire to commit. Now, with my situation something like yours, I am not so sure. I can certainly empathize.

Things get stale, she changes, you try to fight the tide because moving with it seems like settling, and just like that your eyes start roving. You fantasize, you long for that cute girl you saw in this place or that one in spite of the one you already have. It seems to be about resentment.

TL;DR: Talk to her and be honest. See what can be salvaged so that the both of you can be happy. She just needs to want to talk to you about it after you 'fess up.

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>>17591306
Fuck this, it's gonna break her heart if I tell her what happened, but then again one's gotta take some responsibility eventually, right?

>>17591307
Dude, you can maybe imagine how sympathetic this sounds. It's the same for me, my first GF of four years cheated on me hard.

But to be honest, now that I gotta talk to her, I'm not even sure I wanna fix this. I know from experience how hard it is to trust again, and she now seems - to put it in your words - so stale. Everything's just so fucking stale. Even her god damn looks are so stale. Fuck.

>Teachers are too fucking lazy to do their own work.

You're nothing other that a glorified babysitter.

>>17591261
Lord have mercy how can you not understand how to approach this? Any Historical textbook or article has a well laid out and objective description of the event. Do as they do, just talk facts. It is concerning a teacher is asking this very simple issue.

>>17591261
Read Hitler's book for his side. You should know what the Jewish stance is already since it's all people get fed. What's the issue?

never heard of a psych exam for a driver's license before. what country do you live in?

>>17591285
can't be specific, in eastern europe it seems we are need check mark from narcologist and psychiatrist for medical examination to be satisfactory, once you've been to psych ward at least once, you're in government database, then mysterious events occur. Basically AFAIK I need document from hospital that allows me to participate in road traffic and my mental illness is not going to harm anyone I guess. I was surprised I was sent to psychologist in order to get that checkmark, kind of confused not sure what implications that visit might have.

>>17591311
not sure if I can help you, but I will try. if I knew how to dodge mental illness related disadvantages, I would probably be out working a job instead of browsing 4chan.

I do know that they probably won't call you crazy just because of a dream, no matter how weird the dream is. everybody has strange dreams.

what mental illness were you diagnosed with? do you still have symptoms?

trying to fool a questionnaire is very difficult. you are better off just being honest. there are usually questions that are disguised as legitimate questions, but are intended to see if you are faking. I wish I could think of an example. it would be hard to know unless I saw a copy of the test.

>>17591190


So, I decided to ask her for a coffe and say this. It's a work in progress, so I'm just throwing concepts:

>I love you more than I will love anybody, and I don't think you'll find somebody that loves you more than I do
>I think about you every second of every day and that's driving me crazy
>I walk through the city hoping to find you and make you remember why you liked me
>I get nervous everytime I go out with my current gf just in case we meet
>I have to forget you
>I'm going to delete our nine months of conversations, your facebook profile and your phone number so I don't have an excuse to text you everytime you change your profile picture
>with time, I'll be able to love somebody else, I guess

If she has nothing to say, I'll tell her that knowing her has been the best that ever happened to me. And I'll try to stick to my words.

What do you think? What would be her reaction?

>>17591191
>>17591191
It's okay to feel attached to someone, but you have to side with probability and the odds are you'll be over it and so will she. Do you expect to be 40 y/o and still giving a fuck? That doesn't mean the other person stops mattering to you either.

>>17591191
You might scare her off. She might love you back. Take the chance so you know for sure. If she shuts you down you need fo let it go though for sanity sake. Sounds like you spend too much time thinking of her and not yourself. That can be a dangerous path to codependancy obsession. Especially for a relationship that only had a few dates.

>>17591175
I didn't consider it but I had that realization. Not to be that cliche but yeah it freed me. I'm geared towards living life as if it's meaningless anyway so it's fine. If you had hopes of life being this thing that will make you feel good based on achievements then you may have a different conclusion.

I can share advice from that standpoint of you care to hear it.

>>17591179
I have always enjoyed reading and listening to other's opinions, so I find it interesting even if you haven't experienced it.

>>17591185
I was doing okay with life and enjoying my full ride to college but like you said I didn't feel like it ultimately mattered. Maybe they call this an existential crisis but I just call it intuition. Everyone knows when someone isn't worth a damn to them personally. It's always obvious, but when the concept of achievement is thrown in things look a lot less obvious.

Again to be cliche, there's way more to life than what you and I know. You can live a number of ways and the only opinions on what you've "achieved" that will matter will be from those around you who you love. You know who cares if you are a top student? Companies looking to hire good workers, and I guess goldiggers but thats another convo.


The point is I see life as being meaningless (at least on our puny human level) but that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable. You've got some exploring to do if you want to find what you actually care about.

>>17591144
No.

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maybe. or maybe your fly is open. or maybe she's looking at something else and your crotch was in the way. or maybe your pants are too tight. bulges aren't always sexy. sometimes they are just creepy. see pic related. you can will yourself not to stare at jim carrey's hideous green sack, but you can still feel it staring back at you.

if it's clear that she's not looking at something else, and you're pretty certain your junk isn't staring at her, then yeah, maybe she wants the d.

It depends on how long she looks, and what she does aftewards.

>>17591139
You're fine so long as they like you.

As far as making friends go you should familiarize yourself with American culture, pop culture especially. We bond over our entertainment.

>>17591142
I mean I pay attention to that too, but I feel like there are still cultural differences between us and the Americans. Like you guys drink and party much more than we do. I don't drink and I've never been to a bar or anything.

>>17591143
"Partying" extends way beyond actual parties for us. Most people just hang out and will respect your choice not to drink or partake and other things, but you will have to at least be around them to bond.

Also scheduling a doctor appointment soon btw

I'm 19 if relevent

>>17591097
Yep, ass cancer

>>17591105
Am I going to die?

Thanks

>>17591074
Well I can personally shoot down the idea that it's you specifically. I had a new lease on life after running into a lot of, to be frank, 4chain tier people with similar personalities as those here. They somehow still get laid, and I'm starting to chalk it up to just being around like minded people a lot.

Anyway do you like in a big city? Mid? Small? If it's a major city I can probably think of a few scenes available that you'd fit into.

>>17591074
Also if you're a legit firefighter then holy shit man, I'd let you trade spots with me and you can date these dumb sluts. With "firefighter" as my title I'd like to think my value with be way higher.

My country is singapore so basically, its a country-city. People are extremely stockup and barely talk in bars. It has 5 mil population over a small area. Pretty dense!