Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2852. page

>>17938584
>masterbare
>masetrbste

i thought brain damage were after the blindness

>>17938584
Try to slow down a bit, once a day, without porn, its better for you.

>>17938674
Once every like 2-3 days is ideal

>I'm trying to save money
>buying stuff I don't need right now
If you were trying to save money, you wouldn't be buying shit you don't need.

>>17938578
Forreal

>>17938574
If it's name brand, it's guaranteed to be fake if it's coming from Ali.

>>17938549

what? dude this isn't a right or wrong. its not a moral issue.

she made it clear she doesn't like you because of that joke. you put the ball in her court if she changed her mind but she probably wont.

i found a guy really sexy and dreamy and perfect til he said 'DAMN I NEED TO TAKE A SHIT' really loud and obnoxiously. after that i literally gagged when i saw him.

people are fucking weird and the littlest things can turn us off.

what was the joke though im dying to know?

>>17938549

not forgiving you for a dumb joke after you apologized (i assume sincerely) seems immature. You maybe could have handled it with more poise but moving your life in another direction from this person seems to be the right choice.


Just for shits, what was the joke?

>>17938564

its not that she didn't forgive him, there was probably nothing to forgive.

but feelings aren't logical. he said something that upset her in some way. she didn't take it personally to the point where she was mad, but she didn't want to date someone who makes jokes like that. it doesn't make her immature, she can't stop her feelings from being turned off when a guy dissapoints her.

remember that we are hearing OPs side and not her side about how he siad something say, incredibly racist, and she doesn't appreciate that because it implies he might actually be racist even if he says 'LOL JUST JOKING, BUT NIGGERS AMIRITE?'

>>17938545

try inviting him to do something or suggesting something to do after a little while. Then you'll know for sure. if it's a guy it seems like he's just sick and busy from this context.

>>17938553
This. Just wait until a week or so after he's feeling better, then ask him to do something. If he can't make it ask him when is a good time for him. If he cancels that then you can be pretty sure he's blowing you off. People are busy, it's okay to reschedule stuff. I usually give people 3 chances then chalk it up to them not giving a fuck about the relationship.

>>17938545

depends on the nature of the illness. sounds like a soft rejection wherein he says 'of course' then never has to follow up.

that being said i have a brain injury that makes it hard for me to remember anythign from one day to the next. so unless someone makes a solid plan with me, i wont remember to reach out to them again. ever.

my tinder is just like 300 fucking matches of conversations that i started and went well but never returned to.

if hes sick and waiting to heal, wait for him to heal. then say 'hey now that you're feeling better are you free saturday for this one activity?'

thats the best way to find out.

>>17938505

everyone gets them.

we grow up being told that to just have these thoughts makes us inherently bad people, but its not true.

look at history. hell, look at the news. we are all violent over petty shit, and thats okay.

the point is to control these urges, not to stop them from existing.

Violent thoughts are okay. The less you repress them, the more they'll go away.

Alternately, if you're just surrounded by people who are dicks, try to distance yourself from them, and maybe get a new job and make some friends there.

>>17938510
What you wrote souds familiar, like something I'd say, but I feel weird, as in, I know myself too well or I'm probably completely clouded. What is this uncertain bullshit?

And how do you feel I should control/filter these urges?

File for custody?
Have a rabbi bless the wife?

>>17938488
Baptism only matters if you believe in it. Otherwise it's a meaningless dunking. But he should have his lawyer put the religious upbringing clause in the divorce agreement.

Literally the only thing he can do is try to get full custody. Anything less and she can do whatever she wants with them in terms of raising them in a certain religion.

This can either help or hurt, but try going to a strip club where they'll let you touch the girls' boobs if you pay for a dance. When you go, set a strict budget for how much money you're going to spend. That'll either help or make things worse.

If you want to lose your magical fascination for boobs, try watching a video of a dissection of a female cadaver. That'll turn you right off... or make things worse.

The best way is to probably just join /r/pornfree and stop watching porn all together.

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>>17938490
>Mentions reddit
>Rest of 4chan creates mob
>You get brutally dismembered by said mob
Feels bad man.

Kind of like smoking a whole pack to quit smoking run around the mall touching boobs til your bored with it

>>17938463
Probably because you mistake being passive with being nice

Niceness is a neutral quality. Most girls are neither attracted nor unattracted to it

But passivity is a negative quality

>>17938463
They like the experience you're spewing, not necessarily the negative talk. Girls are more impressed about the things you've done, and the shit you've learned from it.

>>17938470

That's the thing that confuses me. I'm being super negative! Every dating couch I've watched on Youtube suggest being positive around girls.
Maybe it's because I'm faking it?

>>17938458
There's nothing you can do except be passive

Don't insult anyone back. Reply to the friend of hers asking whats going on

Maybe message your ex and gently ask her whats going on as well, without being accusatory. Tell her that you thought the breakup was good

Basically be curious and act apologetic if she accuses you of doing anything wrong

Appeasement is your only option here

>>17938458

Out of curiosity, what past behavior was it that you regret OP?

>>17938482
Growing up, It was common for friends form the church to say at home, a few times I skeneaked in their bedrooms while they're sleeping and jerked off (without touching them) and went back to my room.

I watch a lot of porn, I used to have erectile disfunction, I've tried to commit suicide a couple of times, I'm a closet atheist in a very religious familiy.

>>17938401
If they don't ask, why would you tell?

>>17938417
Well that's the thing, they usually do.

Don't bring it up unless they ask. If they're likely to ask, I think you're just going to have to accept that you won't be able to be a flight attendant. Just because it's 2017 doesn't mean that all occupations allow tattoos, and that's really something you should have considered when you got it.

>>17938374
Try doing hard drugs. If anything will make you stop caring about the girl, it's heroin.

>>17938380
Thanks

>>17938374
Write about her

I've heard that turning girls into literature is a good way to get over them

It worked for me

>>17938362
Can you give some examples of the red flags/deal breakers that you're talking about?

>>17938362
Just act like she doesn't exist. Don't return her calls or messages, and if you see her in public, act like you don't know her. She'll be grateful that you did it.

>>17938362
You go through with the date politely because
1. she might turn out to be more fun than you thought
2. it is the right thing to do.

And if the evening is a bust, you thank her and just never follow up.

So now it's November, and I still have no job. I've been eating 1-2 meals a day and sometimes not at all. I decided to try and work for myself as a cartoonist, but have yet to earn any money from making cartoons.

To summarize:

My Goal: to eat 3 meals a day and not want to kill myself.

My obstacles:

-No Bank account
-No Job
-No car
-Can't sleep when I'm too hungry
-My Identity is possibly being stolen
-Little to no desire to integrate into a traditional American workplace
-Few ties within the art community
-crippling and irrational fear of plasma donation (i'm a wuss)
- very few possessions to sell
- borrowing from relatives is out of the question
- $2.83 to last me till the next time I get some money somehow


If anybody has any good ideas about what I can do to better my situation please let me know. Thanks for reading to those who read.

>>17938339

Your first objective should be to earn any money. Start working at mc-d or a similar place till you find something better. If you are in need for food and dont have any money you also can go dumpster-diving.


Also what did you major in?

>>17938373

Linguistics and International Studies

>>17938319
Gotta be 18+ to post here

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Yes
Yes
No.

Not OP fem. Can I get std's if I succ?

>>17938310

if you go to AA you'll notice there isn't that many young people there. 20 years ago there was lots of young people. while I do think Millenials get unfairly judged for their behavior, this one is a pretty obviosu pattern i have seen in this generation.

you claim you REALLY REALLY want to do something, but not if it involves the already established measures that exist to help you do it.

is it pride? shame? time? why can't you go to AA?

my boss just got his 45 years sober chip. the only time he slipped was one time he ordered ginger beer (which is generally non alcoholic) and they gave him an alcoholic one. he took one sip and sent it back.

he even buys non alcoholic mouth wash.

my mother one the other hand is like you. she didn't want to do AA. for her it was a pride issue. she didn't want to be judged for being in AA. so she stopped going.

now she drinks again and takes entire bottles of pain meds so that my dad has to drive her to the ER so she doesn't die.

point im trying to make here is if you had willpower, you wouldn't be asking how to stop drinking. you'd just stop drinking. thats literally what will power is.

go to AA. not saying you need to go forever. but go to AA.

as far as what to do with the freetime NOT spent at AA, invest in some hobbies. i like making movies. not youtube videos, but scripted narratives.

others draw comics, others produce radioplays, or design video games, or build furniture.

do something thats fun that feels rewarding when you're done.

good luck.

>>17938310
>>17938535

and to clarify, yes, i had a drinking problem as well. i was drinking about half a bottle of vodka a day.

when i realized what kind of road i was racing down, i hit the breaks. i stopped drinking entirely. about a year after no booze at all i allowed myself to have soem beer. and for the last 3 years, ive been able to healthily balance alcohol usage.

I rarely ever have more than one beer. and i rarely have more than 2 drinks a month. usually just one beer when i go to see a movie at the theaters.

the difference between you and I is that I have willpower. i wanted to control myself, so I did.

you don't have willpwoer. you think you do cvuz you have done other things before, but those were things you legit wanted to do, so you did them.

will power means doing the things you absolutely don't want to do that are extremely difficult to do.

if you can quit on your own, quit. if you find yourself saying that with a bottle of beer heading for your mouth, then you should probably just go to AA.

>>17938535
This is fucking wrong. They've done studies and found that people who go to AA have higher relapse rates than people who quit on their own.
If you're looking to quit drinking, phone a drinking/alcoholism helpline or attend a non AA meeting.
AA is guilt-ridden Christian bullshit.