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I lost my grandma recently, anons. It may not sound like a big deal, but my parents died when I was young, and she stepped in and raised me. She was a remarkable person, and my best teacher and friend. She was also the last family I had. My brother died of leukemia, my sister in a car accident.
I know grief lasts a long time, but here's my problem: I have shit to do.
I work, and take classes. I was just offered a second job and I need to start focusing on that as well as keeping my grades up.
But ever since the funeral, I've felt exhausted, like I can't keep focus on anything. I've lost my appetite, and can't even get up the energy to cook or clean. I miss her. I miss my family. I'm so tired.
How do I get my energy and focus back? Taking time out just to feel sad or sleep it off isn't an option right now
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kill yourself so you can be with your family again, OP
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>>18280340
I'm sorry for your loss, anon. Maybe try going to a therapist? Talking it out may help ease your pain a bit.
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>>18280340
take it a step at a time
it's cruel how life doesn't stop when we're too tired to pick up our feed and keep moving with it
but you gotta, somehow
losing a loved one is a miserable experience and like
the best thing i can advise is to just come up with a reason to get through today
or just the task at hand
tell yourself that itll be worth it
renind yourself of one of the people you miss and what they shared with you when they were around
hold onto them and use what they gave you to push forward
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Need some advice maybe someone has been in this situation.
Basically, I'm a father. Ive been with my girlfriend for about 6 years and we had a child 2 and a half years ago, not planned but not a mistake.
Our relationship hasn't always been smooth, and its rather parasitic. I always try to think of my son rather than myself. Recently an old coworker of mine has been chatting me up on facebook. Sometimes I get a good conversation out of her and most of the time it is one sided. We met up for drinks the other night, and we didn't do much at the bar but she was grinding my hand a moment and I took her back to her house after we were done at the bar. She let me sleep with her in her bed and cuddle her, she even took off her bra and then forced her ass into my groin but we both passed out regardless so nothing sexual took place. I've never been good at reading signs but long story short:
Is this girl into me? I feel like her and I could make it together, but if I leave who I'm with now I'm afraid the stress will make my depression worse. I haven't eaten in 3 days now, I usually play video games but I've just been sitting around doing nothing.
This all sucks because I have hardly any friends, everyone who I ever talked to about my problems has always made me out to be some piece of shit like I can control how I feel or something and I'm afraid my depression is just going to get worse and worse.
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Man, don't be a fool. You need to stay with your son's mom if it's an option.
The grass is NOT greener. This other girl is ALSO a parasitic bitch, just like most of them, but even worse she's fucking around with a taken man.
You're going to lose everything gambling like this. You've already gone too far and need to sort your life out, m8.
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>>18280376
Dis
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>>18280376
Following up on this, after about 5 years, man, a relationship is more than just a relationship. Someone becomes an irreplaceable part of your life, and you might physically cut them out of your life, but part of you is forever lost with that excision.
Real shit, man.
Anonymous
How do I accept the fact that I will have a child? 2017-05-02 10:11:14 Post No.18280328
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How do I accept the fact that I will have a child? 2017-05-02 10:11:14 Post No.18280328
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How do I accept the fact that I will have a child?
Anonymous
2017-05-02 10:11:14
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My wife is pregnant. We have been together for about 8 years, we are both mid 20. I am going to be a father in November.
This is all my wife talks about, but I struggle even saying it, and we have just started telling other people. Part of me feel like my life is over. I want to escape. I don't feel like I'm at that stage of life yet.
I feel like I have missed some of by best years of being young because I have been in a relationship since I was 17. And now my wife is pregnant and I feel like my life is ruined, wasted. I just want to escape, go back to being 17 and do things differently.
I can't be the only one that felt this way. How do I turn my thoughts around, all I see is negativity? I want to be young and stupid.
How is this a good thing? I know I am selfish, and that is why I don't think I'm ready for this.
Help me, I feel like my life is over.
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Your life with your kid are going to be tge best years of your life. Grow up. Also get a DNA test.1 out of 3...
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>>18280328
>Help me, I feel like my life is over.
It isn't. You're being a mood cunt going through growing pains. Its perfectly natural, just don't get so caught up with it that you forget to be a good father and a good husband.
You did this. Your decisions led up to this. Take responsibility for your actions and your life. Be a man. Your wife and child are going to need you to stand tall.
Its ok to be scared, just know when its time to let go of the self pity and focus. Kids or not, you can't be a kid forever. Those days are over now and you have to let them go. You have lives depending on you now. Time to step up.
As soon as that kid pops out your life and happiness are no longer the priority.
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>Be sure it's yours.
>see it for first time
All those things you said op are true. You are selfish. You don't sound like you are at that stage of life. you have thrown away freedom during prime years by being locked with 1 woman. It was much easier being a boy
Tuff rocks dad... you need to be a man now. It will be a little easier once you hold your child. But properly raising human beings is hard stuff desu
Anonymous
Illegal images on google? 2017-05-02 10:07:00 Post No.18280311
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Illegal images on google? 2017-05-02 10:07:00 Post No.18280311
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Illegal images on google?
Anonymous
2017-05-02 10:07:00
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If you google image search the term "nudists" hundreds of photos come up of under aged girls. How is this possible/ legal via google?
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>>18280311
Nudism is considered art legally and not cp.
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>>18280311
Google is desperately trying to normalize and put pedophilia into the mainstream. The world has a huge problem.
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>>18280423
>Google is desperately trying to normalize and put pedophilia into the mainstream.
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How do I make a move on a waitress?
She works at a coffee shop near my place.
No it's no one-itis, but I really have a crush on her.
Since I'm an old khv I have 0 dating experience, I probably don't stand a chance but if you guys have any advice.
She is aproximately my age (24yo), she probably works this as a part-time job.
How do I talk to her to know more?
Is there a way I can make a conversation without showing that I'm crushing on her or be awkward?
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>>18280220
If you aren't already talking to her this is a bad thing. Any time I've dated or gotten to know a waitress, it's been through natural means after coming to a place enough times. Like, you have a common server, some banter starts... it's hard to explain.
I'm guessing if you have zero experience, and are crushing this hard before even talking to her, that it probably isn't going to go very well. But it's not impossible. Just try to start some casual discussion when she comes around next time. Is she ever your server?
Good luck anon. I've dated waitresses and I had one rip my heart out and punt it across the street, so I don't know whether to tell you to go for it or run away.
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>>18280220
Chat her up one day and ask her out on a date.
The goal here to is get to know her better since she piques your interests.
Put your best foot forward here too. Look your best, be your best self, and do not be afraid of what may happen because you may actually be reciprocated.
Show her how you feel by your ACTIONS, not your words. I'm guessing you're male, so trust your instincts and make a move you feel it's right.
Good luck out there, life is a learning experience.
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>>18280220
This sounds like a bad idea on every level possible.
Getting hit on at work is awkward at best, she can't just tell you to fuck off when you're annoying her and she can't slack off too much if you don't. If you can get a hold of her when she's having a smoking break, it'd be possible to start a conversation and move from there but without any experience it's unlikely to work and will make shit awkward, so a problem if you want to visit this place again.
Rather get some practice in more casual places.
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Roommate is ducking me on paying rent - like not coming home until it's clear I'll be in bed for work, leaving before I'm up, ignoring my texts, all that shit.
How do I legally protect myself and tell him he has two weeks to pay rent or I am going to serve him with an eviction notice? And how do I legally hold the eviction notice with no lease agreement signed? Also, what do I do with his things? He will not have anywhere to put them if I kick him out, as he'll be living on the street.
He literally has nowhere to go and has been unemployed for months. He spent all of his savings on a girl.
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talk to your landlord or property manager, tell them the situation and that you want help kicking him out for non payment
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>>18280177
No lease agreement? Can't you just change the locks and say "tough shit" in that case?
Unless you also don't have a viable claim on the residence.
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>>18280191
In most places in the US, of they've lived there for 30 days I believe they can claim residency even without a signed lease, and you still have to go through the whole eviction process.
Not sure if OP is the landlord or just the person on the lease, but he should start the eviction process soon as it can often take a while and to force it you need the sheriff's office to cooperate.
Your best bet might just be to make their life miserable.
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i used to have this friend. let's call him X. we were really close like best friends and i was actually in love with him. (im a girl). x and i had our problems at times and sometimes he treated me like shit. the last few days of our friendship we got into a huge fight of me telling him not to do something and he got physical. his mom stepped in and talked to me privately for awhile and i told her everything, like how he asked to shower with me when he was fucked up and etc.
i left and we talked later and all was fine. i slept over that night and then woke up the next morning to go to school and he was mad and stormed away from me. he refused to talk to me after. i have no idea why or how our friendship ended. let me get this clear: i've known him for YEARS, we hung out everyday for a year and were super close. both of us don't like to be around people that much but we were like that with one another. i actually went to the hospital the day after he stormed away from me because i wanted to kill myself. he knew i was in there and didn't call or say a word to me. a few weeks after i got out i wrote him a letter and all he said was "i appreciate it but i think we should continue to not be friends" i was really upset and kinda went off about how we've known each other for so long and how easy it was for him to cut me off blah blah blah. no response. a month after that i texted him to have a casual convo and we did and he was being an asshole. he didnt sound like he normally sounded over text. i admitted that ive missed him and he said okay with a following message asking about my dog. it went on to me asking what happened and him not giving a response. i miss him so fucking much i dont know what to do. i think about it constantly. maybe because i have no closure, im not sure. i just dont know what to do because i feel so hopeless. i am very intuitive and for some reason it does not feel like our relationship is over. what do i do. i want to speak to him.
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reply pls
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>>18280137
I just skimmed that - maybe cut it down to one to two lines, for your own sake. If you want to talk to him, talk to him, but it sounds like he isn't interested. You'll be ok, strive for independence.
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You both need help. That's all I'll say.
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Hey /adv/!
So I know this guy right? He's not interested in a committed relationship, and neither am I, however, we have both mentioned that we would like to have friends with benefits (not just having sex, like cuddling and stuff like that). Numerous times he has mentioned it, and I'd like to jump up at the offer. Problem is, I dunno how to ask him without looking kind of creepy about it. Help
Is that creepy? Should I just like not do it?
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>>18280134
Friends with benefits always end up with feelings. I've been there and done that, if you want something with no feelings attached fuck them once and move on.
p.s no guy will reject a fuck buddy
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>>18280147
Can confirm.
t. guy who lost virginity through this only to regret it later.
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>>18280147
I agree, friends with benefits setup with a girl, that included kissing, cuddling and talking made me catch feelings for her and I was crushed when she shot me down.
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>met guy online 2 years ago
>lives 5 hours away
>like each other tons
>agree to not date because "long distance never works"
>stay friends
>cannot date anyone else because he's perfect
Do I just have to drop contact and move on? Or maybe LD might work?
We met IRL three times, plan to meet up again this summer. When we are together we cuddle but nothing really sexual happens.
He told me he's in love with me once.
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>>18280128
I've been with my guy for over 6 years now, and most of that time had been spent as long distance. Right now we're 4 hours from each other, which is the closest we've been since the long distance aspect started.
LDRs can work, but they take a lot of work.
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>>18280138
We're both very busy with school and work, so practically it'd be really hard to make it work.
He spent Christmas with my family over the last 2 years, and I visited him last summer for his birthday. We always had an amazing time.
I don't know. I wish it could work, but I am scared we'll fail miserably.
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>>18280128
Sometimes long distance is good, as it makes the heart grow fonder and needful to see them more.
I have a friend, he is from england and he met a girl in south korea. His father worked for british airways and could get cheap af flights (poor quality seats obvs), but still managed to be in a relationship for two years and eventually married her. They both live in the uk now.
Moral of the story: long distance can work bro, effort + trust = major part
Anonymous
I don't know if I love my girlfriend 2017-05-02 08:39:35 Post No.18280117
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I don't know if I love my girlfriend 2017-05-02 08:39:35 Post No.18280117
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I don't know if I love my girlfriend
Anonymous
2017-05-02 08:39:35
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Hi /adv/
Im 21yo and recently got into my first relationship since 6 years ago. The thing is, I don't know if I really love my girlfriend. She's a kind person, has her flaws, but well I've got mine as well so whatever. I definitely do like her a lot but I don't know if that's really love (for example having kids with her sometime still seems like a strange idea to me).
I usually don't have very strong romantic feelings, so should I stay with her and wait for them to develop? Does love develop over time?
I'm just a real noob in relationships, and kind of an autist sometimes too.
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You should leave. I felt the same way about my wife, thought that getting married and having kids would make me fall in love with her more and deepen the lack of feelings. Absolute opposite, have wasted ten years of my life, resent her and don't actually love my kids like I should.
Don't end up like me. Take my advice, don't stay with someone or get married or have kids because you think it will get better. If it's not there it's not there, and you'll end up wishing for NK to drop a nuke on your house everyday so you can finally die.
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>>18280117
Love isn't always at first sight. It's not always that spark that suddenly hits you and you "just know". Sometimes love takes a while to grow, and that's okay. It's not worth less than the lightning bolt type of love.
When I met my current boyfriend, I didn't love him. The change was so gradual that I didn't even realize it was happening until one day, I just sort of realized all these crazy intense feelings had grown where there had previously been none.
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I go by a 3 months rule. I say wait 3 months and see if you want to go beyond.
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What the goddamn fuck. My wife had an intervention with my daughter and her to get me to stop taking street drugs. After lots of crying and soul spilling I agreed to change for them.
That was two days ago. Today I cracked, met up with my dealer and bought a bag of pills. I was in the car about to take them and just couldn't, bawled my eyes out and didn't want to, finally had that junkie is done moment.
I come home with a smile, sit down with my wife and show her the pills, crying and telling her I bought them today but am showing you I am changing and don't want to take them. First time I've ever physically demonstrated my weakness and willingness to quit by turning them over to her. I thought she would be proud of me and my honesty and openness with her.
I was so fucking wrong. She flipped and can't believe that I have gone and bought them despite not taking any, she says I am demonstrating I can't be trusted and that I am still a junkie because I went and bought them.
Is she a fucking retard and blind that I was truthful, open, and actually going to change?
Or am I the retard for thinking that buying them, not taking them, and then telling her about it would make her be proud of me and show that I've changed?
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I'm sorry, anon.
It is obvious that you are trying. I wish you had been met with more support and love.
But your wife and daughter may have a lot of built up anger and frustration about the years you've spent as an addict. It will take time for the family dynamic to heal, and for them to trust you again.
I was the child of drug addicts, and trust me, it was hell. I had to resuscitate my own mother several times, when she overdosed.
When I was in my 20s, my mom decided to get clean, but struggled and fought hard for it, but died shortly after getting sober.
My dad joined twelve step on his own a few years later, and has been in therapy. He slips up sometimes, but he is trying.
It is very hard to watch somebody you love destroy themselves and hurt the people around them for twenty years - in some cases, lying, cheating, stealing, and neglecting their close relationships. You don't get over that overnight.
Getting sober is going to be a hardwon battle, anon, however you go about it. You are going to have to take responsibility for your past actions, and learn to face every scary, difficult thing in your life without the escape of drugs. But if you keep at it, you can win people's trust back. You just have to earn it.
I wish you the best of luck, and hope that you find support and encouragement on your path.
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She is probably frustrated with the idea of trying to encourage you if you are going to go out and spend the money. You need professional help, full stop. This guilt tripping business is a joke.
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>>18280116
>First time I've ever physically demonstrated my weakness and willingness to quit
Get used to it. Getting clean is all about showing vulnerability, admitting weakness, and becoming a better person because of it. Life hurts, you aren't perfect. Nobody is. Don't expect a gold star for doing the right things, the things that everybody is expected to do just to be a decent person.
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You're texting with a guy on tinder and he took ages to answer your text but texted you a long ass message what does it mean?
Of course I waited for awhile before answering his text as well.
> He asked me to meet up I said I might be busy on that day can't confirm yet => disappeared.
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>>18280090
he might not be on tinder 24/7
or he just dropped you
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>>18280103
He might be not on there 24/7 but dropping a girl after asking for a meeting and the girl says she's not sure yet? Beta
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>>18280121
Beta recognizes beta.
When gaming and midlife crisis collide. I'm in my late 30's and my parents and even some relatives are trolling me that i'm on a midlife crisis due that i still play video games. I have my job, i live on my own but gaming is my hobby. I only play video games when i'm off work and during the weekend and it's a stress reliever. And finally midlife crisis is a myth so how i can convince my parents and relatives that i enjoy my gaming hobby and refusing to act like a boring old fart.
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>>18280089
Why are you gaming? You live alone? Late thirties?
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Video games are fucking awesome dude. Tell them you love to play them because everyone is different and has their own hobbies.
Society frowns upon playing games due to a number of reasons, but that doesn't make it any less of a hobby and possible passion. Who gives a shit what people think, do what you love my man
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Why do they even care for something you do (probably) in your time alone???
Next tell them that you also still masturbate, just to weird them out and make them stop being so nosy
>t. 29 and playing hard
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Okay.
I met a girl online, she's the complete opposite of me, and she's WAY younger than me. She works out everyday, eats healthy, is in college.
I'm a hungry skeleton (5'11" 130lbs), did drugs for 6 years, my face has deteriorated and sunken in from my lack of activity and shitty food.
She shows a persistent interest that is utterly undeniable. I'm substantially older than her, so it's most likely the fact that she's inexperienced. But no matter what bad shit I've told her about me, it doesn't change. She wants to meet, but I've got a strong feeling once she sees me in person, it'll be entirely different.
Not sure what I should do..
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>>18280082
>I'm a hungry skeleton
>She shows a persistent interest that is utterly undeniable.
>Not sure what I should do..
BONE HER!
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>>18280082
Age, yours and hers
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>>18280352
I'm 26, she's 19. I didn't come onto her at any point. She just made it abundantly clear that she was into me. I told her so many times that this age deficit is big enough to be an issue. We've watched movies together on Skype many many times. The way she reacts and speaks makes the age difference clear as day.
Anonymous
should I go to community college with my girlfriend 2017-05-02 08:18:05 Post No.18280078
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should I go to community college with my girlfriend 2017-05-02 08:18:05 Post No.18280078
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should I go to community college with my girlfriend
Anonymous
2017-05-02 08:18:05
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I got accepted to three 4 year colleges, and one community college. I want to go to the community college my girlfriend has been attending for the past semester. should I go for it?
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>>18280078
bump
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>>18280078
it doesnt matter where you start college, it only matters where you finish. getting your AA at a CC and transfering to a 4year afterwards is fine, AND it will typically save you a lot of money in tuition
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No you moron, the degree remains with you for your entire life, your girlfriend not.
Wait till Chad's arrives in his new fancy car and you'll lost her, and you'll have lost the degree too.
"I've never seen anyone without women cause he was getting money, but I've seen lots of guys without money cause they were trying to get women"
MOB-Money over bitches
carry those quotes for life