Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2959. page

>>38250206
>Explain why Helen chose Paris
The same way as women chose Casanova.

>doesn't give a fuck about Helen

Gee, I wonder why she didn't like him. All women want to be #1.

>>38250302
b-but Roosh told me that the way to a woman's heart is to treat her like shit and don't care for her

>>38250197
Yeah, friend. I'm the same.

>>38250197
same here.
but started closing the door at around 16.

>Be 6
>Leave pants in fear of the dreaded rape monster known as pogo
>Be 19
>Leave pants off in hope of rape monster pogo

Does anyone else like toast or am i dslix?

>>38250183
>Not attracted to 90% of girls, the thought of kissing a girl I don't like makes me vomit
>social outcast with only very few male friends whom I barely see

That's pretty much it

intimacy is the one thing I refuse to give up on

>>38250183
>give up
No, i avoid it because i have extreme fear of intimacy.

>I'm OP and I'm a faggot

>>38250181
>when you are so utterly btfo that you immediately resort to ad hominem

>>38250172
>thinking dating asian women is a privilege
lol. Asian men should date asian women. White men should just fuck them.

phat booty bitches

>>38250170
I enjoy being around my family, but the longer I spend around them I start to realize they'll never be able to empathize with me beyond the fact that I'm related to them. They pay me compliments but I doubt they'd care if I wasn't blood.

No, not really. I have given up on trying to fit in. I spend time with my family few times a year but I do not enjoy socializing.

>Stay like this for another minute or two
>She smells exactly like when we used to date
>Had this vanilla and lavender essential oil
>It's a really cute moment
>My body has other plans
>Boner.exe
>Feel it starting to grow, don't want her to feel it as well
>Platonic, remember?
>Ask if she still has her record player
>Go back to her room to put on a Grateful Dead album
>She has a hammock hung up above her bed
>She sets it up for me and I lie in that while she lies below me on her bed
>Just chill for a bit, talking and get through 4 or 5 songs before I get bored of the Dead ask if I can put in Is This It
>Don't feel like getting back in the hammock so I sit down on the bed and she sits up
>We're both sitting against the wall maybe two feet apart
>Ask if she still smokes ever
>She does, she has a gram in her closet
>The Strokes are prime smoke music
>Both take 2-3 hits, not roasted just kinda vibing
>Go through the whole album, then Lift Your Skinny Fists, then some random other songs just chatting and looking through some artsy magazines she has
>It's called Frankie I'm pretty sure
>Would take another hit every 30-40 minutes to maintain the high
>Her house phone starts ringing
>Her parents say they're leaving now and should be home in about 4.5-5 hours
>They were visiting friends half a state away for 3 days
>Asks me what time I have to leave
>It's 3:30 now, I'm meeting my family to go out to dinner and then watch the fireworks at 8
>I can just stay til 7:30, be gone by the time they get back
>The original plan was to just chill for two or three hours, but I've been here since eleven already
>She asks if I'm getting bored
>Says we can go do something else
>Tell her no, I'm really enjoying just listening to music
>Me and her have the exact same taste in music
>Outside of her I've only had one other friend I could talk about/ listen to music with and haven't spoken to them much since we graduated.
>Feels really good to just show each other new songs we've found

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>After putting on a new song she comes back and rather than sit down beside me (the gap had closed) she lies down and puts her head resting on the side of my leg
>By this point I'm sure we both still like each other
>Still don't wanna make a move because I figure it'd just bring back up feelings, and I still don't wanna do long distance
>I grab a pillow and put it between her head and my leg
>She looks up at me and smiles and says thanks
>Get tired of music and put on Netflix
>Watching some cheesy D-List movie
>Well barely watching, mostly just talking with the occasional pause to laugh at how bad the movie is
>It's like 5 now
>Tired of sitting up I grab another pillow and put it beside hers and lay down beside her
>Closer than normal for platonic I suppose but not quite cuddling, no contact
>Realize I probably won't see her again until next Spring at the earliest if we do wanna keep in touch
>She goes every winter to Australia to visit the rest of her family over Christmas
>Fuck it
>I haven't touched a girl since we broke up
>Wrap my arm around her and sorta rub her arm
>The movies over by this point but we don't feel like putting on another one
>She wraps her legs around my leg
>ThisIsNotPlatonic.png
>I'd rather regret being romantic and bringing up old feelings now rather than regret not and continuing my two years of solitude.
>We talk for a while like this
>We don't talk like this for a while, just cuddling in silence
>I could always tell when she was feeling frisky
>She gets really quite and starts breathing deeper
>Now or never
>Lean in and kiss her
>She tangles her fingers in my hair and pulls me in closer
>Kisses me back
>Grab her hips
>She rolls on top of me
>Forgot how good making out feels
>Return of the Erection
>She starts grinding on me
>Jesus Christ I missed this
>My hands under her shirt on her breasts
>Pulls back after ~10 minutes
>Asks if I have any condoms
>CVS you beautiful saint how I love thee

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>We had fucked when we dated before but it had always been rushed
>Like one of our parents were gonna be home in 20 minutes or we were alone in our bedroom but had to keep the bed from squeaking
>We have the house alone for 2 more hours
>Best sex of my life
>Put every other time to shame
>Go through the 3 pack and make a quick run to the convenience store 3-4 mins from her house to buy some more
>6 times in a day, new personal record
>Finally time to go
>We agree to keep in touch
>Fast forward 2 days, I'm back at my apartment
>We had been talking pretty much non-stop since the 4th
>I remember she's going to college
>Can't believe I forgot to ask her about that
>Ask her where she ended up going to college
>Other college like 30 minutes (driving) from my college
>"Oh shit, really?"
>"Yeah why?"
>"You know that's right near my college right?"
>"Wait oh yeah you go to college in (name of my town). I forgot where you went"
>She's moving in to a place 6-7 miles from me
>Neither of us have a car but I can public transportation/ walk there in like an hour
>We make plans and she's coming up to my apartment to spend a week from the 11th to the 17th.
>Literally on cloud nine since then
>TFW no longer TFW no gf

Idk it gets old. I was just cuddling with my qt lesbian friend that I have a close platonic relationship with. She took up the whole fucking bed and passed out on my chest, so I just got up and went to lay down in another room.

Cuddling is overrated/10

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>>38250142
My pillow doesnt cuddle me back

>>38250142

I'm 49 and kissless virgin, and yet don't know how does it feel.

wtf

>>38250126
left would be a freak in the bed
right would lie there like a dead fish

>>38250126
shit thread
original post

>>38250126
>"actually innocent"

right one is the right one

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why didn'y you greet your drandmother, cunt?

We're not interested in your $0 chink watches

>economy

I thought you said you had 50k neet bux saved up?

Might as well spend money for a decent seat, no?

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maintaining a buzz all day takes a fucking lot of effort. i don't see how the alckys do it.

>>38250088
>Red
Fucking degenerate, Drink a real man's whiskey like black or gold maybe a bit of jack.

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>>38250088
I swig on this all day, usually a half bottle a day.

>discord
>minecraft
I really wish normies and children would leave /r9k/ forever.

>>38249867
>invite expired
Why does this always happen?

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POST ANOTHER LINK

>>38249792
Yeah, it's very illegal and you can go to jail for over 20 years. Not fun. And it's not like there's no work involved. You should just get a normal job.

>>38249817
if i get caught I can just take a lethal dose of nembutal that i bought a while ago

>>38249792
Odds of becoming a rich drug dealer are insanely low. According to the FBI only 0.2% of all drug trafficking cases reach million dollar status. Keep in mind 3% of all Americans are millionAires. Look up continuing criminal enterprise

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>>38249732
s h a m e l e s s s e l f b u m p t h a t i s o r i g i n a l

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>>38249732
Originally giving this a final bumperino

Yeah I do this. Too tired to learn how to Cook something so I just don't eat.

>>38249647
stop posting this garbage

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>>38249695
Byzalora

Windows 11

>>38249589
is this an example of that?

oh shit, another arbitrary rule
glad I stopped giving a fuck in 2010

Jokes on you, my shirt is black and pants are dark grey.