Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2164. page

Therapy
Get exercise and eat right-junk food makes you feel shittier
Volunteer so you are out of your own thoughts and can think of others.
Build yourself up everyday but finding at least one thing you like about yourself or are grateful for. Also, tell yourself the opposite every time you think something negative. Every time you see yourself in the mirror think about how handsome you are and not how ugly.
Good luck anon.
It's scary to change your life, but worth it on the other side.

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>>18130482
>Therapy
I can't. I can't just go there and look like a fucking loser telling the therapist about my problems.

>Get exercise and eat right-junk food makes you feel shittier

I recently started exercising, feels kinda good. I still get the urges to eat sweets. Also I don't look bad, that doesn't seem to be the problem.

>Build yourself up everyday but finding at least one thing you like about yourself or are grateful for. Also, tell yourself the opposite every time you think something negative. Every time you see yourself in the mirror think about how handsome you are and not how ugly.

I try. But everytime I'm convinced that I look amazing I realize that it's impossible. If I looked good I wouldn't be such a fucking failure.

Honestly. Keep at it. Keep believing and seeing yourself just as you are. Ive been doing the same, in solitude to boot and ive got to say im completely bored of the whole process. You tell yourself you are ugly or a failure long enough. You dont make an attempt to change long enough you will hit that moment where the motions are so repetitive. You get tired of feeling that way, hell you get tired of dreaming about the fantasies where you arent. Anyways, that boredom will fuel your need to feel something else. Be something else. Your emotions can be a roller coaster but, if youre paying attention to them your anger and self hatred will get extremely predictable. Once that happens...well youll catch yourself working out to feel something else, youll look in a mirror and not feel so self conscious because you have arrived at not giving a shit about it. Know yourself motherfucker, pay attention and really absorb your thoughts. See that pattern of your ideas and im telling you, things will change. Because youll be tired of being exactly the same.

>>18130443
>i dont even know if i make sense.
Not a lot, but I was able to understand most of what you wrote.

Are you content with being a joke to her, or are you going to be a man and ask her out? That's up to you.

>>18130477
Ok i got the balls. Now tell me what the do ? Do your scenario.

>>18130481
If you have to be told what to do you don't have the balls.

>>18130429
One clarification.. is the actual work illegal or are you just getting paid under the table?

Richard Dawkins looks great in a dress.

>>18130429

outside of the generic broad strokes, which is essentially just 'negotiate' and 'get leverage' nothing. negotiation is about creating your own specific tactic. imagine if someone said 'how do i beat someone up?' the answer can involve broad strokes like 'hit him where it hurts' but you need to figure out how to act and react on your own.

example,
>air conditioner breaks
>our landlord says its our job to replace it
>the contract intended this (commercial, office space)
>however there are some loopholes in my favor
>now in court it would be a 50/50 chance of losing
>however the contract also says that in the case of a dispute we'd each pay our own legal fees
>so the best leverage i can get is to claim we have a lawyer for a client working for free

this gives us leverage, because it means that he'd lose money even if he won the case, whereas we would not.

on top of that the implication is that we have a REAL case, as our lawyer has no reason to lie to us, no money to gain, whereas his does, and claiming they can win still means money even if they lose.

because of that we've talked him up to 50% of repair costs, and were going to have him at 75% if not a full 100 once our lawyer writes up a letter.

>>18130388

Talk to her? We are not going to tell you word for word what to say, dude. Just talk to her.

>>18130388
Wow, I didn't know it was possible to get that lucky.

>>18130405
He never really had a chance, she probably gave him a fake number.

>>18130358
Um you guys weren't dating she didn't do really anything that should affect your view of her so grow up maybe?

First of all, are you sure the information is true? And if it is, are you sure it hasn't been exaggerated?

This incident might be considered a red flag, simply because a person who makes out with four guys in one night is probably not that invested in the idea of a long-term, exclusive relationship.

However, she didn't cheat on you and you should keep that in mind. Flirting is not a relationship, and just because you made your intentions clear doesn't mean that she reciprocated them at the time.

It was probably a drunken night of mistakes, which she didn't want to mention to you because nobody likes to say "hey, by the way I once participated in an anonymous orgy" to their current SO. But I wouldn't worry about it. Seems like your pride is hurt more than anything.

Yeah, I know it's inmature. So how do I stop feeling this fucking bad? I know my pride Is hurt, so how do I heal it?

>>18130355

There are millions of people in the world, so yeah, there are some tall girls that like short guys.

>>18130368
Yay

Yes there are. But to date one, or a girl of any height for that matter, you need to stop being so insecure about your height. Nobody finds insecurity attractive.

You'll find that girls, no matter their own height, don't actually care about a guy's height.

1214

>>18130359
No

We're not going to do your 8th grade homework for you, Billy.

>>18130349

Please, tell me you are too young to be on this board. I won't be mad, but this is teenager shit right here.

yes it is teenager shit , but i am confused af

>>18130371

Then leave this board. The last thing you need in your teenage years is 30-something assholes bitching about girls.

>What kind of negative effects should I expect?
Anal leakage/loss of stool and inability to hold in the urge to shit.

Do you sincerely not know what the sphincter is for?

Anyway yeah it can happen if you damage your ass too much with huge dildos, no lube etc. I don't think there's a clear cut step by step plan, though, probably also depends on your age and how good your genetics are whether or not your body can bounce back.

There are muscles there, that's how your butt closes you're asking if they can be prevented from ever clenching again. I'm not sure if they can but you would have to cause quite severe muscle damage if it's possible. That'd be painful, impact your ability to clench down to expell waste, prevent you from stopping any waste coming out at a given time, smell horribly, and probably be a significant chance for infection/chafing considering that it's meant to stay slightly moist on the inside.

The muscles can be surgically removed and are in the event of particularly severe hemorrhages. But that would, as my doctor put it, be an absolute last resort option since it'd mean you have to carry a colonoscopy bag around you for the rest of your life.

In addition to having a bag for your shit strapped to your waist while you're out, you might be in for an unpleasant smell which repels other people, being mocked, belittled, and isolated by people who find out.

And there's always the chance of abuse by hospital staff or another caretaker when you're older one day and reliant on them to change your bag of shit. Not that long ago some teens were in the news for refusing to change them for patients in the hospital (nursing home?) they worked at, mocking him, smearing his own shit on him, recording it, and laughing at him all the while as he cried.

>>18130332
>>18130321

I wasn't expecting all this. Is it possible to instead make it loose enough that inserting huge objects only requires small amounts of lube and pretty easy?

Where is the line between being able to take huge insertions and getting all or too many of the problems above?

Out of curiosity, where do you live?

Stop thinking too much about this.

Get out and meet more people, not all the time, like every few weeks. Whether it's a sport or hobby. I took up scuba diving and went on a holiday with one of the shops. Given it was a lot of older folks due the time of year, retirees, its was an awesome time. Had job prospects (company owners on the trip), you should come by and meet my daughter after the trip, and met other people/women also on vacation.

go volunteer somewhere. the hospital is a good start. always looking for people and you can practice socializing and charming people. easy

Make you the best version, every day

>>18130301
Eastern Europe, don't want to be specific
>>18130302
I'm not a very outgoing person per se, i'm the kind of person who's quiet if 50% of the people around me in a situation are strangers

Are you imagining anywhere else is going to be different? Because it mostly isn't.

>>18130288
Definitely, why would you want to work in an environment that treats you like shit? Like >>18130297
says it's going to be similar in most places, but just because something is difficult is no reason to give up on it. Follow your tendency to liberation and self realization. Otherwise you'll end up either wanting to kill yourself, addicted to something to make the pain go away, or totally enlightened.

Consider, how hard is your job? Does it cause long term problems to your health? How does it fit into your other goals in life? Can you work to change the conditions of your employment, perhaps through unionizing or disruptively performing your job?

I'm writing from personal experience by the way. I saved up a ton of money working before I realized that my job was mentally killing me and left shortly thereafter.

>>18130288
>Convince me not to leave my £8-an-hour-moving-boxes job.
You should fuck that off sharpish mate. You're right about the nonces in suits, they wouldn't know a good days graft if it bit them on the ass, but you can be certain they're not pitching up for £64 a day like you are.

If you want to make decent money I'd say go and work for an independant tradesman. In a company of a thousand blokes, all the money goes to the top five men. If the entire company consists of two blokes in a transit the distribution is a lot more even. As an example, I'm a carpet cleaner (I do all types of flooring, upholstery, blinds and curtains, but it just says "Anon's carpet cleaning" on the side of my van). Today, I did three sofas and a chair on the first job, a hall stairs and landing on the second, and two staircases, four rooms and six rugs on the last. Todays takings came to £530+VAT, of which my young lad (who does nothing cleverer than fetch, carry, and drive my van sometimes) gets £150 same as every other day he works and the rest is mine. We started at 8:30, and I dropped him at his flat at about 2:45 when we finished. You won't get that working for a company where the directors drive bentley's.

>>18130227
I don't really have any experience with this sort of thing so my word might not be the best, but B sounds like your best bet.
I would say to do that because staying with her because you feel sorry for her is doing nothing for either of you. If anything, it's selfish because you are doing it just so you won't feel like a bad person. I won't lie, it will hit her like a sledgehammer, but at least she will know what's up. Maybe this experience will change her and realize that she needs to adopt a new outlook on life. But I would advocate for direct communication nonetheless so both of you know where to go from there.

>>18130299

Thank you for your advice! I will think about it, this sound about right once I have made up my mind, which is still not the case. But maybe I can start by expressing my doubts

unless you or your family somehow depend on a good relationship between you two, go for option B, it will burn down all bridges, but any breakup does that. People who know her though will think very badly of you for breaking up with her, when she is ill, but that's just because of their romance bullshit

I'm on the other end of a situation like this. My gf is always in a emotional wreck about something. It's become very draining dating her. Feels like I'm in relationship with a child. Best would prolly be to talk to him, tell him how you feel. If you're not happy and a emotional burden then chances are he's not happy either.

>dude gets demoted to friendzone for not providing the tingles

You don't need advice for anything, because you're not doing anything of value. Send us his closest homeboy so we can advise that dude on helping your ex line up his next lay.

>I'm a wreck and he seems to think he can fix it with cold answers and by telling me to not be upset
That not good enough for you? What do you expect him to do? Get into your mind and magically erase your mental mess?
I can tell you you won't be happy with the next guy either.

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Bump

>>18130150
I don't know about other countries, but in the US, it's customary to give 2 weeks notice, preferably in writing. Be sure you tell them your last day of work in your letter.

>>18130277
Is an email ok or is that unprofessional?

>>18130144
>Can someone critique my study routine?
you study too much

i usually start studying 2 days before an exam, and i'm currently getting my masters in CS (no, not the shitty SE kind of CS degree, real CS)
and after the 2 semester usually no one shows up for lectures when theres no compulsory attendance

>>18130156
I'm currently in an ivy league, so I had the impression I had to start studying a lot when I'm in

fuck I wish I was like you anon