Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2155. page

>>18133173

Probably a combination of both. Things have always been shitty and get periodically shittier, but you're getting more aware of it. That's sorta what growing up is about.

Objectively, the world is a better place to live than it has ever been by almost every metric. It's just that your subjective experience of the world has changed. A significant factor in it is probably that your earliest points of reference are from an existence that included neither significant responsibilities or awareness of the world.

>>18133205

kinda this. the thing about being young is that you were sheltered. in high school you were just expected to do some work and play some video games. sure it had its down sides, but compared to understanding the reality of life, it was pretty cozy.

still, i wouldnt go back, i find adult life to be far superior in almost every way.

regardless OP, life is the best its ever been you're just seeing challenges as reasons to be sad. a lot of the stuff we worry about doesn't really matter. we get over it without the problem being fixed, so the real pain comes from obsessing.

It's better than giving up on life and wasting it away, I guess.

You should be focused on finding activities you enjoy and try to have those activities be something you can do with other people.

>>18133151
>Is this actually accurate?
no
>I found it in an image collection from 4chan's olden (golden?) days
I'm pretty old and I don't remember it.

>>18133151
Never get a job as tech support. Phone-based jobs are known to be some of the most shitty jobs in existence and suicide rates are high among employees.

>>18133136
points for Homestuck but sounds like a mess so here's a bump

>>18133142
I don't understand this at all

>>18133144
Thanks

>>18133112

you just talk. and if you struggle to find something new to say, thats when you end it with asking her on a date.

that simple.

>>18133129
This is where I am awful: what date? where do we go? how do I ask?

>>18133112
I'd kill to be in your situation. No girl has ever talked to me.

>>18133093

>is it worth pursuing a military career if i have an extreme fear of flying?

it is if you wish to get over your fear of flying.

>are there any ways to get a job where i wont have to fly?

pure and simple chance, but the odds are stacked against you.

Depends on what kind of a military your country is running. If you have a non-zero chance of getting deployed overseas (i.e. your country is a major NATO member), for instance, then it might be somewhat harder to avoid it.

The military in my country is strictly a defensive force, and I never even saw anything that could fly up close when I was in the army.

>>18133093
You could join the navy, unless you a also have a fear of boats.

>>18133056
>How can I fix this?
Show up to school with flowers and apologize to her.

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>i tried to be funny while making a rape face
>i didnt want to make a bad impression by simply saying 'hi'

You can fix it by not posting the same FAKE AND GAY thread every single FUCKING day MOTHER FUCKER

You're probably too nice and trying too hard. You have to talk to girls like you would anyone else and be bold in your opinions and shit. If you're too agreeable girls think you're weak. And also, be more touchy and upfront.

When you keep your cool and speak your mind girls will follow, you have to appear to be a leader. You need to get to the top of the dominance heiarchy.

>>18133048

first and foremost, realize that romance is not the default state. the problem isn't that you're getting friendzoned, its that the girls you hit on dont like you.

this is generally indicative of girls being too hot for you. it happens a lot. guys, not necessarilly bad looking guys, tend to hit on hot chicks only, and a sa result end up hitting on chicks who are clearly too good for them, but they can't see that.

right now you're kind of like a fat chick who insists that shes good looking because all of her platonic friends say she is.

actually attractive men rarely ever hear that they are attractive. women dont go around saying 'WOW YOU'RE SO HOT I WANT TO STICK MY GIRL PENIS IN YOUR MAN VAGINA'.

hot men know they're hot because they get the girls they pursue. thats pretty much the only indication of your actual level of attractiveness.

ergo if girls across the board are rejecting you its not because you're 'making wrong decisions when ti comes to flirting'

girls are not saying 'WOW YOU'RE SO ATTRACTIVE AND WED TOTALLY BE DATING IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FACT THAT YOU FLIRTED 2% SLOWER THAN CHAD'.

think about it.

>>18133048

Basically what he said >>18133058
You have to be more direct, also give us some examples of your flirting, so we can answer it better. Do you do it via text or in person?

Different people find different styles attractive, obviously. You need to find fashion inspiration in people that YOU find fashionable. When you see a girl and think "Wow she is dressed really nicely" what is she wearing? There are tons of fashion blogs and resources on the internet where you can pull inspiration from.

Buy what you like and put it on.

Wear what you want.

I would at this point just come out and tell her how you know that he's cheating. It's too weird for me to both set him up for it and then if everything works out have to pretend that you had nothing to do with it. Weird foundation for a relationship. I think most people would want to hear it if their partner was cheating, wouldn't you? Seems kind of obnoxious to me to decide that you know what's best for them in such a personal matter, and rob them of the chance to judge it themselves and make an estimated choice.

>>18132976
>>18132976
The problem is that she wont even question him on it out of fear of finding the truth. I agree its a strange foundation for relationship but i dont have any alternative ideas

>>18132985
Then what do you hope to accomplish with catfishing, forcing her to look at evidence? Be prepared that if she's this invested in not learning the truth, she might also be way too ready to accept all of his excuses and mind games.

I wouldn't really entrust this to some random stranger. What if they're someone sadistic who just gets a kick out of fucking everything up and telling him someone ordered them to do this and that. Or come up with something different/even worse.
And it would become downright creepy to me to do it yourself. So that's another thing.

Maybe you should just accept that she's in too deep now...

What city are you in?

I'd say you text casually, and find out what she likes, and see if you have any common interests. I reccommend writing down anything of note happening in her life, so you can ask/talk about it later, showing that you actually care. A little bit of knowledge about her will help a lot with conversation on your first date. Hope it goes well!

Depends. Are you witty, are you a good conversationalist over text? (Can you convey enthusiasm or flirting through texts, do you ask the kind of questions that give her a good opening for a response/train of thought, give little bits of insight in your life/mind) If so, go for it, give it a try and see if she's eager to respond. If not, just leave it until you see each other in person, just make sure you're still on the night beforehand and say you're looking forward to it or something.

If you're awkward with this stuff, try it in real life. There's too high a possibility of misunderstanding with the lack of body language, tone, facial expressions etc. Use smileys especially if you do something like playful/flirty banter. That stuff just doesn't translate well to short dry text. People look down on them but sometimes you have to be crude to get the vibe across if so much crucial info is missing already.

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>>18132963
bump?

>>18132963
Make sure you know what you're actually getting into. Computer Science isn't Information Technology. It's a lot more theoretical, and involves a lot of mathematics; your hobbies are only tangentially related. I don't study CS myself, but it's pretty common to see folks who get into it because their hobbies include rigging their PCs with liquid cooling for maximum FPS only to discover that it isn't at all what they expected and lose interest.

I'm not trying to scare you off of it, but I don't have any easy anwsers, either. Deciding what you want to do with your life is honestly a lot to ask from someone of your age. I ended up majoring in something completely different from what I had planned in high school.

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>>18133259
thank you very much, knowing this helps alot , what would you recommend? not saying I'd pick it but you recommended it but it would help narrow down what to research

>>18132939
Get in a fight with the guy and kick his ass. Then she'll see you as the true alpha and suck your dick in front of everyone.

>>18132956
>Get in a fight with the guy and kick his ass.

This. You're a beta male who deserves no pussy if you don't.

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>>18132956
>>18132960
this

i feel you. i live in a small town of about 2500 after moving out of the city and leaving the 4-5 friends i had behind. everyone here is shallow, and uninteresting and all they talk about is football (american) and drinking beer. some of the most unintelligent people i've ever met. i try and make time for my friends but it only makes me fall behind in school even more than i already am and at this point i could care less about my education im just so depressed i feel like nothing really matters anymore. im on 3 medication for mental disorders and all i do anymore is have sex and smoke weed. my life is so empty and meaningless. i have no advice for you. just telling you you're not alone. you seem like an intelligent guy, you'll find someone eventually.

funny how these self proclamed smart asses suffer under their extremely low social intelligence

Be confident in yourself. Act the way you are and don't worry so much about what other people think. Friendship is all about mutual trust, and feeling confident that your friends really do like you, just as you like them. Try to meet and get to know as many people as possible, and stick with those you get a real sense of relationship with. Try to invite them places and spend time with them outside of regular activities. The use of your time just to be with someone really means a lot, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. Remember to just be confident and real. Good luck, Anon!

OP you're never gonna lose your V card so you don't need to worry

>>18132923
You don't ejaculate? Keep going until you do. It's a core biological function.

>>18132973
No but I go limp when I use lube, and i've never been able to cum from using it. I tried a few times.

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>>18132914
I have been on Citalopram (10mg then 20mg I think), then Prozac (Fluoxetine - 20mg I think)

I think I was on C for maybe 4 or 5 months, then P for maybe 4 or 5 months. This was three years ago. I haven't taken any since.

Perhaps I should have, but I couldn't be fucked. I don't like SSRIs. They are not nice. They make you feel artificially happy. I don't like that. I want to be in control of myself and have genuine thoughts and emotions. Otherwise I can't relate to people properly. I don't want to be some fucking charity case.

Maybe in the future, if I'm working some stressful job, and I have a family, and I just need to get through some tough time, I might take them again... heavy emphasis on "might". I will do everything I can to not take them.

Here's some reasons why I have lost faith in how doctors diagnose SSRIs these days:

1) SSRIs won't fix your life problems.
2) For the vast majority of people, depression is caused by your life circumstances. Sure, some people inherit a small genetic disposition to getting depressed; but every instance of depression is still ultimately brought about by life events. If you feel you have to be on SSRIs then fine, I'm not going to say you shouldn't, it's up to you. It's not the only option though.
3) The "brain chemistry" argument is the most infuriatingly stupid thing I've ever heard. Every emotion you experience is instantiated in "brain chemistry". Excitement is adrenaline. Happiness is dopamine. The reason "brain chemistry" is stupid is because it's not offering an explanation of what is causing that brain chemistry; it deliberately fobs off the question. For most people, your life experiences are causing your depression. Physical head injuries can cause people to be more irritable and depressed, but most people who get depressed haven't had a head injury.

(Contd...)

>>18133065
This guy is right.
I took Zoloft for two years and also Xanax and klonopin. I could go on a long spill but I'm not. Just take my word and agree that they are pretty shitty. This is also the problem I have with mental health. Three different docs give you three different diagnosis, it's bullshit.

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>>18132914
>>18133065
Ah I was going to continue my rant but actually I want to see if you respond first.

Here's a couple of things I want to make you aware of though.

Here's an article of a clinical psychologist stressing that people are being over-diagnosed with mental illnesses these days, for what are actually normal emotions (pic related is of this article):
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20986796

And here's a TV show where a doctor decides to treat someone with mild depression by getting them to take up swimming. Instead of prescribing them with drugs:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07w52tp

To be fair your things (OCD, bipolar, major depression) sound pretty serious. So you probably should talk to a doctor. They sound more serious than what doctors talked to me about (anxiety and depression).

But yeah. I dunno. There's some of my thoughts on the subject.