Hey anons,
I'm visiting a friend at his university tomorrow for the weekend.
Does anyone have any tips on partying at a different university where you only know one person? Tips on how to pick up girls in this situation?
I think I am fairly attractive because I've been to parties where girls just smile at me and I smile back and they come up to me and start grinding on me or tell me how "cute" or "handsome" I am. Honestly, I haven't had to work too hard for girls, so I'm not sure if I really have "game," so maybe could use some advice on that
Also, if it makes a difference, I am partying at Harvard, but I go to another top Ivy as well.
>>18131289
I only attended two parties in uni, and at the second I whipped a chubby woman with a belt, tore a slab of flesh off her inner thigh and threatened to take off her head.
The obvious answer is to be more sober than everyone else, is what I'm saying.
>>18131306
w-wtf did anon mean by this
>>18131289
Picking up a chick there would be interesting for the first few days. But after awhile, you'll just feel inferior when she's both smarter and richer than you. Unless of course you come from somewhere of equal or close standard like Stanford, MIT or Columbia, just to name a few.
Hey there /adv/. I graduated college back in August and I have been traveling since then. I saved up a bunch of money during unĂ and I've pretty much burned through all of it. I was always unsure about what I wanted to do but I have always had a deep love for history, I have a masters in American history with a concentration in Racial history. >inb4 humanities degrees are worthless
It's the only thing that interested me and I'm a pretty decent historian.
I guess I've been avoiding "adulthood" by traveling. I'm 26 and I don't really have a plan. I am coming back to the states in may and I'm planning to get certified to teach, but I don't even know if that's what I want to do. I have very low self confidence and I lack work ethic. What do I need to do to get my shit together. Something that's also hanging over my head is a misdemeanor possession chsrge for weed, which is a disorderly persons. I feel like I'm running away from responsibility. I'm intelligent and I'm not socially always, i just need to be more confident and optimistic about my future.
I'm slightly like you. I graduated in 2013 and have worked at two places since then. I left my last job in January and am now considering further studies. You are born in 91 right?
I totally understand the lack of confidence. How about motivation? Is that low too? You should stick to what you plan to do. Even at your lowest point, I find having a target and something to achieve helps keep you going.
>> YES my motivation is low. I just feel like I love what I studied but it's not practical. I just want to be happy, I want to provide for my younger brothers and mother. It's overwhelming, I want to stop feeling I'm running away and face everything, get my shit together.
Have you tried applying for jobs in the field you like, history? I'm not sure about that industry so I can't say if it's hard or easy there.
You can also look into continuing your studies in that field. If I'm not mistaken there's more openings for historians in academia. That could be your career path.
Do you really need to provide for your siblings now? Or can you put it aside while you continue your education so you have better prospects after? These are the questions you need to ask.
Do you also smoke weed regularly? As harmless and fun as it can be, there is also a negative side to it. I used to smoke up frequently and found it has affected my motivation. It could be the same for you too. Maybe put it off till you sort your shit out.
>look up literally any person I consider successful and accomplished in any field
>said person has physicians as parents
>went into Ivy-league school immediately after graduating high school
I'm fucked, aren't I?
Years critical to developing my brain capacity has passed, I am permanently behind. To hell with money (beyond true poverty), a good upbringing is what's truly decisive. I was never stimulated or challenged as a child and had nobody to look up to. I had no idea what to do after graduating and here I am failing an engineering degree and lacking basic life skills...
I'll try to put a constructive spin on this thread: if you know of any examples to the contrary, of people achieving greatness, not just material but intellectual, after years of mediocracy, please share.
>>18131263
i'm just going to throw myself in this "achieving greatness" category because i reached my goal and dreams as a professional artist. i work at a billionaire tech company and it's pretty damn cushy.
my parents were too busy fighting with each other about money to give a shit about their kids beyond feeding them and making sure they go to school. we were always lacking in finance. both parents discouraged me from pursuing art and went so far as to eliminate any blank papers in the house, so i had nothing but my lined papers and the back of notes. even my art teachers would shake their heads at me. i was a loser and had no friends but i just kept drawing my stupid anime shits, meanwhile trying to pursue an english degree because i was no good at anything else.
one day i decided not to listen to anyone but myself anymore and i went out and done what everyone told me was near impossible. at 18 years old after failing to get into the college i wanted twice, i improved my artwork tenfold in a single year and got into that college i wanted so badly. also got my current job right after grad.
i'm pretty damn happy with myself and have little sympathy for people who think success is only possible if they've been spoon-fed with the resources. especially after seeing how the rich kids who got into my college because of daddy's dime is now "soul searching" in europe (again with their parents' credit card) with zero skills acquired.
>>18131263
to be fair I'm pretty sure you're still fully capable of learning and becoming "more intelligent"
If you're lacking life skills, learn them. Experience life. If you are failing at your engineering degree but you actually WANT it then you need to study and put in the work. You want to know how those super successful people got into yale/harvard/mit? Sure, many of them probably had an above average IQ and were considered intelligent, but I assure you that they put in work. I go to caltech for computer engineering and I assure you all of the bright individuals I've met here put in an unbelievable amount of work. You are at the same spot I was in when I first entered uni.
I thought I didn't deserve to be there, I didn't have a great upbringing (very bad actually) and I thought a big reason I got in was due to luck and my essay on why I should get in. Eventually I worked out, went on a proper diet, learned how to socialize, got out of my comfort zone and studied a shit ton. Trust me, you're more than capable of achieving great things, but you need to work for it.
This is going to sound like a cop-out, but my experience overrules it. I have authority when I say this.
The absolute truth in the world is that you don't want to be "successful"
Not only have I been "successful", but every person I've rubbed shoulders with along the way, from the bottom to the top, is absolutely miserable. Curiously, the ones at the top are the most miserable.
I grew up ridiculously poor with parents who forced me down a path, but I have a diehard will and worked my way up in the songwriting business instead. I have made enough money to where I could have anything I want, and could spend money however I wanted without even thinking about it. It changes nothing. By that I mean, you feel exactly the same as you do when you're trying to get there. So all you're left with is way, way, way more responsibility, more people who want to manipulate you, but you are still the exact same person. This will make you insane.
I wish I could hand you my experiences, but since all I can do is tell you:
Coming away from "success" you realize that chasing anything, and I mean anything, is a complete waste of time. So what is the purpose? What do you do then? This was thoroughly answered for me through prayer. It may sound nutty, but it's true.
If you can find the truth, you will see right through all of this "success" stuff and find true freedom and joy. Success is just a longer way to spell slavery.
Hey there, so on Saturday night I ate maybe a fourth to a third of a pot brownie, got really high and it was a pretty good night. Fast forward, I got a call from a place that I was not expecting to get an internship from. Like it was out of nowhere and they offered me a job. Thing is, they are asking me to do a hair follicle drug test. Now, that was my first hit of weed in 3-4 months and I am not a regular smoker or anything and I am worried I may fail this test for a big opportunity that has opened up for me. I can schedule the test within this and next week, should I worry? Should I just take my chances and do it tomorrow? Any advice for me here? I am kind of freaking out. Thank you.
>>18131252
Well, you're going to fail so just cut your losses and look for another internship.
>>18131252
I don't really know how the hair test works. Do they call you in a pull a hair off your head or do you have to send one in?
If you have to send one in, couldn't you just find an old hair from a hairbrush from when you used to not be on drugs and use that?
>>18131260
They will almost definitely want a hair that they can verify is yours.
Where can I find the Kurt Cobain to my shotgun?
>>18131240
Don't you mean the other way round?
>>18131240
sauce on that comic. or is it a cartoon
>>18131426
It's from a comic they made on /d/
I had a rollercoaster relationship with a girl that I suspect has BPD. Long story short, the relationship ended in November and she moved on quite quickly, Im feeling a lot better at this point, but the other day I came across a letter and a painting she sent me the first time we had a major breakup in July. It was a sweet letter about her realizing she "needed me" in her life and how much of a wonderful person I am. Reading it was pretty shitty because In November i went from being her best friend to her telling me to "move the fuck on and get the fuck over it" which I pretty much did. I know I can just throw it away, but I'd rather just send it back. Is it because I want a reaction? Not really. She'll probably just throw it away, but I just don't want to keep it, and maybe I just want her to look at her words and the painting and think about how hollow those words were. My friends are half half in terms of advice, some say send it others say forget it, what do you think /adv/
>>18131238
Pic not related haha
Sending it back screams out 'I'm petty and not over you at all'
. Send it back if you want to look desperate.
She's moved on already, she'll just think 'wtf oh man this guy' when she recieves ur letter back. Obviously it's got no monetary value so the only reason you'd send the letter back is in an attempt to get some kind of reaction out of her.
>>18131253
Well, saying she moved on means she just found some other dude to distract her. She can't be in a relationship, she just can't manage it. I guess it may seem petty, but i won't engage if she tries to say something, this is literally me washing my hands of it. But I take your point. I did say I was sending it back in November, she said throw it away.
Went to wife's ultrasound appointment today (18 weeks). Got a call from the doctor asking her to come in two weeks for follow-up ultrasound. Wife is freaking out that something's wrong with the baby.
Got the doctor on the phone. She said that she couldn't get a clear image of the nasal development and that's one of their flags for down's.
How worried should I be? Is this common? First pregnancy, on edge.
>>18131231
ask your doctor.
>>18131231
deny paternity
worrying doesnt solve anything
your wife needs someone with a cool head who she can rely on
am I supposed to tell people this or am I socially dumb?
I told a male coworker/friend i've been getting lunch and hanging out with with that I could only be his friend and wasn't looking for anything. He looked really sad and said ok. I think he really liked me. But I never flirted with him and just treated him like my other friends.
I didn't want him to ask me out and that's why I told him that. Am I not supposed to tell people this? I feel like it saves time and energy, because sometimes guys think I like them when I just wanted to be friends. but I'm not the best with social things so I'm not sure?
>>18131219
unfortunately there is no culture-wide agreement on any rules. there is no happy magic answer to each problem, and a lot of the time to get what you want you need to take away what other people want, and that often comes with neither party getting what they want.
thats all fine though.
the best way you could go about this without lowering yourself to outright lying about your status is to simply bring up a boy you're into in conversation. as a general rule, if they still stick around after that, its their own fault.
many girls simply lie or find a way to say 'i just dont feel like dating right now' the same way gay guys ALWAYS seem to find a way to bring up the fact that they're gay within the first 5 minutes of meeting them.
>>18131219
i think you done him a favor and everything else he tries to pull on you is going to be his own fault from now on, so long as you're consistent on your position to be purely friends.
good job op, need more girls to do this shit. i'm straight up like this with guys all the time, and managed to make actual platonic friendships with them respecting my boundaries this way. i even help them with getting other chicks.
better than to string him along and have him develop deeper feelings for you.
>>18131226
Hmm. I will try bringing it up. The last time I tried it (I brought up the person I was crushing on a lot with the last 'friend') that 'friend' turned out to be a major creep who thought I'd change my mind. He was telling people we were dating. i don't talk to that guy anymore. Maybe he was just a huge creep though, and most guys will get the hint if I talk about my crush.
>>18131232
Thanks, I felt that i would want to know this too. I guess some people aren't emotionally strong for this but it's better than him falling harder for me and me stringing him along
My LDR bf of 2 years is no longer sexually attracted to me. He says he sees me more like a daughter/sister but wants to have a romantic platonic relationship. I'm in shock, obviously hurt and self conscious now. Has this happened to anyone? I don't want to have a relationship without sex but I don't want to stop talking to him. If i ask if he thinks he'll ever be attracted to me again he says "maybe in the future" and last night he had a sex dream about me? So is he lying to not hurt my feelings and let me down easy? He also says that sexual thoughts and seeing me naked feels "wrong" Should i stop talking to my bf and just move on? Is it possible to make someone re-attracted to you? He swears that it has nothing to do with my body/face/any changes etc. Is it just a lost cause? Has anyone had anything similar happen to them?
>>18131218
similar thing happened to me, had much more to do with the emotional side than her actual attraction. are you overbearing?
>>18131218
He's probably just a dick. It's his way of saying he wants to fuck other chicks while in a LDR. I say block and get an IRL boyfriend, or just enjoy being single for a bit.
>>18131218
LDR rarely work. Just break up and find a guy near you.
>My girlfriend has been dropping hints that she is a ring size "5 or 6"
>I'm think I'm ready to propose...
What size should I get her and how much am I looking at spending?
>>18131204
>she hints that she is a ring size 5 or 6
>what size should i get her?
a 5 or a 6
>how much am i looking at spending?
26 thousand is the average.
>>18131216
Wait, what? 26k?
I thought average was like 3k.
(Not op)
>>18131204
Spend 2-3k at most. Don't finance it if you can avoid it. Don't fall for the huge diamond meme (think quality, not just carat size) and make sure to pick something that's becoming of her.
If you're feeling bold, just ask her to get her ring sizing done. Otherwise get 5 or a 5.5 and resize it later if need be.
So like a week or so ago I saw a girl that another location of my store was interviewing. I thought she was really cute and we had a nonverbal moment with each other but I got pulled into a conversation and didn't approach her.
Today I was at the mall and saw her working. I didn't put it together that it was her until later on. I pass by the place all the time (jewelry store)
I don't exactly have a reason to go into the store, but it's pretty open so approaching her would be easy.
Would it be awkward and creepy for me to approach her when they have down time and say "Hey were you interviewing at x? How'd it go?"
>>18131186
>"Hey were you interviewing at x? How'd it go?"
Dont do that, because that's too intrusive. You might get away with it if she's really attracted to you, but she doesnt know you and that sounds like what a friend would ask.
Do something like
>"Hey I saw you at my store, where you there for an interview?"
>"Yeah"
>"How did it go?"
and go from there.
>>18131202
I don't see how either one is different. I was planning on:
"Hey correct me if I'm wrong but we're you interviewing at X like a week ago?"
>>18131365
that and what you first said sound too presumptious.
say what anon said in first reply
>your dream career
>why
>what have you done to works towards it
>what can you improve on/ any questions you may have
and others offer advice or feedback
>certified massage therapist for a female sports team
>why the fuck do you think (also good money and its relaxing)
>taking classes, doing an internship this summer
>not much else I guess
currently working at a target to help pay the bills and hate it more and more with each day
>>18131246
Nigga you dumb. Just cause you get to touch the women doesn't mean you're gonna bang them. You'll probably just be the creep who gives great massages and goes home sexually frustrated and hides a raging boner all day, because why is athletic woman who plays presumably a professional sport going to pick you over Chad Thundercock.
You didn't think this all the way through.
>>18131179
>Sports broadcasting/production
>Why? It's fun as fuck. News is mind numbingly boring. It's always the same thing. Nothing to ever switch it up unless something is breaking live.
>Spent 4 years in college and joined a club for it. Club turned into a sports arena gig, which turned into minor league baseball, which turned into ESPN3.
Considering going to grad school now to have the chance to work for more networks in a school that's in a better conference/market
Future is looking bright yo
my situations pretty shit right now and I need advice on whether or not to do a (potentially shitty) thing
>sister is 22 this year
>since she was 13 has been getting involved with drugs and gangs
>my entire teenage years were ruined by her being a dickhead and my mum having to deal with all of it meant I was alone nearly all the time
>developed severe depression and anxiety and tried to kill myself a lot
>she's dating a drug dealer now, he's potentially going to jail as he's recently been arrested
>she dropped out of high school
>no job
>not even trying to get one
>has been given opportunities to study (for free once a week) and better herself
>she agreed but never went to class
>basically an all round degenerate with no hope
>she gets worse and worse with every year that passes
>she also has anger issues and becomes very violent and nearly got us kicked out and homeless
>insults my mum about her disability and mental health
>mum is too scared/tired to do anything about it anymore since she's basically tried everything.
Everything hurts and I don't know what to do.
I've been thinking a lot about going to the police about her for two reasons:
- it will get her out of our lives at least temporarily
- it's the only thing that will make her wake up
But I don't know if I could live with myself knowing I did that, especially since I would have to do it anonymously.
Please tell me what you would do in my situation.
Beat her.
>>18131153
Anyway to convince your mom to cut her off?
>>18131195
She won't cut her of personally (I've tried to tell her to) but if you mean financially that's not really an issue. I live in Australia so my sister gets benefits to live off since we're pretty poor so my mum doesn't have control over that other than we live in a house together and my mum and I pay the rent.
How can i do? I can't move out from my bedroom
Hang on
You can't leave your bedroom?
Or you can't move out from your parent's place?
>>18131133
Look up homemade smoking devices on youtube or google and it will show you dozens of easy smoking pipes to make. If you dont have papers and want to smoke a j still, use bible paper.
>>18131133
do the warrior (place ground up weed in your palm, make a fist, then apply flame and inhale)
Would it be weird to try and get your first date, like, in your life, on Tinder?
Don't worry about that anon.
WE TAKE THOSE.
>>18131132
I found my first date at the market.
>>18131132
No. It's a perfectly valid dating service.