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Anonymous
Complicated situation 2017-03-15 05:27:20 Post No. 18130227
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Complicated situation 2017-03-15 05:27:20 Post No. 18130227
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Hello people,
I want to tell you my situation with my girlfriend, to see if you can give me some good insight.
We are both argentinians living in Germany, we came here in the year 2013. I am studying and she looked for a job, which she didn't find until 18 months after having arrived.
In Argentina she used to have a good job and she also misses her family and friends a lot. She has suffered a lot not having a job, and was complaining about not liking the country a lot.
To complicate everything more, she has been diagnosed with breast cancer, for which she has to follow a chemotherapy. Before the diagnosis I was thinking of dumping her if she didn' t show a more positive attitude towards our life here.
Now she is following the therapy and we are sort of ok, but I still think that the relationship is going nowhere and that she would be happier in Argentina (and I don't want to come back).
Then I am considering the following situations:
A- Wait until the therapy is over and then have a talk about the future (saying that I want to stay here, which will probably cause a break up).
B- Somehow talk about the situation now, which kind of sucks because she HAS to stay here for the therapy, until July. If we break up the situation will be very bad for her.
C- Wait until time after the therapy has passed, to see if she finds a job or how she behaves without health issues.
Any kind of insight will be appreciated!
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>>18130227
I don't really have any experience with this sort of thing so my word might not be the best, but B sounds like your best bet.
I would say to do that because staying with her because you feel sorry for her is doing nothing for either of you. If anything, it's selfish because you are doing it just so you won't feel like a bad person. I won't lie, it will hit her like a sledgehammer, but at least she will know what's up. Maybe this experience will change her and realize that she needs to adopt a new outlook on life. But I would advocate for direct communication nonetheless so both of you know where to go from there.
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>>18130299
Thank you for your advice! I will think about it, this sound about right once I have made up my mind, which is still not the case. But maybe I can start by expressing my doubts
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unless you or your family somehow depend on a good relationship between you two, go for option B, it will burn down all bridges, but any breakup does that. People who know her though will think very badly of you for breaking up with her, when she is ill, but that's just because of their romance bullshit
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>>18130500
I'm not neccecaeily saying break up, just tell her how you feel and work through it, breaking up would be a side effect of not being able to get through it
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>>18130227
If you are even considering B, you are a piece of shit. Have some empathy, for Chrissake, wait till she can take it. Now she needs all her strength to fight with the poisons they are injecting into her. After her therapy is over, say you have decided to stay, and see if she wants to stay with you, or break up. So I vote A. C is worse since she would not know where you stand until some unspecified time when you "see how she behaves", but B is the option only for absolute shit people.
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