Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3135. page

>>17839584
Hey OP! Biology student in Japan, a semester off from graduation. I hang out with ALTs (English teachers), so I have a few suggestions to questions one and two.

1. To teach English, the best thing you can apply for is the JET (Japanese English teacher). You'll have to look at the Japanese embassy in your country for details. The pay is good, and you get a one-year contract. The downsides is that you may end up in a place that's even more rural than where not are now. Also, teaching English as an ALT has no future in itself.

2. Academia. Japan offers a 1-2 semester non-graduating programme for students interested in research where you come here and work with a professor of your choice. If you like it, you have the opportunity to pursue grad school here. This is what I did. First you need to find a professor you are interested in, and see if they are willing to host you; then you contact the relevant uni and ask about funding opportunities and the application procedure.

The way I see it, you could come here to teach English, and then spend your free time actually meeting professors you are interested in working with, so that when your one-year contract is up, you have something lined up.

>>17839650
Thanks for the advice. I actually got rejected from JET this last cycle (American), so that's why I was looking into the certification route to avoid waiting another year for JET. Is JET really leaps and bounds better than finding work at an eikaiwa or private school teaching English?

As for the research program, that's surprising news to me. Is there a formal name for the program? In this vein, I looked into MEXT, but I'm not sure I am good enough at Japanese/biochemistry to beat out the competition. Thanks again.

>>17839670
JET provides a level of job and legal security that most other places don't. But if you have a very clear idea of how short a stay you want, then it doesn't make too much of a difference. There was a problem that came up in Hokkaido, where I am, last year, when the biggest non-JET contractor lost their contract with the state. They transferred everyone to a second company, and it turned out that that company didn't have a contract to begin with. It was a huge mess.

The name that is used for students in the program is 研究生 (Kenkyuusei, research student). I'm assuming that you are at the grad-school entry level so Japanese only depends on which professor you choose. The MEXT also provides a semester of intensive Japanese before you start with the actual course. And as to how good you are, there are multiple factors there. One, you are published. Two, it depends on the professor and the lab. Three - unless you are specifically looking at Tokyo university or the other top 5 Japanese unis - there isn't as much competition as you'd think, and Japan wants to increase the number of foreign students. Finally, the question isn't 'am I better than the competition?' but 'am I better than the competition in the area I'm interested in?'

>>17839579
>It there any way for me to actually fight this?

Get your head out of your ass. If you can't d it alone, go to therapy. There's no shame in asking for professional help.

And before you say "it's 2016, they'll tell me to chop my dick off", try going to a shrink before telling us how they work.

Well you could start looking at trap/shemale porn to gain more of an appreciation for your dick

>>17839587
But they will. They don't try to cure this anymore because it's current year, shit hurts man

>>17839545

You are 19. Most guys your age feel the same. Relax, you'll survive.

>>17839545
Work out, make friends, and have fun. That is all you have to do.

Of course, it's by no means easy (I would argue it is exceedingly difficult to truly pull through,) but what you must do is very straightforward.

>>17839545
Dude relax your 19 you'd be surprised how many people are like you at that age, I'm 23 and lost it like 5 months ago just get out there

Girls,

19yr old black male, 5ft 5in (167cm) and slim 132 lbs (60kgs); How can I tell the difference between polite and friendly behaviour (smile) vs some 'flirtatious interest'?

I'm asexual, so probably won't want to have sex with a girl and vice versa, but I wouldn't mind intimacy.

I know women who smile on the street are trying to be friendly and there's nothing more to it but there was a Moroccan girl at the airport this year on my trip back from Nice, France who randomly chatted me. I thought she was just being polite but she did seem to get 'flirty', and she even thought that I looked 15yrs old. Obviously most women want older men. Not looking too much into that but what do you think?

>either gender
After a break up should I trash reminders of the person? Long story short I just went through a break up and the only real reminder I have of the person is a gift they gave me. Part of me feels like keeping it just keeps them in my head and keeps me from getting over them. But on the other hand the memories attached to it are pretty special.

>>17839499
>>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
>Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
yes it is. girls treat me like shit. they think they can walk over me, get their little fuckboi to stand up for them, laugh their stupid little laugh at me etc. atleast guys aren't total slutty sell out, picky entitled bitches when they're being asses. who made this bread?

>>17839411
>isolation from society and a food supply
Jail/prison.

>>17839413
>public debt
>greater good

For profit prisons are bullshit.

>>17839413
won't they rape me there if I drop the soap?

So I e-mailed her Friday as we agreed (lesson was on wednesday) and it went like this.

>Hi X!,
> Hope all is well! Just wanted to check if you are free this weekend? If so, when would you prefer?
>Also found out that the japanese film Your Name is on at 3:10 pm Saturday if you would prefer to meet there than the restaurant


Her:

>Hi x
>Thanks for your email. Unfortunately I am not able to come tomorrow since I have work to do. But we can still meet next semester right? Wish you a happy holiday!
>Kind Regards X

Me:

>Hi X
>Oh alright, I am guessing you arent able to make sunday either? If not thats fine.
>Ya I would be up for meeting next semester! Would you rather I contact via email or text?
>best regards XXX

Her:
>Sunday is a little bit of a rush for me, so maybe next semester. Email is better at the moment. I will let you know when I get my phone fixed

Me:
>No problem. Have a great holiday and cya next semester!


So how bad is it /adv/? She actually mentioned a few times in the latter lessons maybe we could meet up during lunch as we work in the same place.

Whats the deal /adv/? Did I mess it up? Did I come on too strong? We had mentioned eating out a number of times and was kicking myself over mentioning the cinema.

Please help.

>>17839342
show pic of your face and tell me your in come and height and I can answer you no problem

Just a few other points, we also talked about our chinese signs, her being a dragon and me a snake. We had good fun over that.

Also that she is going back to China to be with her family on the 16th and coming back next year.

>there is nothing I would like more than to create some new technology that can truly benefit people.

Honestly it sounds like you want Engineering.

>>17839279
How often do you work with your fellow students on studying these things?

Could you maybe talk to us about what your strategies are? What are you working on right now? What's something you want to try out?

I'm a community college flunkie, so I won't give the best advice, but maybe I can help you talk it out anon. It sounds like you've been going at this all on your own. I want to get back in the game, anyways. So I want to know what you've done to get as far as you have in the first place.

>>17839287
>Honestly it sounds like you want Engineering.
Actually I specifically don't want to go into engineering, based on what I've heard and more importantly what I've observed. Whereas engineers *use* technology to solve well-defined problems, applied physicists are the ones who invent or innovate said technologies (generally). Being an engineer, to me, is nothing more than a glorified wageslave on par with being an accountant. I'm not interested in designing a turbine og electrical network or processing plant. I want to create new and revolutionary things.

>How often do you work with your fellow students on studying these things?
I've specifically befriended the smartest people in my course, people who have been in contact with world-renowned physicists and might well win a nobel prize some day, and even then, even when being able to learn from these people I still fall short. As far as learning strategies go I've bought "The straight A student" book by Cal Newport and the "Study hero guide" and while they have been extremely useful in some courses, most of the higher level physics classes I've been taking have just been too hard conceptually to understand. Maybe if I had much, much more time but when they're racing through 50-100 pages of nuclear physics a week I just can't keep up.

File: teatime.gif (594KB, 239x270px) Image search: [Google]

594KB, 239x270px

you guys get tea hitler too

jew here. look at the wiki article titled "who is a jew." seriously.

Jewish identity is complicated.

speak to the rabbi at your local temple they will be happy to talk to you. and by the way Jews speak frankly about this kind of stuff and other matters of faith. it's okay to question your rabbi and Judaism in general. it's not like Christianity in that regard at all.

>>17839266
Well according to Hitler you'd go into the ovens even if you had no idea your grandparents were Jewish and even if you had been a lifelong Christian that wouldn't save you. That was a pretty common fate in Germany, lots of Christians with one Jewish grandparent were killed in the Holocaust.

Pretty shit, eh?

>I noticed this was all happening a few days ago so I've changed my password. The hacker shouldn't be able to get into my account any longer
>I read up on amazon's terms and policy. If I read it right, amazon doesn't usually initiate legal action. Instead they support the party that was scammed if that party decides to take legal action. However I don't know how well that applies to my case since I will be now in debt to amazon assuming they issue out refunds to the customers

>>17839157
You face no legal obligatories technically.
The hacker had control of your account when this had happened

As long as you have evidence that this occured (as likely as you do) then there should be no problems

>>17839173
I don't necessarily have evidence that I did or didn't do it.
I'm not letting the court go through my computer history.

I did access my amazon account from my home ip address though. I'm scared that I'll be liable because I could have prevented this from happening technically. Still I think i'm going to go all the way. I read that amazon will just charge my card at the next billing cycle for my negative balance. At that point it'll be a bank issue and if I withdraw the cash before then, this should be a loan

Girl here. She will react badly. She just will. Dunno what it is about women. I don't post this kind of shit on social media, but chances are, she will have some sjw shit to say, and you just have to grow up and deal with it. Like where you draw the line between "slutty" and normal isn't where she draws the line, and if she really does love the attention on social media, let her. The beta orbiters will post the same comments if it's just a picture of her face. If this helps, try to imagine going to the beach with her. Will you tell her not to wear a bikini just because other men might see her and think she is sexy?

OP I can tell by the picture you chose for this thread that you are taking this way too cynically.

>>17839218
Another thing I'll say as a girl, is that women's bodies are sexy, and we can't do a whole lot about it. I have a big ass. No matter how much I work out and eat right, it's always there. So if I wear anything, even a skirt down to my knees, people are going to notice. Now, I get that you say she is posing "provocatively," and I'm sure she is, but it's not about who she is trying to please. She feels good wearing those things and doing those things. Picture yourself dating a supermodel- she feels like the online version of that. If Heidi Klum wants to pose provocatively for Sports Illustrated, she isn't trying to look good for anyone but herself, and Seal got to go around and say "hey my wife is super hot and you can't have her." So let it make you feel good too. Sorry for all the sjw shit, but she will say the same things if you tell her to stop posting the pictures.

>>17839085
you will never stop caring
why do you think so many men are self destructive in so many ways?

>>17839085
You will always crave sex and female companionship because it's hardwired into your brain
However you can realize that even tho the amount of men who remain virgins is negligible loosing your virginity doesn't mean you get to have sex twice and doing it twice doesn't mean you ever get a girlfriend and so on
Chances are that wathever your ideal of romantically satisfied is less and less men are able to fulfill it every year so you aren't exactly the only man out there dealing with this bullshit
How can this help you? Well it can't but at least you now you aren't so much a failure as society is failing everyone

>>17839099
I'm fairly sure I'm going to be among that negligible number. I don't want much romantically either, just a girl I get along with and can cuddle with. I think I must have aspergers or schizoid or something, I just can't do this stuff.

>>17839033
He's gotta be at least well off as I am, as far as education, finances or whatever. Like my current boyfriend doesn't have a job right now but he's in law school, so, okay. But this doesn't really factor into attraction as much as considering a long term relationship with him. I've been attracted to losers before.

The other thing is, having a personality that meshes with mine, having similar values, etc.

And then there's looks. I don't have anything specific I'm looking for in that regard.

Don't give a fuck how many languages he can speak. Or what specifically he does for a living

Not an asshole, that's what I look for.

>>17839104
Asshole = ugly or poor

>>17838112
I'm going to assume you're /fit/ and take good care of yourself, there is no reason you should settle for anything less in a partner.
Either she improves or you dump her if it's important enough to you.
If she refuses to improve and you're left with only the option to bail, consider yourself lucky that she started to let herself go relatively early in the relationship, so you didn't end up wasting five or even ten years of your life before realizing she's a slob.

I know a girl that was a little chubby before she got with her bf. A year later she is a hamplanet. Do you want to be with a hamplanet OP? If not, then I suggest putting your foot down and leave if she doesnt comply. I know I wouldnt want to be with a sack of shit for my golden years.

>>17838112
Put pressure on her, stop her self destructive ways as long as there is still hope.

Speaking from experience i just didn't bother unmatching. Its probably the same case for her.

>>17837854
>millennial women are sociopathic, vapid, entitled things
News at 11.

>>17837861
I'm sorry, but that's just absurd.

The extent of the "bother" you'd have to go through to undo the match is literally two taps with a finger.
Seems worth the effort to me (assuming the goal really is to move on and forget), when the alternative is to have the profile picture of a person you once loved and cared for pop up every time you bring up the match list.

i'm in therapy since 2 years now. yeah, it helped. first i got medication, which helped me over the biggest hurdles. wwnt to therapy alongside and then got off the medication and continued the therapy. it's not something that will transform your life and get you mentally healthy just by attending it. but i feel like it helps me a lot to habe the opportunity to talk to someone who knows a lot about me but there are no social consequences to telling her about my shortcomings, . i also get practical help and just knowing that i have an appointment in a few days might help me get trough a rough time. i know i can unload somewhere soon.

>>17837659
I'm in therapy as well and yes it has helped a lot. I've had to work on setting my limits (my family didn't like it, of course, but hey I'm trying!) and to improve my self esteem.

You just gotta be open about yourself and let yourself be guided by the therapist.

>>17837670
>>17837675

Thanks for sharing, anons. I know I shouldn't go into it expecting some magic to happen and for things to start instantly going right, but I have some problems with my personal relationships right now that I just can't handle on my own.

How long do you feel it took before you felt a positive effect from therapy?

I'm also wondering -- how long did it take for you to really trust your therapist?