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What do I bring over for a housewarming gift? My friends bought a massive house and they are incredibly well off.
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Bring a potted plant
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>>17841678
Poo-Pourri.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY
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>>17841678
Give the gift of rape.
I have Phimosis, what do?
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Go see a doctor if they can make a surgery, a friend of mine had a surgery a few years back (we're both 21 now, he did it when he was 19). And while he's single like... always. He can at least have sex with a girl if he'd like to. (he's very shy tho).
TL;DR: Go see a doctor, senpai. It's no biggie. And you'll thank him later.
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>>17841690
Damn idk man, it's pretty weird too.
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>>17841690
Do I have to get circumcised? I mean is it a must?
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Why are my dreams so vivid , /adv/? I wake up disturbed by how clear my dreams are .
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why wouldn't they be?
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>>17841643
superior brain chemistry
have you done a lot of drugs?
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>>17841643
thats bc youre starting to dream lucidly, as months pass the vividness will become normal to you
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How do I become girlfriend-able?
I learn as much as I can about literature/music/philosophy/science/etc, try to form my own opinions, try to be funny and interesting
But I just don't know how to be interesting. I'm just dull. I'm not naturally funny or witty or original in any way.
Physically I do the best I can with my face and body. I look the best I can.
How do I get someone to have feelings for me?
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>>17841630
Average looks are not good enough.
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>>17841630
I posted this on /soc/ and it made a great thread. I'll repost it for you:
WHAT DO YOU BRING TO A RELATIONSHIP?
There are a ton of threads about what you want in a relationship. Let's give it a twist: what can you offer to others? Why should people date you?
>ASL
>5 things you can offer to a potential couple
>Why people should date you?
(forget the ASL, but do give me an answer to the rest)
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>>17841630
im a dude, and for a while when i entered college i tought i had the same problem, i really tried my best to fit in i lost a lot of weight changed my clothes, and i learned as much as i could about things normal people talk about
But that didn't work at all, i realized that everything felt fake, luckily i found an old friends that was always good to me in highschool,she is into all the stuff im into, and whenever i see her i know that i can just be myself and talk with her for hours
it might be hard and i hate to say it but just be yourself and if people don't like you that way, then find other people, there's hgotta be something that can appreciate you
but well, if you want to try with normies, just remember looks are eveything, it doesn't matter if your personality is shit or if you are foring, for a normie if you look good you will be gf material
i don't know maybe post a picture so we can see how you look
Anonymous
First time with a guy: advice? 2016-12-10 05:26:34 Post No.17841623
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First time with a guy: advice? 2016-12-10 05:26:34 Post No.17841623
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First time with a guy: advice?
Anonymous
2016-12-10 05:26:34
Post No. 17841623
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Hello /adv/. I'm a 25 year old bi female who has only ever been with women. I think I finally found a guy to experiment with, hoping to make this happen in the next few days.
Any tips for my first time with a guy?
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>>17841623
>25 year old female dick virgin
just don't say anything
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I've known him for a while, and he already knows I've been girls-only.
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When it says, on various packaged foods such as I don't know, a bag of chips or some sort of seeds or whatever really "May contain traces of gluten, soy, etc." do these things actually contain the gluten or is it basically just some general warning they have to put on everything, like how the stuff that comes with pills lists pretty much every sickness humanity has ever experienced?
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>>17841603
Kill yourself you fucking cuck
Only a bearded nu-male beta would care about shit like this
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>>17841606
Or someone with coeliac disease you fucking waste of oxygen.
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>>17841610
kill yourself you fucking cuck
only a numale beta cuck would have meme diseases
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Hello /adv/, this is a story about love that's already over, i just need some clearance because it was my first relationship. Sorry for the long post
This girl stumbled into my world and we clicked almost instantly even with having 9 years of difference (me the older) and almost nothing in common in taste in music, art or whatsoever. We talked day and nights for 3 months and confessed how we were attracted to each others. We shared our fears and joys, we bonded so fucking well that we could read our minds and predict our thoughts. It was intense and I loved it, I couldn't get enough of it. First time in my life I felt happy for real.
First time we saw each others, we fucked. I am a virgin so I dunno what to do and just played around with her and she liked it, wet like a river. All of a sudden, she stops me and covers her eyes in fear. She's scared of something and says she can't do it and wants to go home. I don't pressure her because I don't want to look like a jerk and just call it a day and go back home.
We still talk for the days after but her feelings changed from day to night, she doesn't like me anymore. I'm in ruins. My mind is a wreck, I'm an emotional wreck and feel like I'm annoying her because I keep asking for explenations without recieving a clear one. So I just get depressed, cry for months and then decide to let her go by ignoring her.
I saw her after a month (i still see her from time to time because we have common friends and places) and told her sorry for running away without explaining but she just shrugged and said she didn't care.
I felt disappointed, I thought we had something, I was hoping her to hug me or tell me "it's ok, don't worry, I understand". But no, I got nothing at all. Not even the slightest smile of relief or a look of anger. It made me lose complete interest in her as a person, I almost despise her, I don't recognise her anymore.
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>cont
A week ago I sent her a funny picture because I dunno, I still do care for her and still want to remain friends. She laughed but the conversation was short and bland.
The morning after she sent me a funny picture but, as I always do, don't laugh and again the conversation is short and bland.
My thought about this are biased and that's why I need clearance.
I think she still feels something for me, but she's scared because we're so different. She hides her feelings from her friends and always acts joyous and kind of annoying and she looks extremely nervous, but when we're alone, she's calm and we don't really need to speak to each others.
What do you think?
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>>17841549
in my years of experience no you are being let down easy you got played like a chump
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>>17841556
Care to explain? What do you mean?
Anonymous
Siblings as roommates 2016-12-10 04:04:00 Post No.17841488
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Siblings as roommates 2016-12-10 04:04:00 Post No.17841488
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Right, I got a younger sister who's looking to move to my part of the country, and our folks asked me to house her for a few months until she gets her own place. This isn't a trick, none of them mean to make me live with her all the time, they just genuinely asked me to help out and I agreed, since I get along well with my sister.
Now, the thing is, I'm a single guy, so I'm gonna have to adjust my way of being about the place, bathroom stuff - the whole nine yards. Not an issue and don't mind it, it's really just a convenient way to make me tidy up the place.
But I know there's going to be a ton of stuff that I'm overlooking in preparation for this, so I'm just here to ask for advice on what anyone here might suggest I look out for.
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>>17841488
How old is she and do you want to fuck her
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>>17841488
She's gonna bring home guys if that's something you wouldn't be prepared for .
Other then that, just live your life as you would have otherwise, she has to be the one doing the adjustments.
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>>17841492
She's younger than me and no. Piss off.
>>17841499
>She's gonna bring home guys if that's something you wouldn't be prepared for .
See, this is something I completely overlooked.
No idea what to do about it though. Can't rightly tell her to never bring anyone over, seeing as I will be doing that myself. But then again, I have no wish to hear my sister fucking some guy.
Maybe when I'm out of the house? I don't know.
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I've been invited to a birthday party today for my 5 year old cousin. I recently had a baby (he's 6 weeks old) and I would have to bring him to the party with me (no sitter, and he is strictly breast fed).
The thing is, I HATE letting anyone hold him. I usually won't let it happen unless it's someone I trust and I'm very close to. I can easily say no to just about anyone. But, my mentally handicap cousin will be at this party, and she unfortunately loves babies. I know if I go to the party and bring my baby, she'll ask to hold him, and everyone will think I'm a monster when I tell her no. I don't know how to handle the situation. Do I just not go to the party and risk upsetting my cousins mother, or do I go and risk upsetting everyone when I tell my handicap cousin that she can't hold my baby?
Reasoning with them is almost completely out of the question. They aren't reasonable people.
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who the hell wants to go to some retarded 5 year old's party anyway? fuck that shit
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>>17841475
LEAVE YOUR BABIES LIFE UP TO THE RETARD GODS
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>>17841480
Sorry, I should have been more clear, my bad. The 5 year old isn't handicap, my handicap cousin will just be attending the party. She's 20
>>17841484
If I liked this baby just a little bit less than I do, then I'd do that.
Anonymous
What can I do to look better? 2016-12-10 03:33:30 Post No.17841436
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What can I do to look better? 2016-12-10 03:33:30 Post No.17841436
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What can I do to look better?
Anonymous
2016-12-10 03:33:30
Post No. 17841436
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Recently I've decided to get out of my weak ass and start training and lifting. At first, the goal was not even to look good - I just wanted to be healthier - but now I said "fuck it", and decided that I might as well take care of my whole appearance, with which the biggest concerns I've always had are my face and hair; I'm trying to fix that somewhat, and I was hoping you guys could spare some much welcome opinions and advice.
There are a couple things I feel really conscious about, chiefly the size of my eyelashes, the size of my head (which seems quite small, making short haircuts and bulkier outfits hard to pull off), the size and shape of my witch nose, my shitty, porous skin, and the size of my neck (which is quite large because I need to reach the leaves on higher branches), though this should get fixed with exercise and muscle; in general I just look disproportionate and ugly. I do realize that many of these are just problems with my bone structure which will never get fixed, but while I'm aware I'll probably never be the next miss universe, I still want to try and improve my situation a bit.
So yeah, how fucked am I guys? A-at least I have a chin, right?
Thanks in advance.
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>>17841436
You look good already my man
You need to make your insides look better now and it will show up in the mirror if u catch my Tokyo drift
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>>17841436
>
trim your brows.
Change your hair. IDK why this hitler jugend hair is so popular it looks pathetic
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>>17841436
>What can I do to look better?
Have you tried not being armenian?
I sometimes get REALLY bad headaches after eating breakfast/brunch, the food can be anything, even something as simple as oats with milk. I have no problems when eating dinner.
Does anyone know what could cause this? It doesnt happen all the time with the same food, and a doctor just sent me to do some bloodtests and then said everything looked OK. She could only suggest generic advice like "drink more water" which hasn't helped at all.
It's causing a huge problem when I get headaches so bad that I'm useless for at least the next hour after breakfast.
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>>17841425
>Does anyone know what could cause this?
YES! Specifically, a doctor would know what could cause this.
You should go see one.
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>>17841430
did you read the part of my post where i said that i went to a doctor and he didnt have any idea?
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>>17841447
*she
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I really fucked up and I need serious help but can't afford it, so here I am. Please help/advise me.
I have serious mood swings, one minute I'm really depressed and the next I can be straight up happy and manic. It's gotten to the point where I'm straight up reckless with my life.
I have just gambled away £1.6k and and am broke until the 23rd, what can I do about my mood swings + gambling addiction. I just want to be normal /adv/..
please help. i have nowhere to turn to.
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Got any family or friends to turn to? Maybe you need a therapist
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you really need to be on meds. if you dont know how to make this happen go to the ER and tell them you plan to kill yourself
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>>17841720
Neither and I can't afford therapy.
>>17841745
I'm not risking being admitted into the psyche ward or losing my job.
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https://youtu.be/UFheHDaNgVI?list=PLzuXKUSbV-70otU0WjPjj4aiGuAdn_N7y
Help guys
/mu/ are being dicks. so I am preparing a birthday gift for my qt grill and it requires that I learn to play this on guitar
yh yh I know shitty ass lame pop song (but she loves it) and I have only been playing the guitar for a week
on a scale of 1/10 how easy do you think it is to learn this?
the guy is horrible at explaining his procces or maybe I just dont know. please assure me.
will I fail this?
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>>17841387
So fucking gay kill yourself
Rethink your gift, she'll leave your ass Halfway through, now that's what I call an x-factor
Prob like a month or two if you've never played
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>>17841401
what the fuck nigger? two months?
you must be retared.
please some actuall help here
PS: she wouldnt leave me, she is not a Roastie
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>>17841413
Well if you're asking I imagine you haven't even tried do you must be just as dumb as me JERK!
If she likes that gay ass song she's definitely an Arbies ass bitch
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How do people have sex without emotions?
And how do people really do the FWB thing without wanting something special?
I wish I could do these things, but so far I just can't.
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>>17841306
Why do you wish you could
Some ppl just aren't made for that life
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>>17841321
i haven't had any luck with finding a relationship or love, but i still have sexual feelings
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>>17841306
>How do people have sex without emotions?
What's so complicated about it? I find a hot prostitute, dick gets up, fuck her, pay her and leave.
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no vent thread in here, so here it is. first let me bitch about my life and then i encourage you to do the same
>be me talking to qt boy
>really skinny and small dude
>hang out with qt boy a couple times
>smoke a bunch of dope
>things get heated
>decide to fuck
>anon takes his clothes off
>has the body of a developing 12 year old boy
>feel like a pedo in a way but say fuck it and start sucking him
>smallest child dick i've ever witnessed
>not even joking when i say it was as long as a middle finger and only slightly thicker
>felt like i was sucking a fucking finger
>felt grossed out like i was blowing a child
>mfw this dude is almost 19
>voice isn't deep either
>anyway, we tried to fuck and the dude couldn't get hard
>try for 15 min, dude still couldn't get hard
>we just end up stopping bc limp dick
i'm pretty grossed/cringed out overall by the entire situation. haven't talked to him over text yet since this happened
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>>17841265
Hilarious, are you gonna text him
Are you a girl or boy
How do you know he was 19
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>>17841276
waiting for him to text me. i'm a girl. and he's 18 right now almost 19 but his age is confirm because i've known him as a friend for awhile and he used his id to buy some cigs
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>>17841265
he's queer OP give up and find a man next time you want to get fucked. Big difference in the outcome