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I asked on /r9k/ first but they shunned me out so I'll ask here.
I've been in a relationship for 3 years, but my girlfriend said a while ago that she is developing a crush on her boss and that she doesn't want to hurt me but can't help her feelings.
I feel bad but also don't want to force her to stay with me if there is no love. Should I try to save the relationship? Or move away from her and try to forget?
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>>18141488
Holy fuck our generation is doomed. She has a crush on her boss? And what about you? I applaud you for thinking about her wants if she's not in love wit you anymore. But she sounds like a selfish person and only cares about the now. I'd say you're better off without her, but I understand how hard it can be to let go.
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>>18141488
It is over.
She basically told you that she loves her boss more than you. Be thankful you found out this way, cut contact and for the love of god, do not ever return to /r9k/ ever again.
And no, you cant force people to stay with you against their will. By doing so you are breaking laws and damaging both your and yours victim mental health.
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Thanks guys, I'll probably look for a job in a different city, that will force me to be away from her.
It was not all her fault, I was unemployed for a long time and I guess she hated when she was supporting me. But I understand
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Why is using all-in-one wash considered for "lesser" people?
Why is there so much hate for "fashion crates"?
Is fashion and narcissistic individuality such a defining point that people bully and shame others for non-crimminal actions?
What the hell?
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>>18141474
Because cultural elitism.
Yes, all in one is completely inferior and is worse for your skin and hair.
But you can feel like a tryhard asshole when you start listening to jazz and drinking scotch and taking your french press in to work because you refuse to drink their swill and only use products from mall stores and only certain ones for certain things.
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>>18141490
I also believe that working out is basic fucking hygeine and look down on people who do not do so regularly.
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Because it implies that you spend minimal money and effort on grooming yourself. Regular shampoo/conditioner etc isn't exactly a big expense and it costs half a minute extra to use two products. So it seems to cater to people who either are pathologically lazy or at their core think that washing/cleaning yourself is a waste of time they want to invest literally as little as possible in.
I am perfectly sure that this was an attempt at a tongue in cheek insult, though, because it's so mild.
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I recently picked up a job that requires that I commute in a car. Can I get a reasonably reliable used car for $6000 in the US? I don't need it to be fast, maneuverable, comfortable, or nice looking, I just need to make my daily commute. I expect the commute to be about 10 minutes once I move.
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>>18141448
Yes.
Try other options first though:
public transport
coleagues from same location
Owning car is big responcibility and costly. Take care. Google how to buy used cars and not get scammed.
>>>/o/
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>>18141448
Yes, honda or toyota.
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>>18141487
Public transport isn't an option. I'll ask around about the colleges thing. Maybe I'll start with a rental and move on to a permanent car if there's another option.
Thanks for the link and the advice.
>>18141504
Thanks for the model recommendations, I've heard good things about those.
How does this look? Any improvements I can make so far?
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You seem to want your readers to find your prose beautiful or even somewhat poetic. In order to achieve this, you don't want to overcrowd everything. You start out with a pretty romantic image (crackling fire, wind and the breathing of a loved one). It's much better to follow that up with her having fallen asleep around dusk than the whole sun falling out of the sky thing.
Think of a good painting. It's interesting to look at overall, but it's made up in a way that naturally diverts your attention towards a (usually) single focus. If the artist wanted you to look at everything at once, the whole would be much less powerful because nothing stands out anymore. Sticking to more neutral prose (which does NOT mean you have to make really short sentences and not use adverbs, you can be a genius writer and not resemble Hemingway) leaves you more power to dazzle the reader when you do want to.
Also, the repitition of crackling fire is annoying.
Is it supposed to be finished?
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Post it not sideways
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>>18141440
It's sideways.
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buying an engagement ring and could use some help
>asked her friend about what she might like, such as the band metal, the diamond cut, her size, etc
>i was way off, she wants something simple with maybe a few tiny stones embedded in the band, not the big rock on top
>i look around for engagement rings like this, none really fit her description
>ask jewelry store girl about it and she said it sounds like she wants a promise ring
>my budget for the ring was up to $3k
>most expensive promise ring is like $200
so should i get her a cheap as fuck ring that high schoolers give their girlfriends on valentines day? i feel like she'd be upset if i got something like that, even if that's what she told her friend what she wants
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>>18141428
If all she cares about is the price tag. She is not into you. If she wants a simple ring, get her a simple ring. Don't try to impress her with money.
Ps. Diamonds are a scam anyway.
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Try looking on etsy for designs. They're a lot cheaper but usually well made, and more interesting than standard designs.
And go for what she would like more than a specific price. Save the money for something more important.
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>>18141498
I should say that my husband and I got our wedding rings from Etsy. We love the designs and they have a more personal feel to them, along with not breaking the bank on overpriced diamonds.
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so i've been seeing this guy for the past few weeks and we decided to be official recently. he seems super into me, says/does sweet things etc. the last time we were together, we fooled around a little bit and while i enjoyed it at the time i got super anxious right after and kinda wordvomited all over him. i have some insecurities about my body from a previous relationship that i thought i had under control. he was nice about it, thanked me for opening up etc. but i still felt anxious because i figured my insecurity was a turnoff.
that happened friday, yesterday we texted like normal but today he's been silent apart from a good morning message late in the morning, which is unusual for him. well now my anxiety's dialed up to 11, though all i've sent him was a how are you text and an offhand comment about something else a couple hours later. also, my texts have been sending as sms instead of imessage even though i'm on wifi, so i'm wondering if it's something on his end. we're supposed to have a date tomorrow but hadn't figured out all the details yet. right now i feel like he's ghosting me, trying really hard not to freak out but i don't know what to do. from the outside it doesn't seem like a ghost but i've had guys do similar things to me before which also made me super insecure. idk help me
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anxiety and insecurity is unattractive, as is vomiting on a guy.
Try calling him to set up the date
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What exactly are the hangups you have about your body?
I think you're worrying over nothing at the moment. People don't spend all their time on their phones and chances are he just isn't nearby to his phone at the moment. Don't create problems before they're there. Just be patient and wait to see if he gets back to you by the end of the day.
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>>18141362
>>18141353
post body
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How to convince her that I think her bra size doesn't matter?
>inb4 32AA
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>>18141335
Just say you love delicious flat chests
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>>18141342
This
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You can't, unless you psychoanalyze her or something that's her neurosis.
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Sad guy post #96234
Yeah, it's one those.
I don't like my life at all. I thought, if I had to rate it from 1 to 10, i'd pick 2, and that small bit I like is myself imagining myself happy. I also realize that the things I imagine are just in my head and will never be true irl
I kinda want to ask for advice on how to be happy outside my own head, but I don't feel like there's anything I can do anymore besides hope that everything will magically change or till I actually lose touch with reality and my mind takes over
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no worries man. life is a joke. it short and you can do whatever you want, use your brain, dont be lazy and just live
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Your forefathers didn't die in wars so you could sit at home and be depressed. Take control of your life and grow a spine, man.
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>>18141352
I never asked my forefathers to have children which would have children which would have me
Maybe if they thought ahead I wouldn't be in this mess
Like I said, the problem is not that I don't think I can reach my dreams, it's that they are impossible in the purest sense. No amount of going outside and talking to people will ever fix it
Anonymous
Gf discovered they're trans 2017-03-19 06:39:31 Post No.18141318
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Gf discovered they're trans
Anonymous
2017-03-19 06:39:31
Post No. 18141318
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Hey /adv/. First time poster here.
So my ex confessed to me about a month ago that she discovered that she was a trans boy. After she confessed she started talking about getting top surgery and getting on testosterone pills and I ended up breaking up with her because it was too much for me to handle. I still love her (wants be called both pronouns) and I want to do all I can to support her in the process, so I ended up staying in her life as a friend.
But the thing is I still do love her, we have been together for 2 years and was convinced that she was the one, we would talk about the future, about marriage and even adoption. Anyway I was so committed to this person and it pains me to see it all just go *poof*
I don't know how long I can stay friends with her, I know she's going to be the first person to meet someone else, and I feel like I'm waiting to get my heart broken. I don't know if I'm going to ever feel platonically for this person, even now whenever we talk I just want them back in my arms. I want us to go back to who we were and I know that's not fair for her.
What would you guys do in my situation? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for taking your time to read this.
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>>18141318
you're gay, just be it's gay bf
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>>18141318
>>18141328
yea even after surgery she will still be a woman so you can fuck her in ass without being faggot
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>>18141318
>Bf discovered they're trans
Ftfy
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Do people get treated badly by strangers regularly, or is it just me?
I am a 25 year old woman, and I have noticed that, more often than not, I am treated badly by strangers within my age range. Usually other females.
I recently attended a conference, and I was really excited to meet people my age because I mostly work with older adults.
Almost every young adult I met was incredibly rude. I sat next to a woman my age and put all my stuff down for over 10 mins, until she demanded that I moved so all her friends could sit near her. This wasn't a "Hey, I really wanted to be near my friends, is it possible for you to scoot over a little?" She looked at me and said, "I need all these seats, so you'll have to move." then threw her book in front of me. I was debating on whether or not to take that from her, but since the seminar involved working in groups with each other, I didn't want to be next to this woman, so I just got up and left.
At another seminar, we had to get in groups, I looked around and saw a few other women my age, and I asked to join them. They hesitantly said yes. Then, someone else said they didn't have a group, so then I said I would go with her. As I walked away, one of the women in that group said, "Yea, hunny... buh bye" and all the other women laughed.
These were just a couple examples from when I went out this week. But these things frequently happen to me. At college. At work (when I first began working there).
It weighs down on me so heavily because I have never witnessed this happen to anyone else (as an adult, aside from like, childhood bullies).
IDK. I don't look weird, I don't dress weird or out of the norm. I am really mild mannered and make efforts to be polite especially in work/school settings. And I am just dying inside because something is causing me to be socially isolated, and I have no clue what it is.
It has happened enough times to where it can't be that just "Oh people are assholes"
Pls help.
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>>18141280
>I am a 25 year old woman
stopped reading there
post tits
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They might be jealous of you or maybe you come off as a bitch.
I'm a dude, but no stranger has ever been rude or mean to me
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>>18141304
What makes one "come off as a bitch"?
I know I do not talk like one. My voice has always been sweet. I talk politely and sincerely. And not in that over-the-top "customer service" acting way. Just genuinely calm and polite.
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I have a friend who isn't good with women. He tends to become way too invested way too early to the point that it has to be sending off red flags to these girls left and right.
For example, on his first date with the last girl he was with (this lasted a month, if that) he was taking pics with her on his Snapchat. On the second date, he was putting pictures of them together all over his instagram and snapchat. Is this not weird/inappropriate?
I told him he shouldn't be doing that kind of stuff so early on. I told him you should wait until you're in an actual relationship before putting stuff like that all over social media. I think this is playing a part in scaring these girls off. Am I wrong? And was I wrong for advising him to stop doing that?
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>>18141274
>I have a friend who isn't good with women
you are on anonymous board you dont have to lie its your friend who needs advice
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>>18141281
Did you even read my post? That doesn't even make sense.
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>>18141284
Yea you just need advice if u gave him good advice, that sounds so true
Anonymous
How to get over a broken friendship? 2017-03-19 06:10:28 Post No.18141239
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How to get over a broken friendship?
Anonymous
2017-03-19 06:10:28
Post No. 18141239
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I knew it would end this way, because it always ends like that for me. That's an old one. I'm an obsessive and dubious person, so that eventually leads to my downfall, time after time. I always suspected they despise me and then they really do. They called me egotistical, lazy, and something else like that, told me they're sorry they wasted their time on me. I'm not even sure this was a friendship in the whole sense, more like one-sided, where I would feel a strong bond, but I'm not sure if they felt the same or simply were condescendent to me the whole time. It was also sort of a master-pupil relationship. Like that. I wish I could just forget, that and the other one. Is there no redemption for me? I see myself as an ugly, disguisting foul creature, which is unable to contribute anything of value, be it drawing pictures, or other creative activities, it will always be cheap and distasteful, like chinese replicas of Van Gogh, artless, because it's made by such a worthless, foul scumbag.
"What if our world worked differently? Suppose we could tell her: 'I didn't mean what I just said,' and she would say: 'It's okay, I understand,' and she would not turn away, and life would really proceed as though we had never said that thing? We could remove the damage but still be wiser for the experience."
Share your stories too, perchance. Gather round, friends.
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>>18141239
i dont get what is this thread about
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It's hard to endure, when they cross me out like that, simply abandon me as if I mattered for them little more than an earthworm. Ofcourse, in due time, none of this will matter. I can't help but feel misery. They knew I'll be miserable, that it'll be just too dark for me, too dark, but they didn't care.
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>>18141239
your asking the wrong question. the real question is "why the fuck am i such a whiny bitch?"
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I´ve been an ex-muslim for about a year and a half now but I have never told anyone about it. My family are very conservative and would probably disown me if they knew about it. The worst part about it is that my father is a man that I really respect and care about in every single aspect-except in religion. Should I just hide this side from my family my entire life or should I just be honest when I am old enough to leave and live on my own?
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I'd wait until your living by yourself, it's better than living with them in constant resentment or worse, getting kicked out.
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>>18141232
Another ex-muslim here. I've waited until financially stable, left. Now I live alone and smile and nod at family gatherings. That's the only way to deal with it without conflict.
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I thought that muslims were supposed to kill apostates, so you better becareful
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this is gonna sound so dumb so chew me out if you want.
so i'm in my first ever relationship. we've been dating for almost two years. i'm a year out of college and she's a sophomore. the other night she went to her first ever frat party.
i don't drink, i never have. she told me she didn't either but she got really drunk. she told me stories of her showing extroversion she never shows me. i trust her, i really do, but i was so scared that she would do something unfaithful. she told me today she never would but i still am insecure about it. i've never dated a girl before her, much less a girl who went to parties and got shitfaced drunk. she's told me to stop treating her like a child but sometimes i really do feel like her freakin dad.
my question is, how do you guys in long successful relationships deal with this kind of insecurity? how can I help myself not be really frightened every time she goes to a party (I'm sure this won't be the last time)?
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>>18141230
>girl who went to parties and got shitfaced drunk
She is a slut dump her
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>>18141230
>the other night she went to her first ever frat party.
The only reason girls go to frat parties are to get fucked, don't ever let your gf go to a party like that without you
dump her
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>>18141252
maybe i shouldn't have asked on here
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How do you fix laziness? Im lazy in literally every aspect of my life. Im late to work everyday, I dont take care of myself , I never exercise, I hardly shower, and I never keep my room clean. I cant do anything longer than 10 minutes, and I cant force myself through anything Im trying to teach myself.
How do I fix this?
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>>18141224
Therapy for adhd, avoidant personality or autism
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>>18141243
i can't have ADHD, i'm not hyper at all. I can literally sit and do nothing all day.
I can guess I do have a severe case of ADD though.
I can hardly even focus on videogames or the screen im typing on. I have an extremely difficult time even reading something online, let alone a book.
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>>18141243
oh fuck this quick diagnose.
70% of all people have an attention deficit
to op:
do not punish yourself, REWARD yourself for doing something
try to motivate yourself